Is it wrong to change your mind?

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supercas29

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I'm 21 and I lost my virginity when I was 17.
I accepted Christ when I was 18, but still continued to have sex.
This September, I finally got baptized and I realized that I want to feel like I'm worth more than I currently think I am.

So... is it hypocritical of me, considering that I've already done so much that I want to opt for waiting until marriage before I give myself to anybody again?
 

Fire2box

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Of course its not. Being hypocritical is telling someone not to do this or that and then you go off and do exactly that yourself..

All this does is prove your willing to abstain from sex until your married, what's wrong about that?
 

g6s

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I'm 21 and I lost my virginity when I was 17.
I accepted Christ when I was 18, but still continued to have sex.
This September, I finally got baptized and I realized that I want to feel like I'm worth more than I currently think I am.

So... is it hypocritical of me, considering that I've already done so much that I want to opt for waiting until marriage before I give myself to anybody again?
Every time you judge someone for having sex, you're going to be a hypocrite. Period. You've engaged it in, and that's true forever. If you believe someone else is wrong for doing something you did, that's hypocritical.

Just don't judge or force your beliefs on others and I think you're safe either way.
 

ade

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I realized that I want to feel like I'm worth more than I currently think I am.
that feeling isn't likely to come in an instant, it's more likely to just be a part of your development process.
as things stand, and going by your values, you're already worth more than you were a short while ago.

So... is it hypocritical of me, considering that I've already done so much that I want to opt for waiting until marriage before I give myself to anybody again?
if it were 'hypocritical', would that be wrong? would it be wrong to tell a toddler not to touch something hot (knowing full well that you did the same)? stopping doing something or stopping someone else from doing something you've done, isn't necessarily false virtue, it's also learning from mistakes.
hypocricy, criticism and judgementalism all have their place. and if you find that you were wrong at any point, that's just something to learn from and deal with.
 
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I'm 21 and I lost my virginity when I was 17.
I accepted Christ when I was 18, but still continued to have sex.
This September, I finally got baptized and I realized that I want to feel like I'm worth more than I currently think I am.

So... is it hypocritical of me, considering that I've already done so much that I want to opt for waiting until marriage before I give myself to anybody again?
No, you would only be a hypocrit for condemning someone else for having sex before marriage.
 

checkingoutall

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FireFox2 said it all. What you did is done. Your choices forward are what really matters and I think your on the right path.
 

Fire2box

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FireFox2 said it all. What you did is done. Your choices forward are what really matters and I think your on the right path.
Gee I heard of myself being called Fire2Fox but not FireFox2. I am insanely pissed since I had Fire2box down since like 1998. About 20-25% of people call me FireFox. <_>

I thought Fire2box was going to be original but the best broswer ever had to come up with a similar name to me. Also no one cares about the red panda ( The real firefox)


End of Rant.
 

mizzycub

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Not hypocritical in the slightest. It is your decision, it isn't harming anyone, you want to do it - so do it!
 

ballucanb

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It's your mind if you want to change the way you live and feel that is up to you, do what makes you feel better about yourself.

Whats done is done, we all learn from our mistakes, and mistakes are the way we learn to do the right thing, if you now think this is the way for go, by all means go for it.
 
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If your doing this for religous reasons then I can relate to you. I do want to save myself from sin when possible, but just remember one thing, all sin is equally forgivable. So since you have already had sex before marriage, I do not see the point in waiting now. Plus finding out if your partner is good in bed is important, whether you think it is or not. They might have something seriously wrong from keeping them from performing effeciently or at all. So that means no babies.

Of course how good someone is in bed is not everything, but I believe it is one of many important peices that should be in a good partner. So ultimately you commited this sin before and will need forgiveness for it anyways so doing it more would make little difference. Although is all what I believe personally, if you feel compelled to do this then you should. Do not let anyone force you into anything you do not want to do.
 

supercas29

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Eclipse, that's honestly how I felt after I was saved... that I'd already broken the whole "wait till marriage" concept, but after I was baptized I felt that it wouldn't be right to keep giving myself away if it didn't mean anything. Plus... there's pretty much only one person I've ever known that will ever make me happy in every sense of the word... I just wish he'd hurry up and decide if I get to be with him or not.

I kinda think it's silly now that I even posted this topic because it's clearly my choice weather or not I choose to wait. I guess I just needed that fact pointed out by a half dozen people before I figured it out.

*smiles*
 

Fire2box

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. So since you have already had sex before marriage, I do not see the point in waiting now.
Let's say you were getting married would you rather know your partner to had sex with one or two people or 78 people or more?
 

supercas29

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That, and just the privelage of being able to say to my kids some day that even though I did make bad choices... after I recommitted myself to God, I waited until marriage to be with somebody again.
 
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Eclipse, that's honestly how I felt after I was saved... that I'd already broken the whole "wait till marriage" concept, but after I was baptized I felt that it wouldn't be right to keep giving myself away if it didn't mean anything. Plus... there's pretty much only one person I've ever known that will ever make me happy in every sense of the word... I just wish he'd hurry up and decide if I get to be with him or not.

I kinda think it's silly now that I even posted this topic because it's clearly my choice weather or not I choose to wait. I guess I just needed that fact pointed out by a half dozen people before I figured it out.

*smiles*
First off posting this topic was defiantly not silly, you just wanted clarification and encouragement, there is nothing wrong with that. Anyways seems like your trying to rush into marriage so you can end your sex strike. That could cause to be a mistake if you have not been with him for an extended period of time. You could end up finding you all do not get along when living together. So whatever you do, do not rush into things.

Whatever you decide to do, enjoy yourself and feel free to post a thread on any question you have, specially if it relates to infantilism/diaper stuff, that is what were here for.

Let's say you were getting married would you rather know your partner to had sex with one or two people or 78 people or more?
Well of course I want a girl who has only been with like 1-4 guys in that way in their life, but continuing to have sex does not mean go wild at having sex a lot lol. I have been having sex since I was 17 and have only been with 3 people like that with in the past 4 years. Thats not a lot at all I do not think, also depends on how quickly a girl goes with getting to that point. If she goes too quick like one girl I dated (second date lol) then that is a very bad sign. lol
 

DLGrif

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You should feel guilty of your past actions when you adopt a belief that condemns them, even though at the time it was perfectly fine with you. It is a reminder that you felt, thought, and acted a way you don't want to anymore. However, it is not hypocritical in the slightest if you wholeheartedly believe in this and willingly admit to your past offenses and your own guilt. It is only when you ignore or rationalize them that you are a hypocrite.

The unfortunate question is, which would you prefer, guilt or hypocrisy?

For me personally, I do not feel guilty when my new beliefs contradict my past actions. I like to live in the present moment, confident that I have learned my lesson, changed, and will not be tempted that way anymore. It's actually a dangerous way to live that I wouldn't recommend for anyone else.
 

supercas29

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Still, thank you to everyone. Eclipse, I'll admit... my desire to get married is rather strong, but only because I want to have a family. I've come a long way though in realizing that I can't push anything and that patience is my best bet. The waiting till marriage thing is something that I want to make a sincere serious commitment. I don't fancy the idea of dating people (never have) and I'm deffinately beginning to redefine my choices with how openly I tell people that I love them or even letting people say it to me. I'm pretty much just tired of being hurt, or feeling let down by people that I let myself care too strongly about.
 
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I'm 21 and I lost my virginity when I was 17.
I accepted Christ when I was 18, but still continued to have sex.
This September, I finally got baptized and I realized that I want to feel like I'm worth more than I currently think I am.

So... is it hypocritical of me, considering that I've already done so much that I want to opt for waiting until marriage before I give myself to anybody again?
If you're down on yourself for being human in times prior, and feel that imposing a form of suffering on yourself would make you feel like more than you are now, I don't know how to say this besides "I think that might be depression or something".


But then again, to each his own. You're doing this for religious reasons, and i've seen documentaries on some religious something-or-other in another country, where men march in slow lines, occasionally flapping a studded flail over their shoulders and against their backs as they walk.

By hit #50 it looks like some ninja with a ginsu sword decided to perfect his 'hundred cuts which do not cause death' technique, using their backs as a canvas.

I guess the best thing I can say is, don't be mad at yourself for being what you are. Though if you want hypocrite, look at me, because i'm giving you advice I cannot myself follow.
 
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Supercas29,

I commend you on your choice to follow your convictions after you've accepted Christ. Once you did that, you've been cleansed of all sins up to that point, regardless of what they were. Where hypocrisy comes in, is when you now do some of those same things that you now know to be sinful, and still try to maintain an outward appearance of following Christ. Yes it's true that we all sometimes stumble or fall, and make mistakes, we're human. The biggest thing to feeling better about yourself is just doing what you know to be right, and follow your heart.

I too accepted Christ many years ago, but unfortunately, I let some of the hypocrisy that was going on in my church discourage me from wanting to go back, and so I never did. I know that's wrong, and that's something that I will have to deal with on my own. I don't feel good about it, and I know what I need to do to make it right. You might say that I'm being a little hypocritical now by giving you advice that I'm not following myself, and that's probably true to an extent. But in my heart I that know this is the right thing to do to put a fellow christian back on the right track. And in that sense, it's not hypocritical.

I don't mean to preach here, God knows I'm far from perfect myself. But this is how I feel about it myself, and it's also what I did. I only had one instance where I had sex before I was married, and I really felt like crap afterwards, like I had just broken the law, but more importantly, Gods commandment.

If you feel in your heart, and know that it's right to not engage in premarital sex now, then don't. No one can make you stop except you and your conscience, and you're the one that will have to live with that choice.

I wish you all the best, and I hope that you have a good life. Trust in the Lord and he will provide. God bless you.
 

Boogeyman

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Really man, don't beat yourself up for doing something you thought okay in the past. It'll eat you alive if you do.
 

Lizzie

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I wouldn't think so. I mean you can't judge someone based only on their past
 
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