Interesting Conversation With Therapist

[BabyHailey1977]

I recently had a very good session with my therapist, and we talked about dressing babyish in public. I told her about a couple threads here that have sparked fierce debate. The question being if it’s right to introduce ABDL to a vanilla public. She told me that there was nothing wrong with what I was wearing and I should just be me. She offered that maybe some of those who fiercely oppose it do so as a result of their own fear prohibiting them from wearing in public. So this creates animosity and jealousy masked as an ethical argument.

She also urged me to use my pacifier more in public. She stated that since I love it, it’s part of me. She then said there are a lot of people that do things in public that bother someone. Like gay couples, sagging pants, different colored or styled hair. She said the list is endless, and people need the ability to present their authentic selves.

What do you all think? I used to be one of the judgmental people in my younger years, but not even close anymore. Nothing anyone seems to do really affects me at all.

Here is how I was dressed:

 

[SparkyDog]

all you can do is dress that way in different public settings and report back
Can either go smooth or go terribly.

personally I wouldn't do it
the odds of it going terribly are quite high
and makes a bad name for abdl in the public mind which already don't have a stellar reputation

 

[DiaperedDragon]

I'd say don't force your fetish on other people that don't want to be exposed. If you want to do that, I say go live on a deserted island.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I'd say don't force your fetish on other people that don't want to be exposed. If you want to do that, I say go live on a deserted island.

I get what you’re saying, but with me it’s not a fetish. It’s in now way sexual, just how I feel. And again, it’s not forcing anything on anyone.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

all you can do is dress that way in different public settings and report back
Can either go smooth or go terribly.

personally I wouldn't do it
the odds of it going terribly are quite high
and makes a bad name for abdl in the public mind which already don't have a stellar reputation

I did wear it out other than to my appointment. I wore it to a shopping center and didn’t have any issues. I got some smiles, but nothing else.

Also, me shopping dressed like this doesn’t do ANYTHING to other ABDL’s. It’s the talk shows and such that give ABDL a bad name.

There are so many people who have a problem with same ex relationships, so would you give them the same advice? Don’t go out in public, don’t hug, or kiss each other in public, you’ll give all same sex relationships a bad name? No! We don’t do that. We are in an age when people need to live their authentic lives. I didn’t wear this to garner attention, I wore it because it truly made me feel authentic.

 

[BigBigBaby]

I say feel free to be yourself, if they don’t like it, too bad

 

[PaddedInHaslet]

I honestly don’t have a problem of anybody dressing little out in public. However, I would draw the line at acting and talking babyish with other people. Like don’t go crawling on the floor or playing on swings and slides with other actual children or having your mommy/daddy feed you at a restaurant. I just feel that is bringing in unsuspecting people and they don’t deserve that. But as for as babyish clothes and rocking the (covered) diaper, you do you.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

It's just clothes.

But expect eventually someone will call the cops. 🙄

 

[BabyHailey1977]

It's just clothes.

But expect eventually someone will call the cops. 🙄

That wouldn’t be good, but either way, it’s not illegal.

 

[Edgewater]

I am 24/7, U-IC and I am out and about every day. I would believe that because I commonly dress, business casual I likely blend in, but that is a statement of my generation and our common old guy dress code.

I guess that I would be classified as a vanilla, but I find that label as harsh as any of the many other ones used.

When compared to the other recent Thread that involved a STAGED event with a camera crew and an overly large diaper that was pronounced and what you were wearing. There is a world of difference! Even as a vanilla, I have zero problem with what you are wearing. The other staged event, that was a no! Yes, there is a very fine line! Take the camera away and allow the individual to wander about is not a problem.

Let's get the legal issue off the table as it seems to keep coming up! I make no attempt to understand the why's but: A disposable diaper in and of itself is classified as proper cover and is legal wear in public setting. That said, a cloth diaper should have plastic pants over it to be classified as proper cover. Add a tee-shirt and socks and one can enter most eateries.

And while we are at it: Rights!! My rights extend until they cross into your rights! Your activities in your space are within your rights, your loud music as it crosses into my space interferes with my rights.

Back to the subject. The advantage of giving advice is one does not have to live with the likely results! I agree that with what you are wearing is not an issue. Like I stated, there are very fine lines out there and your therapist, should have provided you a bit more guidance! I am guess her effort was to develop a level of comfort within you and that I agree with.

 

[buridan]

It's just clothes.

But expect eventually someone will call the cops. 🙄

For wearing shortalls and a printed T-shirt? Good grief! I'm trying to imagine what the 911 call would sound like.

Caller: Can you send the police?

Dispatcher: What's the problem?

Caller: There is a man wearing a T-shirt with mermaids on it.

Dispatcher: What is the man doing?

Caller: He's walking on the sidewalk.

Dispatcher: Is he doing anything else? Is he bothering people?

Caller: Yes, his shirt is bothering me.

Dispatcher: ...

Dispatcher: *click*

She told me that there was nothing wrong with what I was wearing and I should just be me. She offered that maybe some of those who fiercely oppose it do so as a result of their own fear prohibiting them from wearing in public. So this creates animosity and jealousy masked as an ethical argument.

That all sounds true.

 

[blaincorrous]

For wearing shortalls and a printed T-shirt? Good grief! I'm trying to imagine what the 911 call would sound like.

Caller: Can you send the police?

Dispatcher: What's the problem?

Caller: There is a man wearing a T-shirt with mermaids on it.

Dispatcher: What is the man doing?

Caller: He's walking on the sidewalk.

Dispatcher: Is he doing anything else? Is he bothering people?

Caller: Yes, his shirt is bothering me.

Dispatcher: ...

Dispatcher: *click*

Don’t assume they will act like you imagine. Assume they will say what they need to say to get a reaction.

“There’s a pervert exposing themselves in the mall, and there are children here!!!”

I once filed a police report. My complaint was that a black man on a motorcycle was road-raging at me and spiting on my window. I feared for my life if he encountered me again. The officer who took my report was also black, and I being white did my best to be sensitive to the dynamics and honest. The officer asked if he spit through the window and on me, which would be assault. I told him my window was up. The officer made a point of thanking me for being honest about that. It then struck me that people tend to exaggerate police reports to get a reaction especially when they can get away with it, and he’s probably encountered white people who have lied like that.

These are the dynamics we need to be aware of when we tell someone it’s okay to discard prudence in public. You might be right, but proving you’re right might cost you dearly once the authorities get involved.

 

[foxkits]

I guess this is to get attention look at me. Stuff yes I have gone out diapered under normal clothes jeans cargo pants onesie I look like every one else not to get attention.
I like it that way. Yes I love my underwear but not into showing it off. Yes I have some accepted cartoon tee shirts but not ab/dl ones. But if you come around the wrong someone you could get hurt.
Remember one person was left hanging on a fence years ago.

 

[LittleAndAlone]

But if you come around the wrong someone you could get hurt.
Remember one person was left hanging on a fence years ago.

Everybody should have the skills, tools, and will to take care of themselves regardless of ABDL or not.

Everything in today's world is severely polarized and full of hate. Anyone including the police can be your enemy or working on behalf of your enemy.

 

[blaincorrous]

I always hesitate to speak up about personal safety, because people can do as they please. I don’t want anyone to have to repress their true selves. But an academic argument doesn’t matter to the back of a patrol car or some anger management dropout dad.

And, if I may be blunt… people of color, women, and trans individuals are a lot more vulnerable in situations like this than we white guys. It’s a privilege to say the law will PROBABLY be on our side… eventually. And, if some of us dress the way we want, we may be misconstrued as trans, and it’s still a deadly world out there for trans people. I don’t want ANYONE to be an ABDL martyr on my behalf. I’ll put it bluntly: I don’t accept your martyr-ship and would rather have you alive.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Don’t assume they will act like you imagine. Assume they will say what they need to say to get a reaction.

“There’s a pervert exposing themselves in the mall, and there are children here!!!”

I once filed a police report. My complaint was that a black man on a motorcycle was road-raging at me and spiting on my window. I feared for my life if he encountered me again. The officer who took my report was also black, and I being white did my best to be sensitive to the dynamics and honest. The officer asked if he spit through the window and on me, which would be assault. I told him my window was up. The officer made a point of thanking me for being honest about that. It then struck me that people tend to exaggerate police reports to get a reaction especially when they can get away with it, and he’s probably encountered white people who have lied like that.

These are the dynamics we need to be aware of when we tell someone it’s okay to discard prudence in public. You might be right, but proving you’re right might cost you dearly once the authorities get involved.

Again, how would authorities get involved? There is nothing illegal with what I was wearing.
Even if someone did call the police, they would see me and walk away. No laws being broke, I’m not exposing myself or even acting in a weird way. Im highly educated in civil and criminal law, the officer would need statutes to back them up…..there aren’t any.

If someone were to make a comment to me, that would be dealt with immediately. Never happened, doubt it ever will.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I always hesitate to speak up about personal safety, because people can do as they please. I don’t want anyone to have to repress their true selves. But an academic argument doesn’t matter to the back of a patrol car or some anger management dropout dad.

And, if I may be blunt… people of color, women, and trans individuals are a lot more vulnerable in situations like this than we white guys. It’s a privilege to say the law will PROBABLY be on our side… eventually. And, if some of us dress the way we want, we may be misconstrued as trans, and it’s still a deadly world out there for trans people. I don’t want ANYONE to be an ABDL martyr on my behalf. I’ll put it bluntly: I don’t accept your martyr-ship and would rather have you alive.

I currently live in Northern Idaho….extremely conservative. I am a trans woman, but present as male for now. I’ve been out shopping dressed as a woman and though I was nervous, it’s always been a positive experience. I’m lucky (unlucky as trans) in that I’m a built individual as people usually back down.

But yes safety is paramount…I agree

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Again, how would authorities get involved? There is nothing illegal with what I was wearing.
Even if someone did call the police, they would see me and walk away. No laws being broke, I’m not exposing myself or even acting in a weird way. Im highly educated in civil and criminal law, the officer would need statutes to back them up…..there aren’t any.

If someone were to make a comment to me, that would be dealt with immediately. Never happened, doubt it ever will.

Doesn't matter. All you need is non approving person calling and non approving officers responding to start a scene. They have trespassing, disorderly conduct, and disturbing the peace to start with that give them carte blanche to abuse power and do whatever they want to enforce their personal desires and then it becomes about asserting dominance.

Or they can just straight up tell you to leave and say it's a lawful order, then get you for refusing a lawful order and resisting arrest. They can claim they saw a weapon or smelled weed, any number of things and its your word against theirs while they have immunity from retaliation or punishment. Even if they were in the wrong after the fact, if you seek recourse, they can just ghost you and never face accountability.

If you challenge or defend yourself you end up dead or taking your chances that the prosecutor and judge aren't also of the same persuasion and eager to make an example out of you. Or even if they don't intend to win they can drag it out and financially ruin you in legal expenses before they give up without admitting they were wrong. And oops any confiscated belongings got lost too.

Law and order gave way to authoritarianism a long time ago.

I arrived at this outlook living my life as a straight white male 2A enthusiast. So can't even imagine getting on someone's bad side as ABDL, LGBT, POC, etc. or any combination.

There is a lot of universal hate for who people are, what they enjoy in private, what they wear, and what they own. Whether its legal or not or even Constitutionally protected doesn't mean squat. No matter who you are, someone, somewhere, including those in authority positions, hates you and wants to do you harm or make your life miserable any way they can.

 

[Edgewater]

Doesn't matter. All you need is non approving person calling and non approving officers responding to start a scene. They have trespassing, disorderly conduct, and disturbing the peace to start with that give them carte blanche to abuse power and do whatever they want to enforce their personal desires and then it becomes about asserting dominance.

If you challenge or defend yourself you end up dead or taking your chances that the prosecutor and judge aren't also of the same persuasion and eager to make an example out of you.

Law and order gave way to authoritarianism a long time ago.

As I stated in this thread earlier:
"Let's get the legal issue off the table as it seems to keep coming up! I make no attempt to understand the why's but: A disposable diaper in and of itself is classified as proper cover and is legal wear in public setting. That said, a cloth diaper should have plastic pants over it to be classified as proper cover. Add a tee-shirt and socks and one can enter most eateries."

Continuing to restate a non-starter does not move this discussion forward. And, to that end, this discussion has run it course and is now lapping back over itself. The therapist proved her point and the OP set a wonderful stage an etc, etc, etc...

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Doesn't matter. All you need is non approving person calling and non approving officers responding to start a scene. They have trespassing, disorderly conduct, and disturbing the peace to start with that give them carte blanche to abuse power and do whatever they want to enforce their personal desires and then it becomes about asserting dominance. Then they can claim they saw a weapon or smelled weed, any number of things and its your word against theirs while they have immunity from retaliation or punishment.

If you challenge or defend yourself you end up dead or taking your chances that the prosecutor and judge aren't also of the same persuasion and eager to make an example out of you.

Law and order gave way to authoritarianism a long time ago.

It’s simple…the chances of all that happening with what I was wearing is slim to none. Disorderly conduct for women’s clothes? That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Another shopper at a mall can not have me trespassed, it would have to come from the mall or individual store leadership. Again, with the way I was dressed….wouldn’t happen….lawsuit. Establishments are hyper aware of rights.

Other than the onesie (which no one could tell) I was wearing women’s clothes. The shortfalls were from Walmart’s women’s section.

When you actually know the law, not assume, it makes dealing with law enforcement a lot easier.

But again, the chance of anything you said happening is so slight, it doesn’t even warrant thought.