Info on poly relationships

w0lfpack91

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Please give me info / experiences / and such
Its selfish and abusive. Poly relationships are an emotional tightrope, I had a friend commit suicide last year over that because while he was open to the idea at first he quickly felt forgotten by his wife and depressed, was yelled at and berated as being poly-phobic when he voiced his opinion to her. About a week later he didnt come home. Police found him in his truck under a bridge with a razor blade and a slashed neck.
 

DocBrown

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I'm sorry you lost your friend. It shows that going poly from a binary needs to be considered carefully. How strong is the relationship? If you (generic you, not you you) are going poly to salvage a troubled relationship, fix the relationship first.

I'm going to start a household in six months or a year. I like that word because it allows that roles are different. To me, poly is more sexual.

So, info on poly... I can try to help if you give me stuff to relate to. Where are you (not geography) and what intrigues you, what scares you? Your thread, your lead
 

DanielW

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Just like ordinary relationships, Poly can be great or awful. It really depends on the people involved and the dynamics. I've been monogamous, and in a triad. Neither one is better or worse than the other.
 
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DocBrown

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Just like ordinary relationships, Poly can be great or awful. It really depends on the people involved and the dynamics. I've been monogamous, and in a triad. Neither one is better or worse than the other.
Good point. It's easy to come up with stories of twofers gone wrong. Like, most of them, eh? So wouldn't one expect the same dismal average in poly?
 

DanielW

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In either case, it isn't the type of relationship, but the people in it that make it a success or a failure. Yes, I would expect the averages to be the same either way. I don't think its fair to label any relationship type as Good or Bad. People can behave badly whether Single, or Traditional or Poly.
 
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CutePrincess

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In either case, it isn't the type of relationship, but the people in it that make it a success or a failure. Yes, I would expect the averages to be the same either way. I don't think its fair to label any relationship type as Good or Bad. People can behave badly whether Single, or Traditional or Poly.
still has more risks with it, lot easier for one get jealous over another when it is felt they are not getting enough attention.
 

DanielW

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no, it really doesn't - people will be just as jealous or insecure, or any other trait you want to mention in any relationship . Going Poly doesn't change a persons true nature. It just doesn't do that.
 

CutePrincess

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no, it really doesn't - people will be just as jealous or insecure, or any other trait you want to mention in any relationship . Going Poly doesn't change a persons true nature. It just doesn't do that.
Please give me info / experiences / and such
its my experience, plus im sure statistical probability supports the claim anyway.
I said it is an INCREASED risk, not a guaranteed one.
If you are with 2 people, there is TWO people to have jealous issues over one.
 
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DanielW

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Well, I suppose any relationship comes with an increased risk...just like life itself. I'm not saying any relationship is right or wrong for anyone. And I certainly don't mean to invalidate your personal experiences. All I am saying is the same risks, issues, and problems arise in ALL relationships.

Jealousy, cheating, STI/STD's happen . even with single-folk. The blame still lies with the people IN the relationship
 
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DocBrown

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CP,

"I'm sure" is an emotional statement unless it is linked to evidence. I'm sure that perhaps 50% of the time the subsequent claim is erroneous.

Daniel provided anecdotal evidence. I noted that there is risk in not having definitions. A binary sexual couple with a baby slave might induce jealousy in the baby slave, but then that's probably one of the things the baby slave gets off on. Heck, the baby slave could be the husband. Cuckolding is exciting.
 
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DanielW

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Something that just occurred to me is that some people might be confusing poly with an open relationship. Those are also different things with an entirely different set of variables.
 

DocBrown

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Daniel is right. People who are trustworthy and bond are trustworthy and bond. People who are transactional are transactional. Donald Drumpf is transactional. Bernie Sanders is trustworthy and bonds. Not talking politics, just personalities.
 

CutePrincess

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Something that just occurred to me is that some people might be confusing poly with an open relationship. Those are also different things with an entirely different set of variables.
im not.
I left annoyed, the one complained that the other would focus on me too much while not focusing on the other, so the 2 where into me but not into each other. One did not care but left the other feeling left out, was a headache.
 
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DocBrown

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O yeah, a household consisting of two rivals and the person they desire to be monogamous with has ever so large a chance of success. Sounds like you screwed up by agreeing to fail on purpose.

Been there. Done that. Wrote a book.
 
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CutePrincess

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O yeah, a household consisting of two rivals and the person they desire to be monogamous with has ever so large a chance of success. Sounds like you screwed up by agreeing to fail on purpose.

Been there. Done that. Wrote a book.
talking to me? i didn't fail on purpose, i kept telling the one give more attention to the other and stop focusing soley on me.
 

DocBrown

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talking to me? i didn't fail on purpose, i kept telling the one give more attention to the other and stop focusing soley on me.
Yeah, wishes on stars.

The point is that you knew the reality and chose to pretend that it could change.

Been there. Done that.
 

CutePrincess

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Yeah, wishes on stars.

The point is that you knew the reality and chose to pretend that it could change.

Been there. Done that.
at the time i didn't that's why i am saying now there is more things to deal with and consider and since it deals with 2 people not one, it has more risk for having problems since there is added complexity. I see no real apposing argument to this.
 

SorcerorElf

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Yeah, wishes on stars.

The point is that you knew the reality and chose to pretend that it could change.

Been there. Done that.
Reality is what you make it. Some things are near impossible to change, but in most cases you have at least some control of the situation. Just 40 years ago the extent of LBGT rights today (in developed countries) would have been considered too ambitious or altogether impossible. Yet it was achieved anyway.
 
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