I do want to preference my response with I don't want this to come out as me vs them or something negative but more as a food for thought or potential different view.
I do think it depends on the person and their background among many other factors, as well as cause of IC like technically speaking an involuntary loss of control can be considered being IC. Like if someone becomes diaper dependent(chose to wear or forced which has various levels like there are many older people that go to an unskilled home after surgery where they are diapered for "safety reasons" and if not caught or treated they can loose control) vs injury,, disability, or other causes could lead to different feelings or thoughts about them, also I do believe everyone handles situation differently.
Also like if someone has always been in them all their life they may not know any difference or this can go numerous directions but there are some who were into abdl stuff than became IC and some are happy with it like a dream came true but there are some that dreamt it then had regrets because it can effect ones life.
In my case though I basically asked to use them it was out of medical needs or risk vs benefit. For me cathing made me sick & at times very sick(like in the ICU) & in a messed up way I was fortunate with my cord injury I didn't have a retention issue as alot do. I also refused to get a colostomy because of the potential infection risks, not only with surgery but even risks afterwards. But even though I requested it because of the medical position I was in, mentally it didn't make it easier especially for first couple yrs or before I was totally independent with care or independent enough where I didn't require full-time help. For me it was demeaning in a way because not only did I have no feeling or sensation so I didn't know when I went and mentally that was another blow because if I didn't check I had nurses and aids that checked either way then having to wait for their help. But my background is very different than some, like I bought my first house in my mid 20's & was fully independent up till my injury the type A or Alpha personality also didn't help(I do understand there are non-ic abdl's that do or have done similar jobs as I did but they got a choice in the matter). I will mention once I was introduced to and found quality products my quality of life improved and for the most part I have accepted that part of my injury but it's like being paralyzed I still have bad days or days where my injuries/disabilities do wear on me and I do miss doing somethings or having ability. I get my situation is compounded by being paralyzed so like yesterday I had an event to go to I had to be there at 5pm but had to run few errands beforehand so it takes alot of planning(like getting my wheelchair in & out of truck takes time so I can't simply run quick errands so have to factor that in) and depending where I am going it may take time to research things like accessibility and facilities. Though I did wear a higher cap diaper I knew it wasn't to last for the whole event b/c I had to get dressed earlier and leave sooner & because I can't just stand, I needed to come up with a plan to change(which is something I have to do or keep in mind whenever I am not home) or leave early which is totally different from someone without mobility issues or simply stand in a stall, fortunately for me I was able to park indoors and was able to use back floor of my truck but I had to sneak around, which there are times where I feel like I am living a double life(some friends know but not everyone).
For the most part I am financially stable and I am not worrying about where products are coming from though I still have medical expenditures but I have had times where I was wearing case to case and even though I might of known what works like higher cap diapers like I wore yesterday I had times those special use products were to expensive which did effect how or what I did, also had times I had to get products through organizations, mentally for me asking for help sometimes feels like a kick in the teeth and times where I wish I didn't have to deal with it.
Lastly and I don't want it to sound like I am blaming everything on one thing or another like I do deal with stress, depression, situational depression, pts and sometimes anxiety but usually a lot of these are amplified by having a complex medical history. So like I had some medical issues before my cord injury and I have had my share of starting over or having to relearn things or learn them a different way, like I have a TBI, post concussion syndrome (few other terms sorry couldn't afford a stunt double after blowing lots of money of crap I can't remember) But I was exposed to Covid at work in late 2020 which almost killed me and I still deal with side effects from it like though I am a lot better than 10sec Tom I legit have to set alarms & reminders on my phone to remember to do basic tasks like changing, to daily life tasks, or like I require oxygen at night and forget to turn machines on before transfering into bed. But the simple tasks like when did I last wash up, do I need to change, did I eat today there are things I bet some take for granted or do without thinking & this is not a poor me F that but it does get depressing and or stressful at my age when I forget to check to see if I need to change or go to change and not need to or realize I forgot my diaper bag(fortunately I do leave a emergency kit in the truck but that's another reminder to restock both) shit I can't tell you how many times even with a list I buy stuff that I don't need I have many jars of PB&J even though I buy frozen premade ones.
I have been asked if I have one thing fixed what would it be or which would I choose and though it sounds like an easy choice but for some reason God has put me on this path for a reason(still think he is mad at me at times) and in my background or line of work there isn't do overs & there really isn't them in life but you can learn and try to do better, push on & be a good human, life can suck, everyone has there own worse day, you can be a puddle or an ocean, people stomp through puddles while oceans can take out cities or I am like a roll of TP I am either on a roll(and depending how it's hung it can be right or wrong) or I am dealing with crap.
For everything I have or deal with each has ups and downs