Incontinence Resources/Support Groups

[BabyKat]

Is it just me or is almost every incontinence support group on the net is either directed at children for bedwetting or at seniors for total incontinence. Besides here, there doesn't seem to be any young adult groups out there, but this is obviously more for ABDL purposes. I've looked everywhere on google and can't find anything. I'm just looking for information and ideas, but on a more neutral standpoint (IE no ABDL bias), but I feel like I'm just annoying everyone here by constantly asking questions. I like wearing diapers and my ABDL side, but I have noticed for unrelated reasons I've actually become slightly incontinent (I believe it's called "overflow" incontinence) as of a few months ago (which I'm scheduled to go over with a second doctor about). To me I feel that they are two different things for me, but with the same result - diapers, but I do feel kind of out of place asking some of the questions I do. Just wondering what other people thought, or if you know of anything I missed.

 

[EmeraldsAndLime]

We're a support community.

We expect questions. :thumbsup:

 

[Darkfinn]

As I am not legitimately incontinent I haven't really looked around for any IC-only support forums. It would be wrong to go onto one and lie about my current condition to talk to people... even if it was done with the best intentions.

I don't believe that there is much support for AB/DLs in the IC community... I've seen a few sites (wetbuster, the Goodnites board, the Depends board) overrun by people who get off on wearing diapers. That's not what those boards are around for... and I really don't think that many IC individuals would advocate just giving up and using diapers if another solution presents itself.

I imagine that the loss of bladder/bowel control is a devastating life-altering thing for most. Noone wants to see themselves as helpless or needing assistance with something like toileting, which they have been managing with quite well since early childhood. So to see a person with good, or even not-so-good control willingly accept diapers is traumatizing enough in itself.

So what I'm trying to get at here is this... while there may be other forums available to the IC community you would be wise to conceal your AB/DL side from them... while it can serve as an excellent coping mechanism for us... other people are going to be disgusted by it.

 

[InconJenOnWheels]

As I am not legitimately incontinent I haven't really looked around for any IC-only support forums. It would be wrong to go onto one and lie about my current condition to talk to people... even if it was done with the best intentions.

I don't believe that there is much support for AB/DLs in the IC community... I've seen a few sites (wetbuster, the Goodnites board, the Depends board) overrun by people who get off on wearing diapers. That's not what those boards are around for... and I really don't think that many IC individuals would advocate just giving up and using diapers if another solution presents itself.

I imagine that the loss of bladder/bowel control is a devastating life-altering thing for most. Noone wants to see themselves as helpless or needing assistance with something like toileting, which they have been managing with quite well since early childhood. So to see a person with good, or even not-so-good control willingly accept diapers is traumatizing enough in itself.

So what I'm trying to get at here is this... while there may be other forums available to the IC community you would be wise to conceal your AB/DL side from them... while it can serve as an excellent coping mechanism for us... other people are going to be disgusted by it.

Well said, DF. I'm a member of the Depends board, and there are a lot of nice people there. I haven't noticed to many DLs. Personally, I favor this board over a couple of others because the members are nice and the discussion is about other things other than diapers a lot of the time.

 

[timmywimmy]

darkfinn -

excellent point very well made. IC boards are for people who are physically IC. It's a different 'problem'. IC people - apart from a few - would definitely rather not be IC ... I think of *b-ism - at least for the majority who have been like this since they were really quite young - as people who are *psychologically* IC. We want the pleasure that IC people can't appreciate - because they have no option. I think we should always be careful NOT to soak up (pardon the phrase, ho ho) any of the support that IC people are offered, whether in terms of web support resources, or in more practical terms (medical support, therapy, tax relief etc.) It's not just that it's a kind of fraud. It actually gets in the way of how much help they get, and that would be something to feel guilty about.

BabyKat, because you're really an *b/DL, it doesn't matter whether or not you now have some kind of IC issues. This is where you belong!

 

[BabyKat]

So what I'm trying to get at here is this... while there may be other forums available to the IC community you would be wise to conceal your AB/DL side from them... while it can serve as an excellent coping mechanism for us... other people are going to be disgusted by it.

Well of course. I wouldn't do anything less or expect anything less. I just want some unbiased ideas - sure I like wearing diapers and all that, but there are definitely a lot more biased opinions/experiences over here, and I want to see more neutral ground. Experiences from continent ABDLs to incontinent non-ABDLs are obviously going to be completely different. And I don't know about you, but overflow incontinence is not exactly an AB-friendly type -> maybe it's just me, but most of the time urge incontinence or even stress incontinence, dare I say, are something some ABDL people even want. Noone really wants this IMO...unless it would be the only way to wear diapers for them of course. The "bittersweet" thing has to be the closest feeling I get from thinking about this.

We're a support community.

We expect questions. :thumbsup:

Yeah, but I kind of feel like I'm the only one kind of overrunning the new threads out with all the questions I ask.

BabyKat, because you're really an *b/DL, it doesn't matter whether or not you now have some kind of IC issues. This is where you belong!

I know in one way yes...but, :sad:, I'm starting to feel like the IC is moving away from here - I mean, half of the topics in here (being this section of the forums) are mine, and it's not like I'm spamming the same questions.

I just feel like some of them don't belong here...

 

[Darkfinn]

Well Kat... I think your problem stems from a genuine lack of IC individuals on this board. Not to say that there aren't some here... but from what I've seen most of them have accepted diapers as a way of life and have either no desire or no ability to change that. In actively seeking a solution to the problem you stand out from the others that are here... it's not something to feel bad about.

Second... don't regret asking questions... though you probably know the kind of answers that you are going to get from most of the "diaper advocates" here. I hate to say it but if you want opinions from others who are trying to cure their incontinence you probably will be better off seeking them elsewhere. I personally do have a vested interest in IC... though I do not suffer from stress, urge, or overflow symptoms my choice to be in diapers 24/7 puts me in many of the same situations that IC people face every day.

Other than that... I don't know what to say. I don't go actively seeking any IC forums b/c I don't feel that I would be accepted there. So this place is really all I know.

 

[BabyKat]

Well Kat... I think your problem stems from a genuine lack of IC individuals on this board. Not to say that there aren't some here... but from what I've seen most of them have accepted diapers as a way of life and have either no desire or no ability to change that. In actively seeking a solution to the problem you stand out from the others that are here... it's not something to feel bad about.

Second... don't regret asking questions... though you probably know the kind of answers that you are going to get from most of the "diaper advocates" here. I hate to say it but if you want opinions from others who are trying to cure their incontinence you probably will be better off seeking them elsewhere. I personally do have a vested interest in IC... though I do not suffer from stress, urge, or overflow symptoms my choice to be in diapers 24/7 puts me in many of the same situations that IC people face every day.

Other than that... I don't know what to say. I don't go actively seeking any IC forums b/c I don't feel that I would be accepted there. So this place is really all I know.

And the same here - I don't know anything else but here. But I think you're right - there are other people on here, just not a huge amount. I mean I like being 24/7 for the diapers, of course, but I still have a lot of questions about what I can do, etc. I'd probably still wear pretty often even if I was "cured", it's not something I would want to give up, but I guess I just wanted somewhere where I could get different ideas is all. I'm not really sure what I want there, but I'd really like to talk to some people who have the same issue and have experience in it already....Just to at least get some idea of what to expect. I would feel kind of out of place no matter where I go with that. Here or there.

 

[Jeremiah]

BabyKat, you are not the only one here that suffers from non-complete incontinence here. I routinely am frustrated with my bladder functionality. Please feel free to continue asking us for support or advice. This is why we are here.

As for other forums, I am currently unaware of any incontinence support forums that focus on issues other than either complete incontinence or youth bed wetting. If I find one, I will be happy to pass it along. If you find one, please let us know.

Best of luck to you! I sincerely hope that you find your answers.

 

[BabyKat]

but from what I've seen most of them have accepted diapers as a way of life and have either no desire or no ability to change that. In actively seeking a solution to the problem you stand out from the others that are here... it's not something to feel bad about.

I've been really thinking about what you said here, for the last couple of days. I think it's really a lot to do with the fact that the IC people here have had to deal with it for a long time and adjusted accordingly. As of a few months ago, I had pretty-good control. (other than the irritable bladder or whatever...Which was fine with me) Then I get randomly flung to almost no control most of the time withina few weeks span. Maybe I just haven't adjusted, I dunno? :dunno: (I was used to what I knew before) And I'm sure the not knowing where I'll end up doesn't help. But after, I'm sure, plenty of tests, I'll know what to expect.

BabyKat, you are not the only one here that suffers from non-complete incontinence here. I routinely am frustrated with my bladder functionality. Please feel free to continue asking us for support or advice. This is why we are here.

As for other forums, I am currently unaware of any incontinence support forums that focus on issues other than either complete incontinence or youth bed wetting. If I find one, I will be happy to pass it along. If you find one, please let us know.

Best of luck to you! I sincerely hope that you find your answers.

Thank you. And I really would appreciate that if you did.

 

[uknappyman]

I would have to agree with 'InconJenOnWheels' that I make use of another board here in the UK on the Incontact.org website.

This is a charity that deals with bladder and bowel dysfunction issues. They post a lot of truly useful information but I would not recommend being a DL or AB openly there as it is for truly Incontinent people!

Nothing stopping you having a look and view the archives etc.

Cheers,

UKNappyman

 

[ricky]

Hey B-Kat,

I can understand what you are going through. I am totally incontinent, both ends, but only for the last 5 years. I too like my diapers, and I've tried other ways to deal with it before I just decided that this is the best way to deal with it. I've been given several different drugs to try to control it, been told to self catheterize 4-5 times a day, used a condom/bag to catch it in, and none of them are very good options for me. The drugs had bad side effects, not to mention the interactions with the other medications I take for blood pressure and a blood clotting disorder. The catheters were really hurting me, and I was afraid they were going to do permanent damage to me, so I stopped doing that. The condom/bag method really only works if you have minimal leakage, not the neurogenic bladder with overflow incontinence like I have. My bladder size is, or was, enormous. I could hold over 35 ounces of urine, and that's been documented by the hospital nurses that had to drain it after my surgeries. I had more or less trained myself to hold it for long periods when I was working. I had a desk job, and I drank a lot of coffee and soda. So when I developed the overflow incontinence, when I began to go, it all came out at once, and the bags weren't big enough to hold all that, so they would leak, or the hose from the condom comes off and I wind up peeing down my leg before I realized it.
Over the last 5 years though, from not being able to control it, my bladder seems to have shrunken some. I'm guessing because I have no control, like I used to, and that's what made it stretch out in the first place. Now because there isn't anything to hold it back forcefully, the bladder has just given up.
If you have any questions you would like to ask, feel free. I'm no expert by far, but I have had 5 years worth of experience with this now.