Incontinence progression advice and what to expect

geekdiaperboy247

Est. Contributor
Messages
24
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Hey guys,

I was back in diapers on and off for my own choice since my late teen years, and developed mixed (OAB, stress, urge) bladder incontinence in my twenties. My symptoms from earliest to latest:
  • dribbling after peeing in the toilet
  • dribbling after having number #2
  • dribbling daytime, not wet but having damp underwear regularly all the time
  • can feel dribbling after certain moves
  • dribbling in the shower or in between diaper changes
  • having to wet very frequently, like 20-30+ times a day, every 15-60 minutes
  • strong urge, not being able to hold for long as the urge gets too painful
  • damp diaper/underwear when waking up
  • (no full bedwetting accidents yet)
  • skid marks in the back of my diaper
  • involuntary passing of gas
My continence was never perfect, but it was not much of an issue at all, I started wearing diapers only for fun back then. A few drops of pee in my underwear or very tiny leaks (a small spot), but nothing serious, completely manageable. When I was wearing underwear for some reason (most of the time when I started my journey and worn diapers only secretly; and later only rarely when I was shy to wear diapers), I did not follow any diaper training practice, these tiny accidents were completely involuntary, most of the times I didn't even recognized them happening until I went to pee and checked my underwear. When I was wearing diapers, I did not recognized them at all, I voluntary wet them so they were wet anyway. When I was in diapers, I used them only for wetting, even started to diaper train myself for wetting, but the commitment always subsided after some time. But as I was getting used to being in diapers, it started to became more and more easier to wet, and way more difficult to be in regular underwear without protection. The dribbling got more common, my bladder capacity got smaller, the urges got stronger and I started to smell like pee which was fun for the first few times while I was experimenting, but not at all after that. Whenever I worn underwear, even though it was not fully wet, only damp, it smelled at the end of the day.

So I started to give in and accept that I can't wear diapers only for fun, but I need them, as it is easier and more convenient to manage wetting. I had so many instances when I was like "alright, I better not wear this time before anybody finds out, I'll be fine", and regret it literally half an hour later when the urge to pee was so strong. So I started to wear tape diapers full time. It was always in the back of my mind as a fetish to wear 24/7, it still is, but in reality it was scary at first when it actually started to happen. It took some time to accept the fact that from now I wear diapers all the time for real, no matter what, in public, at my parents, at work/school, everywhere; and somebody may find out some time. But as time went by, it was easier to accept and today I just don't care anymore. An accident would be way more embarrassing, and the comfort and safety a tape diaper gives honestly worth everything.

Although my daytime control is declining, I don't see any significant change at nighttime. My diaper is usually damp, like my underwear were, but not like fully wet, it is definitely thicker in the morning at my crotch, but sometimes not even the indicators have a slightest color change at all. The issue may be that I find it extremely difficult to pee while laying down. Sometimes I'm in pain, I have to pee so badly, but I just can't let it go. Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep, sometimes I wake up at night, and usually I wake up in the morning having to pee very badly (due to my reduced bladder capacity), but simply can't and this can be super frustrating. When I stand up, gravity helps and I flood my diaper right away. Sometimes it helps if I open my eyes and get my phone in my hand to browse something. It is the light that helps mentally to unblock the reflex that I must not pee with my eyes closed? I even started to wear heavy duty diapers to bed even though I know I won't use them for their full capacity in my sleep, only to make sure I won't leak. This is the primary topic I'm looking for help.

I had a few bowel accidents once in a while, like smaller ones in every few months, but most of the time I can make it to the toilet fortunately, I am not even into messing that much really. Sometimes I had skid marks but I did not attributed any particular importance to them as they were quite rare. Sometimes I had some mild leakage when I was on suppositories (not laxative), and then I attributed the skid marks to them. Until recently, when I started to notice them regularly at diaper changes. I can see skid marks in the seat of almost all of my diapers, sometimes stronger sometimes less visible, but when I clean and wipe myself some leakage is definitely there. I also started to experience some involuntary passing of gas. I noticed that sometimes at home, but didn't bothered myself with it, I thought it was voluntary. And then it happened again when I was among people. It just popped out, I was not able to control it even with all of my strengths. Even though it was not loud, I was very embarrassed. Even though these are not full blown accidents thankfully, I have absolutely no contribution to these events, not even awareness for the skid marks, I only find them when I change, or I find that some air is coming out before one or two seconds, but I can't stop it. And they are getting more frequent, so I'm a little worried.

For most of the changes along the way I see that they happen only once or twice, and I don't really pay much attention to them, like "they were only an accident, but if I would focus I could prevent them". But after some time passes, they become regular and the new normal, and new changes appear. Which is both exciting and scary at the same time.

Thank you so much for reading this far, if you have some common experience, or any thoughts or advice to share, I would really appreciate if you would share that:
  • Did you have a similar progression of losing control after being in diapers for many years?
  • How much conscious effort did you put into being diaper dependent, if any?
  • How difficult it was to accept wearing diapers 24/7 is mandatory?
  • Any advice to being able to wet freely while laying in bed?
  • What are the next stages, what changes to expect next? Do you think some of them can be stopped or even retrained?
I would also love to talk to people who are at a similar stage of losing control.

geekdiaperboy247
 

ltaluv

Est. Contributor
Messages
859
Role
  1. Incontinent
You need to see a doctor, and you probably need to get some pelvic floor physical therapy. It sounds to me (as a non-medical opinion) like you have weak pelvic floor muscles, and a physical therapist will help you learn exercises to do to strengthen them.

What you get out of PT is proportional to what you put in. It takes hard work and commitment to make it work.
 

DwarvenDL

Est. Contributor
Messages
90
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
I have had a progressive loss of control that started about a year ago. To begin with, for the last 14 years I have had chronic kidney stones. For any one who has ever had one, you know how painful of an experience that can be. At one point, I was passing several that had lasted 7 days straight, and by the 7th day, my wife took me to the ER because I was quite literally ready to end my own life because of the constant pain. After that, I never wanted to go through it again, so I drink LOTS of fluids, mainly water, but other things to help break down growing stones and flush the kidneys. The hotter it is, the more I have to drink. During the summer, I usually drink a couple gallons worth of different fluids (7-1/2 liters).
I also have degenerative osteoarthritis in my spine, leading to pinching of the nerves in my lower vertebrae and neck.
In the last year I have experienced symptoms of OAB as well as minor leakage without knowing. At night, I have not experience any problems while laying down. I still get the urge, but I don't get leaks. However, as soon as I get up I'd better be in the bathroom within a minute or two. During the day, with the amount of liquids I was consuming, I was getting the urge(on a good day) but only had a couple of minutes to get to a bathroom. On a bad day, I would start leaking right after I got the urge, if at all.
I build custom cabinetry and furniture by trade, and there have been times where I have to do delivery and installs. Because of this I went to see the urologist. They conducted a test of which I don't remember the name, but essentially they insert a couple of catheters and sensors and then filled my bladder until I reached a certain retention level or I failed to hold it. I was told, on average, my bladder should hold about 10oz. of fluid. I didn't make it. It was all rather embarrassing as well. For the past year, I have tried numerous medications and had a DNA test to see which meds might work for me. The DNA test showed most meds won't work for me and a limited response from a few. None of that has helped. Cortisol shots in the spine have helped, but for a limited time. Pelvic floor exercises didn't do a thing for me, and so I have been pretty much left with the options of: diapers, catheters, or surgery. Because my insurance won't cover diapers, and I'm not sticking a tube 7 up my urethra, and I don't won't surgery if I can help it, 8ve had to really cut back on my fluid intake, and visit the bathroom frequently whether I have an urge or not.

This has been a frustrating experience and I've had a lot of mixed emotions about it because I am a DL. I like being in control of my DL side however, and when I'm working...well, it is what it is I guess.

I honestly don't see the situation getting better, and I fear having surgery on my back for something that is degenerative regardless. But my current finances don't really allow me to be diapered 24/7. And due to my fluid intake, things like pullups or protective underwear take a tremendous amount of my time, or simply aren't absorbent enough to handle my output. I have looking for other solutions, but as of yet have found precious little help in this area.
 

Nspchevy61

Est. Contributor
Messages
78
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  1. Diaper Lover
Have you thought about, or tried an external catheter? That of course, would require a collection bag be worn, but certainly less intrusive than an internal catheter.
 

PCBaby

Est. Contributor
Messages
4,057
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Little
  3. Incontinent
Sounds like what is called "functional Incontinence", you need to see a Doctor or Urologist to rule out anything serious. Pelvic floor exercises, kegels, posssibly physio it also sounds like post micturation dribble about 78% of men experience it and again pelvic floor exercises would help that, but see a urologist anad have a full run up.
 

DwarvenDL

Est. Contributor
Messages
90
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Have you thought about, or tried an external catheter? That of course, would require a collection bag be worn, but certainly less intrusive than an internal catheter.
Quite honestly, no I had not considered it. Up until very recently (last couple of months), I had never even heard of such a thing. The urologist didn't even suggest it, not sure why, unless it had something to do with the physicality of my work. Idk, I will certainly bring that up on my next visit. Ty!
 

Nspchevy61

Est. Contributor
Messages
78
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
Nice thing about the external catheter, is you can definitely try that out, without waiting on the doc, if you want. External catheter systems, and bags, can be purchased without a prescription. Are you in the US?
 

DwarvenDL

Est. Contributor
Messages
90
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Nice thing about the external catheter, is you can definitely try that out, without waiting on the doc, if you want. External catheter systems, and bags, can be purchased without a prescription. Are you in the US?
Yes
 

geekdiaperboy247

Est. Contributor
Messages
24
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Thanks for worrying about my health, actually I have some conditions that may affect my continence. I have moderate scoliosis since my childhood, with regular checkups, I even had to wear a corset for long years (even though I had to wear only at home, the embarrassment was felt similar to wearing diapers), and I've been skinny all my life with zero fat and low muscle tone. Although I have never been diagnosed with that, I imagine myself on the [normal - autism] scale somewhat shifted from the normal end. Fortunately, other than these, I'm absolutely fine, I have nothing serious to worry about other than weak muscles down there. I've learnt to live with these and recently with diapers.

What I'm more curious about is your experience related to my questions at the end of my first post. Thank you.
 

Wetshisbed

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,048
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Hey guys,

I was back in diapers on and off for my own choice since my late teen years, and developed mixed (OAB, stress, urge) bladder incontinence in my twenties. My symptoms from earliest to latest:
  • dribbling after peeing in the toilet
  • dribbling after having number #2
  • dribbling daytime, not wet but having damp underwear regularly all the time
  • can feel dribbling after certain moves
  • dribbling in the shower or in between diaper changes
  • having to wet very frequently, like 20-30+ times a day, every 15-60 minutes
  • strong urge, not being able to hold for long as the urge gets too painful
  • damp diaper/underwear when waking up
  • (no full bedwetting accidents yet)
  • skid marks in the back of my diaper
  • involuntary passing of gas
My continence was never perfect, but it was not much of an issue at all, I started wearing diapers only for fun back then. A few drops of pee in my underwear or very tiny leaks (a small spot), but nothing serious, completely manageable. When I was wearing underwear for some reason (most of the time when I started my journey and worn diapers only secretly; and later only rarely when I was shy to wear diapers), I did not follow any diaper training practice, these tiny accidents were completely involuntary, most of the times I didn't even recognized them happening until I went to pee and checked my underwear. When I was wearing diapers, I did not recognized them at all, I voluntary wet them so they were wet anyway. When I was in diapers, I used them only for wetting, even started to diaper train myself for wetting, but the commitment always subsided after some time. But as I was getting used to being in diapers, it started to became more and more easier to wet, and way more difficult to be in regular underwear without protection. The dribbling got more common, my bladder capacity got smaller, the urges got stronger and I started to smell like pee which was fun for the first few times while I was experimenting, but not at all after that. Whenever I worn underwear, even though it was not fully wet, only damp, it smelled at the end of the day.

So I started to give in and accept that I can't wear diapers only for fun, but I need them, as it is easier and more convenient to manage wetting. I had so many instances when I was like "alright, I better not wear this time before anybody finds out, I'll be fine", and regret it literally half an hour later when the urge to pee was so strong. So I started to wear tape diapers full time. It was always in the back of my mind as a fetish to wear 24/7, it still is, but in reality it was scary at first when it actually started to happen. It took some time to accept the fact that from now I wear diapers all the time for real, no matter what, in public, at my parents, at work/school, everywhere; and somebody may find out some time. But as time went by, it was easier to accept and today I just don't care anymore. An accident would be way more embarrassing, and the comfort and safety a tape diaper gives honestly worth everything.

Although my daytime control is declining, I don't see any significant change at nighttime. My diaper is usually damp, like my underwear were, but not like fully wet, it is definitely thicker in the morning at my crotch, but sometimes not even the indicators have a slightest color change at all. The issue may be that I find it extremely difficult to pee while laying down. Sometimes I'm in pain, I have to pee so badly, but I just can't let it go. Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep, sometimes I wake up at night, and usually I wake up in the morning having to pee very badly (due to my reduced bladder capacity), but simply can't and this can be super frustrating. When I stand up, gravity helps and I flood my diaper right away. Sometimes it helps if I open my eyes and get my phone in my hand to browse something. It is the light that helps mentally to unblock the reflex that I must not pee with my eyes closed? I even started to wear heavy duty diapers to bed even though I know I won't use them for their full capacity in my sleep, only to make sure I won't leak. This is the primary topic I'm looking for help.

I had a few bowel accidents once in a while, like smaller ones in every few months, but most of the time I can make it to the toilet fortunately, I am not even into messing that much really. Sometimes I had skid marks but I did not attributed any particular importance to them as they were quite rare. Sometimes I had some mild leakage when I was on suppositories (not laxative), and then I attributed the skid marks to them. Until recently, when I started to notice them regularly at diaper changes. I can see skid marks in the seat of almost all of my diapers, sometimes stronger sometimes less visible, but when I clean and wipe myself some leakage is definitely there. I also started to experience some involuntary passing of gas. I noticed that sometimes at home, but didn't bothered myself with it, I thought it was voluntary. And then it happened again when I was among people. It just popped out, I was not able to control it even with all of my strengths. Even though it was not loud, I was very embarrassed. Even though these are not full blown accidents thankfully, I have absolutely no contribution to these events, not even awareness for the skid marks, I only find them when I change, or I find that some air is coming out before one or two seconds, but I can't stop it. And they are getting more frequent, so I'm a little worried.

For most of the changes along the way I see that they happen only once or twice, and I don't really pay much attention to them, like "they were only an accident, but if I would focus I could prevent them". But after some time passes, they become regular and the new normal, and new changes appear. Which is both exciting and scary at the same time.

Thank you so much for reading this far, if you have some common experience, or any thoughts or advice to share, I would really appreciate if you would share that:
  • Did you have a similar progression of losing control after being in diapers for many years?
  • How much conscious effort did you put into being diaper dependent, if any?
  • How difficult it was to accept wearing diapers 24/7 is mandatory?
  • Any advice to being able to wet freely while laying in bed?
  • What are the next stages, what changes to expect next? Do you think some of them can be stopped or even retrained?
I would also love to talk to people who are at a similar stage of losing control.

geekdiaperboy247
I grew up a chronic nightly bedwetter and wasn't reliably dry at night until I was in my early 20's. My daytime control wasn't brilliant and until I was about 10 years old most days I wet my self. My current incontinence started in my late 40's first with some dribbling and damp under wear, followed by bedwetting. Both have steadily increased and |I now wear nappies all the time. I don't have any bowel problems
 

DwarvenDL

Est. Contributor
Messages
90
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Yer right, I had to think about this one a bit.

Did you have a similar progression of losing control after being in diapers for many years?
Since the mind is such a powerful thing, I have often wondered how much my desires have contributed to my condition. I think it would be naive to think it's had no affect, but the question would be how much.

It has been a progression over the last year for me, but before that I did not have any noticeable issue aside from feeling the urge and really wishing I had a diaper instead but not being able to indulge in that because of circumstances.
How much conscious effort did you put into being diaper dependent, if any?

I didn't put any conscious effort into being diaper dependant. I enjoy being the one in control of that. However, I have noticed that I have a different mindset when I am wearing a diaper to the point that I have often used it without thinking, or that I automatically pee when I put one on.

How difficult it was to accept wearing diapers 24/7 is mandatory?

I am still struggling with this one. I don't always want to wear them (I think🤔), and I can't always wear one (job, finances). Unfortunately, If I am doing the self care things I should be doing, then some sort of incontinence product is mandatory.

Any advice to being able to wet freely while laying in bed

If you have a male part, point it down. Drink lots, relax, and don't try to force it. I have found that for me, this worked best. When I am thinking about it too much, or trying to force it, it tends to have the opposite affect. Sometimes I will watch/listen to a video of waterfall/stream, and just let things happen.

What are the next stages, what changes to expect next? Do you think some of them can be stopped or even retrained?

I honestly have no idea. The progression could continue, or it could plateau. Could those reflexes be retrained...that all kind of depends on what is ultimately causing them to fail.

Hope that helps.
 

PupSpaz

Est. Contributor
Messages
283
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
I've been effectively 24/7 for many years (since early 20s, now early 40s), and uses for both #1 and #2, with exceptions sometimes made for #2 when out and about (although not always able to hold it now...) #2 had become harder to hold over the years, not sure why but not bothered by it because in my mind it belongs in the diaper anyway. To some extent, I've actively been training to let my diaper hold it instead of me. My understanding is that for many people (incontinent or diaper training) control over #2 sometimes diminishes when no longer trying or worrying about holding #1. I've also have frequent daily skid marks, but since always diapered it's again not something that's worrying, but it definately didn't exist normally 10 years ago. Way to many innocent farts seem to have some (not felt) liquid component also present, part of that may be diet.

My bladder is definately not where it was when toilet trained. Since I'm always diapered and want to be, it's not something I've tracked closely, but on the rare occasions I go without protection, urges are frequent and hard to hold. For me, this is a desired outcome of diaper training, not a setback. I also suffer from being unable to wet in my sleep, waking up, sometimes in pain, just to wet my diaper in a non sleeping position... a magic pill would be ideal, lol.

Incontinence seems to be mostly one way, you tend to only get worse over time, and those "fighting" to retain control often are relieved if they get to the point of just wearing and relying on a diaper (or whatever works) and stop fighting the invitable so they can focus on everything else life has to offer instead of always focusing on preventing the next loss of control. That's a major adjustment for many, and not all conditions warrant that outcome for sure. I mean this with compassion, the fight is very important for self worth to many, something this diaper lover / fetishist indirectly has dealt with but not in the same way as those not desiring diapers whom had control taken away by the powers that be.

If you haven't, I'd encourage you to see someone about the loss of control to confirm it's not something 1. Easily correctable (like an STI that is undiagnosed...) or 2. A sign of an underlying condition that should be addressed or watched. Self diagnosis is an easy trap to fall into, justifying things that aren't normal with excuses that can fool yourself into a false sense of security until it's too late to address. If your pre disposed to some level of incontinence, then so be it, but better to know for sure than miss something important.
 

Rob110

Est. Contributor
Messages
2,072
Role
  1. Incontinent
Hopefully you have already made an appointment to see an urologist if not its time to do so , my Ic started the same way and quickly progressed to me requiring diapers 24/7. I skipped the meds and decided to simply wear protection my first urologist was more into pushing meds due to a study he was apart of, I have read a few user experience’s on a incontinence support site a while a go where they had major issues wirh external catheters not sticking in place and causing a major leak. Some times a premium diaper is the best option no side effects snd no collection bags to burst.

Hopefully your urologist ( incontinence Nurse) can help with the leaks and can rule out anything life threatening that is causing your bladder issues. If you bladder issues grow worse snd you find your self needing to wear diapers It is manageable and over time it’s something you get use to and it really does not change your day to day life (Maybe swimming ) just makes traveling more of a logistical challenge getting supplies to your hotel if your flying.

Remember you are not alone in dealing with IC issues and we're all here to help and support each other.
 
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