Incontinence and its psychological influence on the person

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alexandradomaseva

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Always wanted to know how other people who have bladder or incontinence problems cope with this matter not from physical (diapers, pads, other methods or means of managing uncontrolled wetting), but from psychological way. For me having enuresis was always a much more significant psychological problem in much more extent than physical. At my 27 years of age I have long got accustomed to sleeping in diapers and having bed protection and caring about it if I sleep not at home, but I cannot even now get accustomed to my bed wetting as a problem that does not allow me not to live but to feel as a normal person who does not have such a problem. I remember that during my teenage it caused a lot of psychological problems and a lot of tears were shed about it and now when I am adult person I experience influence of my problem on my way of life, behavior, etc., etc., to say nothing about personal life, so for me the psychological aspect of it is much more serious than the physical one, particularly as incontinence management solutions offered to day are quite effective in many cases.
 

Llayden

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I actually cannot recall a single instance of anxiety from bedwetting as a kid all the way into the mid teens. Sleep away camps, overnighters with school, sleep overs, scouts all of it I did just fine. I only used a plastic sheet at home and did not know about diapers until after I stopped wetting. I do remember being a little anxious about it while I was still active duty and my issues started to return slowly after a few trips overseas and some wear and tear on the body.

But I still just function as though everything is normal. Because it is. I accepted a long time ago when I was a kid that I was normal and my bodily functions were normal. Not in comparison with others, contemporaries, or the perceived norm by society. But that I was a normal person as myself. I dunno, it's just matter of fact. This is how my body is, and this is how I take care of it and it sure as hell doesn't dictate whether I live a "normal" life in any way shape or form. Wetting the bed or your pants occasionally hardly rates as a physical disability/abnormality in comparison to just about every other unfortunate human condition/injury except for maybe a common cold or a finger cut (just my personal view about myself!).

Also I've never really given it much thought until a thread like this appears and requires some introspection into the soul, lol. Seriously. I never ever think about it, not when I was a child, a teenager, or when it returned as an adult. It just is, like breathing or digesting. I give bedwetting and the protection requires as much thought as brushing my teeth at night or taking a shower in the morning.
 

Rob110

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I do not feel any less normal or even stressed about having to wear diapers to control my OAB it's just somthing I now have to deal with. The only thing I no longer do is swimming but thinking back I never really liked swimming all that much any ways :)

So do not think of your self as any less normal for having to wear protection as its a normal state for millions of people around the world.
 

ST50

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Doesn't bother me at all now. I have accepted it and get on with life. When I first became incontinent and dependant on nappies I was very concious about people noticing. Now I just don't care any more. I make no effort to hide it any more. If someone sees my nappy or hears the rustle then so what.
 

jdinvirginia

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Unfortunately, the general public is affected to a much greater degree than those of you who have posted. The psychological and emotional impact of incontinence generally is greater than the physical effect of the incontinence itself.:sad: Remember, incontinents in the general public who are moderately or severely incontinent generally do not handle it well at all. Perhaps most are in some degree of denial - both about their incontinence and about their need to wear diapers. Many men would rather pee their pants six times a day than admit their problem and, horrors, wear a "diaper."

Also, many who are incontinent cannot even bring themselves to use the word "diaper." In nursing homes and retirement centers the staff is forbidden to use the word "diaper." "Protective garment" or "brief" is what usually is used.

Many incontinents socially isolate themselves and compare incontinence to a lifetime jail sentence. Others consider themselves to have become a "pariah." This resultant psychological and physical isolation feeds the loop by keeping those incontinents from learning how to manage their incontinence. It is very sad.

In contrast, anyone who is incontinent and actively participating in an online support group or other incontinence-related forum by definition is not in denial and is being pro-active about their incontinence.:smile: They usually cope fairly effectively and manage the emotional aspects reasonably well.

--John
(double incontinent and wearing 24/7)
 

joemama

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Doesn't bother me at all now. I have accepted it and get on with life. When I first became incontinent and dependant on nappies I was very concious about people noticing. Now I just don't care any more. I make no effort to hide it any more. If someone sees my nappy or hears the rustle then so what.

I agree 100% with this. I was so afraid at first that someone would find out and I would be laughed clean out of the building. At work was the hardest. I am a consultant and must dress reasonably upscale and hiding the bulge is sometimes very hard having my shirt tucked in. Along with this I travel constantly and TSA just sucks. Over the years as things got worse and I went from a guard to a pull up and now full diapers with covers, I have found peace with things. I have had a few people notice over the years, but nothing really came of it. I guess at this point I just feel it is my underware. I do not talk about it any more than someone else might discuss theirs. I am not saying it is easy, but you can learn to live with it just like anything else. Especially if you are not given a choice. Changing at work still causes me nervous fits, but that is life. Wear what works, live with your head up, and never let someone else provide you with your self-worth. I have found that I like diapers now and I have fun with the designs available. At this point when TSA pulls me out for a private screening, I just smile and proudly drop my drawers. It embarrasses them more than me now! Gotta have fun where you can and live your life.
 

Tetra

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For me in life my IC has never been an issue really mentally because I subscribe to the SNAFU state of mind,granted I do have triggers that cause me great emotional trials sometimes, however IC is not one of them, dealing with it or ignoring it are all within my control,what I do or not to is completely up to me, I wear Protection because it has never been a good idea to whiz in any computer (although I have a machine that is"underwater" it's not my water)and I have seen many a power chair unrepairable due to a user's inadequate protection, I do not worry about embarrassment as in issue because when I was able bodied I was in Emergency Services and I have seen things that people due that are so much stupider and embassing than IC that it just doesn't phase me.

I don't have personal knowledge of Richard Gerre's issues but I can tell you I have had many patients with any number of bizarre things trapped in there causing pain, and after seeing a couple of hundred cases of that there is nothing I could ever due in this life with an IC issue that would ever rise to the level of thought provoking shall we say, IC is generally a sign of a greater Medical problem in the body whereas having a gerbil or zucchini stuck inside you is definitely not an observable "organic dysfunction" in any natural way.
 

Hipster

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It's a struggle but gets a little easier. Talking to my therapist helps because I know she'll listen and provide support/empathy. Find a friend you can get support from. It's not easy but looking at it as just part of your routine is helpful. I try to tell myself, ok time for bed gotta brush my teeth, take meds, put on my diaper, etc. which makes it seem more normal. But I fully realize that IC is not only a physical but mental demon. It may make you feel depressed and anxious or later wer your self esteem. But don't let a diaper deem your self worth.
 

Piefox

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Even though my IC is only bedwetting there are still some times when I go places if I gotta stay the night or something I always wind up getting nervous about my problem an sometimes I go without sleeping because of it. Inside I know its really nothing to worry about even with protection but the anxiety is still there. Although I have gotten very good at concealing it.
 
P

Padded53

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Over the years as things got worse and I went from a guard to a pull up and now full diapers with covers, I have found peace with things. I have had a few people notice over the years, but nothing really came of it. I guess at this point I just feel it is my underware. I do not talk about it any more than someone else might discuss theirs. I am not saying it is easy, but you can learn to live with it just like anything else. Especially if you are not given a choice. Wear what works, live with your head up, and never let someone else provide you with your self-worth. I have found that I like diapers now and I have fun with the designs available. At this point when TSA pulls me out for a private screening, I just smile and proudly drop my drawers. It embarrasses them more than me now! Gotta have fun where you can and live your life.

Great Post Joemama, this pretty much sums it up for me too!!!
 

Tiddles

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Anxiety is a big problem and so is depression about bed wetting. Most of the time I am fine and then from out of the blue "wham" it hits me like a brick. An accident is usually the cause, but sometimes if I am feeling bad allready it gets worse. Ah sod it. Not feeling so good now. I have had this all of my life, been through the doctors visits etc etc. It`s like owning up to being stupid and a failure every time I have to talk to a so called specialist. I have given up on all of that now. Even when I am dead and burried I am sure I will pee in my grave.
 

RedAndBlue

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I have started urinating in my sleep this last month. I thought it was from being very sick at the beginning of the year or from an interaction with the medication I was taking but it hasn't gone away yet. I havent wet the bed regularly since I was a kid and I have no idea what is going on now. I have another Dr appointment this week so we will see.

Your post about anxiety hits home for me Tiddles. I was putting off going to sleep for several weeks because I didnt want to wet the bed and when I finally went to bed, it seemed inevitable it would happen no matter what I tried.

After a two nights in a row of waking up completely soaked, I ordered a pack of briefs to try and keep my bed dry and keep me from getting any on my wife. I was/am so embarrassed about this but my wife has been amazing through this. With her acceptance of everything that is going on, I feel more comfortable to just do what works.

I have accepted that this is something I'm just going to have to work through and I'm hoping we will figure it out and be done with it. In the meantime, I have had little to no anxiety about sleeping lately. However, now I have anxiety about forgetting to put a brief on before bed or that I might fall asleep without one. That is definitely something I was not psychological prepared for. I hated the idea of wearing protection at night 4 weeks ago and now I'm a nervous wreck if I start thinking about sleeping without one.

Oh well. Hopefully the doctor will have some good news.

It looks like other people who wet the bed on here have had similar changes of opinion about their protection as time goes on and that makes me feel more normal. I dont think I really like wearing them but I definitely appreciate them for keeping embarrassment and messes to the minimum.

Sorry for the long post. I'm not good at consolidating my thoughts. :)
 

PlotTwist

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I definitely have all sorts of anxiety when I first became incontinent, I would go to sleep hoping I would wake up dry, then wake up a couple hours later wet. I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep because I was afraid I'd wet the bed again... Needless to say, only getting a couple hours of sleep per night doesn't do you any favors either. Since I've been wearing 24/7 though, I really don't have much to worry about aside from a leak - which has only happened once or twice. I'm still a little spooked about going over the a friends' house and spending the night, but I've developed ways to deal with it.

I'm very quickly coming to terms with incontinence, but like someone else had mentioned, I think us DLs are more likely to make peace with it as we don't have that negative image associated with wearing protection. I myself have another problem though, where I feel some degree of guilt whenever I wet myself, even though I can't stop it. A holdover from when I used to wear strictly for fun, I'd guess. I'm slowly getting over it though, by telling myself things like if I was diabetic I wouldn't be feel guilty if my blood sugar went out of whack.
 

ST50

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I actually cannot recall a single instance of anxiety from bedwetting as a kid all the way into the mid teens. Sleep away camps, overnighters with school, sleep overs, scouts all of it I did just fine. I only used a plastic sheet at home and did not know about diapers until after I stopped wetting. I do remember being a little anxious about it while I was still active duty and my issues started to return slowly after a few trips overseas and some wear and tear on the body.

But I still just function as though everything is normal. Because it is. I accepted a long time ago when I was a kid that I was normal and my bodily functions were normal. Not in comparison with others, contemporaries, or the perceived norm by society. But that I was a normal person as myself. I dunno, it's just matter of fact. This is how my body is, and this is how I take care of it and it sure as hell doesn't dictate whether I live a "normal" life in any way shape or form. Wetting the bed or your pants occasionally hardly rates as a physical disability/abnormality in comparison to just about every other unfortunate human condition/injury except for maybe a common cold or a finger cut (just my personal view about myself!).

Also I've never really given it much thought until a thread like this appears and requires some introspection into the soul, lol. Seriously. I never ever think about it, not when I was a child, a teenager, or when it returned as an adult. It just is, like breathing or digesting. I give bedwetting and the protection requires as much thought as brushing my teeth at night or taking a shower in the morning.
I wet the bed most nights right up to the end of my teens. It never bothered me and still doesn't. I could never see what the problem was.
 

Tetra

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What interests me is the subconscious changes to IC ABDL People we all fess up to having either been a bed wetter or currently are,yet I know bed Watters who say try that in English when I say nocturnal enuresis.and many of us are in diapers bed pads rubber sheet not a drop of urine has hit my bed in years,similarly we talk of leaks and how impact full a leak in our protection is yet before IC ABDL we all said at one time or another "I am going to take a leak"so how does it evolve from a good thing in our language to a bad thing in our minds.

When we went to school being a sissy or bedwetting was a huge insult yet just like nerd has evolved to a positive,we accept and identify with bed wetter and sissy among ourselves and that has not evolved . And like I say leak has gone from a positive to a mental negative just in our heads. Anyone care to weigh in on there observations?
 
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