I'm so tired of my Lazy Alcoholic Brother

BabyTyrant

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Finally decided to take away the plugs to my TVs and took my Switch, so hes probably gonna be mighty bored if that ain't enough maybe I will have to take away the plug to my Moms TV and the plug to the internet modem.

He is so lazy and has no ambitions or wants, all he wants to do is get drunk (if he has the money he gets a 1.75L bottle of Bacardi Spiced or black rum and drinks from sun up to sun down), have fun, and sleep.

I mean whats a guy supposed to do to get his brother to stop being so lazy and get a job?

He has not had a job in over a year, could of been hired at McDonald's and who knows where else, if he would at least try, but he really doesn't care.
 

kitty

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It sounds to me like he needs help or an intervention. That behavior would be unacceptable to me.
 

BabyTyrant

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It sounds to me like he needs help or an intervention. That behavior would be unacceptable to me.
I know, but you can't get people to do what they dont want to do, and as far as I can tell the only way he would have a smidgeon of desire to want to work is if Walmart would take him back, but they wont and we cant get him to look for a job, do housework or anything; he could have walked a few minutes down the road and asked about getting a job at the local Dominos, but of course that's too much effort for him.

Even without the alcohol all he does is stays at home and plays video games all day, that's why I took the power cables away.

I don't even know where he is at the moment as me and my mom had to go to work (same shift same company) and he wasnt even home, so idk where he is or what he is doing.

I just hope it's not a repeat of July 4th when he got drunk with my cousin, was walking around and passed out and woke up in the hospital.
 

Fireband

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Listen,
As someone who hits the sauce more than he probably should, I cannot stress the importance of getting him an intervention, or at least some help. When I hit a depression spike, I turned to the bottle (my best friend at the time), and probably would've drank myself into the ground if it hadn't been for my old girlfriend (god rest her soul) who helped me quit my crazy beer indulgences and probably saved my life.
I am so thankful she saved my life (I just wish I could've saved hers), and I am sure your brother will be grateful if you do the same. Note: it will take some time as he will probably hate you at first for trying to help (I know I hated giving up some of my booze), but eventually he'll wise up and see you are trying to help him.
I hope this helps you a bit.
Fireband
 

BabyTyrant

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Interestingly enough helping addicts is kind of my moms Boyfriends area of expertise, but idk if my mom would ever talk to her Boyfriend about my brother, and even if it happened I doubt my brother would actually stop drinking, it's not that he always has to have it but that once he gets past a certain point it's like the point of no return; he will drink what is in front of him, no matter what it is or how strong it is.
 

dogboy

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Sometimes you have to go the tough love route. Give him a time limit to when he has to leave. Sometimes people have to have some sort of serious motivation to change a bad lifestyle.
 

BabyTyrant

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Sometimes you have to go the tough love route. Give him a time limit to when he has to leave. Sometimes people have to have some sort of serious motivation to change a bad lifestyle.
Oh, soon he will run out of money (that my dad sent him) with no TV, no video games, no media streaming, he should soon realize he ain't gonna have any fun if he ain't working, as long as I'm at work will be at least as long as he will be bored every week from now on.
 

nomadjoanne

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Good luck. I agree with others that tough love is needed. I'm in a somewhat similar situation with my sister. She moved halfway across the country (US) to a conservative state, only to find that she lost the Medicaid she had in New York and can't afford the alternative. Surprise surprise *rolls eyes*. Very annoying considering she has a progressive genetic condition. I give her money cos I don't want her to end up homeless, but I know at some point I need to get tougher with her. Not sure how though as her condition exacerbates the problem.
 

BabyGurlAlexa

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You have to remember that addiction is a mental illness, addicts are born suceptable to addiction. there are people who can drink a lot and not become alcoholics.

Your brother isnt lazy he needs help.
 

BabyTyrant

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You have to remember that addiction is a mental illness, addicts are born suceptable to addiction. there are people who can drink a lot and not become alcoholics.

Your brother isnt lazy he needs help.
Sorry to say but he is lazy, he rarely even has money to buy the copious amounts of alcohol he likes to drink; and even sober he didn't have any motivation to walk not even 5 minutes down the road to inquire about Dominos Hiring sign and see if they would hire him.

You might think I am not being realistic, but i could literally walk to my local Dominos and back in under 5 minutes.
 

AnimeDude892

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Sorry to say but he is lazy, he rarely even has money to buy the copious amounts of alcohol he likes to drink; and even sober he didn't have any motivation to walk not even 5 minutes down the road to inquire about Dominos Hiring sign and see if they would hire him.

You might think I am not being realistic, but i could literally walk to my local Dominos and back in under 5 minutes.
Just do the right thing and call the police on him or just kick him out. I don’t care
 

BabyGurlAlexa

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Sorry to say but he is lazy, he rarely even has money to buy the copious amounts of alcohol he likes to drink; and even sober he didn't have any motivation to walk not even 5 minutes down the road to inquire about Dominos Hiring sign and see if they would hire him.

You might think I am not being realistic, but i could literally walk to my local Dominos and back in under 5 minutes.
Do you honestly think hes going to get a job if hes drunk?
 

jasonm03

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There is nothing you can do for him, what you have to do is worry about yourself go to an alnon meeting and share your feelings with the group if he is an alcoholic only treatment and A.A. will work for him. Our bbok is meant to be suggestive only we realize we know only a little ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do for the man who is still sick the answers will come if your own house is in order obviously your can not transmit what you don’t have see to it your relationship with him is right God will disclose more to you and to us and you will surely me some us us as you trudge the road to happy destiny (AA big book A Vision for you) I’ve been sober for a while now and know what he going through hope he get help soon
 

BabyGurlAlexa

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Alcpholics cant do that, alcoholics are dependent on Alcohol addiction is an illness.

you are confusing binge drinkers and alcoholics, i think the easiest way to put it is if you are addicted you cannot function without the substance
 

BabyTyrant

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Well, I still think it is a problem that he could spend a whole day (and sometimes does) doing nothing but drinking, like how can he achieve anything like that?

Not to mention when he did work he would often go and drink *before work* and then when he ended up "sick" well that is because he cant go "well I think I have had enough"
 

BabyGurlAlexa

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i apologise if im saying the wrong thing

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im also worried ive offended you because of your time to take a break post
 

jasonm03

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The Promises
From the AA Big Book
. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. AA Big Book page 83-84

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Alanon has the same promises

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Hope all is going well with you. Work on yourself and don’t feed into your brothers mess
 
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