I'm Running an Experiment on ABDLMatch (so you don't have to)

quarktheory

Est. Contributor
Messages
373
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Incontinent
So a few weeks ago I made an account on ABDLMatch (without really doing any research) because I thought why not give it a shot. Since then I've read what people have said about it being a complete scam designed to extract money from desperate people. I've also received a couple of notices that people had messaged me on there, which of course I have to pay to be able to read. The first one I ignored because it seemed fake, which honestly kind of confirmed what people had been saying. The second message though was better, so I decided to bite. I'll go over what I've done in this thread, and provide updates on my findings.

1. Using https://www.privacy.com/ I create a disposable credit card with a $10 limit that was set to expire immediately after the first use. I purchased the 3-Day Silver trial. If this message turns out to be a scam (which it probably will), they won't see another dime, not even a first month "oopsy you forgot to cancel" $29 charge.

2. I read and replied to the message. I also looked at the profile of the user who sent it. Turns out a sexy older woman from my city wants to get into ABDL and has already bought diapers and everything. Of course, her message to me was so generic that it could really appeal to anyone, and since my profile doesn't have any information, I could take it to mean anything from "I want to try this to spice things up in the bedroom." to "24/7 Total Power Exchange Diaper Slave with Contract".

3. I posed 3 simple questions in my message. These questions were designed to be the types of questions that literally anyone from my city could answer immediately, and if they couldn't answer them then they're really not someone I would be interested in anyway, even if they were real. On the other hand, it is extremely unlikely that a bot or even an actor or actress would be able to guess the answers:

1. What is a major landmark our city is famous for? (My city has an extremely famous landmark, and if you live here and don't know what it is, then you're too ignorant to even have a conversation with, much less pursue a relationship.)
2. What is the name of a major roadway (any major roadway) that goes through our area? (Anyone who has ever had to drive or navigate in this city could easily throw up many correct answers to this one.)

The problem with the first two is that a staff member arguably could get those answers using Google and 5 minutes of research. Those questions were mostly designed to defeat bots and increase the cost of any actor/actress. That brings me to the last question:

3. There is also a really really huge gas station on the way to the next major city that is pretty famous and as a particular mascot, can you tell me the name of the store or the mascot? (This question is vague enough that you probably can't just use Google to figure it out. On the other hand, it's also a pretty well known place, and this person claims to be a real estate agent, so this one is also easy for a real person to answer in my opinion.)

UPDATE:
I actually got a reply! I considered this possibility far less likely than simply hearing nothing at all, so at least we know it's not a bot. Or that at least an actor or staff member takes over when they get a response.

They were offended that I would question whether they were real, and suggested that if I had doubts I should never have joined the site, and said that my distrust is a turn off to many people. They also said that "for the record, I'm not going to answer your questions." they "don't want to fall for your (my) trap." because "it makes me (them) look stupid".

Ya right. It's only a trap if you're an actor and not a real person from my area. I think they gave themselves away with that line.

I replied to their reply. I apologized that I had offended them and explained that ABDLMatch has a terrible reputation within the ABDL community, and it was the site I distrusted and not them. I explained that people like them are very rare to find, and that I would love to talk to them more. I then insisted that they needed to answer the questions in order for me to be able to verify them. We'll see what happens next.

====================
By the way folks, I just wanted to take this time to point something out for all our younger, newer and especially less assertive folks. A PERSON GETTING OFFENDED THAT YOU WANT TO VERIFY WHAT THEY TELL YOU IS PREDATORY BEHAVIOR AND A HUGE RED FLAG. Do not be swayed by this attempt to distract you, because that's exactly what it is, an attempt to distract you.
====================

My predictions are as follows, from most to least likely:
1) I get another generic message claiming to be offended that I dare question whether they are real.
2) I receive no further replies at all (a good scam artist won't waste time on someone who isn't going to be a good mark).
3) I get clearly made up or otherwise non-convincing answers to the questions. (seems less likely unless they aren't very smart or are extremely desperate for customers)
4) I get correct or reasonable answers to my questions, and we continue to have a conversation. (I'm not holding my breath).

If #1 or #3 happens, I'm going to respond and give ABDLMatch a piece of my mind. Preying on people's desperation and insecurities to extract money from them in a recurring fashion is despicable. The 3-Day trial will expire, and any further charges to the card will be declined because it expired as soon as I made the initial $3 purchase. I will then contact tech support and have them delete my account.

If #2 happens, I will let the trial expire and then contact tech support and have them delete my account.

If #4 happens, I will immediately try to find a way to connect with this person on another platform that doesn't charge for the privilege.

I'll keep you guys posted.
Read their terms of service, they state that you are not allowed to connect with anyone outside of their site.
send them your contact info, and so on.
if it’s a dating site, then how are you supposed to connect with anyone?
 

ADDSchoolboy

Est. Contributor
Messages
37
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
So I just want to close this on an up beat.

I never did get around to giving ABDLMatch a piece of my mind.

Because the day it expired I was running around with a real woman who is into ABDL in my actual city, that I met in the same time period on Fet. I attracted her the "old fashioned way" by reading her profile before sending her a polite and articulate message.

I'm not posting this to brag, I'm posting this to say that if you put the work in, have confidence, and seek out compatible people, you can find what you're looking for. Of course, I do live in a populated area, but if you want to make a connection you can find a connection, and if it's good enough the distance thing can sort itself out.

Just have confidence in yourself and your worth as a person, and present your whole self to the other person as the worthwhile individual you are. If they're good they'll appreciate you. If they don't appreciate you, then you were better off not knowing them anyway.
 
Last edited:

quarktheory

Est. Contributor
Messages
373
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Incontinent
I did a google search on a few of their members that had contacted me, I found several that were using the same photos for different people.
it is a scam, there may be a few real people on there but the odds of connecting with any of them .......
 

ADDSchoolboy

Est. Contributor
Messages
37
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
I did a google search on a few of their members that had contacted me, I found several that were using the same photos for different people.
it is a scam, there may be a few real people on there but the odds of connecting with any of them .......

Ya I did notice there did seem to be a few real people on there. Some of the people's profiles seemed to indicate where they actually lived in the body of the text for example. Another had no profile picture but had like 20 something "hookups". I figure that person was probably a prodomme or into online role-play or something like that. Of course, probably all or most of the men's profiles are probably real. But if you see a profile that says some generic stuff about being lonely and just having discovered ABDL etc, all the pictures are just generic kinds of naked pictures, no diapers or implements or anything, nothing in the profile about the types of people they find attractive or who they're looking for, etc. Then it's probably a fake profile, designed to be as generic and widely appealing as possible.
 

quarktheory

Est. Contributor
Messages
373
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Incontinent
As I said earlier their terms of service “
Restrictions on your use of the Site

You agree that you will not post any content on the Site, transmit any content to others, communicate any content, provide links to any content, or otherwise engage in any activity on the Site or through the Services that:

•Impersonates or otherwise misrepresents affiliation, connection or association with, any person or entity;

•Posting of email addresses, messenger usernames, external website links, or phone numbers in your profile or personal messages.


•Discloses any personal or confidential information of any person or organisation without first obtaining their consent or solicits another person's personal information for commercial or unlawful purposes;

•Solicits or requests personal information from anyone under the age of 18 or solicit passwords for unlawful purposes;

•Contains any material which is technically harmful (including, without limitation, computer viruses, logic bombs, Trojan horses, worms, harmful components, corrupted data or other malicious software or harmful data);

•Promotes racism, bigotry, hatred or physical harm against any group or individual;

•Promotes or enables illegal or unlawful activities;

•Is intended to harass, annoy, threaten or intimidate any other members or other people or organizations;

•Is defamatory, inaccurate, obscene, indecent, seditious, offensive, , abusive, liable to incite racial hatred, discriminatory, inflammatory, blasphemous, in breach of confidence, in breach of privacy or which may cause annoyance or inconvenience;

•Is deliberately misleading or fraudulent;

•Contains copyrighted content (such as music, videos, photographs, images etc) without first obtaining their owners consent;

•Uses the Site or Services for chain letters, junk mail or spam e-mails;

•Advertises or solicits any member to buy or sell any products or services;

•Interferes or disrupts networks connected to the Site or attempts to interfere with the proper functioning of the Site (including imposing an unreasonable load on the technical infrastructure used to operate the Site); or

•Contains any material which may infringe or violate any third party's rights.”
if you follow their terms of service, How can you ever connect with anyone REAL?
 

ADDSchoolboy

Est. Contributor
Messages
37
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
As I said earlier their terms of service “
Restrictions on your use of the Site

You agree that you will not post any content on the Site, transmit any content to others, communicate any content, provide links to any content, or otherwise engage in any activity on the Site or through the Services that:

•Impersonates or otherwise misrepresents affiliation, connection or association with, any person or entity;

•Posting of email addresses, messenger usernames, external website links, or phone numbers in your profile or personal messages.

if you follow their terms of service, How can you ever connect with anyone REAL?

They actually violate their own TOS by impersonating fake people and misrepresenting themselves and where they're from.
 

Calico

Est. Contributor
Messages
4,921
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Other
This site was always a scam from day one. Pay to view messages, fuck that. Scam alert. When I pay for a subscription, I expect a subscription, asking for more means scam.
 

Calico

Est. Contributor
Messages
4,921
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Other
•Posting of email addresses, messenger usernames, external website links, or phone numbers in your profile or personal messages.

But a real human would say the website does not allow that as stated in their TOS.
 

Calico

Est. Contributor
Messages
4,921
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Other
This reminds me on diapermates when it only allowed ten PMs a day under free membership. We found ways around it by giving out messenger names and email addresses. Then they updated their site and it started to censor out that stuff but we found another way around it. We started to say "myemail at hotmail dot com."

But they couldn't censor out IM names so there was that.

Then I met my ex and then I met my husband and my profile went down. I heard then they only allowed one PM a day under free membership and then none at all. Fuck that shit lol. I am not joining any site that forces you to pay and won't let you have contact outside the site or how else are you supposed to meet?

You can't force people to pay because they go somewhere else.
 

ComfyCosy

Contributor
Messages
6
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Sissy
  4. Carer
ABDLmatch seems 99% for sure a scam.
Normally it is almost impossible to find many women on these type of AB/DL contact sites.
But on this one you get 3 women a day contacting you all of a sudden, and this with a profile with only this line: I like diapers
I it seems to good to be true it mostly is ;)
Case closed
 

RunButDontHide

Est. Contributor
Messages
163
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
tbh I wouldn't have expected otherwise, but it was an interesting experience nonetheless... Though I am of the opinion that a relationship based solely around both parties being an ABDL has an extremely high chance of failure anyway... And as a fun fact which is very marginally relevant to the discussion, I've read someone somewhere (so take this with a huge grain of salt) saying that dating an ABDL girl wasn't exactly what it was cracked up to be, that the poster had dated a few and they were all extremely needy/clingy (1 - I think if this was the case it would be up to each person's discretion anyway 2 - One man's opinion doesn't really constitute as scientific evidence), just a fun side note...
 
Last edited:
D

Deleted member 52064

Guest
Yes, I had the same experiences the other way round: Guys writing their first message to me on fetlife describing their fantasies (which included me) in every detail! DDLG/ABDL has 1000 different aspects and mine is during roleplay nonsexual also I am not a slave, don’t want to be punished or used or humiliated... just cared for and having fun together... the messages I received upset and hurt me because they were somewhat between creepy and horrifying. These guys never saw me as a person but objectifying me as somebody who solely exists to fullfill their fantasies.

Of course I never met one of them.
And @runbutnothide, very good comment <3
If you match sexually/kinky with a person it doesn’t mean you can be also a good couple in real life!
Quite the other way round - find someone who loves you for your real you. This person will even when not sharing your kink letting you live it out freely alone or with others. This it what true love means, accepting you and just allowing you to be.
Don’t settle for anything less.
 

DiaperedInTheBay

Contributor
Messages
18
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
Yes, I had the same experiences the other way round: Guys writing their first message to me on fetlife describing their fantasies (which included me) in every detail! DDLG/ABDL has 1000 different aspects and mine is during roleplay nonsexual also I am not a slave, don’t want to be punished or used or humiliated... just cared for and having fun together... the messages I received upset and hurt me because they were somewhat between creepy and horrifying. These guys never saw me as a person but objectifying me as somebody who solely exists to fullfill their fantasies.

Of course I never met one of them.
And @runbutnothide, very good comment <3
If you match sexually/kinky with a person it doesn’t mean you can be also a good couple in real life!
Quite the other way round - find someone who loves you for your real you. This person will even when not sharing your kink letting you live it out freely alone or with others. This it what true love means, accepting you and just allowing you to be.
Don’t settle for anything less.

Thanks for sharing these perspectives Amy. Sorry you've had to go through that. RunButDontHide good thoughts as well. Honestly that's why I've been concerned about opening up more to the ABDL community since, at times, it seemed like you have to be hardcore ABDL and super kinky if you want to be part of the community. At least that's what I've felt from observing things like CapCon from afar. A normal relationship where diapers are just a part of it from time to time seems much more my speed. What have you all experienced?
 

ADDSchoolboy

Est. Contributor
Messages
37
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Little
Thanks for sharing these perspectives Amy. Sorry you've had to go through that. RunButDontHide good thoughts as well. Honestly that's why I've been concerned about opening up more to the ABDL community since, at times, it seemed like you have to be hardcore ABDL and super kinky if you want to be part of the community. At least that's what I've felt from observing things like CapCon from afar. A normal relationship where diapers are just a part of it from time to time seems much more my speed. What have you all experienced?

I'll admit that it can be a bit overwhelming at first to get into the wider scene. One of my early experiences in the scene was with a couple who invited me to come out to a class. I spent the rest of that evening going to the class, then to dinner, then to the play party, and ended up spending the night in their guest bedroom.

The person I'm talking about is a very famous ABDL pornstar these days. Great person and I'm lucky to have met them (it's always interesting to see them pop up on things :). But to say they were a bit further along in their journeys than I was is an understatement to say the least!

You don't have to dive in that deep if you don't want to, and going to conventions, being super kinky, etc, are all things that come with time (if at all). Some people are really outgoing like that, for me personally, while I would like to go to a convention, I can't see myself flying out to Chicago and staying in a hotel, and spending all that money. That may change though at some point because I'm not necessarily against it either.

My advice would be attend a munch, make some friends (people that are cool people first, and into ABDL second). After that see if theirs a play space in your area, or parties you can attend. I think what you'll find is that the kink community is filled with people who are intelligent, well-balanced people. You'll also find some people who are bat-crazy and don't have their lives together. How much involvement you want to have is ultimately up to you.

Some good advice: "Don't compare yourself to who someone else is today, compare yourself to who you were yesterday."
 
Top