I'm done asking for advice from this site

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Premetheus

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I always seem to accidentally cause drama so I just won't ask even if I need it. I can't help myself because I don't know how, but that doesn't matter... being right is far too important to people and that's fine but I'm done asking. I'm not even sure I belong on the site anymore... just by making this post I know it might cause drama but I can't handle it anymore. All I can do is offer others advice and maybe talk about other things.
 

Milko

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Premetheus that's exactly what I did. I pretend to be fully better so people don't think I want attention or anything. It doesn't help. I know there are some crap people on here but you can't let those people win. you can't give up on asking for help just becuause some idiots here take it the wrong way.
 

Premetheus

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Premetheus that's exactly what I did. I pretend to be fully better so people don't think I want attention or anything. It doesn't help. I know there are some crap people on here but you can't let those people win. you can't give up on asking for help just becuause some idiots here take it the wrong way.
They have already won... they think they are right and that is all that matters.... I just..... I am going to go cry I guess... nothing better to do
 

Milko

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They have already won... they think they are right and that is all that matters.... I just..... I am going to go cry I guess... nothing better to do

Okay. Do whatever you can to let out your emotions, so long as you don't harm yourself. You can cry, shout, scream, swear so long as you're not trying to bottle up your emotions. Let them out but try not to be consumed by them.
 

Premetheus

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Okay. Do whatever you can to let out your emotions, so long as you don't harm yourself. You can cry, shout, scream, swear so long as you're not trying to bottle up your emotions. Let them out but try not to be consumed by them.
Great I can't even cry... Has sadness become my existance? I know I need to cry... I feel it... but I just can't.
 

Milko

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Great I can't even cry... Has sadness become my existance? I know I need to cry... I feel it... but I just can't.

Keep trying. We all need a good cry every now and then :) by the way, you have a fiance don't you? does she know about any of this?
 

Premetheus

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Keep trying. We all need a good cry every now and then :) by the way, you have a fiance don't you? does she know about any of this?
She knows about everything... but she can't help much because we have not been able to be together due to money issues and location. She is 50 some miles away...
 

Milko

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She knows about everything... but she can't help much because we have not been able to be together due to money issues and location. She is 50 some miles away...

Than as soon as you can, I think you should stay with her for at least a couple of days, and let her support and be there for you. Does she know about your account here? If not I think you should show it to her.
 

Premetheus

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Than as soon as you can, I think you should stay with her for at least a couple of days, and let her support and be there for you. Does she know about your account here? If not I think you should show it to her.
I would but... people are keeping us apart. Yes she knows... in fact she suggested I find a site that supported ABDL for my own good. Her family doesn't like me or at least maybe I think they don't... but I can't see her. I have no way to get to her and she only just got a job herself after applying for 15 other jobs.
 

egor

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I wish I had a cure all response for you.

I understand about the self righteous types on here, or the ones that just like to argue.

I have seen your threads and just did not have any good advice that I could give or add to the people that did.
However I did see the one that was very blunt in the post and did not delivered there point in a positive fashion.

I can only give you and example that happened to me earlier this year.

I worked very hard on a project that frankly did not go well the year before. When it was all said and done I heard nothing form most people, a hand full of "Atta boys" and four vey critical and negative comments. I focused on the negative until one of the "true friend" here reminded me to look at it in the full prospective.

3000 members. I got maybe ten comments and 4 where negative.

4 of 3000 is 0.13% of the whole picture and that is NOTHING!!!

I know when you are down it is so easy to see the negative, but please go back and look at the doable advice that you got and move forward from there.

Believe it or not we are here to help each other.

I hope this helps

Egor
 

Premetheus

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I wish I had a cure all response for you.

I understand about the self righteous types on here, or the ones that just like to argue.

I have seen your threads and just did not have any good advice that I could give or add to the people that did.
However I did see the one that was very blunt in the post and did not delivered there point in a positive fashion.

I can only give you and example that happened to me earlier this year.

I worked very hard on a project that frankly did not go well the year before. When it was all said and done I heard nothing form most people, a hand full of "Atta boys" and four vey critical and negative comments. I focused on the negative until one of the "true friend" here reminded me to look at it in the full prospective.

3000 members. I got maybe ten comments and 4 where negative.

4 of 3000 is 0.13% of the whole picture and that is NOTHING!!!

I know when you are down it is so easy to see the negative, but please go back and look at the doable advice that you got and move forward from there.

Believe it or not we are here to help each other.

I hope this helps

Egor
It really does help... I just wish more people were like you. Understanding of the basics of a situation without going off on me. Thank you for your comment.
 
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A good thing to try and keep in mind is that almost everyone here wants to help. Both giving help and asking for help can be really hard. Sometimes people say the wrong thing without meaning to and it comes across as arrogant, righteous, or haughty. Sometimes when you're asking for help and you're looking for something specific, it can seem like a person is ignoring advice. But don't give up.

When people make mistakes or upset you, or when you feel like you've upset them, try to give everyone, especially yourself, the benefit of the doubt. There are good intentions and if you can stay calm and try to figure out what people are saying, there's very often a sincere intent both to help and to be helped. So don't give up.

I really hope you'll ask for help when you need it. Even if some people say things that upset you, there will be others that will figure out what you're looking for and offer encouraging words and good advice. That's worth wading through some mistakes. Always. :hug:
 

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I always seem to accidentally cause drama so I just won't ask even if I need it. I can't help myself because I don't know how, but that doesn't matter... being right is far too important to people and that's fine but I'm done asking. I'm not even sure I belong on the site anymore... just by making this post I know it might cause drama but I can't handle it anymore. All I can do is offer others advice and maybe talk about other things.
:hugs:Believe me, Premetheus. I can relate in that regard, at first I said that I wouldn't post anymore advice threads, then I posted one, and I know how not knowing how to help yourself feels, I also know how it feels for wanting everyone to like you, I believe I posted threads about it, but know this you may not find the solution right now, or why you do it, It maybe years before you do, but it will happen, But you still have to live your life too, and I will pray for you. And about the posting, I feel the same way. But it doesn't mean I don't keep posting, sometimes I feel I open my mouth and insert my foot on this forum more times than I can count, but people usually forgive me for it, That even extends to real life admittingly due to the fact that I don't think what I say sometimes, But I still keep posting, making friends, talking to people, sure I may say or do something bad unintentionally once in a while, but I keep trying and people usually forget about it the next day. Odds are, Just try to relax, If you offend people, don't worry because nobodies perfect, and people are a lot more forgiving than you think. :)
 

Luelusten

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I have been on this site a good few times in the past and I have had the same feelings and problems, this is why me and my Wife create a new scene alternative to the ABDL world :) but we still like to look other others now and then, don't like everyone get you down tho there are some nice people here just try not take other peoples post to heart, its hard but if you can do it then it will help you move forward in a world trying to be so open, where it needs to start cutting back if you ask me :)

hugs
 

Premetheus

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I just wish I knew how to ask for advice and recieve properly.... I guess being dianosed with borderline personality disorder might help you guys understand why I react the way I do.
 

tai

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Premetheus I know you don't really know me ( I don't think I've even really talk to you before) and I know what you must be feeling as we've all had that same thought run through your head at one point of another. but, If you'll allow me I hope I can help you with this. (the story might be a bit confusing at first but just take your time and think about what is said and the meaning behind it

I'll start with a quote. One you should know actually.
"There must be a beginning of any great matter, but the continuing unto the end until to be thoroughly finished yields the true glory." From what I've seen and readfrom you as well as many other to problems. How to solve a problem and how to take the information once gathered
If we start with a problem we will often be tempted to avoid situations like that entirely. And because we do this more often than naught we feel unprepaired But all to often we have the Knowledge and skills to handle nearly any situation. A common example would be a baby and how do you take care of it. They pee and poop, wake up at all hours of the night, spit up, cry and etc. If you were to go in like you knew what you were doing and had no experience you might do end up just making a mess. but if you gain knowledge before hand or had someone that could show you what to do you could end up doing a pretty good job. the premise is the same with doing and taking in advise just in a different way. we have problem solving in our blood it's just all how you go about doing it. One way would be to practice thinking ahead about something with only a limited amount of knowledge just think whats going to happen next. your parents could cook you some knew food you've never heard of. It could be bad and it could be good. simply when it comes to the small stuff make it a game. the only thing certain in life is when we stress out over every decision well often be a chicken with it's head comes off when it's time to play with the big boys.

I hope this helped in some small way. And if you need to talk I'm always here^_^.
tai
 

Premetheus

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Premetheus I know you don't really know me ( I don't think I've even really talk to you before) and I know what you must be feeling as we've all had that same thought run through your head at one point of another. but, If you'll allow me I hope I can help you with this. (the story might be a bit confusing at first but just take your time and think about what is said and the meaning behind it

I'll start with a quote. One you should know actually.
"There must be a beginning of any great matter, but the continuing unto the end until to be thoroughly finished yields the true glory." From what I've seen and readfrom you as well as many other to problems. How to solve a problem and how to take the information once gathered
If we start with a problem we will often be tempted to avoid situations like that entirely. And because we do this more often than naught we feel unprepaired But all to often we have the Knowledge and skills to handle nearly any situation. A common example would be a baby and how do you take care of it. They pee and poop, wake up at all hours of the night, spit up, cry and etc. If you were to go in like you knew what you were doing and had no experience you might do end up just making a mess. but if you gain knowledge before hand or had someone that could show you what to do you could end up doing a pretty good job. the premise is the same with doing and taking in advise just in a different way. we have problem solving in our blood it's just all how you go about doing it. One way would be to practice thinking ahead about something with only a limited amount of knowledge just think whats going to happen next. your parents could cook you some knew food you've never heard of. It could be bad and it could be good. simply when it comes to the small stuff make it a game. the only thing certain in life is when we stress out over every decision well often be a chicken with it's head comes off when it's time to play with the big boys.

I hope this helped in some small way. And if you need to talk I'm always here^_^.
tai
I understood it perfectly well, thank you for the advice. I will talk if you want I guess, but just know I'm very depressing.
 

tai

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I've always been interested in helping other people with problems. Don't know why and I don't really question it.but trust me when I say this. No matter what the problem is If I can help I'll always try my best to give you the best advice I can.
 

dogboy

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I'm sorry Premetheus that I haven't responded much of late. I actually read your threads but I just don't have the answers. Sometimes it's something I don't identify with and something I've had no experience relating to the problem, so I don't feel adequate giving advise. As for being Borderline, that I have experienced when I was in college, psychiatrist and all, my world crashing down around me. My way of coping was keeping myself busy, having goals and finding the woman who became my wife. She became that person that I gave and still give my all to.

If it helps hearing this, as I grew older, and I'm talking about decades, my mood swings lessened considerably. When I was first married, my wife would go into another room if I was working on some project which wasn't going well, because of my temper. But for me at least, it got better and hopefully it will for you. There will always be horrible things that life throws at us. I'm watching my wife's health erode and it's very hard to live with this knowing that one day something horrible will happen. All we can do is take one day at a time and try our best. All of us on this site do some weird things in our lives, like wearing diapers, identify with being a baby, cross dress, identify with the opposite sex. We are a complex lot. We really live a short life, so if we can accept these oddities in ourselves, we can find happiness. I'm at a place where the things that make me different from most people actually make me glad for who I am. It enables me to care more deeply for others who may have to struggle with the things that make them different. I'm glad for that.
 
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Marka

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I understood it perfectly well, thank you for the advice. I will talk if you want I guess, but just know I'm very depressing.


Premetheus,

I will ride in a bit on tai and dogboy's coattails...

I am sorry as well... I have a draft since about 3-days ago, that I had intended to complete for your "serious post"...

I'll start off by saying that I may be a mostly recovered BPD myself...

I believe that I have some understanding of your perspectives, as well as some of those from the other side...

I will try to help you...

I'm not easily offended (anymore)...

I'll leave it at that for now, so that I can actually get something out to you rather than have it remain in my drafts (where all things great to say, seldom get said).

For now, take care,
-Marka
 
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