BabelBilly said:
what would you do if your, let's say, 9 year-old begins to wet his or her bed every night?
First, I'd imagine, take him/her to the doctor, right?
Then, provide proper bed-wetting clothing, right?
If they continue, then obviously they would require protection-whether or not the child "likes" it.
Would that be considered child abuse? At my age, I'm not about to have kids or marry into any any time soon...just curious. Very interesting discussion I may add
The idea of "forcing" anything on a child makes me feel very uncomfortable, no matter what the reason. As a parent, part of what you have to do is to set clear boundaries and guidelines of expectation, but... you have to do it with mutual respect.
At some point this tiny, helpless being, over whom you have complete control, will become a determined, strong-willed, cunning human being. They will lie, cheat, steal and outwit you... if they so choose... unless there is mutual respect.
A 9-year old kid is mature enough to understand and discuss their bedwetting with their parents. Parents have no right to say, "
We have a problem with your bedwetting, so you must wear diapers and that's the end of it." The issue must be discussed, maturely, with respect for the child's feelings and preferences.
If my 9-year old child suddenly started wetting the bed, I would be most concerned. Firstly as to medical/physical issues, and then as to mental ones (stress, etc.). Once that's has been dealt with and you just have the practical issue of how to manage nocturnal incontinence, then it's very much something the child needs to be involved in.
Maybe they'd prefer diapers or pull-ups, maybe waterproof bedding is the answer, maybe a "bedwetting alarm" would help. Maybe they'd like help putting on diapers, dealing with wet sheets, or maybe they want to deal with it all themselves privately. At nine years old, they should be starting to have some independence, and it would be wrong to "baby" them. But every child is different. The point is that you should be focussing on
their needs and what's best for them, not... projecting your own wishes onto them.
You can't just (always) dictate your will to somebody (even your own child). You need to give them choices and involve them in the decision-making process. That's how they learn to debate and make mature, sensible decisions as an adult.
I'm not saying you can't put your foot down. Doing nothing and ruining the mattress and bedding is not an option. But... you can't just be a dictator. You earn no trust and respect that way, and without these, you can't be an effective parent.