I want to be “broken“

onecho

"A motorcade of 'meant-to-be's..."
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Babyfur, Little
A big bro who was "fond of four-wheeled vehicles," perhaps, or am I stretching an old memory over a newer event? (I'm a bunny with an elephant's memory, for better or worse.) In any case, I'm really glad your intentions were more benign than suicide, and I'm also glad you had somebody there to pick you up--literally and in other ways. Indeed, I totally get the appeal. If it can be reproduced without controlled substances, it has my full endorsement. :) But, in all seriousness, I think we'd all like a bit of letting go. I'm not sure exactly the form I'd want it to take, and I'd probably prefer that it didn't involve resigning myself to using a padlocked diaper, but to a great extent, the ends justify the means. I won't judge. There's a BDSM stereotype of a CEO who likes to be tied up and spanked after hours. And I think there's a bit of that (or more) in all of us, metaphorically speaking.
No your memory works just fine ☺ You know exactly who I’m referring to.

I’m just trying to figure it all out. We all are. Some days are better than others. I hope with the alteration to my living routine, I’ll be able to regress again and release the pressure valve more often than I have.

I can’t go back through this a third time, though. I need to learn to be comfortable with myself. I suppose I’m gonna be one zany four-year-old bachelor from here on out. 😉
 

sbmccue

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I think giving control to someone else is the 'relaxation' component in AB play. I don't think, however, that being 'forced' to live as a baby or toddler is something many would actually enjoy. This sort of treatment might work well as a fantasy, but the reality is really quite different.

Years ago, I found myself in a situation where I essentially 'had' to let women stay in control and care for me for 60 hours straight. I was never so anxious for a weekend to end in in my life! The baths and bottles were nice, and I enjoyed being dressed, fed and changed. But there's a wealth of time that typically passes between those events during the course of a long weekend, and I found it interminable.

Nowadays, I enjoy 'letting go' for 3 or 4 hours. It's hard for me to do much more than that. I'm such a 'take-charge' person in my adult life that I find it difficult to relinquish control for very long.

Your mileage may vary, of course, but be careful what you wish for! Had I not had the weekend interlude years ago, I might still think as you do. I learned a lot about myself and what I can tolerate ... and more importantly, what I cannot handle even short-term.
 

onecho

"A motorcade of 'meant-to-be's..."
Est. Contributor
Messages
1,760
Role
Babyfur, Little
I think giving control to someone else is the 'relaxation' component in AB play. I don't think, however, that being 'forced' to live as a baby or toddler is something many would actually enjoy. This sort of treatment might work well as a fantasy, but the reality is really quite different.

Years ago, I found myself in a situation where I essentially 'had' to let women stay in control and care for me for 60 hours straight. I was never so anxious for a weekend to end in in my life! The baths and bottles were nice, and I enjoyed being dressed, fed and changed. But there's a wealth of time that typically passes between those events during the course of a long weekend, and I found it interminable.

Nowadays, I enjoy 'letting go' for 3 or 4 hours. It's hard for me to do much more than that. I'm such a 'take-charge' person in my adult life that I find it difficult to relinquish control for very long.

Your mileage may vary, of course, but be careful what you wish for! Had I not had the weekend interlude years ago, I might still think as you do. I learned a lot about myself and what I can tolerate ... and more importantly, what I cannot handle even short-term.
I can’t argue with any of the points you make. I’m really the same type in that I always am in control and have a take-charge mindset. The thing is, I’m tired of being constantly in that mode. It’s as though my anxiety drives me to that.

I would be totally happy with having that control taken from me for a few hours a week. Ideally, I would go over to my momma’s, and maybe on a Saturday night, for a few hours, I’d be in that role. Then, Sunday rolls around, I’d wake up to hugs, a change, and then things would be a normal, ‘hey, we’re friends hanging out’ mode.

I totally agree, though, that I would never want this full-time. I thought I wanted to be little 24/7/365, but through experience, I realized it wasn’t for me. I needed balance, and just as much as there can be too little control over one’s decisions, I feel like I’m always living at where other end all the time. Just wanting to be dragged to more of the middle, and preferably by my momma. :)
 
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