I told my caregivers about my AB desires

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CPDude

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I told my caregivers about my AB desires and they were rather accepting. They have seen me struggle more recently with things I used to do, so when I told them how I feel, they asked me what they can do. We decided the easiest way they can help me is hand feed me in addition to the other support they have been giving me for years.

I was happily shocked when my aide and I were in Panera and she proceeded to put a bib on me and spoon feed me soup in the restaurant. It felt wonderful to be treated this way
 

Tyger

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Wow, must be pretty good people to be willing to do that for you :)
 

Snivy

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I told my caregivers about my AB desires and they were rather accepting. They have seen me struggle more recently with things I used to do, so when I told them how I feel, they asked me what they can do. We decided the easiest way they can help me is hand feed me in addition to the other support they have been giving me for years.

I was happily shocked when my aide and I were in Panera and she proceeded to put a bib on me and spoon feed me soup in the restaurant. It felt wonderful to be treated this way

That's terrific that you feel this way! Must be exciting!
 

dogboy

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I'm happy that his has brought you some comfort and I hope it continues. We all find ways to cope with the things that life throws at us. Tomorrow my wife and I see the surgeon who amputated the front part of her foot. I'm hoping he will be pleased as to how it looks. If he feels it's going in the wrong direction, he may suggest amputation below the knee. That's what we've been dealing with for the past three to four weeks.

We cope in our own ways: going out to eat, reading and listening to music, and me in diapers at night. She's sensitive to that and will baby me to some smaller degree. Knowing how difficult life can be, it's sometimes the small things that mean so much.
 

Ghost01

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I told my caregivers about my AB desires and they were rather accepting. They have seen me struggle more recently with things I used to do, so when I told them how I feel, they asked me what they can do. We decided the easiest way they can help me is hand feed me in addition to the other support they have been giving me for years.

I was happily shocked when my aide and I were in Panera and she proceeded to put a bib on me and spoon feed me soup in the restaurant. It felt wonderful to be treated this way

Wow, it's great!! I'm so happy for you!! Enjoy!

Knowing how difficult life can be, it's sometimes the small things that mean so much.

So true...
 

CPDude

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hand feeding me has happened every meal since I told them of my ab desires. I have been fed in public several times now. I think sitting in my wheelchair, most people dont think twice about it. It has made my life easier, and I am happily one big step closer to being the baby I always knew I was
 

Tyger

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Yeah, that would make it way easier for people not to even question it. I think that is awesome that your care givers realize that this is something that can make you happy, and since you are not able to really reach for it yourself as easily, they are willing to help you feel like a baby. Makes me feel happy to know that there are good people in the world.
 
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BrandonSleepypuppy

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Okay, so congrats on finding the courage to admit your deepest thoughts and put all your
troubles aside, however be EXTREMELY EXTREMELY CAREFUL!!!!! You may like the weird looks
that people give you, but some consider this as expeditionism and others have kids in the
area which may be frightened or confused. I speak from experience when I say be careful
what you do in public, no matter the rush. It is best to do it alone one on one, but do
what you must and what you decide, just know the concequences before you do, it isnt
impressing anyone but yourself. If you feel shakily nervous, then its best if you mabey
kick it down a notch,

OTHERWISE WITH THAT SAID, CONGRATS:bedtime:
 

SpAzpieSweeTot

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Umm... Okay, no. The man has Cerebral Palsy. Depending on the severity, type, & subtype, feeding oneself is a total ass-pain, & in a few cases, dangerous. Only a complete putz; yeah, I said it, putz, would look funny at a disabled man using a wheelchair for needing to be fed. That would include parents with small kids.

That being said, CPDude, be double dang sure you keep your own home, if you have it, because if you end up in some, "home," somewhere, & they find out you're AB, they may not understand. They may think you're retarded. (Diagnosis, not slur) If they do THEY WILL LET YOU ROT. Maybe I'm paranoid. Also, being fed creeps me the heck out. Only in the hospital, & only a loving partner who sees me as a competent adult, who is his baby not a defective or a baby.

Additionally, snoopy government folks accustomed to dealing with us CP people, really don't know the difference in AB need for diapers, & medical need because of physical disability or mental defect. I don't have to tell you most people out of the loop on CP think we're stupid as rocks anyway. I'm terrified to get any diapers, partly because of childhood threats, & trauma involving them, but also because of sh** snoopy government people have the power to do that I'm powerless to stop. Maybe if you told them it was just a weird hobby, but would you be believed, or would they say you were a poor dear who couldn't grasp his own needs & take away your freedom. One of my friends has a traumatic brain injury. He was scared they'd put him in a, "home," & schedule him until they weened him off his nighttime diaper, if he told them he wet most nights. He was lucky to go home.
 
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Sulqy117

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This is the kind of thing Im looking forward to when I start working, Im almost done with my nurse assistant course and it includes home health, which I assume is what OP's caregiver is. I had a feeling that this was a rewarding career, but after my clinical hours it has sunk in just how grateful people are and how fulfilling it is to help people feel better. Im glad you have someone who looks out for you OP, Im looking forward to the day I find a client who's into ABDL stuff.
 

CPDude

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I do live at home with my aides. I have been getting diapers from Medicaid for most of my life now. 250 a month. I have extra. My aides hand feed me now as I mentioned and making it permanent is very easy. The agency I get services through has already updated the DDP2 form changing feeding self from a 2 to a 1. (5 is completely independent). Once its filed and that change becomes part of my care plan it will stay that way permanently. I'm in a good agency, and I am treated well. I am not the only one in the agency who is hand fed. My aides consider it a very minor change that makes caring for me a bit easier. Before when I tried to feed myself, things had to be placed in front of me, served to me and cut up for me. then it would take me half an hour to eat 10 bites and I would drop 2-3. Then my face and hands would need washed after every meal. Very commonly I will need a diaper change right after a meal too
 

Rezzu

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That sounds nice :) How about the clothing and all? Do you have a change to wear ab-stylish clothes (i.e. onsies) around the place?
 

CPDude

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No, but indoors I rarely wear more then a diaper and t-shirt and bib. Makes it easy on my aides to know when I need a change. And it's easy for me to go back to playing with my toys after a change
 

Rezzu

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Oh, so you´ll can play with babbytoys or what kind of toys you have? :) How they´ll react about using adult paci or do you have any pacifiers?
 

Kiyo

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That's great that your caregivers accepted your AB side easily, congratulations.
 
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Eldridge99

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Congratulations CPDude! So glad that they were openminded enough to do it. Kind of makes the statement "You don't know until you ask" very important here.
 

Bigbabybret

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Grea!

I have a TBI, bad foot, back, shoulder, and other issues, I try to stay out of wheelchair as much as I can...and doing my own stuff as much as I can too...and my gf (nurse as well) say I push it too much! But that's alway been my personality...

As for feeding, this actually came up a little while ago...

We were out at IKEA...yes in my wheelchair...as there is no way I'd make it myself anyhow!

But, we went to get dinner there...and my gf laughed and mentioned feeding me, I said no...but, I doubt anyone would have batted an eye anyhow...

But, she used to manage a group home for the state and it was normal to help or feed people...

I can do it myself without too much mess...but in my wheelchair it's not as easy as in bed though...my right arm isn't that good, and I'm right handed...without much to rest on it was much more difficult and took a few extra napkins...I'm thinking of getting the tray for my convaid that might help out much more that I thought...tables at restaurants aren't great with the chair...

I'm glad your getting good people and getting what you need...I'm so reliant on my gf if it wasn't for her I'd need outside help for sure...

P.S. I don't know if it's any issue doing something out of the norm if it is easier on the people doing the work...

Come on, just because someone thinks it looks different shouldn't override the fact that my back just doesn't work well in a non reclined wheelchair and hurts like crazy, or I have to wear my full back and neck brace, which is more hassle and then I really can't feed myself...I'm more comfortable in the convaid, and it's easier on my caregiver...hell I can't even do much of anything in that godawful brace...

Just cuz something looks a bit more out of the norm shouldn't matter if there is any benefit for the disabled...

I'm officially fully disabled, and if the convaid is the most comfortable option, I'm using it...I'm just glad I found one at a decent price in good shape...

Now, using a convaid if your totally normal may be another story...but who would know that...now with me, I've got huge bumps on my head from trauma, bit not everyone has signs you can see...

Now kids are curious, and I see them looking sometimes, and that's fine, they will see people in wheelchairs and such at some point, parents need to just explain to them sometimes people need aids to get around, even fed...

Anyhow, my two cents!
 
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