I think I will resort to being a pirate!

Status
Not open for further replies.
F

FullMetal

Guest
With these hard economic times, there is not much to hope for. The unemployment rate is 8%, the banks are failing, and Obama doesn't seem to want to give me a bailout. I have decided to try a different path, one filled with adventure and booty, and I am not talking about trying for Moo's butt, once was enough. I mean pirating!

Ah yes, the fine life of a pirate. Think they don't exist, well think again! Pirates are still alive and well, making ends meet the pirate way. Sadly, pirating has changed over the years...and I know when I think of pirates, I think of Johnny Depp and his crazy eyeliner and seemingly bad hygiene. But, no, pirating has changed just a tad (from the...movies.) Pirates, due to the economic difficulties, now (and always but I will say now to drama it up,) resort to taking over other ships, massacring innocent (whatever that means) people and taking their loot or, what they like to refer to it as, booty, which I do not care how immature it makes me, I laugh at the word.

Anyway, pirates, not like the economy, seem to be doing pretty well...other than some of the being prosecuted for their Kenya stunts, they grossed about 15 billion dollars this year...which begs the question why they can't give me a bail out...but they are too busy to answer my phone calls.

So, they kill people? So, they rob people? So they go to random boats and take hostages for ransom? Doesn't sound too different from American politicians.

Anyway, if you are looking for a job, because you lost yours due to this financial crisis, there is always room for piracy, a life of adventure and fun...and murder and destruction.

FullMetal
 
Tsendo

Tsendo

Messages
531
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
15888381
 
Fire2box

Fire2box

Est. Contributor
Messages
10,934
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
FullMetal said:
My first mate must be at least good at some, if not most, of my most desired sexual explorations, and I just don't think you have it in you.
Click to expand...

Then what the hell does the Cabin Boy do then?
 
F

Falkio

Guest
First mate Starbuck reporting for duty, sir! Second mate Stubb, and third mate Ishmael are also happy to assist you.

So, where's that white whale? *grins*
 
h3g3l

h3g3l

Messages
3,351
Role
  1. Private
Fire2box said:
Then what the hell does the Cabin Boy do then?
Click to expand...

The First Mate, of course.

And we do still have piracy. Only you need money to start (just like pirates of old). And we call it "ponzi schemes" now.
 
cation

cation

Contributor
Messages
111
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  4. Carer
Fatten the Batches, mizzen the mast, poop the deck, a sailors life for me ... AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!
 
Tsendo

Tsendo

Messages
531
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
"They wed the most beautiful girls; they are building big houses; they have new cars; new guns"
--Abdi Farah Juha resident of Garowe, Somalia on Pirates.
 
EvaIlyxtra

EvaIlyxtra

Est. Contributor
Messages
3,055
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Sissy
  4. Other
  5. Private
Good luck. I would say if that was actually a possibility then I would suggest the west African coast. Don't go into the carribean.
 
FluffyFluffers

FluffyFluffers

Est. Contributor
Messages
3,028
Role
  1. Babyfur
  2. Sissy
ajsco said:
I am very good with rifles - Do you need a sniper?
Click to expand...

:D So am I took me two-three shots to get my airsoft rifle to hit a can at 150 feet or so. With no scope First time in so long I have not used a scope. (7 years.)
 
Thallis

Thallis

Est. Contributor
Messages
606
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Babyfur
  3. Sissy
I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine,
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But times were hard and though I tried, the money wasn't there
And the bankers came and took my land and told me "fair is fair"

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go!"
The government, the promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum.

Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?
I'm gonna be a PIRATE on the river Saskatchewan!

And it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!

A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a'quiver
Cause they know that Captain Tractor's hidin' in the bay
I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!

And it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He followed on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat
But cutbacks were a'coming and the Mountie lost his job
So now he's sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob!

A swingin' sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (SCREW IT!!)
Sailin down to Saskatoon, the terror of the seas
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty dog!)
(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty gopher!)
(*spoken* Arr.. ya.. salty bale of hay!)
Well, Pirate life's appealing but you just don't find it here,
I hear in North Alberta there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
And you're gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way!

Well, winter is a'comin' and a chill is in the breeze
My Pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
I'll be back in springtime but now I have to go
I hear there's lots of plunderin' down in New Mexico!

Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores...x2

When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores...x2
 
dogboy

dogboy

Est. Contributor
Messages
21,951
Role
  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
Thallis, you stole my plunder, err I mean thunder. I was going to say I wanted to be a pirate on the James River, which runs near my house. It's too shallow to support anything with a larger motor, so I will have to canoe, robbing and plundering from those fishing for carp along the shore. Arrrg!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top