I probably made myself functionally incontinent - and I regret it

Fabpad

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Diaper Lover, Little
I've been measuring my urine output and frequency for the past week to get a sense of the severity of my problem. The conclusions i've made is that my bladder feels full at around 100 ml - 200 ml and I have to pee about once an hour. If I jump around like a kiddo I can hold mysel to 400 ml but i've also peed myself at that point. My bladder has become fully autonomous and contracts to empty on its own. If I have a diaper I don't have to breathe/relax like I used to do in order to pee. The bladder pushes the urine out reflexively like a baby. My ABDL side of me is obviously excited about this because i'm finally a diaper dependent baby, but it's affected my life quite severely the past year.

I can no longer function without diapers and i'm debating whether to start with pull ups in order to retrain my bladder. I'll also visit the doctor soon to see what I can do to regain my continence. As of right now when i've had oral examinations in the university i've had to excuse myself to the bathroom three (!) times (during a 2h period) which obviously raised suspicions and laughter among both friends and professors.
I believe this is all self inflected injuries from years of foley catheters and diapers that has trained my bladder to reflexively contract, diminished its capacity and weakened my sphincters.

I cannot continue without diapers in my daily life now and it sucks. I hope you guys think twice before wanting incontinence / functional incontinence as its something i've always wanted but now i'm sad that I can't live my life without fear of being far away from a bathroom.


Has anyone been in a similar position and have successfully regained control? I tried kegel exercises and holding until I almost peed myself for two weeks but no improvements :(
I hope someone has any advice.
 

MarcusP

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Incontinent
I had several surgeries on my urethra/sphincters which left me incontinent. I'm fairly sure that with great effort I could have regained some control. However I did not even try. It has been my dream to be in diapers since I was very young. Now after 12 years of letting go, I have less control than ever. The feeling of peeing uncontrollably at any moment is an amazing feeling, even after all this time. More and more it catches me off guard, and I only realize it after the flow starts. It is nice to not have any thoughts or feelings of my bladder. For me, I do not regret it. If it is possible, I like diapers more now than 12 years ago.

I understand that many people dislike being dependent on diapers. Some of us actually love it though. If there was a magic fix for me, I would not take it. Even if I was forced to take it, I would continue wearing diapers 24/7. My life became complete once I became diaper dependent. Before that, I was not happy and spent WAY too much time fantasizing about it. Now I am living my fantasy, and can spend my thoughts and time on other things in life. Diapers are just part of my routine, and do not hold me back from much anything. I have no shame or fear of anyone finding out. Sometimes I have catastrophic leaks, but they make me laugh not cry. My friends and family all know and are cool with it. Some friends tease me in a good way and we laugh. Some of my bondage buddies even wear them during scenes. I find that if I don't act ashamed and totally own it, others treat it as normal.

If you haven't got damage to your system, you can easily regain control by reversing your behavior. Practice holding your pee longer and longer. Even with both of my sphincters cut, I can hold it back for a while, and I bet with enough determination and practice I could get by with a pad or less. The difference is I don't want to even try. Perhaps you don't want to either. You had to work pretty hard to get where you are, but it is reversible. I don't have any sympathy for people like you, because you did it to yourself. I also want no sympathy for me because I am happy as can be and would not change anything. In other words, no regrets.
 

Calico

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I wonder why this is a concern for you? Is it because you can't afford to wear diapers 24/7?
 

Fabpad

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I had several surgeries on my urethra/sphincters which left me incontinent. I'm fairly sure that with great effort I could have regained some control. However I did not even try. It has been my dream to be in diapers since I was very young. Now after 12 years of letting go, I have less control than ever. The feeling of peeing uncontrollably at any moment is an amazing feeling, even after all this time. More and more it catches me off guard, and I only realize it after the flow starts. It is nice to not have any thoughts or feelings of my bladder. For me, I do not regret it. If it is possible, I like diapers more now than 12 years ago.

I understand that many people dislike being dependent on diapers. Some of us actually love it though. If there was a magic fix for me, I would not take it. Even if I was forced to take it, I would continue wearing diapers 24/7. My life became complete once I became diaper dependent. Before that, I was not happy and spent WAY too much time fantasizing about it. Now I am living my fantasy, and can spend my thoughts and time on other things in life. Diapers are just part of my routine, and do not hold me back from much anything. I have no shame or fear of anyone finding out. Sometimes I have catastrophic leaks, but they make me laugh not cry. My friends and family all know and are cool with it. Some friends tease me in a good way and we laugh. Some of my bondage buddies even wear them during scenes. I find that if I don't act ashamed and totally own it, others treat it as normal.

If you haven't got damage to your system, you can easily regain control by reversing your behavior. Practice holding your pee longer and longer. Even with both of my sphincters cut, I can hold it back for a while, and I bet with enough determination and practice I could get by with a pad or less. The difference is I don't want to even try. Perhaps you don't want to either. You had to work pretty hard to get where you are, but it is reversible. I don't have any sympathy for people like you, because you did it to yourself. I also want no sympathy for me because I am happy as can be and would not change anything. In other words, no regrets.
I did it to myself but it took so many years and it's been such a slow progress (unintentional progress) that it never occured to me what was changing. The small changes in continence like needing to go more frequent didn't pose a problem in the beginning as I just adapted. If i'd had to track my changes in time i'd say it first started with frequency (diminished capacity) then came urgency (ability to hold it, probably due to weakened sphincters) and now the last year bladder automatically contracting at only 100-200 ml (causing me to pee myself if I don't find a toilet quickly). So the final result is that I have to go to the bathroom every 1-2h.

But I do want to try to get better, because right now it's limiting my daily life.

I wonder why this is a concern for you? Is it because you can't afford to wear diapers 24/7?
Because i'm 20-35 years old and never worn diapers before. If my friends find out I wear diapers all of a sudden I wouldn't have any way to explain myself. Normally a person that isn't ABDL would simply go to the doctor and get treated rather than choosing diapers. People my age don't wear diapers normally and all of a sudden. If they do wear, it's usually something congenital/traumatic and their friends would've known already
 

TiggyCat

An orange tabby cat furry.
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I had several surgeries on my urethra/sphincters which left me incontinent. I'm fairly sure that with great effort I could have regained some control. However I did not even try. It has been my dream to be in diapers since I was very young. Now after 12 years of letting go, I have less control than ever. The feeling of peeing uncontrollably at any moment is an amazing feeling, even after all this time. More and more it catches me off guard, and I only realize it after the flow starts. It is nice to not have any thoughts or feelings of my bladder. For me, I do not regret it. If it is possible, I like diapers more now than 12 years ago.

I understand that many people dislike being dependent on diapers. Some of us actually love it though. If there was a magic fix for me, I would not take it. Even if I was forced to take it, I would continue wearing diapers 24/7. My life became complete once I became diaper dependent. Before that, I was not happy and spent WAY too much time fantasizing about it. Now I am living my fantasy, and can spend my thoughts and time on other things in life. Diapers are just part of my routine, and do not hold me back from much anything. I have no shame or fear of anyone finding out. Sometimes I have catastrophic leaks, but they make me laugh not cry. My friends and family all know and are cool with it. Some friends tease me in a good way and we laugh. Some of my bondage buddies even wear them during scenes. I find that if I don't act ashamed and totally own it, others treat it as normal.

If you haven't got damage to your system, you can easily regain control by reversing your behavior. Practice holding your pee longer and longer. Even with both of my sphincters cut, I can hold it back for a while, and I bet with enough determination and practice I could get by with a pad or less. The difference is I don't want to even try. Perhaps you don't want to either. You had to work pretty hard to get where you are, but it is reversible. I don't have any sympathy for people like you, because you did it to yourself. I also want no sympathy for me because I am happy as can be and would not change anything. In other words, no regrets.
I just wanted to say how great an attitude you have and I'm so glad wearing and going uncontrollably feels so good for you. You list yourself as Incontinent but you are a DL too. I only wear when I'm in the mood to or I feel it will help me relax more. It is very nice when I do. I'm also happy with the way I am.

You said you sometimes have "catastrophic leaks." Does that happen because you maybe had to go more or is the diaper maybe to blame? Which one(s) do you use? Just curious.
 

TiggyCat

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I did it to myself but it took so many years and it's been such a slow progress (unintentional progress) that it never occured to me what was changing. The small changes in continence like needing to go more frequent didn't pose a problem in the beginning as I just adapted. If i'd had to track my changes in time i'd say it first started with frequency (diminished capacity) then came urgency (ability to hold it, probably due to weakened sphincters) and now the last year bladder automatically contracting at only 100-200 ml (causing me to pee myself if I don't find a toilet quickly). So the final result is that I have to go to the bathroom every 1-2h.

But I do want to try to get better, because right now it's limiting my daily life.



Because i'm 20-35 years old and never worn diapers before. If my friends find out I wear diapers all of a sudden I wouldn't have any way to explain myself. Normally a person that isn't ABDL would simply go to the doctor and get treated rather than choosing diapers. People my age don't wear diapers normally and all of a sudden. If they do wear, it's usually something congenital/traumatic and their friends would've known already
I understand you've never worn before but you list yourself as a Diaper Lover you do like it, right? Or did? I don't see why it matters what age you are or that you suddenly need them. Many things, even seemly minor accident falling or anything if it hits the right spot can cause damage so someone would need diapers all of the sudden. There are also medical conditions that you can get at any age to cause that. If your friends are real friends they'll understand.

If you want to retrain and such I'm sure you can but if you can't it's not going to limit you since as I said diapers shouldn't be a problem.

Just my thoughts.
 

Fabpad

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I understand you've never worn before but you list yourself as a Diaper Lover you do like it, right? Or did? I don't see why it matters what age you are or that you suddenly need them. Many things, even seemly minor accident falling or anything if it hits the right spot can cause damage so someone would need diapers all of the sudden. There are also medical conditions that you can get at any age to cause that. If your friends are real friends they'll understand.

If you want to retrain and such I'm sure you can but if you can't it's not going to limit you since as I said diapers shouldn't be a problem.

Just my thoughts.
Whoops, I meant to write that i've never worn diapers before around my friends so if i'd suddenly start, that would raise suspicions. The age matters because it's so extremely rare to wear diapers at this age and generally people would rather choose foley catheters.

Problem is i'm in medschool and if i'd say i've become incontinent I'd get showered with questions and advice. Minor accident such as falling on the sacrum doesn't really lead to incontinence unless you're old and have osteoporosis. It's more common in high energy impacts such as vehicle collisions though.

My point is that I can't just make up a story like that.
 

Ehorton

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234
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
Hey there- I can relate to what your saying. I would wear diapers on and off for a vast majority of my life. In 2017 I started wearing on a much more consistent basis. I ended up with a UTI and didn’t think much of it. Ended up in the hospital as I couldn’t urinate at all. After that I thought all was okay and I returned to wearing diapers on and off. In July or August of 2017 I began wearing basically all the time. I used just like a baby. When I felt an urge I never held back. In October I started noticing I was dripping quite a bit. Especially when I changed. Those drips turned into accidents. One in particular I remember. I was undiapered and I just started peeing all over myself. That sent me to the dr and I went through 6 months of testing and hoping I wasn’t confined to diapers. After all the test and thousands of dollars the drs said I was incontitent and there was nothing they could do to fix it. That was in May 2018 and been in diapers ever since. I’m young like you. Mid thirties and while it can be hard it’s not life ending. Just takes more planning.
 

MarcusP

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Incontinent
Youu said you sometimes have "catastrophic leaks." Does that happen because you maybe had to go more or is the diaper maybe to blame? Which one(s) do you use? Just curious.
Oh, I am totally to blame. I wear premium Confidrys 95% of the time. I usually get catastrophic leaks when drinking alcohol and I forget about my diaper because I am having fun. We host a lot of parties and get togethers and after a few drinks, I get caught up in socializing and before I know it I feel pee running down my legs. By that point the diaper is completely saturated and whatever is left in my bladder I cannot stop the flow until it is mostly empty. If I try to move, it leaks worse and starts getting into my shoes. My partner/caregiver should probably try harder to check my status, but he is also having fun and forgets. There has been more than one time where I literally have to stop moving and spread my legs so I don't keep leaking all over, and call for him to bring me the clean up kit and a diaper changing items. This has happened in front of friends more than a few times. Luckily they just laugh and chide me for not paying attention. My gay best friend even keeps an eye on me when I have a bit too much to drink and checks my diaper to help prevent blow outs.
 

SometimesAdult

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This is all very complicated. I have gone through several lengthy periods of diaper use as an adult. Sometimes, nearly 24/7. I did so for 6months a few years back, and quit cold turkey. I started up again a month ago, and it has taken over my life. I am completely obsessed. I am going through a binge cycle of diapers, and have way too many. I am only out of them a couple of hours a day, and go freely in the, the rest of the day. My experience is that while it is possible to make yourself functionaally incontinent if you let yourself completely go, it is also possible to retrain yourself when and if you want to remain in control. Wearing a diaper can actually make it harder to retrain because it can trigger the physical impulse to go.

Our bladders shrink when we don’t call on them to do their job. But, just like a couch potato who can go to the gym and get in shape, we often can retrain a bladder if there are no other complications. There are some techniques that can be found on line if that is whet you want. You have to want it, but this is sort of like trying to get off drugs. Motivation waxes and wanes, and recidivism is high.

As for me, I am having a lot of different feelings about my current state of affairs. I get a total vicarious pleasure, not sexual, from wearing and using. 2 years ago, my shrink freaked out when I told her about this, and she wanted me on meds. I wanted her to learn more about the lifestyle, but she refused. She discussed me in a case conference where the opinions were that it was at least bizarre and possibly psychotic behavior, without knowing me or learning about the community. I am afraid to tell her about it now because I know that she will not have an open mind. The truth is that I am getting isolated, it is a bad secret to keep because it feels deviant, and while I like wearing them, I am less happy.

For me, it feels like this will always be with me. I will stop and start as I need to. I know what triggers it. I am hoping to get bored soon so I can get back to my normal routine. For me, all the satisfaction will go away when I no longer have the choice. So I need to try not to go too far. Best of luck to those who are navigating through this.

Any thoughts?
 
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SorcerorElf

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She discussed me in a case conference where the opinions were that it was at least bizarre and possibly psychotic behavior, without knowing me or learning about the community. I am afraid to tell her about it now because I know that she will not have an open mind.
That does not sound like a good psychologist. ABDL is obviously unusual, but not "deviant" in a bad way. Anyone familiar with ABDL would know that.
 
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KiwiBoi

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I am also medically qualified, although not a specialist yet.
It certainly sounds like you're suffering from symptoms of urge incontinence. To start with, keep a voiding diary of how much you void, and the intervals. Also cut out all caffeine from your diet including tea and coffee. This will help relax the bladder.
Next, you need to try interval training, and combine this with kegels or pelvic floor exercises.
It is important to note that many medical professionals forget to mention that these exercises, and interval training, take weeks to months to become effective. As such your fortnight is barely starting to show any benefit.
Keep up the good work.
If people ask, say you're suffering from anxiety related urge incontinence, and that you're undergoing treatment for it and have a plan. You'd be surprised at how common urge and stress incontinence actually are, even in females of your age.
Instead of using diapers or pullups I would recommend using maxi pads made for moderate bladder leakage.
I would also recommend seeing a urologist and discussing the above with them.

From what it sounds like I'm gathering you're a pre clinical med student - keep up the good work, it does get better! Unfortunately the oral exams get worse though haha 😂
 

ltaluv

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165
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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
ABDL is classed as a paraphilia, which is generally regarded by psychologists as not a problem unless it's causing you distress. Get a new psychologist.

If your urologist has told you after a few months of tests that there's nothing they can do to fix it, get another urologist.

OP, having incontinence issues at any age is not extremely rare - in fact it's not rare at all. If anyone asks, you can tell them that it's none of their concern, or you can tell them that it's overactive bladder. That is a very common problem, and will cause exactly the sorts of problems you're having. In face, it's likely that your problems are not caused by your own actions at all, but by a medical problem for which you should see a urologist.

Some of what's on this thread doesn't make any sense from a medical point of view.
 

Slomo

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
It sounds like you're at a serious crossroad right now. Being a dl you want to be fully diaper dependent, yet at the same time you don't want to wear a diaper that remaining 5% of the time. You definitely sound like you've nearly become incontinent too, already with those urges and diminished control.

Getting to this point took you the better part of a year. Re-potty training isn't going to happen in just a few short weeks. It can take anywhere from a few months to a few years. And even then it's possible you may never reach a true 100% continence. A cheap depends pullup (or pad) would be the way to go IF you're serious about retraining. And yeah you'll have to practice holding it as long as you can, every single time.

On the other hand, you are nearly there acheiving incontinence. It may have been unintentional to get this far, but you must have subconsciously wanted it all along or you wouldn't have gotten this far in the cirst place. The last part of accepting diapers IS admitting to others you need them. And this does seem to be your main sticking point, but from the sounds of things nobody around you is going to be surprised.

Ultimately you will need to make a solid decision on which way to go. OPENLY talking to a therapist about this decision can help wonders too.

Ps. As for the catastrophic leaks, I highly recommend you try out betterdry diapers. They are nearly the same in cos to confidry, yet have a much higher capacity, and have fewer leaks even when completely saturated. Either way, when you plan to go drinking just make sure to also add a booster. It might be a good idea to set a watch or phone timer too, to make sure you change before leaking.
 

Fabpad

Est. Contributor
Messages
47
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Diaper Lover, Little
Hey there- I can relate to what your saying. I would wear diapers on and off for a vast majority of my life. In 2017 I started wearing on a much more consistent basis. I ended up with a UTI and didn’t think much of it. Ended up in the hospital as I couldn’t urinate at all. After that I thought all was okay and I returned to wearing diapers on and off. In July or August of 2017 I began wearing basically all the time. I used just like a baby. When I felt an urge I never held back. In October I started noticing I was dripping quite a bit. Especially when I changed. Those drips turned into accidents. One in particular I remember. I was undiapered and I just started peeing all over myself. That sent me to the dr and I went through 6 months of testing and hoping I wasn’t confined to diapers. After all the test and thousands of dollars the drs said I was incontitent and there was nothing they could do to fix it. That was in May 2018 and been in diapers ever since. I’m young like you. Mid thirties and while it can be hard it’s not life ending. Just takes more planning.
Interesting story. Did you find out the reason for your incontinence? Answer if you feel comfortable.

I am also medically qualified, although not a specialist yet.
It certainly sounds like you're suffering from symptoms of urge incontinence. To start with, keep a voiding diary of how much you void, and the intervals. Also cut out all caffeine from your diet including tea and coffee. This will help relax the bladder.
Next, you need to try interval training, and combine this with kegels or pelvic floor exercises.
It is important to note that many medical professionals forget to mention that these exercises, and interval training, take weeks to months to become effective. As such your fortnight is barely starting to show any benefit.
Keep up the good work.
If people ask, say you're suffering from anxiety related urge incontinence, and that you're undergoing treatment for it and have a plan. You'd be surprised at how common urge and stress incontinence actually are, even in females of your age.
Instead of using diapers or pullups I would recommend using maxi pads made for moderate bladder leakage.
I would also recommend seeing a urologist and discussing the above with them.

From what it sounds like I'm gathering you're a pre clinical med student - keep up the good work, it does get better! Unfortunately the oral exams get worse though haha 😂
Nice to meet a fellow colleague! Are you medically qualified as in physician/nurse/PA?

Thanks for your advice! Yes, i've been keeping a diary for the last two weeks. It's extremely difficult as i'm hyperventilating, jumping around, and can't concentrate on one task for over 20 minutes each 1-2h when i'm trying to retrain my bladder. I'm starting to wonder if it's all futile though since i'm not going to quit this lifestyle of catheters/diaper wearing. Any progress i'll make in the next 2 months is going to be lost anyway.

I don't think I can wear maxi pads because i'm not "leaking" per se, I just need a reserve bladder (thin pull ups) that can save me when I physically can't hold it any longer during exams etc.

No not really, i'm soon to graduate. What I don't look forward to is the 80h work week that i'm soon to experience :p

It sounds like you're at a serious crossroad right now. Being a dl you want to be fully diaper dependent, yet at the same time you don't want to wear a diaper that remaining 5% of the time. You definitely sound like you've nearly become incontinent too, already with those urges and diminished control.

Getting to this point took you the better part of a year. Re-potty training isn't going to happen in just a few short weeks. It can take anywhere from a few months to a few years. And even then it's possible you may never reach a true 100% continence. A cheap depends pullup (or pad) would be the way to go IF you're serious about retraining. And yeah you'll have to practice holding it as long as you can, every single time.

On the other hand, you are nearly there acheiving incontinence. It may have been unintentional to get this far, but you must have subconsciously wanted it all along or you wouldn't have gotten this far in the cirst place. The last part of accepting diapers IS admitting to others you need them. And this does seem to be your main sticking point, but from the sounds of things nobody around you is going to be surprised.

Ultimately you will need to make a solid decision on which way to go. OPENLY talking to a therapist about this decision can help wonders too.

Ps. As for the catastrophic leaks, I highly recommend you try out betterdry diapers. They are nearly the same in cos to confidry, yet have a much higher capacity, and have fewer leaks even when completely saturated. Either way, when you plan to go drinking just make sure to also add a booster. It might be a good idea to set a watch or phone timer too, to make sure you change before leaking.
Thanks for your input!

Getting to this point has been a slow progress for 5+ years actually. So slow I haven't noticed it until it was "too late". I don't think i'll ever reach 100% continence, but as it is right now I can't live my life like I want. I always have to be close to a bathroom. So it would be nice to at least be able to hold myself for 30+ minutes like normal people or to not have to go to the bathroom every 1-2h.

Retraining is really, really, really difficult. Like you say I have to practice holding it every single time I want to pee which takes about 15-20 minutes of just focusing on clenching and other techniques (can't do anything during this period because of how demanding it is). I might have to just wear pull ups every day from now on. I don't wanna wear a normal diaper though and be wet all day around friends. I'm worried about the diaper being seen when swollen and the smells that comes with being wet.
 

Slomo

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I'm worried about the diaper being seen when swollen and the smells that comes with being wet.
If that's all you're worried about then drink plenty of water and wear a high capacity diaper. Your urine will be far less smelly, even with the greater output. As for being seen or found out, tell them in advance and you won't have to worry about it later on (like ripping off a bandaid it's best to just get it over with).
 

Ehorton

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234
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
Interesting story. Did you find out the reason for your incontinence? Answer if you feel comfortable.



Nice to meet a fellow colleague! Are you medically qualified as in physician/nurse/PA?

Thanks for your advice! Yes, i've been keeping a diary for the last two weeks. It's extremely difficult as i'm hyperventilating, jumping around, and can't concentrate on one task for over 20 minutes each 1-2h when i'm trying to retrain my bladder. I'm starting to wonder if it's all futile though since i'm not going to quit this lifestyle of catheters/diaper wearing. Any progress i'll make in the next 2 months is going to be lost anyway.

I don't think I can wear maxi pads because i'm not "leaking" per se, I just need a reserve bladder (thin pull ups) that can save me when I physically can't hold it any longer during exams etc.

No not really, i'm soon to graduate. What I don't look forward to is the 80h work week that i'm soon to experience :p



Thanks for your input!

Getting to this point has been a slow progress for 5+ years actually. So slow I haven't noticed it until it was "too late". I don't think i'll ever reach 100% continence, but as it is right now I can't live my life like I want. I always have to be close to a bathroom. So it would be nice to at least be able to hold myself for 30+ minutes like normal people or to not have to go to the bathroom every 1-2h.

Retraining is really, really, really difficult. Like you say I have to practice holding it every single time I want to pee which takes about 15-20 minutes of just focusing on clenching and other techniques (can't do anything during this period because of how demanding it is). I might have to just wear pull ups every day from now on. I don't wanna wear a normal diaper though and be wet all day around friends. I'm worried about the diaper being seen when swollen and the smells that comes with being wet.
Unfortunately nothing can conclusivile. On my records it states Non-neurogenic neurogenic bladder. They offered surgery as a possible cure but the success rate was at about 40%. I passed and as the possible side effects were too much. I truly wish I just knew why I’m incontitnent. It would make it easier to accept. For me and my wife.
 

ykdprdave

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I’ve been in diapers daily, and probably 75% of the time 24/7 for the last 10+ years

Aside from having to pee constantly, that’s a bit of a pain when i can’t wear. I’ve never once had an issue holding it. But yes, after coming out of 24/7 diapers it takes a good week at least to get back to ‘normal’.

Even after this many years in diapers, I can still hold quite a bit, not that I’ve measured it scientifically, I’m sure it’s a couple hundred ml before I’m ready to explode. Although when 24/7 or just after a stint of 24/7 wearing I get the urge to pee when there’s hardly anything (yet I can still hold a lot)
 

lilran

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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I've been measuring my urine output and frequency for the past week to get a sense of the severity of my problem. The conclusions i've made is that my bladder feels full at around 100 ml - 200 ml and I have to pee about once an hour. If I jump around like a kiddo I can hold mysel to 400 ml but i've also peed myself at that point. My bladder has become fully autonomous and contracts to empty on its own. If I have a diaper I don't have to breathe/relax like I used to do in order to pee. The bladder pushes the urine out reflexively like a baby. My ABDL side of me is obviously excited about this because i'm finally a diaper dependent baby, but it's affected my life quite severely the past year.

I can no longer function without diapers and i'm debating whether to start with pull ups in order to retrain my bladder. I'll also visit the doctor soon to see what I can do to regain my continence. As of right now when i've had oral examinations in the university i've had to excuse myself to the bathroom three (!) times (during a 2h period) which obviously raised suspicions and laughter among both friends and professors.
I believe this is all self inflected injuries from years of foley catheters and diapers that has trained my bladder to reflexively contract, diminished its capacity and weakened my sphincters.

I cannot continue without diapers in my daily life now and it sucks. I hope you guys think twice before wanting incontinence / functional incontinence as its something i've always wanted but now i'm sad that I can't live my life without fear of being far away from a bathroom.


Has anyone been in a similar position and have successfully regained control? I tried kegel exercises and holding until I almost peed myself for two weeks but no improvements :(
I hope someone has any advice.
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I began wearing diapers for OAB and urge issues over 25 years ago. There have been many times that I would just get lazy and wear 24/7 for long periods of time but then decide to try and scale back by using pull-ups until I began regaining control. But the underlying issues never go away so I eventually wound up back diapered 24/7. For my wife and I this just works the best with our active lifestyle.
 
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Fabpad

Est. Contributor
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Diaper Lover, Little
Sounds like you need to find a better diaper


I began wearing diapers for OAB and urge issues over 25 years ago. There have been many times that I would just get lazy and wear 24/7 for long periods of time but then decide to try and scale back by using pull-ups until I began regaining control. But the underlying issues never go away so I eventually wound up back diapered 24/7. For my wife and I this just works the best with our active lifestyle.
Yeah this is what i'm afraid of. Even though you might regain some control, the underlying issues are still there so you always have to go back in diapers either way.

I think I might accept me having to wear pull ups from now on. It's a good middle ground. I retain the control I have left and they are quite thin and not readily noticeable.
 
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