I need some perspective.

[LittleICme]

Thanks for your perspective LittleICme.
Your kids never have been tipped off due to odor or the garbage? Maybe these aren't logically concerns, but I've never dealt with this so this is just one of a long laundry list of concerns.

Always did it, so it was not different.
I take care of the garbage (more due to weight than smell)
I think they have actually seen them in the garbage, but they know I have bladder problems.
I am discrete and dispose promptly (trash detail every day).
I am actually quite surprised how normally it can be incorporated into daily routines.
A bathroom (ie changing) trip in the morning, lunch, evening, and night.

 

[dogboy]

I will not be able to handle my husband wearing a diaper while changing a child in a diaper. I feel like, as you stated, it would interfere with potty training and their cognitive development. Has anyone experienced this first hand?

When my wife and I had children in diapers, I actually had little to no desire to wear diapers. There was something about changing real wet and messy diapers that took the desire away. Once they were older and potty trained, the desire came back, strongly. I had Fridays off whereas my wife worked on Fridays. The kids were in school, so I used Friday while I was cleaning the house as a time to wear and enjoy diapers. By the time they came home, everything was cleaned and put away. It worked for years. There usually are ways to make this work that don't involve the children.

LittleICme is genuinely incontinent so he obviously had no choice, so that's where he's coming from. He makes a good point that kids are resilient and learn to accept a lot of different things, especially when they aren't harmful.

 

[MetalMann]

I'd like to add on that many of us come from different walks of life. There's really nothing much in common that we all share beyond diapers and babyish items. We are rich and poor, big families and small families, doctors to fast food workers.

To get one answer about why, or how, would be like getting an answer to where did humans come from, and the meaning to life. Most of us don't really know "why" we like diapers. It's not appealing to some as they see this as involving children in one way or another.

To some of us, it's sexual, comfort, convenience, reminiscent, and/or many other reasons.

Some here have no interest in sexual activities at all.

Seeing that he likes bondage, most likely he's in to humiliation as well. There could be a whole list of things he'd be in to. You'd be surprised.

 

[ClickyKeys]

I doubt it would interfere, there are plenty of people like me out there that are incontinent and have not choice but to wear diapers, there doesn't seem to be a rash of kids out there with toilet training issues because of their incontinent parents.

 

[bambinod]

heh... it just occurs to me.... "soooo, I'm banned from diaper duty if I'm wearing a diaper myself? (checks another box on his "reasons I wear a diaper" list)"

 

[cm90210]

I will not be able to handle my husband wearing a diaper while changing a child in a diaper. I feel like, as you stated, it would interfere with potty training and their cognitive development. Has anyone experienced this first hand?

My wife and I have 2 kids. We worked out an agreement for me to wear before they came along. In our case I was the one who is the most worried about issues coming up around changing diapers. My wife, for her part, didn't think it would be an issue at all. I guess my biggest concern was that diapers I had always had somewhat of a sexual turn on component for me, and I was terrified of me having similar reactions to my own kids in diapers. Sorry if this is triggering or offensive but I'm just sharing my real fears. As it turned out the instant I held my first boy and my arms in the hospital, I knew all of my worries we're completely unfounded. This has continued to be true. Taking care of my kids diapers is an entirely different thing in an entirely different category than me and my wife playing with adult ones in the bedroom. There is just no overlap, at least in my life. I actually expressed this fear to a therapist before having our kids and the therapist believed it would be a non-issue as well. He turned out to be absolutely correct.

Since our kids are now little children, my diaper wearing is cordoned off to alone time, sexy time with my wife, bedroom, etc. when I am with my kids, the diapers they put away hidden and locked actually. I do have lingering fears about them finding diapers which seems inevitable as they grow older and more curious. My plan for when that comes is simply to tell them that daddy needs them sometimes, that it is private. And not to go into too much detail beyond that. I can imagine talking about it with them in more detail when they are adults or much older teenagers if they were to request it, but my wife and I are both very sensitive to sexual scarring because of our own experiences with it.

Anyways the truth of the matter is that because my need for diapers is psychological and not physiological, I do have some choice about when and where I wear them. The arrangement we have made in our family is to do our very best to keep that private and away from our kids. Which seems like a reasonable plan for this stage in life. I hope you are able to find a workable system that both you and your partner can compromise on and have peace with. I don't know if you'll ever understand "why" - in my case I've done a lot of therapy and so I know a lot of the background behind mine. This I think is really helped my wife. But it's also incredibly hard work and not everybody wants to dig into their emotions and passed because of that.


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[cm90210]

Sorry if some of this is unintelligible. I dictated it on my phone. Thanks Siri.


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[Gettingoverthefear]

I am over 60 and have had sexual arousal from diapers since 12 years of age. Why, I don't know. My wife and I have been married for 33 years. I don't think it has harmed our relationship. When our children were babies, I had no sexual attraction to them or their diapers. When I worked in church nurseries as parents are often asked to do, I had no sexual arousal from changing diapers. As far as I am concerned, I think it is much easier for a spouse than dealing with a husband that is aroused by traditional pornography. The urge does go through peaks and valleys. If you would like to talk more, I would welcome it. I do think Adisc is a good place for an intelligent discussion of this issue.

 

[bambinod]

Since our kids are now little children, my diaper wearing is cordoned off to alone time, sexy time with my wife, bedroom, etc. when I am with my kids, the diapers they put away hidden and locked actually. I do have lingering fears about them finding diapers which seems inevitable as they grow older and more curious. My plan for when that comes is simply to tell them that daddy needs them sometimes, that it is private. And not to go into too much detail beyond that. I can imagine talking about it with them in more detail when they are adults or much older teenagers if they were to request it, but my wife and I are both very sensitive to sexual scarring because of our own experiences with it.

Yep, kids are curious and it's pretty much inevitable that they're going to eventually find out. It's smart to figure out in advance how you're going to handle it, it'll make it a lot easier to deal with when it finally happens.

 

[DLScottsman]

I wear for need as much as pleasure. My 4 year old potty trained fine with seeing me in a diaper. My wife and I I never hid the fact that I have a reason to wear. I keep my cuter diapers out of sight. My wife will wear if I ask not because she likes them but because she knows I like her in them.

 

[WildBlueCrinkle]

I'm sorry, but I kind of have to chuckle at the idea that a diaper makes a man less dominant. Consider what J. Edgar Hoover was rumored to be wearing under his clothes as head of the FBI... Also, I'm an attorney (dominating the courtroom ) and a pilot ("Pilot in Command") and I've done both of those things diapered. I know several other alpha men (including prominent attorneys, and a City Council member...) who indulge in diapers.

 

[mikejames]

i'm sorry, but i kind of have to chuckle at the idea that a diaper makes a man less dominant. consider what j. Edgar hoover was wearing under his clothes as head of the fbi (under nixon, height of the cold war)... Also, i'm an attorney (dominating the courtroom ) and a pilot ("pilot in command") and i've done both of those things diapered.

lol wut?

 

[AWH2]

Congratulations for just trying to understand it. For myself, I cannot explain my feelings at all and do not try. What ever you do, you must me comfortable with it. If not your spouse must accept this decision. I can understand your reluctance. Again congratulations for even thinking about it

 

[babybobby]

I'm sorry, but I kind of have to chuckle at the idea that a diaper makes a man less dominant. Consider what J. Edgar Hoover was rumored to be wearing under his clothes as head of the FBI... Also, I'm an attorney (dominating the courtroom ) and a pilot ("Pilot in Command") and I've done both of those things diapered. I know several other alpha men (including prominent attorneys, and a City Council member...) who indulge in diapers.

This. I'm a high power alpha male in my day job. I use diapers as a way of letting go, and being out of control for a while

 

[Kenn]

Sorry to be late to this party. Here are two more resources that you might find helpful (if you need them at all at this point):

http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Being-a-Diaper-Lover
http://www.incontinentsupport.org/Introduction_to_Wearing_Diapers.pdf