I need a believable lie for a package coming in.

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kinda

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I'm finding it difficult to request a pickup at the local UPS facility. The web site isn't letting me for some reason. I'm going to contact them for help, but in case that doesn't work, anyone have any good excuses for what could be in the package.
 

bambinod

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yeah get the number for your depot, or call the 800# and have them transfer the call to your depot (a lot of them won't give out the depot #) and have them hold for you.
 

pampers4U

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How big is the order? And is it discreet? I it's a big box you can say something like its my intake for my car or truck, if it's a small box video game stuff, clothing, what ever other hobby you have
 

tiny

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In the words of Johnny 5, "Neeeeed input!"

Why do you need to explain the package? To whom?

You could say that it's files and binders, computer hardware, a mini-fridge, a box of bananas, or....?
 

BabyCorry

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"Its a box full of none of your damn business."

No reason for you to need to tell anyone.
 
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I'm a fan of not actually lying for these. "It's a box full of clothes" is a good one and totally true, for example. But as far as coming up with something really tailored to you, I'd echo tiny that we need more detail about where you're getting the box and who might be around.
 

Katarn89

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Suggestion for future orders, when I lived with my parents I periodically ordered stuff. It was usually computer related. This made it normally for me to receive packages and since it was usually the same type of items my parents hardly ever asked. You could start ordering different things so it becomes normal for you to receive packages. I didn't order that often, but it was every few months or so which made me receiving a package that really was diapers normal.
 

blablafreckenlover

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I always said that it was something small like a charger and that they must've used a big box by mistake or that they accidentally swapped my package with someone else. That way I don't have to explain why there isn't anything that would fit in the box lying aorund.
 

bambinod

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it would help if you knew how they'd react to "it's something private". Would they continue to pry, or even demand to know what's in there? ("as long as you're living in MY HOUSE demands demands demands")
 

ade

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.....anyone have any good excuses for what could be in the package.

it's your 'new-member indoctrination kit' from I.S. (Infantilist State).
:biggrin:

oh, seriously? 'clothing'. job done. NEXT!!!
 

DevilBinky

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How 'bout "Gardening supplies" : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXb8rJ8Rm3I

I don't know how true his claim of "super non-toxic" is; I've read some claims to the contrary regarding diaper materials, but I suppose that's a discussion for elsewhere.

Alternatively, you could say that you are using the superabsorbent polymer crystals and cellulose fibers from the diapers to create an ersatz napalm. At least that was my ready excuse when I bought adult diapers at walgreens, along with a bottle of 91% rubbing alcohol, but the girl who rang me up didn't even show a hint of either curiosity or bemusement, So I decided to just not embarass myself with any nervous sounding excuses.

Of course, if your package contains adult size diapers with teddy bears and rainbows printed on them, and anyone is going to actually see them, well... just suck on your paci, and shake your rattle menacingly at their stupid face until they go away! Stormageddon fears no giant mortal!
 

Angelic

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How 'bout "Gardening supplies" : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXb8rJ8Rm3I

I don't know how true his claim of "super non-toxic" is; I've read some claims to the contrary regarding diaper materials, but I suppose that's a discussion for elsewhere.

Alternatively, you could say that you are using the superabsorbent polymer crystals and cellulose fibers from the diapers to create an ersatz napalm. At least that was my ready excuse when I bought adult diapers at walgreens, along with a bottle of 91% rubbing alcohol, but the girl who rang me up didn't even show a hint of either curiosity or bemusement, So I decided to just not embarass myself with any nervous sounding excuses.

Of course, if your package contains adult size diapers with teddy bears and rainbows printed on them, and anyone is going to actually see them, well... just suck on your paci, and shake your rattle menacingly at their stupid face until they go away! Stormageddon fears no giant mortal!
Haha, just sick vigorously and stare until they give in!
 

BoundCoder

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It depends entirely what would seem normal to your parents.

When I was living at home I generally wasn't asked what was in any of the boxes I received, but that was mostly because I routinely order (boring) stuff online and so me receiving a box of something wasn't really suspicious.

If you've never had anything delivered, then yeah, they may be curious. If you are really cagey about your answer, that may make them nervous and they may insist on knowing what you're up to.
 

LittleJess

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You could always tell them the magical legend that.

Amazon gave you a box bigger than normal for your "charger" *wink* *wink*

Better yet, It's trump "merchandise" for that crazy friend down the block. as long as your parent's or parent aren't trump supporters they should just give you a weird look.
 

icklespace

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just say a frein ask you to hold a package for them take the diapers out , hide them (this is if you drive) tell your housemate you're going to deliver it then just drive a little then put it in a dumpster then wait a little while then drive back

- - - Updated - - -

it's your 'new-member indoctrination kit' from I.S. (Infantilist State).
:biggrin:

oh, seriously? 'clothing'. job done. NEXT!!!

we are cute and dangerous we are armed with dirty diapers and pacifiers
 
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