i HATE discussing my transgenderism with my family

LexannaLexi

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It's such a deeply personal and intimate thing to me. Discussing it with my family (especially parents) feels like an incest rape of my mentality. I'm 23 years old and was forced to bring them to a session with my gender therapist (i hate that man so much) because every word that comes out of my mouth is apparently equivalent to the word of a defendant in court with no attorney. It was humiliating. My mom did great at the session but her presence there should've never happened. My transition is MY thing, not theirs. It affects me, not them. I'm old enough to know what i'm getting myself into and think for myself.

I wanted support through my transition. Support of someone i trust on an intimate level (like a girlfriend or a close friend), not my family. They love me and i love them but they don't fucking get it! I forced myself to come out after realizing i'll never find a girlfriend to give me the support i needed to do so. The fact i was on the verge of suicide helped too..

Now i'm going through my transition with unwanted excessive support of my parents which makes me feel like i'm being mentally raped. I wanted to have support of a girlfriend or do this alone but they just refuse to accept this. Their acceptance of me coming out was all the support i needed/wanted from them but they went far over the line by meddling into my transition with their good intentions that are destructive to my mentality. Why can't they just deal with it and pretend like nothing changed?😔

I just had to get it out..
 

Idonthaveaname

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I'm really sorry that happened. I don't want to crowd you, but just want you to know your not alone in this kind of thing. If you ever need to talk to someone about this. DMs are open.
 

LexannaLexi

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I'm really sorry that happened. I don't want to crowd you, but just want you to know your not alone in this kind of thing. If you ever need to talk to someone about this. DMs are open.
Don't get me wrong, i love my family and i appreciate their support but i'd much prefer if they could just give me my space. Having them at the sessions with the gender therapist is apparently the best thing that could happen because it shows the doc that i "have proper life conditions" to transition but it's just degrading to me. I'm 23, not 13
 
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stareegirl

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You know it sounds to me that the gender therapist isn't asking what you're wanting but making judgements on your state of mind.

Have you tried to calmly explain this and ask to be treated like a competent adult


It's clear you feel crowded and overwhelmed. But is it at all possible to step back from everyone and try to process this from all sides.

Maybe you could write a letter explaining that you need some privacy in this. Tell your parents that you've always been a girl and they don't need to over support you.
 
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Idonthaveaname

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Don't get me wrong, i love my family and i appreciate their support but i'd much prefer if they could just give me my space. Having them at the sessions with the gender therapist is apparently the best thing that could happen because it shows the doc that i "have proper life conditions" to transition but it's just degrading to me. I'm 23, not 13
I get that that SUCKS. I don't want to be nosy but have you considered looking for a different therapist to work with?
 

Peesalot

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Having never been in your situation I have no advice based on experience. However, I would question the therapist as to why he feels the need to involve your parents when you are NOT a minor. You are an adult of legal age who, by law, can make decisions on your own. I'd point out that since he now understands your parents support you, there is nothing else he needs to learn from them and they are no longer welcome at your sessions unless you specifically invite them.
 
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