I don't know what to do anymore

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ShinKitsune

ShinKitsune

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Well...I don't know where to start...
Hello. Call me Shin. I live in Mexico City, blah blah blah...
Some time ago, I started a thread in these forums, stating that I was considering quitting on ABDL cause of not being able to find anybody nearby I could be in diapers with at least. I think it's the ONLY thing I've been active in here. Quite a bunch of things have happened ever since.

Last year, I decided to open a Facebook account in hopes of finding that person. I'll be clear. I'm not looking for a mate or anything like that, just a caretaker or simply someone that shared the same interest as me.
I had joined a few local AB/DL groups, and even got to meet some people online. I've got to talk with one or two of them in person, but only once or twice. We've never got to do anything other than meet and talk only to not meet again.

Today it was the last drop.
A few days ago, I had met someone that lives nearby as well, and we were already going to make plans to meet this weekend and do AB/DL things. But I think I somehow fucked up.
He ended up saying "I notice you're very unsecure. Maybe we'll do it later. Bye.". In few words, I feel he lost interest in me cause of my stupid, shy personality. From this, I am considering deletting that Facebook account already as well. I don't use it, and my social skills are null. Zero. Nada.

Yes, I had tried leaving ABDL already, but no matter how I try, I end getting back into it. I just cannot get rid of it. And my failing socializing, far from helping, are making things worse for me. It feels already like a curse or something. Like I mentioned back in that post, it is no longer fun if I do it by myself.

This is one of those times where I wish I was more "normal", or at least I got induced an amnesia so I could forget about all of this. I don't know what to do at this point. It is quite desperating and frustrating.

Sorry if this comes as a bother, especially from someone that is not active most of the time. I needed to vent all of this out.
Now, back to my dark corner...
 
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Thank you for your disclosure. I've dealt with this is since age four and i am also in a simular situation. I've done some pretty radical things lately to fufill those same needs. I will tell more soon(got company, sorry)

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Ugh... somehow my post was deleted.
Just to retell...
I'm Shin, I live in Mexico City, blah blah blah...
Some time ago I had opened a thread in these forums where I was considering quitting ABDL altogether, given my inability for getting AB/DL supplies or finding people nearby me so be in diapers with.
Last year I opened a Facebook account in hopes of finding someone. I had joined local AB/DL-related groups, and even got to meet people in there. I had got to meet a few people IRL, but we never got to do anything AB/DL at all, and we never got to meet again.
Just to be clear... I am NOT looking for a boy/girlfriend... Just a caretaker, or just a friend to hang out with while diapered.
This week was the last drop...
Last week I met someone, and we were already making plans to meet and hang out in diapers, but I somehow messed up. He ended up saying "I notice you're insecure... Maybe we'll do it another time. Bye." So he lost interest in me cause of my stupid, shy personality.
I have tried quitting AB/DL, but I somehow end up involved in it right after. And I cannot get to meet with anyone cause of my lack of social skills. And like I mentioned, it's no longer enjoyable doing it by myself. It's kind of a curse.
I just don't know what to do anymore. Like I stated in the message that got deleted, I'm desperate and I sometimes wish I could at least get rid of it all and be more "normal", according to most people out there's standards.
 
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I'm not sure what the solution is to this other than trying to overcome your shyness. Most of us enjoy wearing diapers by ourselves. It's hard to meet up with other AB/DLs. I'm not sure I would want to but everyone is different. Just keep trying is all I can suggest, and try to be a little less shy. If this is something you really want, you'll have to take a few risks by being more open to others.
 
And what do I do? I'm about to close Facebook, since it's not been much use.
Where else could I find local AB/DL's?
I don't know if looking in here would help much since this is an English-speaking community. I doubt there's many locals roaming in here.
And I've deleted that person from my phone contacts. I doubt we'll ever meet again.
 
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