I disagree with the claim that diapers aren’t hard to keep discreet

[diapernh]

I’m at the point in my life that I know who I am. I know what I like. I don’t need anybody’s approval either.

 

[Kymi]

I’m at the point in my life that I know who I am. I know what I like. I don’t need anybody’s approval either.

I wasn't withholding or giving my approval. Congratulations for knowing who you are - it must have been quite a journey finding out.

 

[SecretBabyBoy]

So we’ve all probably been through the binge-purge cycle and I’m sure I’m not actually over it, but I’ve been trying to treat things as less extreme, wearing when I want and not when I don’t, and... I’ve been wearing way more but without that urge to purge everything.

It is funny, I’ve been wearing each night and not wanting to change for work, then changing right after work into a pull-up for errands and then back into a diaper as soon as I’m home. Changing again before bed into a clean diaper. I’m just a work day away from 24 hours and I’m just more comfortable with it and not judging it.

I feel no less fear about being found out but I feel more comfort and drive to wear diapers (or goodnites for discretion) at pretty much all times. I’m just trying to go with the flow. Wearing diapers more at home has made me feel so much more comfortable about how discreet pull-ups are. If I’m not in the mood to wear later today, I won’t. If I am, I will. More than likely I’ll be padded to various degrees all weekend. And I’m just coming to be okay with that for what it is and taking every day as just one day. Every minute as just a minute. Not an indicator of my whole life or a worst-case scenario spiral.

That said, I have not found ANY clothes that make wearing a diaper, even a cloth backed preschool diaper, discreet. I just don’t wear skirts or dresses and even if I can pull off the diaper dry under baggy pants with a long shirt, when wet it’s obviously not just a butt under there . So I guess my main thing is yay for taking things less extreme, but also I just don’t see how anyone wears diapers discreetly. Of how any non-dress/skirt wearing women do at least. There just isn’t much hiding the front bulge or the back bulge when wet. Even with something to hold it up.

And yes, before I get 30 “strangers really aren’t going to notice anything or realize it’s a diaper” comments, sure, many strangers might not realize, but it’s a damned small world we live in and also, my roomate definitely would. They’re a nurse for the elderly, and was a bed wetter so likely more attuned to it.

I can relate to this sooo much! Recently, I myself have been embracing my AB identity more. My method started just like yours in that I was only going to wear diapers when I wanted and not if I didn’t. You’re so right, the result has been that I have gotten more confident and comfortable and it’s making me want to wear even more! I have only worn my diaper in public ONCE so far and it was a super minimal experience. Part of my hesitation to do it again is the fact that a wet diaper CAN BE SEEN! Still, the more I wear, the more I’m accepting the fact that diapers are a part of my life. So if you see me with a bulging diaper under my pants, waddling helplessly in the store or something, don’t stare. Just pull me aside and ask if I need a change!

 

[ltaluv]

If you really think diapers are that visible under clothes, try going out in public and spotting the people wearing a diaper. Something like one person in 30 is wearing one - check the statistics on incontinence if you don't believe me. You'll find, though, that unless somebody is extremely careless with their clothing choices, such as thin, too-tight pants or short tops that ride up, you simply can't tell if they're wearing a diaper or not. You may suspect, but even that is because those of us who wear diapers are more aware of the possibility that it's are also diapered. It's very rare that you can tell for certain.

If even we can't tell when someone else is wearing a diaper, it's fair to say that other people can't tell that we're wearing diapers. I've worn thick diapers for years for incontinence, and I've never had anyone give any indication that they've noticed my diaper.

 

[theancientmariner]

You're absolutely right, not all clothing is suitable for diapers. I think the main reason people are worried about being noticed is because you know you're wearing, where as no one else does. When you look, you're looking for those noticeable signs, and therefore you see them.
I don't think many people are looking for adults wearing diapers (though, I can't say for sure what people are thinking).

Think back to the last time you were standing in line at a store... what was the person in front of you wearing? What colour was their top?

The reason I'm not worried about being notice (I am always discrete), is not because I don't think people will put two and two together, but because I don't think they care enough to even try. People are usually out and about because they have something to do, and 99% of the time, that's all they care about.

so true.when im out doing things, the LAST thing on my mind is 'wow i wonder how many diaper wearers are out here today, time to start looking at butts!' I cant remember what that lady in front of me wore, or when i wondered why that person over there's wearing rather large jeans. If you're in a clean diaper, or just wet NOT MESSY, no one should notice you, unless you're in the presence of another abdl. even then i know how discreet we are, and wouldn't ever go out with the intentions of dressing so revealing, your diaper shows. And if you do, you need to think of how selfish you're acting.