Humiliation in diapers

[wetnappyjon]

I guess this could go in here or in the AB section and I'd bet it's been discussed many times before.

I personally feel truly myself in nappies (and need them nowadays). I'm most contented and feel safest in them and always have even before I became IC. I wear them with care in public - that's not to avoid embarrassment but just because I don't think it's fair on others to have what I've got on shoved in their faces, so to speak. But I know that many people are humiliated by them and that's important to them too. I'm not talking about IC people who may well, at least at first and understandably, feel ashamed and embarrassed by them. But it's the people who are ABDL who need that aspect of nappy wearing to complete the experience.

I'd love to know just what is going on in people's minds if this is true, how it started for you and how far you'd go to be humiliated by wearing them.

 

[sbmccue]

I've never thought of diapers as humiliating, despite being a practicing AB for almost 40 years. I've had several people - mostly women - tell me they think adult diapers are humiliating, but they've never felt that way to me.

Like you, I try my best to avoid detection when I'm wearing a diaper in public. If I were to be discovered and pointed out, I might be embarrassed ... but humiliation isn't a way I'd describe the brief emotional upset that would ensue.

I know many ABs enjoy being teased or taunted about their diaper predilection. I've never wanted this, nor have I ever had it happen. Whether one is AB, DL or IC, the 'bridge' across the humiliation chasm is, in my view, constructed out of self-acceptance.

 

[YakuiAndOzoi]

But I know that many people are humiliated by them and that's important to them too. I'm not talking about IC people who may well, at least at first and understandably, feel ashamed and embarrassed by them. But it's the people who are ABDL who need that aspect of nappy wearing to complete the experience.

I'd love to know just what is going on in people's minds if this is true, how it started for you and how far you'd go to be humiliated by wearing them.

Suuuuurreeeee. "How far I would go" is a question with two sides I'd sayyyyy:

One side is how far I'd go to get other people to humiliate me, and I'd say not very far at all. I don't like or accept the idea of involving people who aren't myself or members of this community or people into my specifically mean humiliation fantasies into diaper stuff. I would not wear in a way that would lead to me being "caught" outside of purposefully with knowing participants who enjoy the idea of "catching" and 'humiliating" me for it. My partner is luckily one of these people!

The other side is how much I'd go for it, in which I'd like to address another post here:

I know many ABs enjoy being teased or taunted about their diaper predilection. I've never wanted this, nor have I ever had it happen. Whether one is AB, DL or IC, the 'bridge' across the humiliation chasm is, in my view, constructed out of self-acceptance.

I have a pretty decent self of self and ability to seperate fantasy from reality: which is to say I can handle it and want it really really mean. Does it come from a sense of subconscious inferiority? Mayyybbeeee? I just like being powerless and being embarassed by other people. It's always made my cheeks flushed and I remember enjoying it and it "making me feel funny" before I had a concept of sexuality. I happen to enjoy all kinds of problematic things that I don't believe true of reality! I like being teased for my appearance, sexuality, and identity as well, which are things I'm pretty sensitive about and would never accept outside of fantasy play, of course!

BUT, other than social anxieties ("it would suck if someone found my stash and thought something bad of me"), I don't have any shame of lack of acceptance around my diaper wear, so I don't really think it's a self-confidence issue at all. Rather, I'm just highly masochistic, I suppose! I guess you could psychoanalize me on that too but I'm just saying I think I enjoy a healthy life and self-acceptance outside of that! ☆

 

[Sgdlboy]

When i was a teen back then i was kinda humiliated in diapers because growing up i was constantly being compared to my peers and was kinda publicly humiliated for being in diapers i sort of hated it but thinking back as a DL now it feels kinda nice

 

[lilbabyjooce]

I’ve always enjoyed the idea of a little teasing or “sweet” degradation (like being called helpless as a result of being so little, not really in a mean way). The comfort and nurturing aspect of ABDL is such a big part of it for me, so being called rude names or insulted would kind of ruin it for me since I just wanted to be treated sweetly and carefully as a baby would be.
I used to be way more into BDSM dynamics so I can definitely see the appeal of humiliation and degradation. I find things like wetting so much that a diaper leaks or messing a diaper to be pretty humiliating, but to then have a CG reassure you that it’s okay is an idea I like a lot more than them shaming you. As I’ve grown into my ABDL self and my desires/needs have changed I don’t do this so much anymore, but I used to like trying to assert myself as “big” but then something would happen (using a pull-up when I was supposed to try and not have an accident, the idea of being put in mittens so I couldn’t do things properly, etc) that would put me back in my place as too little for my own good. I experienced a lot of shame as a child and social anxiety has me in an almost constant state of embarrassment, so when this was more sexual, I enjoyed the humiliation more. Now that I understand my ABDL self better and it’s essentially non sexual, it’s almost a means of healing for me and as a result I crave nurturing a lot more. But some playful teasing does always melt my heart no matter what.
That said I would not want to expose myself in any way to anyone who wasn’t part of the community. Any idea of public wearing is either a fantasy or something that I would only do if I was extra cautious and could ensure no one would be exposed (such as when my daddy and I went to the beach in the off season and I got to wear just a shirt and diaper on the sand). I would be quite embarrassed if my friends somehow found out since other than some occasional bedwetting I do not need to be wearing diapers. I do feel bad that as we are starting to live in an age where we address and unpack ableism, incontinent people still are shamed and demeaned for diapers and medical issues that could cause varying levels of incontinence. I’m really grateful to have ADISC to hear their perspectives on this matter!

 

[Ceras]

I don't think the actual act of wearing diapers is humiliating. It's more how other people will treat you if they find out you're wearing diapers.

 

[wetnappyjon]

I don't think the actual act of wearing diapers is humiliating. It's more how other people will treat you if they find out you're wearing diapers.

Yes I get that but my impression is that there's a real thrill to be had in the risk of discovery and any subsequent humiliation. Personally I try not to let my nappies show but if I was to be called out I'd have no trouble facing the situation.

 

[Str88jacketabdl]

As I get older the less I care about what others think of me. So the less I care about being embarrassed from my diaper wearing.

 

[ItsTimmyTime]

I’ve always enjoyed the idea of a little teasing or “sweet” degradation (like being called helpless as a result of being so little, not really in a mean way). The comfort and nurturing aspect of ABDL is such a big part of it for me, so being called rude names or insulted would kind of ruin it for me since I just wanted to be treated sweetly and carefully as a baby would be.
I used to be way more into BDSM dynamics so I can definitely see the appeal of humiliation and degradation. I find things like wetting so much that a diaper leaks or messing a diaper to be pretty humiliating, but to then have a CG reassure you that it’s okay is an idea I like a lot more than them shaming you. As I’ve grown into my ABDL self and my desires/needs have changed I don’t do this so much anymore, but I used to like trying to assert myself as “big” but then something would happen (using a pull-up when I was supposed to try and not have an accident, the idea of being put in mittens so I couldn’t do things properly, etc) that would put me back in my place as too little for my own good. I experienced a lot of shame as a child and social anxiety has me in an almost constant state of embarrassment, so when this was more sexual, I enjoyed the humiliation more. Now that I understand my ABDL self better and it’s essentially non sexual, it’s almost a means of healing for me and as a result I crave nurturing a lot more. But some playful teasing does always melt my heart no matter what.
That said I would not want to expose myself in any way to anyone who wasn’t part of the community. Any idea of public wearing is either a fantasy or something that I would only do if I was extra cautious and could ensure no one would be exposed (such as when my daddy and I went to the beach in the off season and I got to wear just a shirt and diaper on the sand). I would be quite embarrassed if my friends somehow found out since other than some occasional bedwetting I do not need to be wearing diapers. I do feel bad that as we are starting to live in an age where we address and unpack ableism, incontinent people still are shamed and demeaned for diapers and medical issues that could cause varying levels of incontinence. I’m really grateful to have ADISC to hear their perspectives on this matter!

This makes total sense to me. It really does feel so much more authentic when you have a CG that focuses on the loving and nurturing aspects. A little light, playful teasing can be fun and make me feel extra little as well 😍

 

[LadyOfTintagel]

Suuuuurreeeee. "How far I would go" is a question with two sides I'd sayyyyy:

One side is how far I'd go to get other people to humiliate me, and I'd say not very far at all. I don't like or accept the idea of involving people who aren't myself or members of this community or people into my specifically mean humiliation fantasies into diaper stuff. I would not wear in a way that would lead to me being "caught" outside of purposefully with knowing participants who enjoy the idea of "catching" and 'humiliating" me for it. My partner is luckily one of these people!

The other side is how much I'd go for it, in which I'd like to address another post here:

I have a pretty decent self of self and ability to seperate fantasy from reality: which is to say I can handle it and want it really really mean. Does it come from a sense of subconscious inferiority? Mayyybbeeee? I just like being powerless and being embarassed by other people. It's always made my cheeks flushed and I remember enjoying it and it "making me feel funny" before I had a concept of sexuality. I happen to enjoy all kinds of problematic things that I don't believe true of reality! I like being teased for my appearance, sexuality, and identity as well, which are things I'm pretty sensitive about and would never accept outside of fantasy play, of course!

BUT, other than social anxieties ("it would suck if someone found my stash and thought something bad of me"), I don't have any shame of lack of acceptance around my diaper wear, so I don't really think it's a self-confidence issue at all. Rather, I'm just highly masochistic, I suppose! I guess you could psychoanalize me on that too but I'm just saying I think I enjoy a healthy life and self-acceptance outside of that! ☆

This sums it up so well! I do enjoy the gentler side of roleplay at times, but being cruelly humiliated just hits buttons for me that little else does. It's hard to explain it to someone who isn't into it. I think maybe part of it is just that being made to feel small feels good to me. Humiliation isn't the only thing that does that for me, but it does it *so well*.

 

[YakuiAndOzoi]

This sums it up so well! I do enjoy the gentler side of roleplay at times, but being cruelly humiliated just hits buttons for me that little else does. It's hard to explain it to someone who isn't into it. I think maybe part of it is just that being made to feel small feels good to me. Humiliation isn't the only thing that does that for me, but it does it *so well*.

Yeah, definitely! I, myself, love the gentler stuff too! It's just totally not mutually exclusive for me to also enjoy the super harsh and cruel stuff. As you said, I think it's kinda hard for someone who isn't into the humiliation stuff to get it as something other than a "putting oneself down" kinda thing. Maybe it is that for some people, but I find it a very similar feeling to the comfort feeling, at least in that both make my tummy feel good!

 

[SeniorMan]

I love the gentler stuff too! It's for me to also enjoy the super harsh and cruel stuff. As you said, I think it's kind of hard for someone who isn't into the humiliation stuff to get it as something other than a "putting oneself down" kind of thing. Maybe it is that for some people, but I find it a very similar feeling to the comfort feeling, at least in that both make my tummy feel good!

When you are humiliated, you have a visceral, a sudden emotional feeling in your guts, or part of your digestive system and especially your intestine and stomach. Some are not nice, mean, and heartless in their cruelty to you. Others are unpleasantly rough going on your emotions. Your humiliation induces the development of a greater, contrasting, and considerate disposition, in which you are careful to not cause hurt to others. Your disposition is the source of your comfort.

From being humiliated, one can develop PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). Humiliation can be a traumatic experience and can evoke intense emotions such as fear, guilt, anger, and shame. Additionally, humiliation can generate feelings of powerlessness and can lead to feeling socially isolated from others.

 

[YakuiAndOzoi]

When you are humiliated, you have a visceral, a sudden emotional feeling in your guts, or part of your digestive system and especially your intestine and stomach. Some are not nice, mean, and heartless in their cruelty to you. Others are unpleasantly rough going on your emotions. Your humiliation induces the development of a greater, contrasting, and considerate disposition, in which you are careful to not cause hurt to others. Your disposition is the source of your comfort.

From being humiliated, one can develop PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder). Humiliation can be a traumatic experience and can evoke intense emotions such as fear, guilt, anger, and shame. Additionally, humiliation can generate feelings of powerlessness and can lead to feeling socially isolated from others.

Sure, To be clear, I am very specifically talking about controlled, consensual humiliation here. The kind where I can say a safeword to let my partner know I'm actually uncomfy and they'll stop immediately and go into caring mode for me.

 

[Rita]

She doesn't really humiliated me at all, but she will playfully teasing me every so often.

 

[wetnappyjon]

There are several themes going on here. Some people are obviously and understandably shamed by having to wear diapers/nappies. Some like to be teased (@Rita) and some are into controlled consensual humiliation (@YakuiAndOzoi) which I guess are 2 parts of the same thing. But am I right that there are people who want to put themselves into exposed, even dangerous, situations by wanting to be discovered wearing nappies and hoping for some kind of punishment? Certainly some ABDL stories online seem to suggest that, or maybe it's just a fantasy.

 

[YakuiAndOzoi]

[...] But am I right that there are people who want to put themselves into exposed, even dangerous, situations by wanting to be discovered wearing nappies and hoping for some kind of punishment? Certainly some ABDL stories online seem to suggest that, or maybe it's just a fantasy.

Sure. I write and roleplay stuff like that, but it has no real connection to my real life. If something like that happened in real life it would be totally different from the fantasy. I would probably retroactively fetishize it since I do think of that as a mostly healthy way to cope and get over it, but definately wouldn't seek it out or actually want it.