how to tell somone?

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Yawgmoth

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As a small update to my last post in this thread, I’d like to say that the other night I received a message from “John” informing me of a devlopment in his current relationship with a girl. This girl, let’s call her Betty-Sue, decided that she’d indulge his fantasy for valentines day. Natural curiosity got ahold of me at this point and I inquired as to what sheand him intend to do. Sadly for all of you, however, I don’t feel as though it’d be right of me to inform you all of John’s and Betty-Sue’s intimate plans. To put it short, it seems as though on Valentines Day, John will be, as he put it, “Living the dream.”

Totally has to be in the 100% trust level area, and still, it's all up to how she takes things that are out of the "norm" for her, watch her for a bit and see how she takes "weird-well, to her, weird" stuff and go from there.
I would like to kindly disagree with this statement. I don't believe that it's necessary to be in a "100% trust zone" to tell someone. for the reasons stated in my above post, if you tell someone with confidence and without shame then it's my conclusion (supported by reports of others) that they will respect that courage.

However, I think it's important to differentiate between being "accepted" and being "indulged"; often times people will blur, or even erase, the line between the two. In all of my "studies" very few actually end up with the person they told actually participating in this fetish's content. All of them did accept it however. It's important to draw that line distinctly, as someone's acceptance can often times dwindle away if they're being pressured to participate in it when not wanting to.
 

Vladimir

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Make sure you trust each other well... And try mentioning this kind of stuff to him/her in a discrete way so he/she doesn't suspect you but gives his/her opinion about it. Do it slowly and don't rush, if you're not sure about him/her accepting it then wait a while longer. I don't really know what to say that was not already mentioned by other people.
 

BabyKat

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I agree with handfulofoats go about it alone. You really haven't bene dating long enough to tell her. Its not worth risking it. Unless you two are at that level i wouldn't risk it. Once u open your mouth about it then you can never go back unless u created a time machine. In the case that u did create a time machine by all means go and tell her and u can control ure own fate. Goodluck!
Yup, just make sure you make the time machine first, because if you ever watched the movie, he couldn't fix it because he had only created it in the first place because of his mistake!:D ;) :rolleyes:

I have to say that I kinda disagree. I wouldn't want to be with someone that could potentially hate me. And keeping secrets from a wife isn't a good thing anyway. It's like asking for trouble. If a girl/guy loves you enough, then you should eventually be able to talk about it.
I agree with Shippo on this one. And besides, I think that's a major exaggeration. I've told people about it, and I have two different friends I've slept with a stuffed animal wearing diapers in front of. (partially medical, but they don't even know that part...**shrug** lol)

dude, what happen to "just don't tell her?" here you are suggesting you ask her to go with you to buy diapers? that'd be like worse than anything. you need to just not tell her. you're going to screw it up like everyone else has done and you're going to regret it. that's all there is to it.

what is with people wanting to tell everyone about it all the time, like it's going to relieve some big pressure? you're not living a lie and most people don't want to hear about it.


DON'T TELL HER YOU FOOL
**sarcasm**Wow that's not offensive at all.**/sarcasm.** And obviously either you never succeeded yourself, or are way to scared, insecure, and not accepting of yourself to tell anyone.

But ya, asking her to buy diapers is a bit much. And why are you so stereotypical? There are lots of success stories and these interests aren't that uncommon...weird yes, but the only reason people don't know about it as much is because a lot of people like you associate shame with it.

And by the way, as much as I don't endorse anyone else's actions, it does relieve a quite a bit of pressure. All I can say is: people, tell them if you really want to, but make sure you're ready for any possible consequences. I myself have a few friends who we are all on a level where we can all tell each other anything at this point and coming out about anything, especially if you bring it about in a good light like was previously said, generally brings those who really are your friends and girl/guy-friends closer to you.
 
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vampiresdiaper7

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I got lucky when I told my best friend and my gf.

They both happened to be cool with it which was kind of shocking. They were ok with it b/c they were into other stuff rele close to it.
 

Arlo

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I hope I am allowed to write here....

I am "Arlo's" girlfriend, and last night we had the talk where I found out about all of this, and I am very glad it happened. We have a wonderful relationship and live together very comfortably, but for the past month, on and off, I could tell something was on his mind. I began to worry, and think of worst-case scenarios, another girl, I'm not good enough... something like that. After all the buildup of him "having to tell me something important, that it was hard to say", I was not upset, or weirded out at all. I was glad it wasn't anything bad! Really, I am just curious as to the fettish, but it does not change who he is. In fact, after breaking that barrier, I think we have an even more wonderful thing going. Even last night, we sat down and ordered diapers online. I'm kinda curious to see what it's all about, and maybe include them in the sex realm...

For him to have sat down and told me about this means a whole lot to me. I greatly respect his courage, and for others, as the "person to tell", I shall say this:

DON'T keep this a secret forever! I believe trust is one of the most important qualities in a healthy relationship. If this would break two people apart, then I would dare to say it was not "meant to be" in the first place, if they can't accept you for who you are. Like diaperedteenager said, I love him and I will accept him no matter what!!! He is my unique boyfriend and nothing will change my feelings for him!
-the girlfriend
 

Point

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I hope I am allowed to write here....

I am "Arlo's" girlfriend, and last night we had the talk where I found out about all of this, and I am very glad it happened. We have a wonderful relationship and live together very comfortably, but for the past month, on and off, I could tell something was on his mind. I began to worry, and think of worst-case scenarios, another girl, I'm not good enough... something like that. After all the buildup of him "having to tell me something important, that it was hard to say", I was not upset, or weirded out at all. I was glad it wasn't anything bad! Really, I am just curious as to the fettish, but it does not change who he is. In fact, after breaking that barrier, I think we have an even more wonderful thing going. Even last night, we sat down and ordered diapers online. I'm kinda curious to see what it's all about, and maybe include them in the sex realm...

For him to have sat down and told me about this means a whole lot to me. I greatly respect his courage, and for others, as the "person to tell", I shall say this:

DON'T keep this a secret forever! I believe trust is one of the most important qualities in a healthy relationship. If this would break two people apart, then I would dare to say it was not "meant to be" in the first place, if they can't accept you for who you are. Like diaperedteenager said, I love him and I will accept him no matter what!!! He is my unique boyfriend and nothing will change my feelings for him!
-the girlfriend
That's so cool. It's a rare thing to get advice from the other side! Thanks a lot, and it's great that you're so accepting of him. :D
 

Yawnie

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Yay, congrats on the new, more stronger love between Arlo and his girlfriend!!!
 

Corri

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i have the best solution! don't tell her unless you have to? if you can go three years, you can go forever! many people on this site have horror stories about telling their parents or girlfriends or whoever: please learn from those mistakes. there's no real reason to tell them anyways, 99% of them wont spend money on it and wont act on it more than once. just save yourself the trouble, stay cynical, and keep it on the DL.
Go ahead and ask Tavi Munkart what happens when you do that, and they THEN find out.

However, congrats on finding someone so accepting, you are truly llucky. I hope you two are together till you die.
 

BluTack

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I want to know what were your first toughts when he said he likes diapers.
Are you thinking of actully trying it out?
 

Arlo

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Heh... really, my first thought was "That's all?!" That's because I was imagining all these horrible things before he told me what he actually wanted to. It's doen't really bother me, everyone has their own quirks. Me, I freak out if cabinet doors are open, have to run around and close them, and I don't even know why (it's fine at home but weird when I go to a friend's house and do it).

I was also sorry for him afterwards, hearing about keeping this a secret so long, and no support from the parents who found the diapers when they searched his room. I felt, in a way, honored to know this, and be the first person he willingly told. I want to support him for who he is no matter what.

I don't care if he'll wear diapers to bed, but there's a curious part of me as to the enjoyment of the whole thing. If it makes him happy, I may try it eventually. It's still new news to me, but we're still the same people in the end of it all.
 

Yawnie

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Ya, if they already loved you before, why must this fact tear people apart, relationship wise....
 

Yawgmoth

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This is just a quick note to notify everyone that I've put my Theory on Telling Others (as seen in this thread and my blog) in the Wiki. It's under the How do I tell my family/friends/partner? section.
 

KidBoruto

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I told my Mom about my Infantilism December 2007, but she had already known about it for years.

I also told 2 of my friends that are in High School about it at my Birthday Party, and they knew about it since my Junior year of High School.

ANd I also told my 2 college friends, and one of them turned out to be a fellow Infantilist.
 

Yawgmoth

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I told my Mom about my Infantilism December 2007, but she had already known about it for years.

I also told 2 of my friends that are in High School about it at my Birthday Party, and they knew about it since my Junior year of High School.
Based on your posts in this thread I'd assume, if what you're saying is true, everyone would be aware of your infantalism.

ANd I also told my 2 college friends, and one of them turned out to be a fellow Infantilist.
Wow, just based on your other posts, I'd like to be the first to call BS on this...

And while I'm at it, I'd also like to point out that in 5 minutes your post count increased by like 9 or 10 and nothing of value was contributed. There's a reason your rep is -4.
 

KidBoruto

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I am not lying. If you want, I could give you my friend's(the one that turned out to be an Infantilist) e-mail address and you can talk to him yourself.

His e-mail address is [removed email address].


Moderator note: You must not post email addresses in plain view. For your own address, you can use your profile. Do not - under any circumstance - post anyone else's address. This is for your own and everyone else's safety!
 
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Yawgmoth

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I am not lying. If you want, I could give you my friend's(the one that turned out to be an Infantilist) e-mail address and you can talk to him yourself.

His e-mail address is [email removed].
As much as I'd love to send your 100% authentic friend, with no chance of it being you pretending to be him, an email...I'll pass. As far as I'm concerned, this is all a bunch of BS and anyone here with an ounce of wisdom will see right through it.

I KNOW WHATS TRUE! </reference to another thread>
 
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KidBoruto

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As much as I'd love to send your 100% authentic friend, with no chance of it being you pretending to be him, an email...I'll pass. As far as I'm concerned, this is all a bunch of BS and anyone here with an ounce of wisdom will see right through it.

I KNOW WHATS TRUE! </reference to another thread>
What do I have to do to prove my claims?
 
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I told an old female friend after she moved far, far away. We can talk openly and honestly (we already did, this was just a precaution). Nobody else knows, and as far as I can tell she's pretty good at keeping secrets. I've considered telling a trusted friend, but I just don't know. MSN is better, you don't need to worry about the immediate reaction as much, which can sometimes be uncomfortable, and if you see them shortly after you can elaborate and judge. Don't tell people you can't trust; close friends only.
 
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