how to tell somone?

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Arlo

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I have been wearing diapers off and on for about 5 years (14-19) and last year while away at college I didn't feel the desire to wear diapers or really think about it...

But now in my second year of college I got a gf and we ended up moving off campus together. We have been dating for almost six months now.. and I keep having thoughts and dreams about wearing them again. She means a lot to me and I don't Know how to approach this subject. Does anyone have advice or experience in the doing this?
 

swaddledsubbie

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you could try watching some cartoons or something, refer to diapers, and if it doesn't go well, word it so you can play it off as a joke if need be!!
 

Dash

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I had this with my gf, and my friends.
I kinda got lucky. I first told my friend, then my girlfriend. They're both cool with it.
But it's all down to trust. I told my gf by just telling her straight that there was something I wanted her to know, didn't know how to tell her, and feared she would think I was some kinda freak because it's not a common thing (to her, anyway!). It took a lot of reassuring from her that she wouldn't freak out - and she didn't.

I guess I can't really give you anything else, since I don't know your gf, nor what your relationship is like. But best of luck if you choose to tell her.
 
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you could try watching some cartoons or something, refer to diapers, and if it doesn't go well, word it so you can play it off as a joke if need be!!
Agreed.

Dash's idea would be good, if you trust your girlfriend.
 

Customizer

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Get to the point in the relationship where you can tell each other anything.
 

avery

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if it was me i'd find some way to start a conversation about kinky stuff. if you've been dating for six months you should be able to talk openly about this sort of thing. steer a conversation around to a place where you can ask her if she's ever been interested in bondage or something else other than straight vanilla sex. however she ends up replying, she'll be almost certain to turn right around and ask you the same question. so there's your opportunity to be like "well, erm, actually..."
 

diapered college

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i have a similar problem. i have a gf of almost 3 yrs and yet to tell her. i have been wanting to since the first year, but i am such a scardey cat.
 

g6s

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i have the best solution! don't tell her unless you have to? if you can go three years, you can go forever! many people on this site have horror stories about telling their parents or girlfriends or whoever: please learn from those mistakes. there's no real reason to tell them anyways, 99% of them wont spend money on it and wont act on it more than once. just save yourself the trouble, stay cynical, and keep it on the DL.
 

Blake

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I agree with handfulofoats go about it alone. You really haven't bene dating long enough to tell her. Its not worth risking it. Unless you two are at that level i wouldn't risk it. Once u open your mouth about it then you can never go back unless u created a time machine. In the case that u did create a time machine by all means go and tell her and u can control ure own fate. Goodluck!
 

ShippoFox

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i have the best solution! don't tell her unless you have to? if you can go three years, you can go forever! many people on this site have horror stories about telling their parents or girlfriends or whoever: please learn from those mistakes. there's no real reason to tell them anyways, 99% of them wont spend money on it and wont act on it more than once. just save yourself the trouble, stay cynical, and keep it on the DL.
I have to say that I kinda disagree. I wouldn't want to be with someone that could potentially hate me. And keeping secrets from a wife isn't a good thing anyway. It's like asking for trouble. If a girl/guy loves you enough, then you should eventually be able to talk about it.
 

Charlie

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Get to the point in the relationship where you can tell each other anything.
I agree!

When you really feel like you trust her, then tell her by Dash's or avery's method. If she values your relationship, she should be fine with it. Even if she's freaked out at first, hopefully she'll get past it.
But only you know your girlfriend and will be able to guess how she'll react.

I don't agree with not telling her at all... What if the relationship ends up a long time thing? Then you'll get stuck in the bad position of having waited to long to tell, so that telling her would be plain weird ("and why are you telling me this now!?")... And you either have to ignore this side of you, which is unfair on you, or risk not getting caught, which will probably end up in you getting caught and her freaking out.

Tell her, when you fell like you can trust her, in an open, honest and calm way. Girls dig honesty and openness... :p
 
A

annierighthurr

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My opinion is that if your girlfriend loves you, you should tell her. If you feel like your relationship is rocky enough that she may dump you, then don't. To test the waters, maybe just start talking about fetishes, and bring up diapers. Don't try to talk about it in a negative light. Just talk about it like it's a "normal" fetish and see their reaction. If its really bad, then just don't tell.

I disagree about not ever telling though. I told my boyfriend (I'm a girl) a couple days ago and it went very well. I am lucky that he is understanding and loves me because I know he didn't think too highly of those with this fetish (and yes he knew about it). He still thinks TB/ABs are really weird so I haven't divulged that much. He has diapered me in fun but I am beginning to understand I have to draw limits. He knows, which is great, but he doesn't have to know *everything*. Not right away... and you also have to be patient. Hopefully your girlfriend will come around to the idea quickly like my guy did and even if she does, or doesn't, it still might seem awkward for a bit. Don't force any TMI if she doesn't want to know. It is all about putting something out there without too much pressure or expectancy. I want to get the point where I can wear diapers around him without feeling uncomfortable but right now he thinks diapers are all about sex. I will change this opinion later. He just doesn't need to know now. So dont be all like "I like diapers and I wear them all the time, omg yay" blahblah. Just take it slow.

I hope this helps a little.
 

Arlo

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thanks for the ideas I had been playing with the right way to tell her for a while and I think I might know what to say now... I just don't really know where to go with it after I tell her... I mean do I suggest that we go to the store and I buy diapers... she diapers me and I her... this relationship is important to me and I don't know what to do yet. I trust her but don't know how to pursue this. Does anyone else have experience with bring this into a relationship?
 

Dawes

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Let her know, but don't bring her into the relationship of your own suggestion.

Never.

If she's curious about it, she'll make it known -- she has nothing to lose or be embarassed about. However, I say this out of caution, out of respect. Do not speak a desire to have her interact with you in this state. Why? Because it might not be her thing. She might be supportive of you doing as you wish, but it might even potentially disgust her. We do things that disgust our wives, our girlfriends, our friends every day, but they look past it knowing who we are, and this could be one of those things. Don't be offended if she finds it to be something she's not at all interested in, but I would not suggest inviting her to your personal interest, either.

If she's the one who expresses the idea? Then that's perfectly fine. Me, I live in a happily devoted relationship where, though my girlfriend knows and I about her own interests, I have chosen to respectfully let her duck out of my interests, as they are not her own. I love her no less for it, and just telling someone is a great weight off of your shoulders. However, playing in person with these particular interests is a lot more difficult and embarassing than you can imagine at first -- it's something you need to get used to yourself, and if your girl isn't into it?

.. Well, you could be opening a wider rift in things than you ever expected.
 

Yawgmoth

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This topic actually reminds me of a topic of conversation that I was discussing among my friends in the community. The topic stemmed from a friend of mine, which I’ve known in the community for several years now, telling me that he is considering telling his girlfriend about this little “pastime”. So the question raised was: What is the likelihood of her receiving it well vs. receiving it negatively?

So with the question raised, I contemplated over it for a few hours and consulted the opinions of several other friends on my “Community” Buddy-List. After getting several opinions, and comparing them to my own, I came up with a theory. “A person’s response to finding out fetish information is directly related to how they found out about it.” Allow me to explain…

My community friend, let’s call him John for simplicity sake, has told two people about this fetish in his lifetime. Each time he’s told someone he did so in a level headed, reasonable, fashion within conversational context (Note: “conversational context” means that him and his lady friend were already talking about intimate things, such as what “turns them on”). Not surprisingly, both girls that he’s told received it well, with acceptance, and even were curious enough to ask more questions about it. To this day John has no reported negative consequences from telling them.

While asking another friend about this topic, let’s call him Mike, I was told his story of telling friends. Mike, being a person of incredible testicular fortitude, would occasionally wear his diapers while hanging out with his friends; at the time, the friends were ignorant of what he was wearing. Well, for some reason Mike decided one day that he’d tell his friends, and so he did. Although I don’t know what context he brought it up in, according to Mike the friends took it well and were not disturbed by it at all.

Throughout three more conversations similar to the two above I was unable to find a single account of someone telling friends/significant-others resulting in a negative response. The other three people I asked told similar success stories; believe it or not two of those three are females in the community, one of which told her other female friend and the other told her group of male friends. It is my theory, from the above observations, that when you personally tell someone that it subconsciously gets interpreted that you have no shame over it. If you convey no embarrassment, shame, discomfort, etc…about doing something then the individual(s) that you told has nothing to think negatively of you about.

On the other hand, take a typical crappy diaper story where some teenager wears diapers for some reason, tries to hide it, and gets caught. When people see someone ashamed of what they’re doing, trying to hide it, then getting caught on someone else’s (other than their own) accord it’d a given that others will find fault in it and receive it in a way that you most likely won’t like. To put it simply, information that is taken rather than given is much more likely to be used as “ammo” against you.

Now keep in mind that in no way am I saying to go out and flaunt this fetish. We’ve all seen the horrific ABs on the news that go out in public dressed in the full baby outfit. There’s a line between telling someone with tact and telling the world like a bumbling idiot. Please, for the sake of everyone, don’t become someone like the folk that “represented” us on Jerry Springer. I’m just saying that if you decide to tell someone, use common sense and tact. For example, it most likely wouldn’t be too prudent to wear a used diaper while telling someone all this.

Disclaimer: Despite the content of this article Yawgmoth does not actually endorse or support actually telling anyone about your fetishes. It is Yawgmoth’s paranoid belief that, regardless of the above supporting data, that it would be foolish to tell someone such sensitive information for reasons that are too many to list. Yawgmoth claims no responsibility for any lives ruined or damaged by telling someone your fetish(s). Yawgmoth will, however, take responsibility for any successes as a result of telling someone; in fact if any of you guys tell your girlfriend and get her to do anything ABDL related with you, you can repay Yawgmoth by letting him have a “go” with her. ^_^


I hope you found something useful in all this rambling…
 
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To sum all of this thread up.

Women are to complicated,

I'm talking to YOU Anna and Ayanna!

incredible testicular fortitude
That is epic lols.

I would try to write, ass tasticly awesome articles like yours Yawg, but I'm to impatient and I think Its to dangerous that my parents might come down here and screw up my train of thought.

You are JENIOUS!

I'd like to tell a girlfriend, but I have none, and Probably won't for a while. (Frowny face) But, your advice is great. It's your choice to tell or not, it's your girlfriend, only you can guess how she will take it. So since I've stolen someones idea already, I leave.
 

Yawnie

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Totally has to be in the 100% trust level area, and still, it's all up to how she takes things that are out of the "norm" for her, watch her for a bit and see how she takes "weird-well, to her, weird" stuff and go from there.

But remember, "Choose you words wisely today, for tomarrow, you may be eating them."

And another quote-"To see the rainbow, you must be prepared to indure the storm."
 

g6s

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dude, what happen to "just don't tell her?" here you are suggesting you ask her to go with you to buy diapers? that'd be like worse than anything. you need to just not tell her. you're going to screw it up like everyone else has done and you're going to regret it. that's all there is to it.

what is with people wanting to tell everyone about it all the time, like it's going to relieve some big pressure? you're not living a lie and most people don't want to hear about it.


DON'T TELL HER YOU FOOL
 

Rissy

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The point, Oat Handful... Is that secrets especially in a relationship is unhealthy and so you would tell someone to let it off your chest and so you don't have to keep some secret life from your lover...
 
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