(How to?) Stay in diaper after resolving the urge ?

[Moyinaoa]

Hi everyone,

I think the title is a bit vague, but I couldn't be more explicit without being too explicit.

I'm a man, and sometimes when I'm not wearing a diaper at that moment, I feel arroused, and I also feel the urge to put a diaper on (sometimes I also put a diaper on without having this excitement beforehand), and what happens afterwards is either :

- I deal with that arousal (you get it) and plan to put on a diaper next, but after I resolve the arousal I don't feel like wearing a diaper at all, just thinking about it pushes me away. Just thinking about it pushes me away.

- I don't deal with the arousal, I put a diaper right away, and then I deal with the arousal, instantly after it's done (you get the idea), I immediately feel the need to take the diaper OFF, strong feeling of :
shame,
disgust,
guilt,
an insistent need to take the diaper OFF right away and not wear anymore for a few days.

My questions are, am I the only one experiencing this pattern?

But MORE THAN THAT:

Is there a tip/advice to KEEP the diaper on even after that i dealt with the excitement while wearing it..?

I'd really like to stop feeling that disgust towards myself and the diaper after I'm done with the arousal, and maybe even (am I asking too much?) stop associating arousal with diaper.

Thanks a lot to those who took the time to read and will take the time to give me a little answer.
Have a nice day!

 

[diaperboy]

I'm kinda the same way with diapers? Sometimes I just want one on for comfort, other times I like to just use it for sexual reasons. I usually just wear it through the arousal I get putting one on. It's uncomfortable at first, I'm not going to sugarcoat that, but that's what helped me. Otherwise, I'd watch some little content or something that would associate the diaper with nonsexual acts. If that's something up your alley, anyway. Hopefully this helped in some way!

 

[UGAFAN1985]

I would highly recommend listening to Ep. 16 of the Love In Brief podcast. They discuss this exact topic and I feel like it really helped me with this issue.

 

[todderhr]

YES, this same pattern. It's like afterwards "WTF is wrong with me?" But over time, just learn to relax, do something else with the diaper on and it will start to pass.

 

[Moyinaoa]

I'm kinda the same way with diapers? Sometimes I just want one on for comfort, other times I like to just use it for sexual reasons. I usually just wear it through the arousal I get putting one on. It's uncomfortable at first, I'm not going to sugarcoat that, but that's what helped me. Otherwise, I'd watch some little content or something that would associate the diaper with nonsexual acts. If that's something up your alley, anyway. Hopefully this helped in some way!

Hello, thanks for your kind reply,

i didn't understand the part where you say "I usually just wear it through the arousal I get putting one on. It's uncomfortable at first"

What's uncomfortable ? And what helped you exactly ?

I'd really like to kind of dissociate the sexual part of the diaper, and gain the "freedom" of wearing a diaper just for the secure feeling i can get from it.

Sometimes i'm not even aroused at all, but just by wearing one, i become aroused, relive the arousal, and then just want to remove the diaper, and feels like i kind of wasted a diaper...

 

[Moyinaoa]

I would highly recommend listening to Ep. 16 of the Love In Brief podcast. They discuss this exact topic and I feel like it really helped me with this issue

Hello,

Thank you but i don't have a podcast subscription

 

[Moyinaoa]

YES, this same pattern. It's like afterwards "WTF is wrong with me?" But over time, just learn to relax, do something else with the diaper on and it will start to pass.

Hello,

Did you learn to "break" this bad pattern ? With the tip you gave me ?

Are you able now to dissociate diapers and arousal ? You can now wear a diaper without feeling that urge to ... deal with the arousal ?

 

[todderhr]

Hello,

Thank you but i don't have a podcast subscription

it should be free

 

[Moyinaoa]

Any other advices please? Or maybe even some other people in the same situation ?

 

[todderhr]

Hello,

Did you learn to "break" this bad pattern ? With the tip you gave me ?

Are you able now to dissociate diapers and arousal ? You can now wear a diaper without feeling that urge to ... deal with the arousal ?

okay, how long have you been wearing diapers? how often?

 

[todderhr]

Post-coital tristesse - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[messydiaper]

If I am wearing diapers for pleasure, I put off any activity that causes a happy ending until I want to stop wearing for pleasure. I can sometimes wear for two or three days and then have a happy ending. And then I'm done with wearing for pleasure. I find I enjoy that better than getting excited, putting on a diaper, and then satisfying my needs because my reaction is exactly like yours, although I've move past the guilt feelings. I just don't feel like wearing it afterward.

 

[K00paTr00pa]

What helped me getting over that exact feeling was getting a magic wand. I put on a fresh diaper, take care of business with the wand in the diaper. Afterwards, since I only came in it, I wont want to throw it out, but because I came in it, I wont want to just stuff it back in a drawer either, so I just wear it for hours on end.

I dont like to waste money, sort of use that to my advantage. The only diapers I would use as a "one and done", are probably Goodnites. Though with those I try to make them leak with one wetting.

 

[Moyinaoa]

okay, how long have you been wearing diapers? how often?

I like these pertinent questions !

So the answer is that I've been a DL for many years, BUT I've never worn diapers regularly, it's always been for short periods of time fairly spaced out, so to tell you the truth, although I've worn diapers many times, it's never been very regular and consistent.

At best I wear them two days in a row, then I take a break for a few days to wear them again etc... it's still pretty occasional (because of the context I live in, which means I can't wear diapers whenever I want, I'm pretty restricted in that respect, that's also why I don't wear diapers as often as I would like to. I do the best I can

---

I think this also has something to do with post-coital sadness, but maybe not just that. I think it also has to do with the diapers themselves. The acceptance etc...

Actually, ok, diapers turn me on when I'm wearing them, and when I do the diaper thing, right after I feel disgusted, I feel horrible and I want to take the diaper off as soon as possible and not hear/see about diapers for at least 24 hours.

And that frustrates me quite a bit because I would really like to enjoy my diaper, keep it on for a long time, urinate in it, and not just do the thing that I won't name and then throw the diaper away after 15 minutes.

Quite often (not ALWAYS) as soon as I put the diaper on, I get an erection and I feel the need to take care of it. I would like to be able to put on my diaper, and keep it on without having this insistent need.

What I tried to do was to take care of the erection before putting the diaper on, and again the problem is that right after I take care of the erection, I don't feel like putting a diaper on at all... it frustrates me because I really wanted to wear it. I want to dissociate the wearing of diapers from the sexual side.

 

[todderhr]

as soon as I put the diaper on, I get an erection and I feel the need to take care of it. I would like to be able to put on my diaper, and keep it on without having this insistent need.

lucky 😂

The more exposure you have to them, unfortunately, the less exciting it will be.

 

[messydiaper]

I like these pertinent questions !

So the answer is that I've been a DL for many years, BUT I've never worn diapers regularly, it's always been for short periods of time fairly spaced out, so to tell you the truth, although I've worn diapers many times, it's never been very regular and consistent.

At best I wear them two days in a row, then I take a break for a few days to wear them again etc... it's still pretty occasional (because of the context I live in, which means I can't wear diapers whenever I want, I'm pretty restricted in that respect, that's also why I don't wear diapers as often as I would like to. I do the best I can

---

I think this also has something to do with post-coital sadness, but maybe not just that. I think it also has to do with the diapers themselves. The acceptance etc...

Actually, ok, diapers turn me on when I'm wearing them, and when I do the diaper thing, right after I feel disgusted, I feel horrible and I want to take the diaper off as soon as possible and not hear/see about diapers for at least 24 hours.

And that frustrates me quite a bit because I would really like to enjoy my diaper, keep it on for a long time, urinate in it, and not just do the thing that I won't name and then throw the diaper away after 15 minutes.

Quite often (not ALWAYS) as soon as I put the diaper on, I get an erection and I feel the need to take care of it. I would like to be able to put on my diaper, and keep it on without having this insistent need.

What I tried to do was to take care of the erection before putting the diaper on, and again the problem is that right after I take care of the erection, I don't feel like putting a diaper on at all... it frustrates me because I really wanted to wear it. I want to dissociate the wearing of diapers from the sexual side.

Said every DL EVER...You've described the nature of the DL experience very well.

 

[messydiaper]

I've mentioned this audio book before, but "Be Careful What You Wish For" by Nanny Chloe on Audible is an incredible articulation of this phenomenon. It's a fantasy book about a male who tries to buy diapers and is confronted by a woman who wants to turn him into a diaper wearing submissive. The story is told as a fantasy and the "mommy" articulates her frustration about DL's who lose their interests in diapers as soon as they have an orgasm. That story embodies the fantasy in my head and the real life experience I have of losing interest in diapers as soon as I am satisfied in a sexual way.

 

[Joediaper]

I had this very same issue. I ended up in my own apartment and finally had the time and space to wear as long as I wanted but found that I couldn't. The feelings of remorse still prevented me from wearing and the excitement while wearing was fairly uncomfortable. Even if I could get the excitement to subside it would come right back as soon as I urinated. I would be unable to concentrate on even simple tasks while wearing until I took care of business. After I would not want to wear and would end up not wearing for a couple days.

This was also the period of time I was figuring out I was more little than DL. The feelings of wanting to be tiny again and wear diapers freely were getting stronger. I wanted to explore this more but was increasingly difficult due to the excitement. I also felt even more shame because something I was associating with being little was making me do adult things that were dirty.

What I ended up deciding is that these two 'entities', being little and dirty adult stuff, needed to be separated in my mind. It became a mind over matter thing at that point. I tried both ways. Taking care of business before I diapered up and taking care of business while diapered and continuing to wear after. The strong feelings of remorse for combining these things was still there and difficult to deal with. I had to remind myself regularly that this was two separate states of mind and places in my mind. I also indulged my little side after taking care of business even while not wearing. Doing things like playing with a toy or playing little type games online. Surfing the web for little stuff helps too. Reminding myself all the way through that what I did before was a different persona of myself and what I'm doing now is completely separate from that persona.

After a few weeks I was able to force myself to wear after taking care of business and was still going through the same mental process. I began accepting the separation and accepting wearing diapers as normal even. I could switch from adult to little and not feel as ashamed about what I just did because my adult did it and not my little. I could relax easier when wearing and didn't hold my pee until I flooded any more. I was able to wear all night comfortably and sleep good while wearing. Even started wetting in my sleep but only when diapered. There were a few accidents along the way at night but not bad ones. After several months I was able to take care of business and still have the desire to wear after. My mind figured out it was little time and that's the time I enjoy most.

This whole process is really just training your mind to do what you want when you want instead of letting it control when and where you get excited. Now that I Have found these two states of mind I have continued training by getting myself excited on purpose then attempting to switch back. I am able to do so most of the time and can go right back to little space. I can sit around all day in a diaper and not get aroused in the slightest and if I start to I can revert back fairly quick. If I can't I just go take care of it and go right back to little space.

I hope this helps you on your journey to find a way to enjoy and accept yourself.

 

[TigerDL]

I think the title is a bit vague, but I couldn't be more explicit without being too explicit.

FYI, there is a sexuality section where questions of this nature are often asked and answered, less need to avoid explicitness over there. It's either an opt-in or opt-out part of the website, so if you don't see it it might be in your settings

 

[Belarin]

I also experienced the same feelings of guilt, remorse, maybe not disgust as that is a strong term but something akin to it.

This was in my earlier years as a DL, we're talking mid to late teens (after I was able to start buying them whenever I wanted) to maybe early 20's so as you can imagine with it starting in teenage years the hormone and excitement levels were pretty high. I had the same issue where if I dealt with the arousal urge first I would no longer want the nappy and after doing it in the nappy I would take it straight off.

I don't think there are any particular tricks to getting over this but for me I think it was purely a matter of will power.

I would try to put any thoughts of "i'm going to put a nappy on and have a... good time" out of my head so as not to associate wearing with that act of self pleasure and then if I got aroused while trying to put one on I would simply keep going through it, once the nappy was on I would do something less exciting to get it soft again and then rearrange things so it's comfy.

This can be easier said than done but it did help a little.

In addition to this I would try to wear as often and as long as I could and really focus on the pleasure of just wetting/soiling the nappy and how it all felt, I would usually end up having some "happy time" but only allowed it when I was ready to take it off.

Other things I tried were actually changing, not just wearing one nappy at a time and being done but putting another straight on again and holding off on that urge until much later. Not allowing myself to do it in a nappy at all, buying a few little toys to try different stimulation to focus the urges on.

Something that I think did help a fair bit was setting times for satisfying the urges for instance the "morning wood" situation. I'd put one on at bedtime and wear over night, I'd usually wet before sleeping and then upon waking would wet again and then satisfy myself knowing that I need to take the nappy off anyway or risk a rash. Having a designated time to pleasure yourself can help with the control aspect and again takes away a little from it being about the nappy itself.

This seemed to work somewhat, as time went on I was getting less aroused by the act of putting on a nappy but still had the need to take it off after satisfying the urge in a nappy. It's a mind over matter thing that you just push yourself through.

By my mid 20's I could still get aroused by thinking about nappies but could pretty much guarantee the little guy staying soft when getting changed (even on the few times I had someone else to change me which did surprise me a little) and even if I did end up doing the naughty in my nappy I could keep on wearing it without any unwanted feelings. Part of that I think came alongside my full acceptance that this is a part of me and that ABDL-ism is not a bad thing.

Just keep going and keep trying until you are comfortable enough with this part of you and it will happen.