how to confess to a roommate

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Miku

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When I move out I am moving into an appartment with a girl my age,while she is going to college I am getting a job to pay the rent.I want to wear diapers, but I am sick and tired of keeping it a secret.I want to tell her when we both move in but I don't know if she will accept it/me or reject it/me,we've been friends for 12 years now,best friends.Any tips?
 

Nicky

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Hmmm....well if she is your best friend, you would think she would accept you either way. But, this can be hard for some people to understand. Why do you want to tell her? What are you going to gain by telling her?

I'm personally not sure if I could ever a friend, for the reasons I just mentioned above. This is something that I find to be pretty private/intimate, and would only want to share with a significant other.
 

LittleFlint

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Sounds like she would be very accepting of the idea since you've been friends for that long. I know I definitly wouldn't totaly break it off just because of one thing that I might find wierd.

Still, examine how she thinks. Would you be able to talk about sex at anytime if the topic came up with her? If you guys can comfortably talk about sensitive topics together and not think much of it later on than I think she wouldn't mind.

If, however, you think she wouldn't want to hear about this from her best friend than no, save your face and your life! Often times though best friends are really understanding of eachothers little kinks or problems. But if you think she may take it badly, don't. Especially because if she knew and didn't like it (more like refuse to keep it private), she may go off telling others. Obvious results.

Just be very, very sure of EVERYTHING before going through with it.
 
E

Elli

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First, welcome to ADISC. :)

Hmm...so you're thinking first whether to tell her or not, and secondly, how to tell her if you choose to.

No one except you knows best how your friend might react, or the reasons for and against telling her. But, as a stranger seeking to be helpful, I might suggest being very careful that it is not merely the relief of telling some one that you are really after. The initial relief when you entrust a person with this info can be brilliant, especially if you have been keeping it a secret for a long time. But make sure you think of the long term consequences too. Long term, if might be just fine and a good decision to have spoken to her. Or, if might cause awkwardness. I realise I'm stating the obvious here, bear with me, I'm sort of thinking out loud.

If you decide it is a good idea to tell her, be aware that you don't have to reveal or describe every detail. For example, you might say you sometimes find it comforting to discreetly wear diapers. But you probably wouldn't describe the type, how you use and dispose of them, or any other unnecessary details. You might not even say you 'use' them. Also, your friend might like the chance to ask any questions she has.

Living with another person is quite an intimate thing, in the non-sexual way. For example, you share usage of a bathroom probably, you might see each other in night clothes etc... So, consider the already increased intimacy and how telling a personal thing might add to this. In addition, with this in mind, it might be best to keep the diapers unseen and discreet out of respect to your friend.

There is a chance that your friend will be totally relaxed about what you tell her, but your cautiousness is wise.

If I think of anything more that could be useful, I'll come back here. Otherwise, I hope your decision goes as well as it possibly can and your appartment-share makes for a good chilled out home. Take your time, but maybe let us know what you decide to do, later on, when the time comes.
 
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You could always have a conversation with her about something alittle wierd you found on the internet, and then you explain about AB, you thought it was strange first but after reading more about it like e.g. bittergreys den or when kids love diapers and see her reaction, if she doesnt think its to wierd you could tell her maybe about that you also are a *B/DL.
 
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Elli

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You could always have a conversation with her about something alittle wierd you found on the internet, and then you explain about AB, you thought it was strange first but after reading more about it like e.g. bittergreys den or when kids love diapers and see her reaction, if she doesnt think its to wierd you could tell her maybe about that you also are a *B/DL.

Brilliant idea about testing the ground first with some general chat about the subject. If you don't mind my hint though, I image that saying something like, 'I can be a bit like people who consider themselves AB/DL' or 'I sometimes like to wear diapers' might (or might not) be less of a bombshell than a more definite, 'I am a AB/DL'. Of course, you might consider yourself an AB or DL, but describing your desires or behaviour as a tendancy towards something might be easier for a person to get used to than an 'I am...'. Just a thought. But Mugiwara makes a really good suggestion though.
 

diaperedteenager

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Okay...I told my best female friend. I have been friends with her for 5 yrs. Now, I knew that she was

1. An open minded person
2. Not a Gossip
3. An Intellect
4. A very trustworthy Person

So, before you even think of telling your room mate evaluate her first, is she open mined, etc stuff like that.

Then I started to GENTLY bring up the subject to my friend. I linked her to the story on here "The Girl of My Dreams" and had her read it. That tested the water right there and that was the spearhead of my attack. If she responded well to that story I was going to go through with telling her, but if she reacted neg. about it, it was time to abourt the mission.

She reacted with "It was weird, I mean...IDK how many guys get off to being treated like a baby and how many girls go along with it" But I knew her tone when she was writing and that meant she thought it was weird but, hey everyone likes something different.

So I chatted with her on AIM about it for 3 hours and it ended up equating to 11 pages in MS word. In the end, she was very accepting of me. The line that kicked off the convo was this...

Did you read that story?
Ya
what did you think
It was odd, but everyone has their own likes, why did you like it?
Not the babying part, but the diapers...ya

and it went from there. She was accepting of who I was and best of all she DIDN'T sign out as soon as i told her! =)


I am glad I told her, b/c it has made us stronger friends. She learned about my biggest secret and she told me her biggest secret.

So, read your friend first, test the waters, then decide whether or not to tell her, b/c remember...once you tell her you can never un-tell her.
 

TenaTom

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I've been in a similar situation.
I've got a good female friend who I've known for about a year or 4 now (we first met 10 years ago or so, but didn't stay in touch). Since then our (just friends) relation has gotten very good, we can share (almost) everything with eachother. About 18 months ago I decided to tell her I've got a diaper fetish (yes, I was drunk). She took it very good. It was very hard for me to tell her, but I just wanted to, so she didn't ask much about it at that time, but was very accepting. We were about 18 years old then. A few months later we went to the same university about 100 kilometers from home (approximately 60 miles). After a few months, she got a room, I kept traveling between the university and my parents house (4 hours a day in public transport...). We both joined the same student society, so we saw eachother frequently, and of course kept in very good touch outside of that society. About a year ago, someone from our student society announced he was leaving his appartement, and was looking for two new tenants for his home. We decided to respond, and got the rooms (two bedrooms, shared bathroom and kitchen)! Everything is going fine since then , no problems about my diaper fetish.
At a certain sunday afternoon, I was planning to go to a meeting for ABs and DLs, so I told her I was leaving for the afternoon, and would be back at about 20:00. She asked me where I was going, so I told her: "A diaper meeting". "Ah, have fun, and see you tonight!" she told me.
When I got home, she started to ask some questions, she was just curious about it. She never knew there were diaper meetings and such. She also asked if I ever wore diapers (after my childhood of course). She didn't know I was wearing one at that time, and it was a Tena Slip Maxi! Apperantly she thought my fetish only included seeing woman in diapers. She asked some more questions, which I of course answered. She hasn't got any problems with my wearing diapers, so that turned out great! I know she has seen me in a diaper a few times, but she hasn't made a problem out of it. One time at night I was laying on the couch in my room, in just a diaper and T-shirt, browsing the internet on my laptop, when she suddenly came in. "Very charming" she said, with a smile. I responded whith "Thank you!", and she left. We both never mentioned it again, because it isn't very relevant :p

Anyway, this was my story about my experiences telling a friend, and sharing a home with her. It isn't exactly the same order of events you're expecting, but I thought it would be relevant.

If you should tell her or not is something only you can tell. We don't know what kinds of things you already shared, and how accepting she is. My friend and I already shared a lot about relations, people we liked, problems in relations, etcetera, so I thought it would turn out good. Anyway: good luck with telling her, or not. Please let us hear how it turned out!
 

Miku

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ok well instead of waiting till we move in i went ahead and told her today..we were in town all day looking around stores and i told her that i was going to buy some diapers to see what they felt like since i cant remember from when i was a baby.i threw a pair on (it felt so good and comfortable..) and said "wow they feel great,really comfortable and way more convenient than a bathroom,i'm going to wear these instead of underwear from now on,except for when i'm at work or at family dinners and maybe sometimes around the house i'll use boxers instead.i love diapers now." how she responded was totally unpredictable. her exact words were "that's weird..but then again we all have our own little secrets..you don't have to hide this one or act like you're just now liking diapers.everyone has their own thoughts and opinions and is weird,or different i guess i could add,in their own way.besides,aren't diapers just another kind of underwear that absorbs wettings?what you wear under your clothes is none of my business,i don't mind if you wear diapers." wow..can't say i saw that coming.she sorta knew??dang she's smart..thanks for all the great advice people,i did this at the end of the day in town since i had to "test the waters" and what not.all the pressure from wondering and being scared of what she might think was killing me but now that i have told her,its a load off my back.thanks again, everybody.i just wish i had friends like you in real life :) i don't think i could trust anybody else with my secret.i was hoping she'd be a AB/DL too but guess not,well at least she might be but hasnt told me..ill wait to get into that with her later on.once again,thanks.
 

LittleMonster

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ok well instead of waiting till we move in i went ahead and told her today..we were in town all day looking around stores and i told her that i was going to buy some diapers to see what they felt like since i cant remember from when i was a baby.i threw a pair on (it felt so good and comfortable..) and said "wow they feel great,really comfortable and way more convenient than a bathroom,i'm going to wear these instead of underwear from now on,except for when i'm at work or at family dinners and maybe sometimes around the house i'll use boxers instead.i love diapers now." how she responded was totally unpredictable. her exact words were "that's weird..but then again we all have our own little secrets..you don't have to hide this one or act like you're just now liking diapers.everyone has their own thoughts and opinions and is weird,or different i guess i could add,in their own way.besides,aren't diapers just another kind of underwear that absorbs wettings?what you wear under your clothes is none of my business,i don't mind if you wear diapers." wow..can't say i saw that coming.she sorta knew??dang she's smart..thanks for all the great advice people,i did this at the end of the day in town since i had to "test the waters" and what not.all the pressure from wondering and being scared of what she might think was killing me but now that i have told her,its a load off my back.thanks again, everybody.i just wish i had friends like you in real life :) i don't think i could trust anybody else with my secret.i was hoping she'd be a AB/DL too but guess not,well at least she might be but hasnt told me..ill wait to get into that with her later on.once again,thanks.

Probably not the smartest way to tell her, but it's good that she took it so well. And I highly doubt she's ABDL.

You friend isn't an idiot. She knows that people don't all of a sudden buy adult diapers and say, "OH THESE ARE WONDERFUL I NEVER WANT TO WEAR UNDERWEAR AGAIN." People have heard of diaper fetishes or just people being weird and wearing diapers because they want to. But I doubt anyone has heard of someone putting on a diaper and saying what you said.

Be more careful next time.
 

TenaTom

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Probably not the wisest way to tell her indeed, not that my way was very good; As I said in my previous post: Getting drunk and telling her. We were going out with some friends (we were all getting drunk...), and my friend and I were living close together, so I told her when we were on our way home.
 

LittleFlint

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ok well instead of waiting till we move in i went ahead and told her today..we were in town all day looking around stores and i told her that i was going to buy some diapers to see what they felt like since i cant remember from when i was a baby.i threw a pair on (it felt so good and comfortable..) and said "wow they feel great,really comfortable and way more convenient than a bathroom,i'm going to wear these instead of underwear from now on,except for when i'm at work or at family dinners and maybe sometimes around the house i'll use boxers instead.i love diapers now." how she responded was totally unpredictable. her exact words were "that's weird..but then again we all have our own little secrets..you don't have to hide this one or act like you're just now liking diapers.everyone has their own thoughts and opinions and is weird,or different i guess i could add,in their own way.besides,aren't diapers just another kind of underwear that absorbs wettings?what you wear under your clothes is none of my business,i don't mind if you wear diapers." wow..can't say i saw that coming.she sorta knew??dang she's smart..thanks for all the great advice people,i did this at the end of the day in town since i had to "test the waters" and what not.all the pressure from wondering and being scared of what she might think was killing me but now that i have told her,its a load off my back.thanks again, everybody.i just wish i had friends like you in real life :) i don't think i could trust anybody else with my secret.i was hoping she'd be a AB/DL too but guess not,well at least she might be but hasnt told me..ill wait to get into that with her later on.once again,thanks.

Wow, she knew already then! But still, really not the best way to tell her. At least it worked.

The fact that she said that you need not act like you've only just discovered it means she looked it up for sure. Wow, just wow. Your lucky... It looked like a pretty close call and at first I thought it would turn out bad. But no! Congrats! That must be a great feeling for you. Sadly, I can only dream of that feeling, :frown:.

Alot of us are still tempted to tell our parents/friends/roommates, I still recommend against it. But this thread should be remembered and brought up whenever someone gets this idea to tell there parents.

Again, I'm jelous of you very much right now. I can only dream...

Congrats on your success, hope you enjoy your new found freedom!



....Wow....
 

barkd74

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Glad it worked out for you. I have known m current roommate for over 10 years. I have never told her but who knows she might already know. Even if I did tell her, I don't think she would react in a negative way except poking fun at it.
 
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When I move out I am moving into an appartment with a girl my age,while she is going to college I am getting a job to pay the rent.I want to wear diapers, but I am sick and tired of keeping it a secret.I want to tell her when we both move in but I don't know if she will accept it/me or reject it/me,we've been friends for 12 years now,best friends.Any tips?

Are you just roommates? Keep your trap shut then--you can do what you please in your room, as it's your private space, but it's bad form to put this into common and shared space.

If this is a girlfriend, you need to let her know as soon as you think things between the two of you gets serious. Certainly before you're intimate.

If you really, really, MUST tell her right now, then you have to let her know BEFORE you move in together. And she may well bail, as she can live in the dorms if she pleases.

Okay, I see that you've already gone ahead and told her. As others have indicated, this was a pretty reckless way to go. I guess she's okay with the smell of urine and/or baby powder in an apartment she shares. I would not assume that she's AB/DL from this, just not thinking ahead to possibly wanting to have friends or boyfriends over.
 

Gingy

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I would have just told her I wet the bed... It's understandable, and most people wouldn't throw that around (as much as they would like to).
 
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