How much do DLs and ABs mix in real life?

[soren456]

A member noted in another thread ("Would you go out in public dressed as an AB?") that he didn't think ABs and DLs would (or do) mix much in real life.

Is that true? How do you come by your opinion?

In my case, I've only attended a couple "diaper" parties, so-named because diapers were the common bond. Attendees were a mix of *Bs and DLs, and the number formed a nice little party.

But in retrospect, I do think I noticed that the two types sort of loosely clumped with each other. Is that true in your experience?

I suspect that *Bs and DLs are so small in number that to have a party, you need to invite both. But if we had greater numbers, I wonder if we'd have DL-only parties and *B-only parties. Or do we already have this separation?

Please respond.

 

[aj1983]

But in retrospect, I do think I noticed that the two types sort of loosely clumped with each other. Is that true in your experience?

Yes, we're all just one big happy family :grouphug: Most meets ive been too theres a mix of TBs/ABs and DL's. But i think if you are a TB/AB you are more likly to end up at meets with more of them present, and if you are a DL you probably end up at meets with more of them there.

But i've never heard in all my time in this community of someone being told they couldn't come to a meet because they were just a AB or just a DL :smile1: I don't see why the need would come up for only AB and only DL parties, but I guess i could see the people in the community who only wear for need might want to have meets without us ABs and DLs around :smile1:

 

[NEJay]

Attendees were a mix of *Bs and DLs, and the number formed a nice little party.

Yep, pretty much (have you met any of the peeps from around here?). In my experience there has never really been a clash of personalities, though the g2g's I plan are definitely less "fetish centric" than others... Parties that I've been to elsewhere have had things like a story time, and other activities that are AB centric, and there really isn't an issue. Those that aren't interested simply don't participate, and normally there are plenty of other things to do.

I think a lot of people in the thread you reference get the wrong picture about "dressing up in public as an AB". 9 times out of 10 this means wearing a shirt and overalls/shortalls, or something of that ilk. People dressing up like that guy that died recently (can't remember his name) is definitely extremely rare.

 

[soren456]

. . . I think a lot of people in the thread you reference get the wrong picture about "dressing up in public as an AB". 9 times out of 10 this means wearing a shirt and overalls/shortalls, or something of that ilk. People dressing up like that guy that died recently (can't remember his name) is definitely extremely rare.

Glad to know that, because I have seen photos of public "munches" and meet-ups, in places like pizza parlors, that involved high chairs and baby bonnets and plushies and such, and there's not a chance in the world I'd stick around a scene like that.

Now, back to the thread . . . .

 

[mizzycub]

I've only been to one real meet and there weren't that many people. Thinking back to it, I hadn't been around so long - didn't really know who was *B and who was DL. I just got round and talked to everybody. At some points groups sorta formed, but that was more based of physical age than anything. Now I know these people better I am pretty sure it wasn't based off tending towards *B or DL.

Then again I've only been to one meet and there weren't so many people, so I can't really be sure.

 

[Trevor]

I recall reading a personal account a while back on another forum talking about this. Not only were the two groups separate, but the DLs were sort of getting sneered at (or at least that's what the poster felt) for lack of sufficient committment. Personally, I haven't experienced this, although the meets I attended were really not much about diapers and more just about people with a common interest getting together to see new faces. Regardless of their particular take on this, everyone was dressed normally. Perhaps if it had gotten more involved I'd have seen people separate more.

 

[angelabauer]

Back in October 1990, a week after my youngest sister Missy told me about Adult Babies, she mentioned there was going to be two costume parties in West Hollywood, CA for Halloween. She was then a movie costumer, a person who does the sewing and also helps performers get dressed on the set. She had made herself a cute Onesies. Missy said she could make me a matching Onesies if I wanted to go with her.

At each of those parties there were several other big baby costumes, but none realistic. Almost certainly we were the only ones using our diapers. An hour into the second party a guy wearing a little boy outfit asked if I would like to attend a DPF party the next weekend. Lucky I had just read about that club. I said I sure would love to participate. Talking to that guy, Chris Taylor, it turned out he was an associate attorney with a different law firm. He explained he was gay but had nothing against women. Chris told me this was his first Halloween in California so he was not sure how many other AB were at those costume parties.

Once I started going to the monthly DPF parties largely organized by Chris I learned more about DL. They were a small minority. According to Chris the DL tended to be less social. Ever since then my experience is that AB usually want people to play with them whereas DL can have a solo fantasy. Only at a couple of parties have guys deliberately avoided talking to me after they found out I am a woman.

When my husband and I started orgainzing events similar to what these days are called "munches" the co-host who did the mailing was a gay DL who was friends with everyone.

 

[Charlie]

It is strange that infantilism contains so many sub-groups.
People who just have a diaper fetish are very different to people who experience *Bism as something non-sexual, and they are very different to people who are *B/DL through BDSM type stuff.

I wonder how many people on this site just don't get the appeal of acting babyish, or find sissies insane, or would never dream of wearing feet-PJs.

I don't have real life experience of this, but I imagine that groups inevitably form just because of different interests.

If a large group of film lovers met up, I bet the big horror fans would find each other, those more into to comedy would group, etc...

 

[angelabauer]

It is strange that infantilism contains so many sub-groups.
People who just have a diaper fetish are very different to people who experience *Bism as something non-sexual, and they are very different to people who are *B/DL through BDSM type stuff.

I wonder how many people on this site just don't get the appeal of acting babyish, or find sissies insane, or would never dream of wearing feet-PJs.

I don't have real life experience of this, but I imagine that groups inevitably form just because of different interests.

If a large group of film lovers met up, I bet the big horror fans would find each other, those more into to comedy would group, etc...

Charlie,
Missy and her husband John, my husband Don and I are part of a local Hollywood AB bunch which includes 3 other couples. None of us identify as DL. Yet all of us have in-person DL friends.

At film festivals and forums, you are also correct. Fans of one style have little to say to fans of different styles. I happen to like all kinds of entertaining films, but I can only intelligently discuss post 1990 films. Don and his family seldom went to movies in the 1930s and 1940s. He started working for a movie studio in 1951, so for many years he only had time to see the films of his studio. So Don concentrates on catching up. Sometimes he is less clear about a new film we say yesterday and can go on and on about something on TCM that has never been on VHS or DVD starring 1930s character performers. Only people Don's age fully get it.

Much to my surprise Don was correct about "The Cat's Paw" starring and by Harold Lloyd featuring Una Merkel. It deals with political corruption, was made in 1934 and still resonates. Maybe I should devote more time to these old films!

 

[secretdl26]

A member noted in another thread ("Would you go out in public dressed as an AB?") that he didn't think ABs and DLs would (or do) mix much in real life.

That would be me.

As some others have noted earlier, the mix of ABs and DLs can depend on how each views their connection to their fetish. As far as I can see, an AB fetish can be more outward (i.e. public AB dress) versus a DL wearing a diaper under normal clothes.

If I were at a munch with ABs in normal dress, along with DLs, I would not feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. If there were ABs in infantilist clothes I might feel less inclined to be there.

To all ABs, don't take this as an attack, it's simply how I feel.

 

[dogboy]

I think I'm like you secretdl26. I'm both a DL and an AB. If I put on a diaper, a part of me instantly starts to regress. It's just a mental thing, but I don't think I would be very comfortable with a bunch of adults dressed as babies and carrying on, so to speak. What I do is more personal, and totally confined to the privacy of my own home.

By the way, since your avatar is that of Secret Squirrel, which played on TV back when I was a kid, how did you come across it? Does it still play on TV? If so, I would love to see them again. I guess that's my way of going back, so to speak.

 

[Rheeer]

Yeah, I think the two are usually kept separate. The DLs generally think the ABs act weird and babyish, and the ABs often think the DLs take their sweet purdy pastime and sexualize it. lol

But parties can exist because of the common paraphilia, even if the two groups use the fetishized item differently. That's obviously painted in black and white terms; of course there are grey areas and people who are sort of between column A and B.

 

[annierighthurr]

From my own experience into the BDSM lifestyle and exploring ageplay sans diapers, I would have to say that there is probably more separation between ABs and DLs then you think. There are tons of ageplay "munches" and parties where diaper fetishists are not welcome, simply because the focus is usually a daddy/little girl or mommy/boy type of relationship, which is the way it sways in the world of BDSM ageplay. A simple DL would just not fit in that scene.

On that same note, there are also plenty of age-players who do not like the extremity they think adult babies are either. There are also a lot more DLs then ABs who just have absolutely no desire to meet other people as well, except for perhaps a partner who can take part in the sexual aspect.

I think ABs and DLs stick together as a community because they are closely related, and many DLs really do turn to the "darkside" (AB). But really, when you dig deep, they could not be more different then day and night.

 

[Tsendo]

In my experience ABs or DLs tend to be one and the same when in social situations. Just like on ADISC the difference don't really hold any significance.

 

[Sam I am]

I have never met anyone else in person before