How many have told a therapist about their AB/DL side?

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theQman

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If anyone read my recent post, you probably know I'm seeing a therapist soon for depression and bunch of other issues. I also fully intend to tell them about my AB/DL side at some point, the thought of which still makes me pretty uncomfortable. I've seen quite a few people on here talk about how they've told their therapists, so I'm wondering a few things;

Can you just tell any therapist about this? I know there are ones that specialize in sexual disorders and what not, but that's not an option for me, so will a regular one be okay with discussing something like this or will it freak them out? I was also wondering how you brought the issue up with them. It seems like it would be awkward to just bring up randomly.

Another issue is that I'm applying to work at a preschool and intend on working with children in the future, and this will certainly come up. I'm worried they might get really freaked out about the nature of this fetish (and, worst case scenario, report me), even if I explicitly tell them it has nothing to do with pedophilia.

Also I'd love to just hear how they took it when you told them, or what your experience was like overall. Any advice or experiences would be really awesome.
 

WildRoseBaby

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Unless they know a lot about fetishes and they think yours is causing you issues it will probably be a very short conversation. I don't know what the laws are but a therapist calling the cops on a client needs to have a damn good reason. I am not even sure if directly confessing to being a pedophile would be enough.
 

Premetheus

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I've told my therapist but... it was not on my part. My mother discovered proof of it and told him because she was concerned. I was not and am not happy about it but what can I do? What's done is done.
 

Tyger

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I have told three

The first one was a religious zealot, and homophobe, who probably thought he was a gift to the world in providing identity conversion. When I told him I was an Adult baby, he looked at me with a sly bastard smile to tell me that everything about this lifestyle is bad, even down to having more than one or two stuffed animals. In the end I quit seeing him because he was being a manipulative liar.

The second one was also the same religion, but had the decency to actually put research into his work. When I told him, it turned out that he had already met one Adult baby not long before, and had taken the time already to study about it. He just asked me about what it means to me, what my life goals were, and how I imagined this side of myself playing in my personal and relational life. He was really chill about it, told my parents it was no big deal, and then let me know that my parents were not happy with his conclusion. Because of all of this, I'd say his reaction was slightly surprised, but not because he had never heard of it, but because he probably didn't expect to meet another one so soon. Also he just seemed un-bothered.

The third was a psychologist I chose to go to on my own after I quit my religion, which created mass chaos, this was a time when I actually did need a psychologist. This time, it was a lady, who I chose because I had a small list of student subsidized councilors to choose from, and I wanted one that seemed liberal. Since she had the base of her experience in helping lgbt, I figured she sounded like what I was looking for. She acted really intrigued, and just listened a lot, and tossed in questions here and there. She was really accepting of it, and could discuss the complexities of it that it presented with my life, but in a way that wasn't discouraging me from maintaining my lifestyle. I don't think it was a thing that she nessisarily felt like she was uncomfortable talking about, but I think it was something she didn't see as being a problem, so not really worth spending too much time on, vs spending time talking about how I could approach my family problems, and life problems.



So there you go. I think it is totally worth talking to a therapist about, because it helps them get a little bit more incite into something that actually has a major affect on your life. I mean, you are going into a career where you are worried that people will find out about your personal life, and then use it against you. That is an unnatural amount of stress that you don't deserve, and that really is illogical because the premise is false, however you have to fear it because people are illogical and love false ideas. Another reason why it might be useful is because maybe they will be able to understand some of the methods that you use to calm yourself down and relax. I think it is useful incite. It also might help with them being able to understand some of your past experiences better, and in what manner you processed thoughts.

The good thing about talking to a therapist about this, is they are required by law not to talk about it to anybody. However, there are acceptations to that rule, basically being, if they think you are a threat to somebody else, or yourself. Unfortunately, you might get a moron therapist who worries about this very thing, and does exactly what you fear. I think the likelihood of this happening though is pretty low, because a lot of therapist have to be open to ideas, in order to properly understand how people think. They also would have to feel like you are actually having pedophilic thoughts and are showing signs of loss of self control. That is at least what I would suspect anyway, I can't say that I know 100% on this, so don't take my word for it. What I would suggest is, ask them what the patient confidentiality laws consist of, and what are behaviors they watch for in deciding that they are justified in spilling the beans, then decide for yourself if you are comfortable telling while you are also making way for a job in a kindergarten. As well, I'd say that you probably want to use some street smarts, and just look at them and ask yourself if they seem at least a bit liberal minded. If they seem like the type to tell you, "Homosexuals should be cured," then I wouldn't tell them, in fact, I'd leave them and find somebody else, because they need mental help. Ask them things, like what are their opinions on things like fetishes, homosexuality, alternative lifestyles (maybe furries for example), and see how they react.
 

dogboy

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Tyger beat me to it, that a psychologist, or any medical counselor has to abide by HIPA and not divulge any information about you. And again he's right, that he might go to the authorities if he thought you were a threat to others. He might have you committed if he had good reasons to believe you were a threat to yourself, such as suicide. All of these actions would have to be supported by compelling evidence.

I told this before, but during my senior year in college, I drove home for dinner, and during dinner, I started crying and couldn't stop. I had a psychotic break when I was 12 years old and I was having another at age 22. My mom made an appointment for me with a psychiatrist close to Princeton where I was going to school. I went back to school, and while I was gone, she searched my room, discovering my diapers and gay porn.

The psychiatrist's office was in a large, residential mental facility. I had to talk about infantalism and my homosexuality. I had also tried to commit suicide on two occasions, so he gave me his home phone number, should I be in crises again. I went to him a couple of times, but I knew my mom and dad couldn't afford the sessions. I also was afraid I was going to be committed as I was showing all the signs of being Borderline Personality. I eventually recovered, but much of that happened because I graduated from college and changed my entire lifestyle. It took several years, but I've been much better. I still suffer from depression, but it's endurable.

As for my psychiatrist, he told me I'd outgrow the desire for diapers....so we can all laugh about that. He was much more concerned about my homosexuality as it was illegal in 1970 and you could be put into a mental facility against your will. How times have changed!
 

Tyger

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Tyger beat me to it,

He was much more concerned about my homosexuality as it was illegal in 1970 and you could be put into a mental facility against your will. How times have changed!

That rarely happens, you usually respond to things quite fast.

The fact that those kind of things happened still makes me really upset with the humanity of not long ago. I have a hard time believing that the world is getting worse off when we are able to put those kind of stupid inhumane laws down.
 
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Well, Tyger really got all the info in already. I've never seen a therapist, so I don't have much to add on the substantive front. I think, generally with people, it's good to get to know them and trust them before you go into too much detail and I think therapists are no exception. You can bring it up on a third or fourth visit, especially if it's not directly related to major issues (like, if you were explicitly seeing a sex therapist then you should bring it up because that's the whole point).

Also with the confidentiality, those rules are pretty strict. The person would, themselves, get in huge trouble if they reported you to the authorities just for divulging a fetish. You don't need to worry about that.
 

Aidy

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I told two of mine. The first one didn't put much stock in it and it was a very short conversation that went nowhere.

The second one has been brilliant.

If you want to avoid any awkward part to the conversation I recommend writing it down and sending them a letter before a session so they have time to think on it and research it.

And therapists can only tell people if someone is going to be harmed I think. I worked as a teacher and work in a caring role now and her only concern is how nervous it makes me feel. That someone might find out and draw the wrong conclusions. We've had whole sessions of her breaking down that idea in me to it's origins.

I fully recommend telling your therapist. Even if they don't need to talk about it it informs them about your personality and possible childhood issues that may have led to your current problems.
 

Jeremiah

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Most of the mental health professionals who have helped me were professional. I have mentioned an interest in bondage a number of times and wearing diapers during those times, but have not specifically mentioned a DL interest. An interest in self-bondage was considered perfectly fine by each person that heard of it. My current psychiatrist is at risk of being replaced and does not hear my thoughts and interests so freely. Ask them questions and the answer appears.
 

Ebonybaby

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I'm currently seeing a counselor and I'm here to tell you, it's been a hellish journey for me. Does anyone have any idea what it's like to actually look at life through the eyes of the "child" you've been for years, only to have to grow up rapidity in a years' time? I was extremely ignorant for years and even as I type this now, I still have a lot to learn. I've had to learn that you can't control the feelings of others. I've had to learn that experiences that might have been simple to me, may not be as much to the next person. I've had to learn that everyone has some sort of problem or issues going on, no matter how great they can carry themselves. I had to stop mind reading and thinking people had a problem with me for one reason or another and even worse, I had to learn to stop worrying what people thought about me at all. This might sound like simple stuff to most, but there's other problems I never realize I had, that once I came to terms with them, I've been having a really rough way to go.

To get back on topic though, AB/DL has played a significant part in my life and I couldn't tell my story if I left it out. Not only do my counselor know about it, we also have conversations about it from time to time as a primary focus. I once read a post which said "unless you are actively looking to rid yourself of AB/DL, then you are probably wasting your time seeking therapy." I don't know if I believe all that, but I can tell you this, I've been in the worse depression I've ever been in my life. At one point just over a month ago, I tried using the "Prozac" I was given to commit suicide; hell, I've been taken off it ever since and I still think everyday "which tree should I hit to end this all." AB/DL along side video games (and work, when things are going well) are the only three that distract me just enough to take my mind off ending my life.

AB/DL is the biggest portion which relieves my stress, but it came with a cost. Although all of my friends and family know about it, I don't get to do it much, because I live next door to my in-laws, who (although I love them to death), won't give me a full day to myself most of the time and I usually find myself "on call" for one thing or another on my days off. This has led to an alarming increase of my infantilism getting out of hand, especially while I was on "Prozac." I constantly pray to God or wish for aliens to return me back to infant form (normally I would never type something like that here, because I'd probably get my head ripped off for it, but life is different for me now and instead of running from problems, I try to address them). Within the past two years, I've created two Facebook accounts regarding my "baby" side, which a good number of my co-workers are on, with the risk of losing less than a handful. I've thrown myself two "baby" themed parties which they seemed to really enjoy, but the "worse" of it all, was while on "Prozac", I came out as an adult baby on my vanilla profile and while I didn't get into big trouble for it, I didn't hear the end of it from family members. Which............is funny now that I think back on it, because everyone around my age group absolutely loved it, but that's besides the point. Anyway, the very next day I got up and thought about what I did and at that point, is when I tried to commit suicide, because I wasn't sure just how much I had fucked up my life and I just knew I failed the family members who were concerned about me. The worse part is, everyday since that dark morning, I constantly wonder if it was "me" who felt the need to be "out" or if it was it the influence of the medication and to be blunt honest, I really don't have a clue ether way, which scares me.

My counselor knows about everything I just posted here and then some, to say the very least and it's been a God send that I could talk to her and tell her things I probably wouldn't tell God himself. So my point is, if it plays a huge part of your life, it's not like a counselor could go back and discus these matters with someone else, as I was told I shouldn't hold anything back and I'm extremely happy I didn't. Normally I'm way too shy to talk about such things and for that, my counselor came up with the idea of writing, which has become a major communicate tool for me, to be able to "get out" exactly what I want to say, without feeling self-conscious about it. I don't know about others here who have had the guts to tell their counselors about AB/DL, but as comfortable as I am with my counselor now, for some reason it still feels like a taboo subject, but she's awesome and every open-minded in her "view" of things.

Bottom-line, if it's not a major problem or if it doesn't tie into any issues which you are there to see your counselor in the first place, then if that wasn't the case for me, I probably would have never brought it up, which is my adult way of thinking. Playing devil's advocate with myself though, knowing the state of mine I'm in, I'm so worse off with AB/DL dangerously trying to take over my life, I most likely would have brought it up to the counselor, just knowing that I could have a casual conversation about it, for no given reason and to consider the fact that these session are "pay for", it would be pretty stupid of me.

I can't tell anyone what to say or what not to say to their counselors, because it's not my right or my business. In my case though (and I'm sure if you made it this far), as you can see, I have a MAJOR reason to.

I hope this helps and I'm God awful sorry if this became a rambling mess.
 

HokieABDL

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I told my Headshrinker and had no problems. 99.99% of psychologists have their head on straight themselves and know that paraphiles are paraphiles and fetishes are fetishes and nothing is wrong with them. They also know what a real pedophile is and are guaranteed to know that we are not pedophiles. Let's just say: if a professional psychologist got you in trouble in your career for something that they did not need to, they would need to worry a hundredfold about their own career. They would not make a move like that unless they are verrrrry sure that they had no choice.

Don't worry about it. Pick a mainstream shrink. They can be religious and still have their head on straight, but don't pick a shrink that was referred to you by a "your sinfulness made you that way" type leader or they will give you that kind of counselor. I am religious and have my head on straight. My shrink was a saved Christian too.
 

caitianx

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My present Mental Healthcare Therapist knows I am an Adult Baby.
 

egor

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I see a lot of good advice here, so to add my two cents, It totally depends on the relationship with the therapist. IF you really trust them, then it would be something to bring up when it is relevant to the therapy path you are on.

For me it was at a point that I was having a lot of anxiety issues and I was just starting a binge cycle after an 8 year purge cycle. I trusted her, and we both learned about Paraphilia Infantilism at the same time. One we figured out it was a PTSD issue we turned in on its head and made it a coping mechanism.
 

WBxx

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Feeling guilty and depressed, I told a therapist about my interest in diapers and wetting years ago. His response was something to the effect “everyone’s different, I wouldn’t worry about it”. And basically from that day forward I’ve accepted myself.
 

caitianx

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My own present therapist understands that I am a non-sexual Adult Baby. She told me, that she has several other clients who are Adult Babies.

As others here have said, some therapists are understanding about being an Adult Baby and the reasons for it, and others are not okay with Adult Baby Behavior.

It all depends upon the individual psychological therapist person.
 

CrazySmoker

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I've no reason to do it. As I haven't any why do to a shrink. I deal with my crap alone. Guess it's because one of my GFs is shrink... and very bad.

I let her "found out" and... she used that for everything, but not good.
 

Sanch

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I told my last therapist about ABDL and he was of the opinion that as it didn't prevent me from functioning as an adult, it wasn't a problem. I think anyone with decent psychological knowledge and training is aware that fetishes and lifestyle choices only become problematic when they take over a person's life or damage their relationships.

It's like anything else, ABDL is only an issue when it's overly prominent, thus tangentially leading to issues with your psychology/relationships/functioning - it's not a problem in and of itself.
 

BabyMitchy

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A mental health practitioner is a human being. As are all humans, they are untrustworthy and unpredictable. I've seen therapists handle ABDL with OMG that is wrong and you have a problem and I have seen them embrace it.

That's right. Total opposite ends of the spectrum.

The bottom line?

They are just people. They don't have the answers. They have opinions.

The real solution to your problems comes from inside of you. You have to believe in yourself and know who you are in life.
 

FeekaDimension

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My mom brought up my diapers when she and my therapist were talking one day, and my therapist thought it was an unhealthy coping method because she thought that I regressed much more often than I did in order to avoid dealing with real life. (I don't)

A few sessions later I explained it more thoroughly to her as a coping technique, a hobby, and a lifestyle. She concluded that it wasn't a problem as long as it wasn't getting in the way of me functioning in an adult world, which it doesn't. The topic really hasn't come up again since.
 

caitianx

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My mom brought up my diapers when she and my therapist were talking one day, and my therapist thought it was an unhealthy coping method because she thought that I regressed much more often than I did in order to avoid dealing with real life. (I don't)

A few sessions later I explained it more thoroughly to her as a coping technique, a hobby, and a lifestyle. She concluded that it wasn't a problem as long as it wasn't getting in the way of me functioning in an adult world, which it doesn't. The topic really hasn't come up again since.

Well put.
My being an Adult Baby is a cognitive coping mechanism to keep me from going off the deep end and really going cuckoo.
 
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