How long did it take you to accept it?

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AdorbzLittleGirl

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For those that don't know or haven't read my profile about it, I was somewhat diagnosed with overflow incontinence. I have a tendency to "wet" my undies when I don't need to go. There are also times when I do have to go, and I can't make it to the bathroom in time... so I often dribble. I already spoke to my doctor about it as well. So, she is aware of the issue going on. The biggest problem for me is also that I'm overweight. She thinks this is what contributes to me having "overflow incontinence". It's kind of difficult for me to accept it because I don't really like it right now. I have to wear incontinence pads, constantly change said pads and all that. It's just not a very pleasant thing for me to have to handle...

How long did it take you to accept that you were incontinent? This is basically for anyone who's only like me to those who are also fully incontinent for whatever reason!
 

Slomo

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I became urge incontinent after a bad car wreck. I've also been a dl since even before my earliest memory. You'd think I would have been estatic to finally have had an "excuse" to wear.

Well, I'm kind of ashamed to say it took me a full decade to accept it though. Somehow my wanting to be diapered made me feel guilty in spite of truly needing them. I did everything I could to keep thrm as hidden as much as possible- in spite of having a girlfriend then wife who herself fully accepted my diaper needs.

It wasn't until I was able to finally accept being a dl that I was able to also accept being incontinent. I know now how silly and stupid that was, but it was like I was falling for every misconception for adult diapers out there. Now I just try to get everyone else to see how silly and stupid hiding them is too.
 

Rob110

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With incontinence every one gets to te acceptance stage at different times, but once you find a diaper that handles your volume and you learn to trust it managing gets easier. I wear Betterdry diapers and they have proven to be absorbant and reliable.

remember you are not alone in dealing with bladder issues and needing to wear diapers as an adult hopefully if you loose a bit of weight it may help stop your bladder issues .
 

OmiOMy

A padded elfin enby
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It is still an uphill battle for me. On the one hand I'm partly at peace with the fact that I have found a solution to the problem. On the other hand part of my head takes it as a personal failing when I wake up with a wet bed (on nights when I think I'm in control enough to forego a diaper) or diaper. One day I'll be there.
 

Missy1

Born PROUD prissy Sissy/ LG / Little /AB
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For me i had no choice in the matter then to accept it so it took me no time BUT that DONT mean i love this i HATE it but i think like what can i do about it ? The best thing i can do is to accept adapt and move on
 

downtide

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I'm fully incontinent; I have overflow incontinence due to fairly severe retention; I can't pee voluntarily on my own at all so I have to use intermittent catheters to empty my bladder on a regular schedule. If I don't, my bladder will fill up and then just start constantly leaking as it fills, because of the pressure. But even when I do, it still leaks at random times even when it's not full. So I still wear nappies all the time as well. The catheters help though; some days I don't leak at all, whereas without them it would be constant.

In my case it came on very suddenly after a UTI but my urologist thinks it's probably related to a spinal injury I had years before. And because it was so sudden, like 0-100 in the space of a week, I never had that period of denial or thinking that I could get away with it "just for today". It took six months before I was put onto catheters and those six months were pretty much hell. No control at all, constant leaking, getting through five or six nappies every day, having to change at work at least two or three times every day.

The catheters were an instant improvement but at that stage my urologist still thought that I'd be able to regain control. After a year he changed his mind and said I would probably need them for life. I think that was the point I actually accepted it; when it stopped being something that I hoped would go away and became something that will be part of my life for ever.

Being incontinent has never stopped me doing anything I wanted to do. I have to work around it but it's a small price to pay for comfort and dry clothes, and I find it relatively easy to manage. I'm fortunate not to be bowel incontinent as well; I do have bowel issues (due to the same injury) but again it's more a retention problem and while I've had a handful of messy accidents over the past few years, they are few and far between. I have maybe two a week and I don't have a lot of control over them, and I can't stop one if it wants to happen, but they happen so slowly it's very rare that I can't get to a toilet in time.

So I'd say it took around 12 to 18 months to fully accept it as "my normal". I'll never love it, and I'll always wish it would just go away, but I've accepted that it won't, and I just have to get on with my life.
 
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I can only wish that my incontinence was a result of weight or other problems. It's painful for me to talk about why I am incontinent and I still have nightmares about the reason why I am incontinent. It gets easier with tine to accept yourself that you need diapers for your incontinence. I've accepted that I need them; just never fully understood or accepted why my attacker did what he did to me that resulted in my incontinence and need for diapers full time.
 

LonelyFOX

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I'm still struggling with this!, It's very awful using diapers instead of regular underwear. I have sleep paralysis and then I don't make it to the washroom at night and then I sleep on always discreet boutique!. Because the Tena men's underwear are quite bigger for me and the depend silhouette active fit didn't absorb enough during the night then I didn't have any other choice than to use always discreet underwear.....................
(Spring is coming up and I would wish to wear men's Puma underwear rather than older women's protective underwear)
 

alwayz

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Though I'm not fully incontinent, I have had several "accidents" when wearing my underwear with a pad. I feel that although I try to "hold it" I cannot for long and I leak, sometimes more than just a little and I am more fearful when I'm not wearing a diaper. I wear 24/7 now, and will start wearing a diaper at work. I believe that my bladder relaxes so much that I only have several minutes before I pee. Any thoughts?
 

Wetshisbed

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I would say within 6 months I had accepted it. My wife helped me a lot. She told me straight to stop moaning about it. "For God's sake just wear nappies and get on with your life". After a while I realised actually she was right.
 

Inconinmiss

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I became incontinent as the result of excessive bleeding and an infection following surgery when I was 14 years. I’ve never been dry at night since then and needed to wear daytime diapers through the first three years of high school. I was able to get by without a daytime diaper during university and for 20 or so years after that. But the frequency of my daytime leakage increased to the point that I had to start wearing a diaper 24/7 about 30 years ago.

Acceptance has been a long and ongoing process for me. It was very tough needing to wear a diaper to high school. I did it, but I actively hated the cloth diapers and plastic pants that I had to wear and more or less became a hermit because I couldn’t accept being around and socializing with people outside of the school day. I was enormously relieved when I got to the point that i could go without a daytime diaper, but the nighttime issues made dating and being intimate with someone very difficult. And having to go back to wearing daytime diapers 30 years ago was very difficult. Accepting these things has been and still is an ongoing process. I have observed that, in comparison with many other disabilities, incontinence is a comparatively mild problem. Unlike people with some disabilities, I can go anywhere and do virtually anything I want to do. That fact helps me not to feel sorry for myself. I have made buying the products I need and carrying around spare diapers to change into when it’s necessary a routine part of my life that I no longer think about very much. I just do what I have to do to lead an active life. Modern high-capacity disposable diapers have made things much easier than having to deal with cloth diapers. And somewhat like Slomo, I have learned to enjoy certain aspects of diaper wearing. Nevertheless, I certainly wish that I did not need to have diapers as a part of my life.
 

Slomo

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I'm still struggling with this!, It's very awful using diapers instead of regular underwear. I have sleep paralysis and then I don't make it to the washroom at night and then I sleep on always discreet boutique!. Because the Tena men's underwear are quite bigger for me and the depend silhouette active fit didn't absorb enough during the night then I didn't have any other choice than to use always discreet underwear.....................
(Spring is coming up and I would wish to wear men's Puma underwear rather than older women's protective underwear)

The reason why diapers suck so badly for you is because you aren't using the right diapers. Actually, right now you aren't even using diapers at all. Absorbent underwear does suck. Get something that is actually good enough you can trust it will not leak. You can't go wrong with Northshore supreme, Confidry24/7, or Betterdry.
 

PlotTwist

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I have observed that, in comparison with many other disabilities, incontinence is a comparatively mild problem. Unlike people with some disabilities, I can go anywhere and do virtually anything I want to do. That fact helps me not to feel sorry for myself.
I was having a tough time accepting it as well, but when I came to this same conclusion it made it a lot easier to deal with. I have also been a DL since before I can remember, but when I became IC a lot of shame followed it. "Am I making this up? Is it REALLY this bad?". That was a lot tougher to get over, and has largely diminished my DL tendencies (hence I've removed it from my ADISC profile), but it still pops back in every once in a while. I'd say all in all, my journey to acceptance wasn't all at once, but I got over most of it in 6mos-1yr, then felt truly at peace with it another year later. The "DGAF" stage of acceptance is so liberating, haha.
 

Andrewgdfw

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I believe that my bladder relaxes so much that I only have several minutes before I pee. Any thoughts?

My thoughts follow that pattern quite well. It's an important reason why I wear maximum absorbency diapers and boosters. Many an occasion has made this
decision a requirement -- on a daily basis.
 

alwayz

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You are right I am so fearful of an uncontrollable leak that wearing a diaper daily and at night is the only solution

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Maux

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Well, my incontinence has been something that I've always had, I didn't suffer it later in life, so acceptance wasn't really the issue for me. It's just a thing that is for me. It'd be like asking when I accepted I had blue eyes or something, lol.

Now, it took a long time for my family to really accept that it's not a thing that's going away, growing up my parents were always told I might grow out of it. I just never did. It was probably around 8th grade before my parents really got on board with the idea that it wasn't something that was gonna get better for me.

And it wasn't until I got married that I stopped trying to keep it hidden as much as humanly possible and started talking about it more openly with people. Even though the internet really helped my confidence level, it was still something I thought random people would be unable to grasp or that they'd judge me for it. She convinced me that it was silly to think that way about a disability.

But as far as just accepting that it was a thing? I'm not sure that question is really relevant to me.
 

redhawkpath

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I was left incontinent after a minor motorcycle accident . I was in the let lane making a turn and did not notice the antifreeze on the ground and next hing i hit the ground. I did have full leather on and a helmet so i was properly protected but my bottom hit the curb and i had some internal injuries that left me incontinent. leathers saved my skin but still needed a day in the hospital.

went hoe with a catheter for about two weeks, but after i was just leaking. Kelgels for about 2 months but no help. It only took me about a month to get used to diapers and i just accepted it after the kegels were not doing anything. I hated it at first as I have totally lost control of a part of my body. But i got used to not having to pee anywhere. I found the diapers I trust and it is just part
of life.
 

alwayz

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You are right I am so fearful of an uncontrollable leak that wearing a diaper daily and at night is the only solution

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Today i'm wearing a cloth diaper at work. I used to wear underwear with a pad, but frequent "accidents" have made me resort to wearing a diaper 24/7. I am not concerned about people noticing, but relieved that now i will avoid embarrasing accidents

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ClaudTheBear

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Today i'm wearing a cloth diaper at work. I used to wear underwear with a pad, but frequent "accidents" have made me resort to wearing a diaper 24/7. I am not concerned about people noticing, but relieved that now i will avoid embarrasing accidents

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Good for you alwayz. You must have taken some really good advise from a really smart person. Let us know how it worked out for you.
 

alwayz

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Good for you alwayz. You must have taken some really good advise from a really smart person. Let us know how it worked out for you.
yes I did

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