How is it so easy to get so hated?

[BabyTyrant]

Apparently all it takes to make things harder for yourself when your trying to build a reputation in a community is to come across as a bad guy

You see there are some people I have talked to when I was trying to sell things in this group already hate me so much if they want something I am trying to sell they refuse to even deal with me.

And how do you recover from this?

I imagine I'm gonna have to try to win over other people and just accept there will always be those people out there unwilling to deal with me

I'm not saying I am not at fault; sometimes I get too emotional, and if I'm at either extreme I might just do or say the wrong thing, and from then on that is one more person that hates me that much and will likely say "hey dont buy from Scott Smith, that guy is a D***"

 

[depends4me]

If you really think you've wronged somebody and the opportunity presents itself, as hard as it might be, an apology will go a long way.

But your post first reminded me of a quote that was often misattributed to Bill Cosby:

“I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.”
-Herbert Bayard Swope

Personally, I wear it as a badge of honor if some idiot politician, malicious coworker, aggressive driver, etc. decides they don't like me. Let the haters hate and move on.

FWIW, I don't know you beyond your posts here, but you're cool with me.

 

[BabyTyrant]

If you really think you've wronged somebody and the opportunity presents itself, as hard as it might be, an apology will go a long way.

But your post first reminded me of a quote that was often misattributed to Bill Cosby:

“I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.”
-Herbert Bayard Swope

Personally, I wear it as a badge of honor if some idiot politician, malicious coworker, aggressive driver, etc. decides they don't like me. Let the haters hate and move on.

FWIW, I don't know you beyond your posts here, but you're cool with me.

If such an opportunity does happen I would like to see if I could somehow make it up

But when you try selling something, someone tags another person (when they put "John Doe" and then the person sees your sales post and says "I would rather KMS (Kill My Self) than buy from him" )

that really hurts and makes me question if this one person is that mad; who else hates me similarly, and are they telling their friends?

Just how badly have I screwed up by saying the wrong things when someone says " how much do you want for "blank" " and then you have to try to be fair with pricing and you have to make a good impression to try to hang on to them to make that sale

It's so easy to mess up because it only takes saying the wrong thing once or putting a price too high and people think you are a jerk, or unfair, or worse

And you have to try to be Mr. Perfect because you have like 8,000 people as potential competitors just in this group alone

Unless you have a lot of Capital just to buy collections or higher rarity cards to flip to put yourself in a category of "dealers" rather than somebody just trying to sell your extra cards that are so easily accessible you have a lot of competition

And as someone near the bottom a lot of people are gonna skip over me because I am "an unknown quality"

As far as a lot of people are concerned I could be a scammer waiting to happen upon the perfect chance

Whereas Mr. Johnson has made 10,000 transactions, everybody knows and trusts him, and he always seems to have the highest rarity cards everyone wants

He may charge significantly more; but because he is known and trusted and can complete orders I cant it's a breeze for him

He doesn't have to do the work to prove himself and isn't gonna be ruined by a few people that may dislike him

Because i am unproven every step back feels like a crushing blow that is going to set me back for a long amount of time

 

[CrazySmoker]

I was recently censored because my views about religions. What a deal us that ? - I was sure reported by someone... and I hate this kind of hate.

 

[BabyTyrant]

And I haven't technically wronged anybody; just people asked about cards I was selling and I said the wrong thing and now I have at least 1 person that refuses to deal with me

If not several people; because you wonder how much of a "snowball effect" is going to happen

Think of how one person can have a bad experience, and then someone asks them what they think

If they have a bad experience, they are going to tell that person about it and all of a sudden it isn't just one person, it is 2 or 3 or maybe dozens

When you are operating as a "business" (even though I'm not really business level, I might get $200-$300 (total) of orders at any given time from a handful of people) you have to try to be "Perfect"

I'm far from perfect; furthermore recently this drama is making me feel like I failed; mind you it's only a setback

But you have to wonder; when have you done enough to gain trust? When do you Break Through?

Until then it seems like people think either you are 1 of the top sellers and universally trusted; or you are not known and therefore, who knows when you are gonna scam someone?

It's not enough to say you wont scam someone, you have to prove it and how many transactions is enough? 100, 1000, 10,000; even more?

 

[BabyTyrant]

He doesn't have to work that hard? It sounds like he has worked very hard to build a reputation. That's not easy. Its hard to maintain too, when its so easy to leave negative feedback.

If you want a good reputation, you have to work at it. Everybody has to start somewhere, It won't happen overnight, but it won't happen at all if you don't start working on it.

Yes, has

Past tense

It must be great to be "The King" if he wants to charge 85% people are glad to get that 15% off and know they can trust the guy and are gonna be well taken care of; apparently not being "The King" means at any point I am apparently likely to "turn bad and scam people"

I take good care of the few people I get; but as I'm unproven and unknown its harder for me to get people to buy; even more so if they were on the fence and they asked someone about me and it happens to be someone I have already lost.

I cant charge as much because if I try charging the same rate they are just gonna go to the guy they have known for much longer amount of time because it's not risky to do business with him

Meanwhile I have to charge lower rates (say 65%) to make the same sales and hopefully I dont screw up because it is so easy to screw up

All I have to do is say the wrong thing or come across the wrong way;

all of a sudden I'm unfair, I dont care about anybody, it's only about the money, and I'm apparently so bad a potential customer was tagged in a sales post and said "I would rather KMS (Kill My Self) than buy from him" and though you try to move on it still hurts because I do care

My problem is I care way too much and it is entirely too easy to say the wrong thing and lose potential customers, and I have to prove myself so much that I am making things harder with every mistake I make

 

[BabyTyrant]

With reputation, its never past tense. one bad review sticks out more that 100 positives.

Its not fair, but no one just gets to the top of their game and sits there.

Yeah but once you are so high up one bad transaction is unlikely to completely ruin you

Unless you sell $100s or $1000s of stuff and deliver nothing

It certainly isnt harder than trying to prove yourself like I have to

Once you are that trusted you can basically state your price and the serious people will pay it (unless you are trying to sell an ungraded card above market price)

If I tried to charge the same prices I would be laughed at by everyone and not make any sales

 

[trysexiea]

sell things is very complicated, if you want to have a good reputation as seller, you have to be the less expensive seller for this product, or to have an unique product, or have a better service for this product. And avoid as possible to Mix your personal reputation, and professional.

 

[BabyTyrant]

sell things is very complicated, if you want to have a good reputation as seller, you have to be the less expensive seller for this product, or to have an unique product, or have a better service for this product. And avoid as possible to Mix your personal reputation, and professional.

Well theres very few "unique" cards in any card game; the card game I am involved with has a few that are harder to get and more expensive

Problem is you cant always have cards of that Rarity unless you are spending $1000s or you buy and sell High Rarity cards to make money (some people do) or you win a Tournament and get a really special prize (they have Metal cards, kinda cool but those go for over $1000, not my area of dealing)

That said some would even pay for graded cards (problem with that is you could go through 100 copies of a card and only get a few that come back as a high grade).

I know how to package things properly and do well in that regard, I'm just not so good at times socially.

As for price; I am starting to figure more things out; but that is also part of where my problem started not at first knowing how to value 100s of more common cards (looking up a couple prices is easy enough, but 100s of prices on cards that take hours to sort is rough)

And having people that dont understand the word "offer" so they had to make it out to seem like I knew what I was doing and that I was trying to rip off people that didn't know what fair prices were

 

[trysexiea]

And having people that dont understand the word "offer" so they had to make it out to seem like I knew what I was doing and that I was trying to rip off people that didn't know what fair prices were

Effectively this can be the problem, some people like to create drama.

 

[BabyTyrant]

Effectively this can be the problem, some people like to create drama.

Or they really were too stupid to read

I really cant tell these days because it seems like common sense is no longer common and either people cant take a minute to read, or that they really dont know how

 

[ltaluv]

Trying to break into an already crowded marketplace or one with established sellers is always hard. The solution can be as easy, and as hard, as changing what you sell.

I once started a business manufacturing and selling a particular item. It was something that was not common at the time, and when I started selling it I was nearly the only game in town. I quickly became the dominant seller, and other companies were coming to me to buy at wholesale so they could have my products in their shops. Eventually, though, I shut the business down - I couldn't make the leap to doing it full time because of health issues and insurance, and I was tired of spending an extra 15 hours a week working. Once I exited, another company stepped in and has become the dominant player, and at this point I would probably find it impossible to rebuild the business even if I choose to do so because I'd have to much competition. If this other company was overpricing their products or providing poor customer support, I could do it, but as it happens they're a quality our with good products, fair process, good service, and a great reputation. I can't compete with that.

If you want to compete with other card sellers who provide good service, good prices, and already have a good reputation, you will have to find something that you offer that they don't. Whether it's better prices, better service, freebies with the sale, or something else entirely, if all you offer is what customers can get elsewhere, you're not going to be particularly successful.

So three question is, what can you do that they can't? Answer that we'll and you'll find the key to success.

 

[BabyTyrant]

Well not everyone is a seller in that market place, but there are plenty of sellers; whether they are High Rarity Card/collection flippers, players, collectors, or some mixture of collecting and playing (some do both)

I'm always operating on low stock and have found out when I charge a low rate enough rate things get sold quick.

Sometimes I simply cant be bothered to wait to make a little more, and anyways I would rather make less money at a time, and have things sold than to wait and not know where the prices are going to go (if they go up I missed an opportunity, but on the flip side; if something loses a lot of value and it's already been sold and shipped I wont have to regret making a quick sale).

I have found a little success lately; and it's not like this card game has been around a long time for many people to be established in it

It just happens that some people have been card sellers before, and then when this card game came along they added it to their inventory; so now they are well known in multiple card game circles

I'm not even trying to compete with that level of dealer; I'm just happy to invest some money (say $240,) in a hobby I usually enjoy, and sell my extras and make up maybe 50% (or more if I'm lucky) of my initial investment

 

[ltaluv]

I know how that goes. I play MTG, and I end up with so many cards that just don't go into any of my decks. I wish I could sell them, but if run into the same problem you're having.

One thing you can do is try to find something just a little bit extra you can do. An optics equipment company that I ordered lots of stuff from a couple of jobs back always included a package of "Lab Snacks," which were just some munchies - granola bars, candy, gum - that you got when you opened their package. Stupid as it sounds, if there was no clear advantage to ordering the stuff I needed from another company, I'd end up ordering from the ones who gave me snacks. Over many orders, they probably sent me $10 worth of food, but they got maybe $20k in extra orders from it. It was sure money well spent, plus now if I need anything like that they're the first website I go to.

What about including something extra in the package when you send someone a card? It doesn't have to be much, but a little can go a long way when it makes people realize you're thoughtful and cool.

Just an idea, anyway.

 

[BabyTyrant]

I know how that goes. I play MTG, and I end up with so many cards that just don't go into any of my decks. I wish I could sell them, but if run into the same problem you're having.

One thing you can do is try to find something just a little bit extra you can do. An optics equipment company that I ordered lots of stuff from a couple of jobs back always included a package of "Lab Snacks," which were just some munchies - granola bars, candy, gum - that you got when you opened their package. Stupid as it sounds, if there was no clear advantage to ordering the stuff I needed from another company, I'd end up ordering from the ones who gave me snacks. Over many orders, they probably sent me $10 worth of food, but they got maybe $20k in extra orders from it. It was sure money well spent, plus now if I need anything like that they're the first website I go to.

What about including something extra in the package when you send someone a card? It doesn't have to be much, but a little can go a long way when it makes people realize you're thoughtful and cool.

Just an idea, anyway.

I guess, but one of the main draws from the group is that people always get a deal; sometimes an amazing deal, sometimes only a small amount off of the "market price".

If you want something everyone wants or needs, you aren't gonna have to discount it much (if at all), it will sell if people know they can trust you or feel comfortable with you

Apparently all it takes to make people dislike/loathe/ "hate you down to the pits of their souls" is for you to mess up on the 1st interaction

It seems I have messed up in the interaction with several people, so however many people will not do business with me

That means more reliance on everyone else and an increased importance to not mess up in the future

 

[ltaluv]

First impressions are important, but they're not forever. Keep taking good care of your customers and your reputation will develop.

 

[BabyTyrant]

First impressions are important, but they're not forever. Keep taking good care of your customers and your reputation will develop.

Except some people generally do seem that ticked off at me

I mean one of them was tagged in a sales post where I had offered to sell some of the most desirable cards in this card game; not for players but for collectors

You cant have a complete collection without the hardest to find, most expensive, most limited production cards

It is these kinds of cards you have a bunch of people that want to buy, but strangely someone that had been missing one of these cards from their collection got tagged, but because it was me refused to buy

I was going to accept that I had essentially a 9 card page of cards worth $500 that was gonna sit because of people refusing to buy from me; until a previous deal I offered someone came back through (a small discount less than I wanted, but during a tough part of the year when you need extra money)

I mean I didn't think It was gonna be a quick sale, but you expect a bunch of people to come forward and at least ask; even in a FaceBook Community of under 10,000

It's like if someone in the MtG community is selling 1 of the top 10 most Rare and Expensive cards

Just the fact that it is up for sale is a huge deal; you are getting at least a small discount from "retail" and you pay by PayPal G and S in case someone tries to scam you; you have some recourse to say "I paid for $500 of stuff, they sent me $5 worth of stuff" ; provide as much proof as you can and get a complete refund

Furthermore I dont have any future in the community selling cards in the future if I were to pull such a move; everyone would know

 

[depends4me]

I understand more about your dilemma than when I first replied. I'm not a regular seller, but am a regular buyer and sometimes hang out on web boards that discuss buying and selling movies and music. Buyers can be fickle and fussy and snarky. And sometimes outright dishonest. Too many people feel a sense of immunity because the transaction happens electronically, and sadly there's nothing you can do about that short of providing excellent service and taking precautions where possible. A few more ideas:

1) I know nothing about MtG, but get the impression that you're selling on an officlal MtG site or fan site. Can you try selling somewhere else? EBay?
2) Italuv's suggestion about including an innocuous extra with your sale is a good one, if you can find just the right thing. Maybe there's a product (a candy line?) exclusive to your area?
3) It bugs me when somebody sells a product of which they have no knowledge, so kudos for selling something you know well. But do you have any other hobbies? Even the biggest companies look to diversify. When one business is down, hopefully their other businesses are up.
3) If you really think you make bad first impressions, can you find a trusted friend, either local or online, and send them the email transaction? Maybe they can point out what went wrong and give you some boilerplate language for future sale?