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How do I tell the guy I’m dating to chill out with diaper talk?

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Livingandlearning

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Hello. I have been doing research for a bit and I came across this forum which has been extremely helpful. The guy that I am dating is a DL. To me, that is not an issue. I am completely accepting and don’t mind if he wears them around me or whatever the case may be. As long as he feel safe and secure, It truly doesn’t bother me.

One thing I have noticed though, he talks about wearing diapers so much that I don’t know how else to tell him to stop. it’s just too much. Almost every conversation we have and most of the pictures he sends me are with his diaper. I’m all for it but it just makes me uncomfortable when it’s the constant topic of conversation. I don’t want to seem insensitive but sometimes it’s like “OK I get it, you wear diapers, tell me about your day”

Us dating is fairly new so we are just getting used to each other. I don’t want to hurt his feelings and I’ve never been in this situation before so I want to ask and see what the appropriate approach would be. But, I would also like to know if this is going to be a constant situation.

Personally, I will not participate with him or join him but he is free to make whatever decisions he wants. How can I bring this up without hurting his feelings?
 
Some people (like us) get off on exposing their diapered self and that may be what's happening. This may be a new experience for him as well, being able to finally tell another living soul that he wears a diaper. That said, you are going to need to have a talk with him and simply let him know that you are okay with his diaper wearing but that you want to enjoy him as a whole person, not just a diapered person. My wife was very accepting of my diaper wearing but I also appreciated that she married me for who I was. I was a professional musician, a weight lifter, I enjoyed sports and I raced two cars on the 1/4 mile track. She would buy me plushies, onsies, etc., but I was smart enough to make my diaper wearing a very small part of our relationship because that's what it was, just a small part. I was glad just to be accepted and to wear a diaper when I wanted.

I hope this will give you some direction as to how you might approach this. I'm sure others will respond with some good ideas. Kudos to you for being accepting because not every one is.
 
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I'm not sure you can avoid "hurting his feelings," but he's the one who keeps waving his diapers in your face.

ABs are funny in this regard; a little show of acceptance from our SO opens the floodgates.

If he were an AB, you could tell him you need him to be an adult most of the time, but with a DL, you often have to get straight to the point.

I know that's not easy, and its very difficult to do without causing him some emotional upset.

If I were the DL involved, I'd rather know that my diaper obsession is creating difficulties before I lost the SO involved because of it.
 
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First off welcome to the site. In my opinion just be honest with him. It’s great that you’re accepting of him being a DL and he should be thankful for that. I’m sure he’s just so excited that your okay with him wearing and doesn’t realize how much it comes up. Most likely it’s the first time he’s shares this part of him. For most of us we live with this secret and tell know one. When we finally do it’s like opening the floodgates of all these emotions and feelings. I hope he can understand and relax a bit. Best of luck!!
 
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I agree with all of the above. He is probably just so excited that he has someone that he can actually talk to about it and that you still like him anyways. One thing that you have to understand is that he has probably been living under the radar for so long and that he has so many things that he has never been able to speak of, like sbmcue said... "the floodgates are open" probably for the first time in his life.

When I told my wife... after 30 years of keeping it a secret... there was allot of things I wanted to tell her. For 59 years I had not spoken a word about this to anyone. It was a major relief... he is probably just feeling that.

You do need to tell him though. And it is important that he honors your boundaries
 
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I would send him a link to your past above. It allows you care and exactly what your pair is without being mean. He is a lucky man and you should like you truly care about him. I wish you both the best.

I'd he won't respect you though, please be careful. You don't deserve to be used it disrespected. My guess is he is just excited to be accepted, though that is a pre assumption as I do not know either of you.
 
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Thank you for all the feedback. I appreciate every single one of you.
 
Livingandlearning said:
Thank you for all the feedback. I appreciate every single one of you.
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Best of luck to you.
 
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