How crippling is your fear of leaks?

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I'm not incontinent myself, but I'd like to figure out the thoughts on it from those who are.

Imagine you're in a dense public location, but away from anywhere you could change, and your diaper is really wet. How much do you fear the leak at this point?
 

miapeters

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I'm not incontinent myself, but I'd like to figure out the thoughts on it from those who are.

Imagine you're in a dense public location, but away from anywhere you could change, and your diaper is really wet. How much do you fear the leak at this point?

Hey, I'm mia
Not really leaks from wetting, but in both bladder and bowel incontinent.
I think I've mentioned this before, but once I was on a bus from home and I had a big bm while on the bus, luckily I was standing otherwise it would have spread >.< but that's normal. Usually I have 3-4 bm's a day on rare occasions more, anyway after a few minutes I had another bm and it was so much that it filled my diaper to an amount I thought it couldn't handle. I wear m4's for my incontinence and the feeling was terrible. I got off at my stop and awkwardly walked back home. If it was at home it would have been fine, but in the bus, while I'm surrounded by so many people. Luckily the diaper contained very well and the plastic pants helped with the smell,
Now I'm starting to have two big bm's in the night which I don't wake up for which is a pain too >.<, pain to clean up.
There are times my diaper gets soaked too much before any bm accidents hit, but most of the times I've found places to change, though during the night the m4 alone isn't enough it leaks.I use a booster as well and even then it gets pretty soaked, but at least contains leaks
 

Amelia

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Imagine you're in a dense public location, but away from anywhere you could change, and your diaper is really wet. How much do you fear the leak at this point?

That would be my worst nightmare.
Noooooo. Helpppppp!!!
*Runs hands over bottom to check for leaks.
Pleaseee. I need to change!!


But seriously, this is not likely to happen at all.
I probably won't even go to such a place, or would be very thickly diapered :)
 

Tetra

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I had my pants made to accommodate a puddle , if need be , so bladder is not a problem and since I have opiate induced constipation the chances of a bowel accident are pretty slim, I would not really panic, couple that with being in a power chair and it's all pretty contained with pp's on, no real motion to displace odors or moisture.

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk
 

mrogers

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I think we've probably all been in that sort of situation or similar. I was once on a train that was held up substantially. When I boarded my nappy was quite full but I expected to be able to make it home easily enough. However, there was a hold up for quite a long time and i became very anxious and stressed about it. I knew I'd sprung a leak and could feel the urine going down the side of my leg. Part of the problem was not knowing how bad it was because I had no way of looking and no privacy to feel. I just had to stand there and there was nothing I could do. Opposite where I was standing were a couple of teenagers sitting on the floor and they'd obviously noticed. What was worse was getting off the train and having to walk along the platform. I waited at the side till most people had gone and then went to the station loo. There was a clear damp patch around my crotch and down the inside of the legs. I took my sodden nappy off and stuffed my socks and loads of lavatory paper in my plastic pants. If there had been a hand dryer I'd have stood under it to dry my trousers off a bit, but there wasn't. I didn't feel I could get in a cab with wet trousers so ended up walking home (about 3 miles) and by the time I got there the socks and paper very wet, but thankfully I didn't bump into anyone I knew, although it was something of a walk of shame.

If I find myself facing the possibility of a leak now, sorting out is my total priority and I get very anxious and nervous until I've sorted it out, however I wouldn't not go somewhere because I was worried about leaking. I'd just wear a very substantial diaper and carry a big pile of insert pads.
 

Spaz

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I've been in this situation. It's part of learning how to live with incontinence. I grew up bathroom mapping, which essentially means knowing where you can use a bathroom no matter where you are. When your control becomes unmanageable (as mine did about 13 years ago), you need to consider three things: 1) your fluid or food intake, 2) your diaper capacity and 3) your available changing locations. Over time you just learn to keep at least one or more of these things under control. If you don't then it can lead to the situation you describe.

The worst one I can remember was being in a crowded airport terminal, watching the baggage while my wife was going to the bathroom and having urine leak down my pants because I flooded my diaper one too many times. To be honest, it's not nearly as stressful as not being diapered at all. That is way worse. If you wear diapers for long enough leaks will happen.
 

ST50

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I've been in this situation. It's part of learning how to live with incontinence. I grew up bathroom mapping, which essentially means knowing where you can use a bathroom no matter where you are. When your control becomes unmanageable (as mine did about 13 years ago), you need to consider three things: 1) your fluid or food intake, 2) your diaper capacity and 3) your available changing locations. Over time you just learn to keep at least one or more of these things under control. If you don't then it can lead to the situation you describe.

The worst one I can remember was being in a crowded airport terminal, watching the baggage while my wife was going to the bathroom and having urine leak down my pants because I flooded my diaper one too many times. To be honest, it's not nearly as stressful as not being diapered at all. That is way worse. If you wear diapers for long enough leaks will happen.
Couldn't agree more. Leaks happen from time to time. If you deal with them confidently it is not such a big deal
 

Slomo

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Now, none. 20 years ago, a lot.

A huge part of this is always using a diaper you can trust will not leak. Also, never try to reach your diaper's max capacity. I always leave 10-20% spare capacity when I need to change.

By doing this you can leave most unexpected leaks in the past and avoid a situation like mrogers described.
 

CheshireCat

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When one is incontinent, one quickly learns to exercise good habits regarding diapers.

Wear adequate or additional protection when going into a situation where one can't change in a timely manner.
Don't be wearing a rather used diaper when going into a situation where one can't change in a timely manner.
Don't drink excessive amounts of fluids when in a situation where one can't change in a timely manner.
ALWAYS have additional diapers available, in case an emergency change is required.

For me, the challenge for going to a movie is not how wet I can get without leaking, but how to avoid walking out of the movie because I need to change.
 

mikejames

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I try not to put myself in those situations. Since I started wearing regularly I haven't had the problem. Before I started wearing actual diapers, I had 2 very bad very public leaks. Once was in the mall food court. I had ot walk all the way out of the mall with soaking we pants. Everyone saw and knew. This taught me first and foremost that you need to wear adequate protection at all times. A dry bulky diaper is less embarrassing than a thin diaper that's leaked and running down your legs.


Now, I wear appropriate protection. A Northshore Supreme Lite will last me until lunch time easily. That's 5-6 hours of wear under normal fluid intake. I can either adjust my intake or wear one of my overnight diapers instead if I think I'm going to be gone longer than that or think I won't want to or be able to change. I also always use the toilet any time I change my diaper. I won't strain myself buy generally I can always pee a decent amount when I try.

If I go out to a movie or something, usually dinner is first. After dinner I'll just go change even if my diaper is only a little wet. I'll also use the toilet then just to make sure my bladder is empty before I diaper up again. Usually for the movies or a show, I'll wear a night time diaper too just for added confidence of making it all the way through. Same protocol for sports games, museums, etc.

When I go skiing, I wear an overnight diaper (Abena L4 or similar) with a full Abri Let Maxi booster. Trying to change a diaper in a ski lodge is a nightmare so I just go all Super Diaper on it. I was at Attitash this weekend and skied all day Saturday and Sunday without having to change once all day. By the end of the day though, my diaper weight like 5 lbs haha.

I haven't yet found myself in a situation where I truly couldn't change if needed. I haven't been on a long flight since being incontinent yet so that will be interesting when the time comes. I'm kind of a big dude so changing in an airplane bathroom seems unlikely. Next year we're supposed to go to Tonga (where my wife's family is from) and that's a loooong flight (boston to LA, LA to Sydney, Syndey to Tonga). Obviously chances to change on the layovers but the LA to Australia leg will be a challenge.


SLOMO makes a good point, in that you should avoid waiting until you're near full capacity. Once I figured out my incon "style" it became easier. My accidents are always gushes/floods, but not always full bladders. I might leak anywhere from 3 to 12 ounces at once. A 12 ounce flood is a big one. If I have more than 2 big floods, I change. Even if my diaper can handle 85ounces i Know that A) ISO capacity isn't 'real' as much of the diaper isn't used and B) there's no prize other than ebmarrassment if you push it. Like SLOMO, I change with usually at least 20% unused practical capacity. I haven't had a noticeable leak in ages doing this.
 

Llayden

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...I haven't been on a long flight since being incontinent yet so that will be interesting when the time comes. I'm kind of a big dude so changing in an airplane bathroom seems unlikely. Next year we're supposed to go to Tonga (where my wife's family is from) and that's a loooong flight (boston to LA, LA to Sydney, Syndey to Tonga). Obviously chances to change on the layovers but the LA to Australia leg will be a challenge...

Long flights can be the worst. I have had good luck with NorthShore Spremes (absolute best performance from a disposable in a seated position) with a booster right up front. I'll usually pull a diaper out of my carry-on and place it in the pocket of my pants (I wear really comfortable, loose fit, cargo style khakis with large cargo pocket that can fit a single diaper). This way I can make it to the lavatory for one change at least without having to either carry a bag with me or pull one out of the bag and hand carry it. Most long distance flights are on larger aircraft which are equipped with larger handicapped stalls. That's the place to change if there's one on board. Other than that you're right on, change at the layovers and immediately prior to boarding. Void what you can before boarding, and even get up a few times to void (if you can without unfastening your diaper) during the flight. I also tend to dehydrate myself a bit before long flights to reduce urine production a bit. This method has served me well on flights to and from Asia and Europe from the states.
 
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