Horrible convo with son ends well

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xtrabulk

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So I thought id share this, and forgive any errors as I'm on my slow tablet.
I thought my eldest, 17, knew about my diapers. So, I was line drying my Baby Pants trainers and a pullup diaper from kins. Along with a shirt of his. Anyway, he goes to get his shirt, and asks me if the diapers on the line are mine. I said, Yup!
He proceeds to say, Thats fucking weird and disgusting.
Me. Why?
Him. Because you deficate in them.
Me. No I dont....technically true as I dont mess.
Him. Still, if you dont need them, it's sick.
Me. So your generation is cool with lgbtq?
Him. Ya, we don't agree with bashing people because of their orientation.
Me. Well, diapers are part of my sexuality. Sometimes I need them to feel normal.

So in the car...the wife and he were going to the city, Jake asked his mom how his dad could be so fucked up. She explained that sexuality might be imprinted on a person in may ways. He asked if it was a fetish, and wife said Totally.

On the way home 6 hrs later, he said he felt horrible for whathe saidto me, and realized he attacked my sexuality. Headmited it wasnt cool, and that he behaved like a "total dick. I'm embarrassed for myself."

So, I guess openess works even if it sucks at times. We alwaystalk about sex as a family, and about discrimination, drugs, ect. He's cool, I'm cool, and my diapers are drying on the lineas I type.

I thought he knew. Maybe he did and was confused. But I did react defensively. That's whar can happen with shame. So, itsucked worse than any other interaction with him...I adoptedhim at 11...but it ended in understanding. I was cevistated, but now feel liberated. Thanks for letting me vent.
 

Gardener

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So I thought id share this, and forgive any errors as I'm on my slow tablet.
I thought my eldest, 17, knew about my diapers. So, I was line drying my Baby Pants trainers and a pullup diaper from kins. Along with a shirt of his. Anyway, he goes to get his shirt, and asks me if the diapers on the line are mine. I said, Yup!
He proceeds to say, Thats fucking weird and disgusting.
Me. Why?
Him. Because you deficate in them.
Me. No I dont....technically true as I dont mess.
Him. Still, if you dont need them, it's sick.
Me. So your generation is cool with lgbtq?
Him. Ya, we don't agree with bashing people because of their orientation.
Me. Well, diapers are part of my sexuality. Sometimes I need them to feel normal.

So in the car...the wife and he were going to the city, Jake asked his mom how his dad could be so fucked up. She explained that sexuality might be imprinted on a person in may ways. He asked if it was a fetish, and wife said Totally.

On the way home 6 hrs later, he said he felt horrible for whathe saidto me, and realized he attacked my sexuality. Headmited it wasnt cool, and that he behaved like a "total dick. I'm embarrassed for myself."

So, I guess openess works even if it sucks at times. We alwaystalk about sex as a family, and about discrimination, drugs, ect. He's cool, I'm cool, and my diapers are drying on the lineas I type.

I thought he knew. Maybe he did and was confused. But I did react defensively. That's whar can happen with shame. So, itsucked worse than any other interaction with him...I adoptedhim at 11...but it ended in understanding. I was cevistated, but now feel liberated. Thanks for letting me vent.

Congratulations! Not all conversations can begin and end successfully in one sitting (standing), so it's good he kept following through. You've done something right if he is open minded enough to end the interchange this way, and he is to be commended for following up with your wife and with you.

Are there other children who may or may not know of your DL? You must be pretty open about it to hang them on the line to dry. Even so, knowing is one thing, but seeing probably would be a little more difficult for him to deal with, so I'd advise keeping your wearing behind closed doors or under clothes.

Again, congratulations on raising your son to be like this.
 

Calico

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Wow. I can't imagine my own children talking that way. I think you handled it better than I would.
 

KuroCat

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Regardless, perhaps you should find other ways to dry your diapers, because even though your son is okay with it, perhaps he doesn't want to be subjected to his dad's fetish.

And no one could really blame him, because sons never want to be included in what their parents do sexuality, fetish or otherwise.
 

EPO1

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Regardless, perhaps you should find other ways to dry your diapers, because even though your son is okay with it, perhaps he doesn't want to be subjected to his dad's fetish.

And no one could really blame him, because sons never want to be included in what their parents do sexuality, fetish or otherwise.

^THIS.

I'm quite a kinky guy... and so is my girl - super kinky.
But frankly even at 34 I wouldn't want to be exposed in any way to whatever kinks my parents might have and my SO feels the same about her family.

My Sis' is the only relative whom I have talked about that stuff (but we're quite close and talk open about everything - always have...)
But talking is one thing - I still wouldn't leave the toy collection on display for her to see.
And she's an adult.

If I had kids I wouldn't have a problem talking about sexual issues if they come up - but I'd make damn sure that the Sex-Life of my SO and myself stays VERY private.
Why? honestly I wouldn't have been comfortable with that knowledge as a kid... I guess no one is fully "comfortable".
Maybe "understanding" (as in your case) at least to some degree out of respect - but still, I'd say hang your diapers elsewhere.
He knows, that's ok - but no need to "rub it in his face"...
 

xtrabulk

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Points well taken. Maybe I'm being selfish. But now that the diaper's out of the bag, I feel better.

- - - Updated - - -

Talking to my wife now. She thinks it's zero deal. Our kids have stumbled across our sex toys in their rummaging, and we agree that if our kids know its no big deal. Just like if he had two dads. It takes some getting used to, but in the end, we don't care if they know. If I cross dressed, I would expect him to respect that, so why not diapers? I'm glad my son, once informed, is cool. And line drying diapers isn't rubbing his face in it...it's drying diapers. In his face would be wearing around him, which I never do.
 

Takashi

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Wonderful to see that things worked out in the end.
 

cm90210

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My kid is under five so this hopefully won't be an issue for a few years. But personally I think there's a difference between secretive, privacy, and exhibitionist.

In my opinion, Kids need to be let in on the realities of the adult world in incremental and careful ways. Too little too late is harmful; too much to early is harmful. At 17, it doesn't seem unreasonable to me to have this kind of conversation if it came up -- but I can't imagine bringing it up myself or flaunting (not saying you're doing this) my diaper or sex stuff in front of my kids at any age. In my mind it's a private thing. If they happen to find it or stumble upon it, I'll talk about it with them in age appropriate ways (ie not keep it a secret or put the burden of secrecy on them). But I also don't plan to specifically expose them to my unique fantasies and kinks...I just am not convinced that's Gonna be a helpful thing.

Kinks/fetish/orientation in theory? In the abstract? Sure. Helpful conversation topic at the right age.
Mine specifically?
No.
Not unless my private life is unavoidably exposed by accident or treasure hunt.

My .02
 

dogboy

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I do everything I can to keep all of this secret from my adult children. That said, I'm glad that you son gave this some thought and changed how he felt. I sure you must have felt a lot better.
 

EPO1

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Points well taken. Maybe I'm being selfish. But now that the diaper's out of the bag, I feel better.

- - - Updated - - -

Talking to my wife now. She thinks it's zero deal. Our kids have stumbled across our sex toys in their rummaging, and we agree that if our kids know its no big deal. Just like if he had two dads. It takes some getting used to, but in the end, we don't care if they know. If I cross dressed, I would expect him to respect that, so why not diapers? I'm glad my son, once informed, is cool. And line drying diapers isn't rubbing his face in it...it's drying diapers. In his face would be wearing around him, which I never do.

Stumbling across stuff by having them rummage through things is a tad different.
But it is also a bit of a "neglect" on the parents side of things by making it easy for the kids to discover that stuff.
Honestly, there's locker boxes - end of the story.
It's like my guns.... No Kid (or adult unless they're pro at safe cracking) would be able to get to them. And I'm the only one who has both the key and the code (it's a dual lock safe).
I'm NOT comparing guns to sex toys in the gravity of matters - but I'm using it as an example that parents, if they truly want to, are easily able to keep stuff from their children...
Just sayin....

But there's the other part about "in your face":
Actually wearing them in a fashion that it wouldn't show through your clothes would be far less "showing them" than having them drying on the line. This way your son (or anyone else) sees them too and is constantly reminded of it.
Kids can be "cool" with it, but honestly you don't really know how well they cope with stuff like that... can be no issue, can be an issue.
Cross dressing - well same deal.

The one thing I'd say in all fairness your son is 17 - so he probably has some sexual experience...
But I still don't see why you need to be so "open" about your kink in front of your children.


And as mentioned before: I also don't see a problem with discussing the topic of fetishes / Sex / etc if the topic comes up or if questions arises, but your own kinks? I'd vote for keeping them PRIVATE.

Also you never know how openly sharing your kid will be with that information.
 
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