Hi everyone

kauaidreamin · May 23, 2009

Hi there,

I'm a long-time DL and have never quite found my place in the world. I'm 40, married with children, well-educated and have a successful career.

I struggle with my fetish. Quite frankly, I love it and do not want to ever give it up. My wife thinks I'm a freak, equates the fetish as being equivalent to telling her I was gay. It's not something I can say "okay, it doesn't exist." I can resist the urges, but it's something that's "always there."

I won't leave my wife because I won't abandon her or the kids. However, I want to be free to be me.

I love wearing diapers. I love how they feel. I love how they make me feel. I do realize how abnormal that is, but it doesn't make me want to stop feeling the way I do.

What I want more than anything is a relationship with a woman who accepts and even embraces me for me. I've signed up for all sorts of Diaper Fetish/Diaper Lover groups hoping to meet someone, but it seems that men outnumber women about 100 - 1 with this fetish. I've kind of resigned myself to never finding someone to truly be a soul mate.

I really don't know what the next step is for me. I'm hear to listen and hopefully to make friends.

DannyTheNinja · May 23, 2009

Telling relatives is probably the biggest struggle people face here on ADISC. Plus we have a good-sized group of people from your generation here that have struggled with the same things. Don't worry - you'll be able to make the best of your relationship whether it involves your wife fully accepting your infantilism or not.

Welcome! Post around, and I hope you learn a lot. The wiki might have some good articles for you to read too, specifically this one.

Do you have other interests? I'm sure you do stuff in your free time besides AB/DL stuff. Hell, lately I spend so much time coding and working on my home network that I don't even have time for AB/DL stuff. Remember: all things in moderation. If you would happen to need help explaining AB/DL to your wife based on a religious discrepancy, I'm a Christian and have a strong biblical perspective on this stuff, so feel free to PM me and ask.

Have a great time here!

--Danny :ninja:

Raccoon · May 23, 2009

One of the reasons our significant others resent the fetish is that they feel rejected, that our choice of "costume" competes with them for our sexual attention, the same way another woman might. (I am a dl, and diapers are a turn-on.) Personally I have had no problem convincing the girls I told about my "extra-curricular" interests that when I am with her she has my complete and undivided interest - but I am not about to cease being attracted to Hayden Panettiere

or Dianna Rigg

- or stop fantasizing about any number of things; what I do in my mind on my own time is my business. Should a girl have a problem with that (I should start saying "lady" instead of "girl" - old habits die hard) then she is not the right one for me. There is a really good thread on how to find a significant other you might be interested in. http://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-baby/11968-how-get-girlfriend-despite-ab-dl.html

babibear · May 23, 2009

kauaidreamin said:
I struggle with my fetish. Quite frankly, I love it and do not want to ever give it up. My wife thinks I'm a freak, equates the fetish as being equivalent to telling her I was gay.

It's a remarkably common reaction.

kauaidreamin said:
What I want more than anything is a relationship with a woman who accepts and even embraces me for me. I've signed up for all sorts of Diaper Fetish/Diaper Lover groups hoping to meet someone, but it seems that men outnumber women about 100 - 1 with this fetish. I've kind of resigned myself to never finding someone to truly be a soul mate.

Yah, you're going to find its male dominated. I don't know what to point to that results in ABDL though it's my understanding that sexual fetishes are more common in general with males.

Its tough to find an SO who will go along with this paraphilia, but they are out there though. Finding someone your age, or very similar helps, though I've not found a magic way to find them other than these forums. Since you are married it's particularly rife with pitfalls. As much as it would be wonderful to freely experiment with your DL'ism your family has priority.

Siege89 · May 23, 2009

Welcome kind of sleeply here lol. sorry for such a short post. Well i hope you like it here i think you will.

Raccoon · May 23, 2009

I learned that women-into-diapers are not as rare as one might thing, but my research indicates that while they are out there, either they are shy and prefer to initiate contact (otherwise would be swamped) - or they are gay. Mostly I base this on cruising Myspace or Facebook or Yahoo groups, most of which are now deleted, under Yahoo's terms.

I said in the link http://www.adisc.org/forum/adult-baby/11968-how-get-girlfriend-despite-ab-dl.html as much, that for finding a significant other with similar with *b/dl tendencies, one's chances are higher if one is gay, either sex.

kauaidreamin · May 25, 2009

babibear, you hit it right on the head. My family is my number one priority. Unfortunately, my fetish has led to huge problems in my marriage. We're basically living as roommates right now. I think we're together not because we think we can fix the marriage, but so the children have a complete family household. There isn't a lot of tension between my wife and me, and we're friendly to each other, so it's working for now.

We've been to marriage counseling and both of us have seen individual therapists. My wife has never accepted the fetish, nor will she. I can't find fault with her in this. I didn't tell her about the fetish before we got married. The was my biggest mistake. I was practically a kid when we got married and thought is was a choice I could give up. I was wrong. In a lot of ways, the fetish chose me, not vice-versa.

Raccoon · May 25, 2009

You sound like you are taking a mature and responsible approach to things, I applaud you. It is fine to take an unorthodox approach to a relationship. Personally I know of rwo couples who, basically ended up swapping spouses and marrying them, and all four have get-togethers; amicable divorces happen more and more. Many people also stay legally married for the kids' sake, for tax reasons, or because they are in a culture that frowns on divorce, while they lead separate personal lives, and it is their own little conspiracy against the world. I know a married couple (guy/girl) , who are both gay, for instance.

I wish you all the best, and forsee you finding your own way, a way that is not too rocky. Staying together for the sake of the kids has to include being amicable, presenting a united front to the kids as far as parenting goes, not letting them see tension or hostility.

There are husbands that seek gratification with a "playmate", often a dom or caregiver, where there is no actual sex infolved (legally speaking)

I did not have sex with that woman!! - Bill Clinton

but with whom the guy gets his jollies.

Hi everyone

Banned