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Hey guys, Question for Medically Incontinent People

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zan98931

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  1. Incontinent
Im not sure where to begin!...Im 21 years old, i had/have spinal condition when i was born, several surgeries later, since i was 2 years old to when i was 16 years old, i have permanent incontinence. This is my deepest and most embarrassing secret ive never discussed with anyone and i kinda wanted to just vent here, idc if no one reads this even..ive been wearing diapers since...forever really, 24/7....have multiple bullies at school and in real life, making fun of the kid wearing a diaper..my family even is tired of my getting wet sometimes because the diaper leaked and causing urine stains on the sofa or the smell bothers them...kinda hard to mask the smell since i always have urinary tract infections and that makes all this and my life even more difficult...wearing perfumes dont work, it just makes the smell even more worse...and it isnt like few drops of urine or anything...its worse, so worse that i have to change a diaper every 3-4 hours...plus add the extra water i must drink so my kidneys dont shut down from the infection...im pretty sure im infertile by now ass well because of all this..cant masturbate, one real joy people seems to have, no pleasure from sex either, i get hard, sure...no feeling, as if everything is numb...

If anyone is out there, who is medically incontinence, please, give me a reason to live, tips to recover after a person in the elevator gives you this horrible look because of the smell, give me some hope....

Im terribly sorry if this is a completely wrong forum to post any of this, im not suicidal, i wouldnt do that to the person who has to clean up the remains of me, im just out of hope...
 
Hello zan98931 and welcome to the group.

Thank you for Sharing.

I have no advice or answers to you question, except 1. To hell with them.

All I can relate to is having a handicap pass and getting the looks and comments about my weight. All I tell them is it would take me about 2 seconds with a sledge hammer and a curb and they can experience the pain that I am in 24/7, and will see how there weight effects them.

Again welcome to the group.

Egor
 
The only advice I can give is to ask your urologist to investigate the cause of those infections more thoroughly and be able to treat them as soon as possible, drinking lots of extra water is good but no cure.
I know fom experience as I had a constant bacterial growth inside the entire urethra due to obstructions, surgery helped but they instantly had me take antibiotics.
Then I went to a different doctor for a second opinion and he gave me a different treatment which helped a lot.

If you can manage that it'll benefit your health and you'd reduce the annoying smell a lot too.
About bullying, best thing is to ignore them , I know it sounds hard, i had to when I was younger as well.
When they harrass you physically report them to the authorities, the school principal will not do as they rarely do anything (at least mine never did)
 
winterheart01 said:
The only advice I can give is to ask your urologist to investigate the cause of those infections more thoroughly and be able to treat them as soon as possible, drinking lots of extra water is good but no cure.
I know fom experience as I had a constant bacterial growth inside the entire urethra due to obstructions, surgery helped but they instantly had me take antibiotics.
Then I went to a different doctor for a second opinion and he gave me a different treatment which helped a lot.

If you can manage that it'll benefit your health and you'd reduce the annoying smell a lot too.
About bullying, best thing is to ignore them , I know it sounds hard, i had to when I was younger as well.
When they harrass you physically report them to the authorities, the school principal will not do as they rarely do anything (at least mine never did)
Click to expand...
Yea i know about the treatment options, wearing diapers cause ehm..the bacteria in your farts to go through your urethra into the bladder and thus kidneys and cause infections...and about those antibiotics, ive developed resistance to a lot of antibiotics, all the doctors ive been to just say nothing they can really do as i still have a neurogenic bladder, infection will occur, antibiotics are just a short term solution and thinking long term worse for my health...
 
Welcome to our family. Take the time to research previous posts on diapers, deodorants, clothing, etc. you can find some answers to your specific problems.
 
Hi Zan. I´m sorry to hear someone with the same problem being so sad and desperate. I´ll do my best to raise your selfsteem, because I know for myself that it is possible to have a good life even with incontinence, it´s a question of how YOU see yourself and your problem and not how THE OTHERS do.
To begin, I´d like to tell you a couple of things. First, for my own experience as bedwetter until 13 I know how hard it is to live trough this at that age, it´s quite harder than as adult. Because later, when I became incontinent at 24 because of spinal injury due to an accident, I realised you don´t live it the same way as a youngster, nor you nor the other buttheads that laugh at you. After the accident I have even been in jail for six months and there it was perfect, no laughs no jokes just respect and understanding (and for that matter, I can swear that in jail people behave much more mature than in the streets, there anybody likes kids behaviour and to laugh of a disabilty is that, and I wasn´t the only one there who needed diapers in fact, remember there´s a 1% of adult bedwetters of ages 18-65). In university it´s more or less the same, it´s not elementary school anymore. So, now that you have passed it, you have to forget about that. I tell you from my own experience that wearing diapers I had even one night sex with wonderful chicks, I have normal friends (but choosed carefully, read my hello post of past yesterday if you want) and really you con find yourself with assholes that reject you for that, it can happen of course, but it´s unusual. In 14 years wearing diapers 24/7 it hasn´t happened to me yet. But if you want to achieve you must also try, and try being confident on yourself. Self confidence is essential for that, you must trust in your own value, in your capacities, that I´m sure you got many.
Second, I had a friend who had urine incontinence since birth. He died before I had the accident, but as I had been bedwetter I was very understanding. This guy was handsome, intelligent, and his fathers had A LOT of money. And one weekend his parents left as usual, and when they got back....they found him hung in his room. He took his own life. One year later I had the accident. After months of rehab for recovering mobilty I remained as now, lame, with no sensitivity in one leg, and with almost total urinary incontinence. And I swore myself, not that I wasn´t gonna commit suicide, who knows, but definitely not because of incontinence. It seems harder than it is man, believe me. It´s a question of you as I said first. YOU. Come on pal! Keep going. You can, find things you like, friends who love you, and fuck off to those who don´t. It´s them who should suicide (and some of them will! You´ll see) and not you.
My best regards. You got a friend here when needed. And when not needed. See ya!!
 
Last edited:
zan98931 said:
Yea i know about the treatment options, wearing diapers cause ehm..the bacteria in your farts to go through your urethra into the bladder and thus kidneys and cause infections...and about those antibiotics, ive developed resistance to a lot of antibiotics, all the doctors ive been to just say nothing they can really do as i still have a neurogenic bladder, infection will occur, antibiotics are just a short term solution and thinking long term worse for my health...
Click to expand...
Ouch :( I'm very sorry to hear that. But there's one last advice i can still give: my urologist told me that it's definitely good to take cranberry supplements, not the juice as it's not concentrated enough and has many carbohydrates. The supplement pills helped for me to reduce the amount of infections by making the urine more acidic which kills a portion of weaker bacteria and makes it less hospitable for others.
 
What diapers do you wear to manage your incontinence issues, premium diapers like Betterdry or Crinklz help to hide a lot of the oder (plastic backed) and leak way less often then other brands. Drinking more water also helps to reduce any smell but will increase the amount you pee.

Talking to your urologist on a regular basis to keep him or her informed is always a good idea and they may be able to help.
 
zan98931 said:
Im not sure where to begin!...Im 21 years old, i had/have spinal condition when i was born, several surgeries later, since i was 2 years old to when i was 16 years old, i have permanent incontinence. This is my deepest and most embarrassing secret ive never discussed with anyone and i kinda wanted to just vent here, idc if no one reads this even..ive been wearing diapers since...forever really, 24/7....have multiple bullies at school and in real life, making fun of the kid wearing a diaper..my family even is tired of my getting wet sometimes because the diaper leaked and causing urine stains on the sofa or the smell bothers them...kinda hard to mask the smell since i always have urinary tract infections and that makes all this and my life even more difficult...wearing perfumes dont work, it just makes the smell even more worse...and it isnt like few drops of urine or anything...its worse, so worse that i have to change a diaper every 3-4 hours...plus add the extra water i must drink so my kidneys dont shut down from the infection...im pretty sure im infertile by now ass well because of all this..cant masturbate, one real joy people seems to have, no pleasure from sex either, i get hard, sure...no feeling, as if everything is numb...

If anyone is out there, who is medically incontinence, please, give me a reason to live, tips to recover after a person in the elevator gives you this horrible look because of the smell, give me some hope....

Im terribly sorry if this is a completely wrong forum to post any of this, im not suicidal, i wouldnt do that to the person who has to clean up the remains of me, im just out of hope...
Click to expand...
You seriously need better diapers, and you absolutely need to stay well hydrated! As you found out, concentrated pee smells horrible and makes you more prone to uti's. Better diapers may cost more individually, but they last much longer which lowers their per-day cost. And that can make them overall less expensive than "cheap" store or insurance brands. They will be thicker, but they will leak a lot less often, and you'll have to change much less often as well.

I personally use Betterdry or Crinklz. I drink the recommended 2 liters of water per day, yet only need to change once at night and again before leaving for work in the morning. My diapers do not smell after even 12+ hours because I stay well hydrated, and I haven't had a daytime leak in years because I use premium diapers that don't leak unless completely saturated.
 
What Slomo says is true. Cheap diapers are worse and more expensive and not being well hydrated increases urine odor as well, so that’s a good advice. O normally use Tena slip maxi or abena abri form 4, but that’s personal choose between confort, discretion and absorbency. But try some of them, and it’ll make you feeling a bit relieved about that.
BYE!
 
Slomo said:
I personally use Betterdry or Crinklz. I drink the recommended 2 liters of water per day, yet only need to change once at night and again before leaving for work in the morning. My diapers do not smell after even 12+ hours because I stay well hydrated, and I haven't had a daytime leak in years because I use premium diapers that don't leak unless completely saturated.
Click to expand...

Well I followed your advise and they sure are good, one of the best diapers for daytime protection when out of the house for sure, but either your kidneys don't produce much urine or mine way too much but after 6 hours I completely soaked the middle section. I didin't leak but the leka guards felt so wet I'd think they would soon. (and its not from flooding, i have to go every few minutes and then its at most 20 ml, other times it is a constant dribble)
I don't even drink the 2L water but unfortunatly must have coffee to make my day viable, no coffee means a grumpy me :3
mainly mornings are much wetter for me than afternoons.
 
winterheart01 said:
Well I followed your advise and they sure are good, one of the best diapers for daytime protection when out of the house for sure, but either your kidneys don't produce much urine or mine way too much but after 6 hours I completely soaked the middle section. I didin't leak but the leka guards felt so wet I'd think they would soon. (and its not from flooding, i have to go every few minutes and then its at most 20 ml, other times it is a constant dribble)
I don't even drink the 2L water but unfortunatly must have coffee to make my day viable, no coffee means a grumpy me :3
mainly mornings are much wetter for me than afternoons.
Click to expand...
That's about right. After 6 hours some of the front/center part is pretty wet too. That's about when the diaper starts wicking for me, which easily gives me another 6 hours. I constantly drip pee throughout the day AND night (no slowed pee production at night either), so that probably gives my diaper more time to abdorb and wick better. Trying to take them to about 14-16 is where they will leak on me, and by then the diaper is fully saturated front to back anyways. One note I'd mention is to make sure you're activating the leak guards by pulling them up or running a finger under them before putting the diaper on. This greatly improves their capability to prevent leaks.

It's worth noting this current 3rd design is a cheapened up version of their 2nd design they had shortly after releasing in the US. Those version 2s could actually last 24 hours with my same level of hydration. Though by then I smelled bad and had a bad rash too. While it wasn't as helpfull for during the day, the capacity of the V2's never once leaked on me with my side sleeping. These V3's sometimes do leak on me.
 
Slomo said:
That's about right. After 6 hours some of the front/center part is pretty wet too. That's about when the diaper starts wicking for me, which easily gives me another 6 hours. I constantly drip pee throughout the day AND night (no slowed pee production at night either), so that probably gives my diaper more time to abdorb and wick better. Trying to take them to about 14-16 is where they will leak on me, and by then the diaper is fully saturated front to back anyways. One note I'd mention is to make sure you're activating the leak guards by pulling them up or running a finger under them before putting the diaper on. This greatly improves their capability to prevent leaks.

It's worth noting this current 3rd design is a cheapened up version of their 2nd design they had shortly after releasing in the US. Those version 2s could actually last 24 hours with my same level of hydration. Though by then I smelled bad and had a bad rash too. While it wasn't as helpfull for during the day, the capacity of the V2's never once leaked on me with my side sleeping. These V3's sometimes do leak on me.
Click to expand...

I see. I didn't dare to go on after those 6 hours , the wetness made me feel uneasy and despite plastic pants i decided to change.
I do say this diaper is an excellent day diaper because the thickness is concentrated more in the front and center as opposed to most diapers where they focus on the back. Also the padding is less wide which is beneficial for movement during the day, for the night I prefer extra wide padding such as forsite or rearz as those provide better protection for side sleepers.

I did activate the leak guards btw but I think its because of the wetting while sitting can sometimes cause parts to run to the sides when there is not enough room in the front to flow down, this happens when sitting on a chair that bends down, on harder surfaces I don't have this problem at all.

I think my first batch in 2016 was a V1, it was much stiffer and tapes came loose, also leaked sooner.
 
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