Help. What's wrong with me?

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BabyBodybuilder

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I was talking to my friend earlier, and we were talking about my diaper fetish. (He knows and he's fine with it) Anyways, later, I just felt like shit about this whole fetish thing... I felt embarassment, mortification, anger, fury, worried, completely stressed out, and just... frustrated. I started crying and I cut myself... What's wrong with me?
 

baseballbrett06

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Man don't let it get to you...and never hurt your self.. if ya wanna talk u know ya can get at me from when we talked before
 
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Nothing is wrong with you. You are MIKE THE BEST 1 thru 15!! You are the best there is and no one will be better then you. Because you are the BEST you tend to be hard on yourself..but Because your are the Best, you must always love yourself because no one is ever going to love you the way Mike The BEST can. Only you can truly be patient and compassionate to yourself. Enough people in the world will hate you and want to hurt you for no reason at all.. So it is important that you understand those feelings of embarassment and anger and frustration , because they will always be there..but not give in to them because then, they will win and you will lose and suffer..and when you suffer you seem to physically hurt yourself. Think of Cartoons, Marshmallow, Candy Cane, Cotton Candy..anything that makes your heart smile again!! When those feelings come, and they always will come to haunt you, fight them will yummy happy fun lovable things!! Because you are MIKE THE BEST and no stupid feelings are going to get in your way!! YAATTTAA!!
 

Mouse

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I must ask why cut yourself. Ive had friends that have in the past and they all regret it.
The way I see it is if you can't be proud of yourself then who can. Ive gone through these kind of feelings, and Ive come to realise that this is the way I am and yeah I am a freak but in the end it makes my life a hell of a lot more interesting.
 

Khaymen

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Diapers aside cutting is quite serious. You need to talk to a trained professional as soon as possible.
 

Aidyn

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Just my two cents, sorry it's so verbose!

I do hope that I will not be in trouble for saying this. Firstly and foremost I am not a doctor but I have a lot of experience with that, first hand from dating someone whom had that problem.

He wasn't an AB/DL or any such thing. However he did mutilate himself, badly sometimes. It is important if you are self mutilating that you talk to a professional. A doctor.

I'm not saying that it's a magical fix all or trying to give you some psycho babble, they can do things we can't. They can make sure your safe. And determine if there is need for further concern.

What your saying is too general and sensitive of a matter for me to advise you, despite that I would not feel comfortable doing that beyond to inform you that there is help available.

Some people react badly when they start doing those types of things and it can get out of hand if you become desensitized to it. You should reach out to someone you trust and if you can't there are crisis prevention hot lines you can call if you are thinking of hurting yourself. Help is out there, don't give up!

And for the record, the internet is not the best place to bring those kinds of things up. It's good your reaching out but not everyone online is your friend hun, you gotta think about safety too.

On this forum I can say it's okay cause I've lurked enough to tell you, that there is nothing shady tolerated here. Even still, opinions or feelings about the situation may vary.

I can't PM yet but you can easily find crisis hot lines in the phone book (usually in the front) and online. You can just google something like "crisis prevention hot line" or some such. They have ones specifically for teens too I believe, though I'm not sure of your age.

Be safe and reach out to those whom care about you. I know that they will know your situation better and probably can help you find a solution. Your life is a gift and you should choose how you treat yourself wisely.

Hang in there, I've known a lot of people who went through this kind of thing. It does get better if you let it.
 

dogboy

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Someone on ADISC chat gave me that... Ty for writing it... ._. It's really helping

MikeTB....cool name, by the way, I've felt the same, just not with the same subject. I've been in conversations that got intense, and later, I just didn't know how I came across, or I felt like I made a fool out of myself. Later, I felt depressed and in that dark place, and I'm 63 years old, so it happens to the best of us. If it helps any, I used to cut myself when I was in junior high and high school. I've even used cutting in a story I wrote for this site, called "Going Home". The theory is that we do it to make ourselves feel alive. Depression can make us feel so lost in a feeling of nothing, like we are nothing. I aimlessly cut, fantasizing that I could just cut a little deeper. Later, I had a shrink with his suicide card.

Cutting is about all of that and more, and for the life of me, I can't tell you now why I did it. When you feel like that, do something else. Maybe go talk with a parent, or a sibling if you have one. Watch something on television or come here and talk to us. I always check this site every night, so if you need someone, I will get back to you. So will plenty of others. Just don't hurt yourself, because there are so many hurts in the world that we have no control over. Celebrate yourself and that you are alive and part of the world. There is a reason for your being here, and life will get better. Hugs.
 
S

StoneFree

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What's wrong with yourself, you ask? Well, I'd say that you're embarrassed, mortified, and angry at youself, it's making you furious and worried, and you're stressing out about it. It must be making you really frustrated, so frustrated it's enough to make you cry and cut yourself. I win! :p

Okay, joking aside: I'd assume that since you actually spent time talking about your fetish out loud, using words, it hits you in the mind and make you think of yourself as a major freak. I feel in a similar way (but not as severe) when my mother brings up my fetish (she knows about it). That, or you may just be beginning the binge/purge cycle.
 
D

DRUS

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What's wrong with yourself, you ask? Well, I'd say that you're embarrassed, mortified, and angry at youself, it's making you furious and worried, and you're stressing out about it. It must be making you really frustrated, so frustrated it's enough to make you cry and cut yourself. I win! :p

Okay, joking aside: I'd assume that since you actually spent time talking about your fetish out loud, using words, it hits you in the mind and make you think of yourself as a major freak. I feel in a similar way (but not as severe) when my mother brings up my fetish (she knows about it). That, or you may just be beginning the binge/purge cycle.

I can relate to this. When my mother first brought it up after knowing, it hit me like a brick! I immediately retreated to my room and started freaking out, pacing, and mentally punching myself for about two hours. I was still shaking the next day...

I can't say I know much about cutting, but I can echo what others have said, knowing from experience that it helped someone I know. Hang in there, I'm sure there are people in your life who care about you, and will stay by you. Cherish them, and never let them go.
 

Embrace

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Please don't try and hurt yourself. It just saddens me that people would do such things to their own bodies. Cutting yourself isn't the way to go. Whenever I feel terrible about anything, I hum that tune from The Sound of Music and think happy thoughts.
As for your feelings about your fetish, it may be just a matter of accepting yourself. It took me quite a while- a year or so. I began realizing I was a TB/DL last spring and it was a little creepy to me so I started having negative thoughts about it. It was a binge/purge cycle. I wished I had found an article like that earlier. You should read it.

Anyways I hope you are doing fine right now. And please, don't hurt yourself; what good will that bring?

Honestly, I don't see much wrong in you. You're just trying to deal with your diaper fetish and emotions. Try to come into terms with the fetish and emotions.
 

monkeyman

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Aint nothin wrong with being into DL and other such uniqueness. So what if what you enjoy does not follow the status quo, so long as what you are into harms no one else. In such situations your own enjoyment and happiness comes first above what you may be trained by society to believe.
 

Kid

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When you cut yourself the pain becomes physical. Do not add more pain to the problem.

There is nothing wrong with having feelings. Just find someone to talk with about what is going on in your head.

Do not try to meet some defined "norm" and just relax about it and in the morning talk to your friend and ask for help. Be honest with your friend.
 

Chillinpuffy

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Nothings wrong with you Mike, its all your perception of yourself and your behavior... It seems like you're trying to hard at putting yourself in the shoes of the people around you and are becoming anxious because of it. I've felt and many of the people here and in the world have felt the same emotions before, of low self worth, shame and fear. Please understand that i've been where you are at least with the self mutilation due to depression, and although its really hard to completely get past it, and it tends to be a life long struggle, you just need to learn ways of coping with your anxiety. Your life and body is your own, the opinions of those around you are their own, no matter the circumstances no one would ever wish harm to you and you shouldn't treat yourself that way. Its obvious from saying that that you are being exceedingly critical of yourself, relax, if a friend is still talking to you even when knowing something as foreign as lloving diapers, you're lucky... I'd love to be able to talk with a friend about diapers... You're going to be fine but I would go to a counselor and learn some coping strategies to tackle your anxiety. You're your biggest enemy, this pain will make you a stronger and more developed person, keep fighting because you have it in you and i'm sure we're all here to help you along the way
 
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