Giving up the DL lifestyle

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Idaho

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About 2 weeks ago I started searching for a counselor that would help me to stop wanting to wear diapers. Yes I know people, it's a part of me but myself I feel that I can't move on in my life with this over my head. So next week will be the 3rd session with my counselor, she is very great and very supportive. I have noticed that I have opened up to her like no one else in my life, not even my own mother where I could tell my mom anything, but I couldn't tell her my about my diapers.
 

PaddedInEastvale

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I have tried to give up diapers many times, but failed each time. My longest was about 2 years, but the desire came back strong. Granted, I never sought "professional" help to rid myself of them.
 

TeddyBearCowboy

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About 2 weeks ago I started searching for a counselor that would help me to stop wanting to wear diapers. Yes I know people, it's a part of me but myself I feel that I can't move on in my life with this over my head. So next week will be the 3rd session with my counselor, she is very great and very supportive. I have noticed that I have opened up to her like no one else in my life, not even my own mother where I could tell my mom anything, but I couldn't tell her my about my diapers.


Idaho, I more than understand where you are coming from. I have been in your shoes numerous times and for a great number of years was so frustrated with this part of myself and wanted to be rid of it and move on in my life.

While I am not saying it is impossible to do this, it is certainly highly unlikely. You can reject these feelings and abandon them for years, but ultimately, the deep rooted interests rise up again. I have personally quit all ABDL interests for a 2 and a half year period, but ultimately I found myself again engaged in participation of this interest. What I found was that I am able to control my actions regarding this interest, but the thoughts and strong feelings are deep inside of me and are part of who I am. They are as strongly rooted as my spiritual beliefs and so much a part of who I am.

There was a time I was so ashamed with who I was and I hated myself for having this interest. I felt I was some sort of freak and couldn't stand that I did these things, but yet I still couldn't shake them.

After many years of experience, I have come to realize that these feelings are not a bad thing. They are part of who I am, and part of what makes me uniquely me. I actually and fully now understand that I am a better person because of these feelings. I am so much more able to understand others and I am more compassionate, caring, and have a bigger and broader perspective of humanity that I would otherwise have. It is something that, while I don't share in public settings, I am proud of and see the strengths in myself that exist because of it.

I admire your efforts to talk with others about this. I think that talking with counselors is a good thing, in that they can help you in some ways. Being able to talk to someone about this is a huge benefit, and I applaud ADISC for being here, because this is a forum where you truly can express yourself in a safe manner and you are among others who understand. But, while counselors may be trained in psychology, unless they actually are ABDL themselves, they are not going to be able to fully understand your interests.

I wish you the best in your efforts. But at the same time offer a welcoming hug if you find that you are not able to abandon these interests. You will not be adersely judged by others should you ultimately find you can't fully give up your ABDL interests. Rather, you are among friends here who do care about you as a person and many who have already been through the same things you are experiencing now.

My best advice that I can offer is to take a deep look into yourself, and see yourself for all of the strengths and abilities that you have. Consider the relationship that you have with these strengths and attributes and understand that you are not less of a person for having an ABDL interest. I am not going to tell you to not try to abandon this interest if you truly want to. That is your choice. But I will pray that you may accept who you are regardless if you are successful in abandoning this interest or not.

You are uniquely you and you should be proud of who you are.

:detective3

TeddyBearCowboy
 

ST50

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I am incontinent and dependant on nappies but have become unashamedly DL as a result. I couldn't imagine not wearing nappies now and if my incontinence could be cured which sadly it can not. I would find it very difficult to give up wearing nappies as they are just part of who I am now and it just feels so natural to wear them all the time.
 

Idaho

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Thanks everyone, I believe I can require myself with professional help to have a different sexual fetish. Because I started to wet the bed at the age of 13-14 after some major trauma. It only lasted for about a year but of course that was the perfect time because I was at that age that I was masterbating multiple times a day because of the change of puberty. So I believe I can start moving diapers out of my life little by little while replacing it with some other fetish that I think is better for me and a future relationship.
 

Slomo

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Have you considered just trying to remove the sexual diaper fetish, but leaving the diaper lover part intact? You know you CAN actually enjoy diapers without them being sexual. In fact, a big majority here, including all AB and DL's do not have a fetish at all. Sure it often includes some sexuality component for most, but that hardly makes loving diapers a fetish.
 

Angellothefox

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Have you considered just trying to remove the sexual diaper fetish, but leaving the diaper lover part intact? You know you CAN actually enjoy diapers without them being sexual. In fact, a big majority here, including all AB and DL's do not have a fetish at all. Sure it often includes some sexuality component for most, but that hardly makes loving diapers a fetish.

^I do but when it wares off it is just nice to read about them. Through out my years I have had cross overs still involving the not safe for work fantasy with a nappy and it has changed from not just fantasying about a nappy in a not safe for work way. But I am just a minority not a majority. NOT everyone is obsessed and has high functioning Autism like me. I do not know why I put that in probably because I am proud to be autistic.^

Idaho said:
Thanks everyone, I believe I can require myself with professional help to have a different sexual fetish. Because I started to wet the bed at the age of 13-14 after some major trauma. It only lasted for about a year but of course that was the perfect time because I was at that age that I was masterbating multiple times a day because of the change of puberty. So I believe I can start moving diapers out of my life little by little while replacing it with some other fetish that I think is better for me and a future relationship.

Just because what you say here Idaho keep it PG 13 rule 2 ToS.
Though I think you can use the word fetish. I think it you could have worded it slightly better by saying. "It only lasted for about a year but of course that was the perfect time because I was going though the teenage change." Or going though the change. I am not mad I am just warning you.


TeddyBearCowboy is right though and I have a simler story

I went through a stage thinking that mummy was not happy with me and because I am religes God was not happy with me ether. So I deleated all my babyfur stuff and diaper stuff from my account and felt a little better. But the feeling came back and I decided to make a abdl account on google+
But after a while I felt the guilt that God was not happy with me and he was bugging me to get rid of it so I did. I kept the gmail.

but food is ready
 

KimbaFoxNatsume

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Just because what you say here Idaho keep it PG 13 rule 2 ToS.
Though I think you can use the word fetish. I think it you could have worded it slightly better by saying. "It only lasted for about a year but of course that was the perfect time because I was going though the teenage change." Or going though the change. I am not mad I am just warning you.

There's nothing wrong with the words puberty, masturbation, or fetish. It's not against the PG-13 rule to talk about sexual topics, it's only against the rules to get really graphic about it.
 

BrandonHoward2016

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It took a long time for me to open up about diapers to my councoler, turned out she put me on stronger medicine. I dont suggest telling them if they do not HAVE to know
 

cm90210

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Thanks everyone, I believe I can require myself with professional help to have a different sexual fetish. Because I started to wet the bed at the age of 13-14 after some major trauma. It only lasted for about a year but of course that was the perfect time because I was at that age that I was masterbating multiple times a day because of the change of puberty. So I believe I can start moving diapers out of my life little by little while replacing it with some other fetish that I think is better for me and a future relationship.

Hi Idaho I sincerely wish you the best of luck with your new therapist. I myself have seen quite a number of therapist over the years and at least four or five of them were rather explicitly trying to help me get rid of at least the habit. I had very intentionally sought out each of these counselors to help me stop wearing or using. As some others have said, I had some "success" and that I was able to go several months at a time without relapse. But over the course of many years, no matter how little I actually wore are used, I still have the desire underneath that didn't go anywhere.

One request I would have for you is please come back and tell us how it goes or how it has gone. There are many of us on here who really would like to see this desire disappear, we just really doubt it's possible given our life experience. I for one, While I am at peace with diapers completely, would love to not have to worry about the outside consequences of being discovered: lost jobs strained relationships etc. so really if you end up in a year or two down the road and you know longer have the urge whatsoever, please do tell!

Like many here, my most recent experience with counselors has been in the context of trying to find a healthy balance wear diapers don't rule my life but where I'm also not constantly at war with myself. All of my current counselors, and I mean by that the last three, have agreed with me that this isn't something that will ever go away and then I will be happiest if I just find a way to except that.

I have tried several different types of therapy including cognitive behavioral therapy, EM DR, a form of hypnosis, clinical prayer exercises, exposure therapy, your standard talk therapy, the list goes on and on. What I can vouch for is that any of these forms of therapy have helped me with my emotional life and to be more grounded as a human being, but none of them I've gotten rid of the underlying desire.

Anyways best of luck, but know that you were not alone if it doesn't seem to go away.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

Cottontail

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It's counter-intuitive, but from all of the discussions I've seen here over the years, it really seems like the diaper desires rule you only to the extent that you try to reject them. Once you embrace them--or at least make it very easy for yourself to indulge them as soon as they occur--you end up with a lot more "normal" time on your hands. Trying to quit, on the other hand, just means that the desires are accumulating somewhere, becoming a steadily growing distraction that does, as you say, hang "over your head". Eventually, it can't be contained, and you indulge like crazy until you're sick to death of diapers, and then you go back to "quitting". This is called the "binge/purge cycle", and if there's a real evil in having a diaper fetish, it's being disposed to wrestling with it like that. Again, the best you can do is just make life as easy as possible for your diaper fetish: Maintain an ample supply of diapers, wear them when you need to, masturbate when you need to, etc. There's no quicker way to get diapers off your mind and move on.

Plus, once you do find yourself with more of that "normal" time because you're indulging your fetish regularly, you'll find that those "normal" activities distract you from diapers to an extent. A balance will start to form between the diapers and the many other things you (almost certainly) enjoy. That is what "acceptance" means, in my opinion. You don't have to like having a fetish. You just have to realize that it's there and is (probably) not going away.
 
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AngelicaPickles

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I have lost interested in wearing them Due to being caught looking at diaper's twice and my mom and dad wont think its ok from there reaction's from me looking at them
 

Trevor

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^I do but when it wares off it is just nice to read about them. Through out my years I have had cross overs still involving the not safe for work fantasy with a nappy and it has changed from not just fantasying about a nappy in a not safe for work way. But I am just a minority not a majority. NOT everyone is obsessed and has high functioning Autism like me. I do not know why I put that in probably because I am proud to be autistic.^



Just because what you say here Idaho keep it PG 13 rule 2 ToS.
Though I think you can use the word fetish. I think it you could have worded it slightly better by saying. "It only lasted for about a year but of course that was the perfect time because I was going though the teenage change." Or going though the change. I am not mad I am just warning you.


TeddyBearCowboy is right though and I have a simler story

I went through a stage thinking that mummy was not happy with me and because I am religes God was not happy with me ether. So I deleated all my babyfur stuff and diaper stuff from my account and felt a little better. But the feeling came back and I decided to make a abdl account on google+
But after a while I felt the guilt that God was not happy with me and he was bugging me to get rid of it so I did. I kept the gmail.

but food is ready

There's nothing wrong with the words puberty, masturbation, or fetish. It's not against the PG-13 rule to talk about sexual topics, it's only against the rules to get really graphic about it.

Thank you! I don't know where people get this nonsense about not being able to use certain words here. The rules refer to PG-13 content (https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthread.php/697-The-Rules) and in addition the powers that be here have been clear there's no restriction on language. This leaves a wide degree of latitude for anyone who has seen what they get up to in a PG-13 film. If you're making a post to get off, there's every possibility of a rules violation. If you're explaining something real that you have questions about or need support on, odds are good that it's perfectly fine.

To the OP: I think it's being said very well by others here. The way you move on is by acceptance. I wouldn't say it's impossible to shift it to some other kink but why bother? There's always going to be something about yourself that keeps you from making connections and having relationships if you choose to look at it this way. We're imperfect beings and we know our failings better than those around us. Accept those things and learn to make the best of your imperfect self.
 
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I think that several posters have addressed this well. I think the thing I want to add is about how to deal with this with your counselor. Idaho, what you said is that you're going to the counselor because you want help with ceasing to wear diapers. And while many of us think that's not the best choice of goals, that's still your goal and you're not going to get help with something that specific until you're able to open up to the counselor and at least tell her about your interest in wearing diapers so that you can talk with her about it, where it came from, and ways that you can deal with it.

If you're having trouble opening up about this core issue after a few sessions, might I suggest writing something down? You could prepare a short explanation with time to go over it, fret about it, and edit it until you're happy (we can help with that too if you want to post some text and have us offer suggestions here on ADISC). Another thing you could do, even, would be to print out a copy of this discussion thread and give that to your counselor if you feel that it captures your worry well and you want her to see your feelings and the opinions of several others.
 

Idaho

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First of all I wonder that the reason why there are a lot of people that say you cannot change it is because the ones who have changed are not on this forum anymore because they have no desire anymore.

Secondly, if the rule says PG-13 think about the movies now, PG-13 movies are basically rated R and rated R movies are like rated X from what it use to be 15 years ago. Plus the forum you have to be over 18, hopefully by then you know what masterbating, sex, and/or fetish is.

Thirdly, my first session I opened up really quick, which isn't normal for me, because I am a head strong person and I set a goal and I won't stop until I reach it. The first session and even on the paper work I told her that I wanted to stop my attraction to adult diapers and I told her how it was all started. The second session was my life in detail, that included how many times I masterbated with diapers or thought about diapers while masterbating in the past and present. She had me start a log of when I masterbated throughout the day to see how many times I have wearing diapers while masterbating and when I looked at the forum and porn. That way we can have a timeline and know what we can slowly cut out to start the process of getting rid of diapers in my life.
 

mattyd

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Good luck, but I think it would be a challenge to ever fully give up. I lived in a community that was fairly communal for a while and the desire stayed there even when I had no access whatsoever. Once I was back in normal life, it actually came back with a vengeance and ended up doing very long periods of 24/7. Once I accepted this part of me, it helped me work through a lot of other parts of me that were also kind of sexual-based (very uncomfortable around sex in-general and somehow caused confusion around sexuality about who I was). Now I wear a diaper here and there and only about 10 or 20 percent of the time do I ever masturbate in them, when before it was almost every time and afterwards I would do the purge cycle and throw away a lot. In less than a year I will be moving in with my soon to be wife and we have a little room upstairs where I will keep diapers or other stuff, she is willing to let me get that part taken care of whenever I need it and accepts that part of me. I just see not accepting the diaper fetish as potentially the same as not accepting homosexuality or the like, it may end up causing a ton of psychological issues. I would be curious to know what kind of counselor would even be willing to try to do this to a person, unless it is causing super distress and ruining all relationships and potentially impacting your personal life, generally the psychological advice these days is to not try to suppress it. Though some of the more right wing christian psychologists tend to try to suppress a lot of things (I live in the South and have had many friends that have been psychologically damaged by them convincing them that things bdsm, being gay/lesbian, etc are mental disorders).
 

OKDB

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I wish you much luck. As someone who has been down this path I was never "cured". Although I had no intentions of doing so, and was forced into receiving therapy after my parents found out. I really hope one of two things happens for you. Either you find "help" and it is successful for you and you go on living a comfortable life. Or you come to terms and accept yourself. Either way I really wish the best for you. Good luck!
 

ST50

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I couldn't imagine trying to give up my nappies now. Even if my incontinence could be cured which it can't I would chose to stay in nappies.
 

CrazySmoker

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Hmmm, here're a lot of interesting material.

Personally I tryed to fix my negative position about my dark side, mostly with negativity and some autodestructive coducts. Years after that, when I was forced to leave it for some not short peroids, so lot of times "wish called." And it didn't stop, worse - it turned into anxiety and depresions.

May I still think I'm a few "out of normal," but from negative it turned into some indeference. I think it's better than before. Now I can enjoy How and when I can, always when I'm alone in some private site.

Finally, Who's normal ? That can't change any shrink.
 
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