Getting kicked out

[scoo]

I'm getting kicked out of my house in a month or two. I have no idea why. It's not an age thing. My sister stayed there till she was 28. But I got the boot at 19. so I have no idea what to do next. I do have my licnse but no car.



Wish me luck:
-Scoo

 

[h3g3l]

I'm getting kicked out of my house in a month or two. I have no idea why. It's not an age thing. My sister stayed there till she was 28. But I got the boot at 19. so I have no idea what to do next. I do have my licnse but no car.



Wish me luck:
-Scoo

It's a good thing.

In fact, being booted out (with compassion) is the greatest gift we receive from our parents.

 

[scoo]

It's a good thing.

In fact, being booted out (with compassion) is the greatest gift we receive from our parents.

It wasn't compassion. it was "I'm sick of you. So leave."

At least thats what she told me.

 

[h3g3l]

It wasn't compassion. it was "I'm sick of you. So leave."

At least thats what she told me.

Aha.

I still maintain that's a gift--I wouldn't want to be around that for any longer than I had to!

Looks like it's apartment- and job-hunting for you, then.

Welcome to adult-hood.

 

[Calico]

Did you ask her why she is sick of you?

 

[scoo]

Aha.

I still maintain that's a gift--I wouldn't want to be around that for any longer than I had to!

Looks like it's apartment- and job-hunting for you, then.

Welcome to adult-hood.

I have a job already so thats out of the way. I just need to find a car and apartment.

Did you ask her why she is sick of you?

Yes and no reply from her. She is very stubern

 

[NoahKokoro]

Ouch, do you know anyone you could rent an apartment with?

 

[scoo]

Ouch, do you know anyone you could rent an apartment with?

Sadly no. My friend live to far away now and I would not be able to move in with them.

 

[Calico]

A mother kicking their child out in the streets for no reason is cold hearted and selfish IMO. I mean she could have charged you a little rent of she was so worried about her bills and having to pay for a roof over your head. Lot of parents do that with their adult kids unless they are going to school.

If my own mother did this to me and I didn't make enough money to live on my own or I had nowhere to go, I'd be in panic and have a breakdown because of my anxiety and I don't do good with all of a sudden change. I have to be prepared for them. If all of a sudden we got evicted from our apartment because the health department found something wrong with it that was a health hazard so the landlords told all her tenants to move out, I would fall into panic because I wouldn't know where to go but I have thought about if that ever happens, I can stay with my aunt and uncle and we can rent a storage unit if they don't have room in their basement and garage for all our stuff. But if they said no, then I would fall into panic and my sister in laws house is dirty because she never cleans and my in laws live in a one bedroom apartment. I am sure my aunt and uncle would let us stay with them until we find a new place. But the sudden change would give me stress.

 

[Pramrider]

A mother kicking their child out in the streets for no reason is cold hearted and selfish IMO.

Agreed!!!

Sure, parents want their children to grow to a point they can be independent and make it on their own. To that end they should be training them as they're growing up to assume more and more responsibility for themselves. And sometimes gentle nudges or pushes are needed along the way to help them try their "wings" a little more, encouraging them in that direction. But, to one day up and say, "I'm sick of you - leave!!!" is pretty cold hearted on the part of a parent. In today's economy, unexpectedly throwing them into a "sink or swim" situation by ordering them to leave their home is more likely going to see them sinking, not swimming! Not very loving or caring at all IMO. If an "of-age" child is being abusive and upsetting the environment at home then I could see giving them an ultimatum - straighten up or out you go! If there's no behavior issues, why force them out with such harsh, unloving sounding words, especially if it's going to be a financial or other kind of hardship on them?

~Pramrider

 

[Kokuei]

Scoo, if you dont have any job, and no ability to support yourself and survive on your own. And your mother is still kicking you out you can call family services on her.

 

[Talula]

He's said he does have a job though, and he's over 18... so he kinda can't.

 

[h3g3l]

Scoo, if you dont have any job, and no ability to support yourself and survive on your own. And your mother is still kicking you out you can call family services on her.

I cannot believe this is really the case. As far as I know, dim-cap aside, a parent has no further obligation to their child after the child achieves the age of majority.

But, to one day up and say, "I'm sick of you - leave!!!" is pretty cold hearted on the part of a parent. In today's economy, unexpectedly throwing them into a "sink or swim" situation by ordering them to leave their home is more likely going to see them sinking, not swimming!

I doubt this happened over the course of one day. The OP's post gave me the distinct impression that mom did not want another exotic pet to care for until it was nearly 30. This is her business.

Not very loving or caring at all IMO. If an "of-age" child is being abusive and upsetting the environment at home then I could see giving them an ultimatum - straighten up or out you go! If there's no behavior issues, why force them out with such harsh, unloving sounding words, especially if it's going to be a financial or other kind of hardship on them?

~Pramrider

The flip-side of "mom's-house-mom's-rules" comes here, with notice and tone. Hopefully, this "conversation" came at the end of several failed attempts to be more gentle and provide hints--such as an "apartment hunters" magazine left out, queries of "don't you want your own place?" or the like--or was part of a long-understood agreement. As the second element doesn't seem to be in place, one may hope that the first happened.

My earlier comment of "welcome to adult-hood" was not meant to be cruel, but to pretty much state the sum of my comments here: shit happens and life sucks sometimes. Maturity comes in standing against these vortices of doom and marching onward--character and integrity requires this done even if it's totally unfair.

Scoo: You will ultimately be better off for this, really. In my own experience, it is entirely possible to love people even if living with them drives both parties utterly and completely insane. With time, maybe your mother will let you in on where her thinking was, but until then, you'll have enough distance to make seeing each other a conscious decision.

Oh, and you'll be able to have as large a stash as you can support. :smile1:

 

[Darkfinn]

It's a good thing.

In fact, being booted out (with compassion) is the greatest gift we receive from our parents.

Amen to that!

Nice to see I'm not the only one here who is advocating that all you teenage and twenty-something unmotivated freeloaders get your arses out of mom/dad's house. Go live on your own... pay your own bills... buy your own stuff... and figure out how to survive. Sucky economic climate or not... the rest of us adults are doing it, just as our parents did, just as their parents did.

It's not easy... and it's not fun... especially to start with. But you will be thanking them years down the road for doing what they did.

Can't find a job? The Armed Forces are always hiring.

 

[Calico]

And I've read people are moving back in with their parents because they have lost their jobs due to the economy so they couldn't afford their home anymore.

 

[dcviper]

Can't find a job? The Armed Forces are always hiring.

Yeah, but the military lifestyle (especially for E-4 and below) makes it pretty damn difficult to support recreational diaper wearing...

 

[Kokuei]

He's said he does have a job though, and he's over 18... so he kinda can't.

There are still things that can be done. Cause he still must be able to support himself. If his job dosent make him enough to support himself. There are things that can sill be done. I almost was kicked out myself when i was 19.

But since i dont know all of the circumstances. i wont go on a major rant.

All i will say is I wish you good luck Scoo. And i hope things smooth out in the end.

^_^ Kokuei^_^

 

[ricky]

Amen to that!

Nice to see I'm not the only one here who is advocating that all you teenage and twenty-something unmotivated freeloaders get your arses out of mom/dad's house. Go live on your own... pay your own bills... buy your own stuff... and figure out how to survive. Sucky economic climate or not... the rest of us adults are doing it, just as our parents did, just as their parents did.

It's not easy... and it's not fun... especially to start with. But you will be thanking them years down the road for doing what they did.

Can't find a job? The Armed Forces are always hiring.

That's what I did to get out of my parents house. It was more or less a mutual thing, I couldn't wait to get out, and they couldn't wait until I did.

As for doing the diaper thing while in the military, well, unless you live off base in your own place, it's really impossible to do.

 

[Falkio]

Scoo,

I have mixed feelings about the situation. Pramrider is certainly right about this being a bad time to evict you, and that it would force you into a "sink or swim" situation. But at the same time, I agree with Darkfinn. Being an adult, it is time to start your own life. Society expects able bodied young men to be productive. My family is already making plans to send me off, and I'm not technically even out of high-school. By this time next summer, I'll be moved-out and off for college.

Your mom's words could have been less harsh. Saying those things could not have been very motivating! If you weren't disobeying her rules, or abusing her home, then I see no reason to. What about trying to negotiate something in the meantime? Maybe just until you have arrangements with a room mate, or a bit more money to exist on your own. Either way, I encourage you to embrace responsibility, as well as the freedom is comes with. I can't wait to move out. I have nothing in common with my family.

Are you planning to go to school?

 

[Pramrider]

The flip-side of "mom's-house-mom's-rules" comes here, with notice and tone. Hopefully, this "conversation" came at the end of several failed attempts to be more gentle and provide hints--such as an "apartment hunters" magazine left out, queries of "don't you want your own place?" or the like--or was part of a long-understood agreement. As the second element doesn't seem to be in place, one may hope that the first happened.

That's the main problem with replying to these types of domestic situations. You don't know everything that has gone down between child and parent over the years. All you have is one side of the issue to take at face value and give your *best shot* opinion on. I do know there are parents who really can't wait to get rid of their kids and are cruel enough to boot them out when they're of age, doesn't matter whether or not they can make it on their own. They want to rid themselves of parental responsibility as soon as they can. Why they had children to begin with is beyond me if they feel that way about them. I do a lot of observing of parents interacting with their kids while out in public and most times all I can do is feel pity for the kids having the kinds of parents they're stuck with. Their parents need a good, swift kick in the rear IMO. I'm not the perfect parent, but some of these people are real "pieces of work" when it comes to rearing kids.

Sorry, Scoo, didn't mean to stray off your topic - the "being kicked out" problem at hand.

~Pramrider