Getting caught - What to do ?

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Littledaimon

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I've been reading a recent thread about what some members did when they got caught, and made me realise that I wouldn't know what to say if this dreaded nightmare becomes true (Which will be a reality eventually) :(

I know the circumstance will vary greatly, one may lie if you bump into a friend who saw the diapers you bought, or if a relative finds one (clean) diaper in a random place (Could say a gag gift, or that you found it in an old box), that may not be so bad and gets us thinking about being more careful, but what about if you parents/brothers found your main stash ?

I think most of us have a stash of diapers, so I am asking for an advice from more experienced members, what to do if a close relative finds your stash/package of diapers with optional pacifiers or baby items :confused: ?

Should I tell the complete or partial truth ? What should I say to not make this worse ? If they don't say anything should I tell something so they won't be interpreting things wrong ?
I would greatly appreciate your reply
 
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luke123

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I've been reading a recent thread about what some members did when they got caught, and made me realise that I wouldn't know what to say if this dreaded nightmare becomes true (Which will be a reality eventually) :(

I know the circumstance will vary greatly, one may lie if you bump into a friend who saw the diapers you bought, or if a relative finds one (clean) diaper in a random place (Could say a gag gift, or that you found it in an old box), that may not be so bad and gets us thinking about being more careful, but what about if you parents/brothers found your main stash ?

I think most of us have a stash of diapers, so I am asking for an advice from more experienced members, what to do if a close relative finds your stash/package of diapers with optional pacifiers or baby items :confused: ?

Should I tell the complete or partial truth ? What should I say to not make this worse ? If they don't say anything should I tell something so they won't be interpreting things wrong ?
I would greatly appreciate your reply

I haven't got the answer for you i'm afraid but i think i have been found out! When i was at work the other day my mum had come over to mine and started doing some tidying up and putting things into my wardrobe where i have my nappies stashed behind some clothes hanging on a trouser rail, when i went into my wardrobe though the other day i noticed my clothes had moved out of place and my nappies were completely on show so as you can imagine my heart skipped a beat and i have been wondering ever since what to say if she confronts me?? I would also be very thankful of any ideas
 
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Lozza1979

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Personally I would be honest and say that you just like wearing nappy's.You could lie and say that you have been experiencing incontinence issues, but then they would probably send you to get checked up at your local doctors and probably end up having to lie to them too.Just explain that nappy fetishism is very common and you're not hurting anyone and there are many thousand of others that also enjoy nappy's.This may not make your parents feel much better, but I think its all you can do in your situation.Just be honest and don't lie, because parents can spot a lie from a mile off and it wont help.That's my opinion anyhow.I don't live with my parents and have my own place, but I'm terrified of my friends finding out.

If you get caught by friends then I would say you have been having health issues and are currently seeing a specialist, unless they were open minded enough to be trusted with your AB/DL side.
 

Littledaimon

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I haven't got the answer for you i'm afraid but i think i have been found out! When i was at work the other day my mum had come over to mine and started doing some tidying up and putting things into my wardrobe where i have my nappies stashed behind some clothes hanging on a trouser rail, when i went into my wardrobe though the other day i noticed my clothes had moved out of place and my nappies were completely on show so as you can imagine my heart skipped a beat and i have been wondering ever since what to say if she confronts me?? I would also be very thankful of any ideas

Thats awful ! I can imagine the feeling if you see the diapers out of place , well thank you for the reply, I hope some people could give us some advice since I made this thread to help others in the same situation.

Personally I would be honest and say that you just like wearing nappy's.You could lie and say that you have been experiencing incontinence issues, but then they would probably send you to get checked up at your local doctors and probably end up having to lie to them too.Just explain that nappy fetishism is very common and you're not hurting anyone and there are many thousand of others that also enjoy nappy's.This may not make your parents feel much better, but I think its all you can do in your situation.Just be honest and don't lie, because parents can spot a lie from a mile off and it wont help.That's my opinion anyhow.I don't live with my parents and have my own place, but I'm terrified of my friends finding out.

If you get caught by friends then I would say you have been having health issues and are currently seeing a specialist, unless they were open minded enough to be trusted with your AB/DL side.

Thank you Lozza, I do believe honesty is the best since lying about a health problem to your parents will cause serious trouble, but I wouldn't know what to say, raw honesty ?
 

ShAd0w10

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I'd just be honest. I wouldn't tell them e v e r y t h i n g but just that you like diapers and that they're comfortable. If they find the pacifier or stuffed animals or whatever, tell them the same thing, it comforts you. I wouldn't lie about being incontinent to some people, mainly your parents/your spouse/any other close relative, because as Lozza mentioned, you may have a visit to the doctors and they are hard to lie to. Might as well come clean. Most people will find it humorous or weird at first, but I don't think they'll care as much as you think. Your fear is in your head. If you act suspicious or nervous they'll think there's something wrong with you, but if you act calm and explain rationally and honestly, I'm sure they'll understand, they'll respect you more for telling the truth as well.
 

Littledaimon

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Sure I rather be honest before lie about it, but what is everything ? Should I avoid saying anything specific ?
I am trying to figure out what to say if this moment arrives soon, but there's no way to know the reaction. I will not lie about having IC problems, my parents know me and lying about it will get me into more trouble.
 

Cranky

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This is quite the age old question that almost everyone of is into this has asked themselves. Some in the end have people whether friends or family find out.
If you think being honest is best in this situation or to lie is up to you.
Do you want to be honest about this?
You'd have to understand what it means if someone knows. Do you think this person would care?

I do know how you feel. I was found out by my mother a year or so ago.
I was honest and she accepted it, she said "...what you do in your room behind a closed door is no ones business but your own..." She didn't say that she didn't want to hear about it ever again but I could tell that was the case.
If your parents are the ones who find out (or other family, or friends) I would hope that they respect you enough to keep it private and continue to love you as if this new knowledge doesn't change anything about their perception of you.
 
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ShAd0w10

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Sure I rather be honest before lie about it, but what is everything ? Should I avoid saying anything specific ?
I am trying to figure out what to say if this moment arrives soon, but there's no way to know the reaction. I will not lie about having IC problems, my parents know me and lying about it will get me into more trouble.

Well, I would probably avoid "too much information" For example, don't say it's your fetish or how much you like wetting or messing in them, just that diapers along with pacifiers or whatever are just comfort items, and you like feeling young. You could show them this site if they're interested to show that you're not alone, there are many like you out there. You could tell them about the whole ab/dl thing if you want, but it may be hard to explain and it may confuse them more, there are some sites that explain ab/dl so you may want to show them those or at least study them so you know what to say on that. It's up to you how much to tell them.

I understand being a little nervous, but I wouldn't worry too much about the reaction. It's just more unnecessary stress on you. Just remember, as long as you're doing something that's not harming anyone, you're just being you, their reaction of you is their problem. Or.. something along those lines, it was said better in that one Facebook post. lol
 

BBChris

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Well I got found out when by my mom when I was like 11. Wasn't really fun and she definitely didn't approve but I just kept on getting them when I could and she'd keep yelling at me about it. Now however she admits that it's not really a big deal even though she doesn't really understand it.
 

luke123

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Well i still haven't seen my mum but i'm sure at some point it will pop up in conversation. Thanks everyone for all the advice, i think if i was to come clean about it all she wouldn't be overly surprised as i was caught at a younger age with them but at the end of the day they make me feel happy so why should i really worry about what other people think.
 
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Unfortunately, the correct answer is "it depends" (pun fully intended). You have to think about who the person is that found out, your own personal situation, and what kind of relationship you have and want to have with the person.

Some general things to think about.
1. Is the person open-minded? If yes, just tell them it's for pleasure and not to worry.
2. Does the person respect your privacy even if they don't necessarily approve? If so, you can say that it's private, not harmful, and apologize for being careless in leaving your things out (or request that they not go through your stuff if they weren't out).
3. Does the person have power over you (e.g. Parents of someone under 18): explain as best you can why it's important and not harmful, but also abide by their decisions and be mature and honest. If you don't think you can go without even when confronted by disapproving family, I think it's better to say so and try to work something out, although there's an argument for just getting better at being sneaky.
4. Can you play it off? Depending on the exact nature of the discovery and how well the person you're talking to can read you, you can make a call to lie. Especially if your interaction with the person is short term (temporary roommate), making drama may be a bad plan.
 

BlueGrey

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As I said in a parallel post, if you think it is coming to a discussion, you might want to be the instigator. That way you can get you head ready for the confrontation, and not be caught by surprise when she brings it up without warning.
There are certainly a lot worse things we could be into to try to conquer stress and depression. Most people use alcohol, drugs and promiscuous sex. Makes a diaper sound like child's play. (Pun intended)
 

Stripeh

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My parents would be pissed if I didn't have the shame to try to hide it or lie about it.

Nothing says "I'm sorry" like "PLEASE DON'T TELL DAD!"

If you know your parents, you should be able to handle it well. If, for example, you were caught with alcohol in your room before you could legally purchase it, that could give you a great baseline for this discussion.
 

Adventurer

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There's not one universal answer to this. Like ArchieRoni said, there are a lot of possible factors, including what your parents are like as people. It also depends on the severity of how you were caught. Whether they find a stray pacifier (something you could play off) or an entire stash of things makes a big difference.

That said, if you do get caught, there's one thing you need to do regardless of who does it and how bad it is. No matter what, you must assert your right to privacy and your right to be yourself.

This was the big mistake I made when I was caught. My parents found everything - my diapers, my toys, my clothes. There was no way of hiding it or denying it. I confessed, but they didn't take it well, saying that it was wrong and that I needed to get help. I pleaded with them, told them I would, anything to make the anger stop. One of the saddest moments of my life. But in doing that, I made a huge mistake: I acted as though I'd done something wrong. This just fueled their belief that they were right to go into my private space, take my possessions, and make me feel like a criminal for having my interests. It also indirectly said that I really was some sort of deviant for being an AB. Not standing up for myself was the worst thing I could have done.

Thankfully, I spoke to them a few days later. I said (politely, but firmly) that they were wrong to go through my things and take them, and that I wanted my boundaries respected as an adult. Surprisingly, they were OK with this, and I haven't had any trouble since. But that's the position I should have taken from the beginning. If I'd taken the line that I insisted on being respected right from the start, I could have saved myself a lot of self-hating, doubt, and general misery. I'd also still have my old stash, which included a couple of irreplaceable items.

What you choose to tell your parents, should you be caught, is up to you. But whatever it is, don't let them tell you you're wrong for being you. You aren't hurting anyone, and you're happy and safe with what you do. Remind them of this, and remind them that you have a right to privacy and to live your life how you choose. Whether you tell them you're an AB or come up with another reason, don't let them tell you you're bad for being you. You have the right to be happy with your own identity. And I hope you never get caught, but if you do, what they say shouldn't change your belief about who you are.

Good luck, and I hope this is advice you never have to use!
 

Littledaimon

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There are so many good replies :) ! Thank you :eek:, I can't quote all but I think my parents could understand but my mom worries a lot about small things :(, so I must explain the situation slowly and tell her this is not a bad thing nor linked with bad things.
I will take all of this into consideration even though I wouldn't know exactly what to say if I get caught :confused:, I am working on it.
 

malix

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I'm sympathetic, but have a different solution to this kind of thing. Make it casual. Obviously you probably can't be non-discriptive, and quick with your parents, but you can still soften the blow by not making this impending doom. adrian surley has a great post about this on her blog. my best friend, mother, sister, and girlfriend all found out in a conversation like this. 'Oh hey, by the way, I wear diapers sometimes, its nothing weird, or anything, just figured I'd let you know, so it didn't shock you if you saw them' *laugh*. sister 'oh alright! that's funny'. best friend *laughs* 'okay'. mother 'you're not having bladder issues?' (No) 'okay then, just be careful'

It may seem to be the difficult option right now, but if I were you, and I knew they knew, and were going to say something, I'd litterally catch 1, or both of them in the kitchen, making a sandwich or something and say 'hey, I noticed my things were moved, so I imagine you saw the(or 'my') diapers. Its nothing weird, I just wear by choice'. From there, just answer any questions casually. after all, herroine needles and dead strippers haunt a parents dreams, some diapers? I think they'll be fine!

Best of luck!
 
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Cherub

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Well, when I lived at home I was still in the self acceptance stage. Which lasted for several years I might add. During those years I was frequently plagued with guilt over my liking of diapers. During that time, my best defense was to outsmart any would be snoopers. That included keeping my stash limited in size, which in turn, made it easier to move when the situation called for it. That and the area for the stash didn't need to be very big.

I never did get caught. However, looking back I like to think I would have been brave enough to use adult logic. I would have owned up to liking diapers. Where the adult logic would have come in to play, is that I would have used the alcohol or drug comparison. I would also have added that if they took my diapers away, that I would eventually buy them again sooner or later. Granted that kind of response is VERY up front, but when you think on it, it is a core truth that can not be stopped,,only delayed.

Once I got my very own place, I was still careful, but began caring less and less if someone found my supplies. I likened it to a preference in underwear. No one needs to know if you prefer a thong, high-cut, bikini-cut or regular briefs or boxers. It's not that you're ashamed and trying to hide it, it's simply is none of their business.

That's my :twocents: on how I see situations like this.
 

Littledaimon

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It may seem to be the difficult option right now, but if I were you, and I knew they knew, and were going to say something, I'd litterally catch 1, or both of them in the kitchen, making a sandwich or something and say 'hey, I noticed my things were moved, so I imagine you saw the(or 'my') diapers. Its nothing weird, I just wear by choice'. From there, just answer any questions casually. after all, herroine needles and dead strippers haunt a parents dreams, some diapers? I think they'll be fine!

Best of luck!

I could apply that, I mean if they don't confront me about it but I know they found my stash could be a way to ask for privacy, depends of the situation.
Thank you

Well, when I lived at home I was still in the self acceptance stage. Which lasted for several years I might add. During those years I was frequently plagued with guilt over my liking of diapers. During that time, my best defense was to outsmart any would be snoopers. That included keeping my stash limited in size, which in turn, made it easier to move when the situation called for it. That and the area for the stash didn't need to be very big.

I never did get caught. However, looking back I like to think I would have been brave enough to use adult logic. I would have owned up to liking diapers. Where the adult logic would have come in to play, is that I would have used the alcohol or drug comparison. I would also have added that if they took my diapers away, that I would eventually buy them again sooner or later. Granted that kind of response is VERY up front, but when you think on it, it is a core truth that can not be stopped,,only delayed.

Once I got my very own place, I was still careful, but began caring less and less if someone found my supplies. I likened it to a preference in underwear. No one needs to know if you prefer a thong, high-cut, bikini-cut or regular briefs or boxers. It's not that you're ashamed and trying to hide it, it's simply is none of their business.

That's my :twocents: on how I see situations like this.

Indeed, I don't have a very big stash, and according to me, is well hidden but anything can happen right ?

Well I don't do drugs, nor smoke or drink so, I am not sure If I could use that comparison if they think it's a bad thing to wear diapers sometimes, what do you guys think ?
 
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