As others have already said, your little side isn’t gone! It’s difficult to just jump back into after such a long time, and it’s even more difficult when it doesn’t quite work how and when we want it to which causes more stress.
Take a deep breath! Littlespace is there for you to decompress from all this adult stuff you’ve been dealing with. Take it easy and take it slow; maybe the next time you find yourself trying on a onesie or using a paci, you can almost ask your little side questions about it—why does little me like this onesie? Is it the color? Is it the softness? What do I like about using my paci? How does it make me feel, and why do I like that feeling? Not only may this help you focus more on your little side, it also helps block out those discouraging thoughts you may have if you were expecting to immediately feel in the headspace once you were in a onesie.
I’d also recommend to do things that soothe you, wether it’s little space related or not! If you’re heading into this stressed, it’s harder to get anything out of it. Taking a bath, eating my favorite little space food, coloring, watching a cartoon—all are some great things that are comforting in general, but make it easier to slip into the space as well. And you can ask yourself the same kinda questions with activities as well.
I’m not sure if that helps, but I hope you get some relief soon! And if ultimately after all your efforts it still doesn’t work, it’ll be okay! Sometimes we grow apart from parts of ourselves, but that doesn’t mean they’re gone and wont show up again. Good luck with everything!