Getting a Second Opinion / Diaper Embarrassment

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PlotTwist

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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
The Urologist didn’t even suggested Botox or a surgery and was happy to prescribe diapers!
You're lucky, many urologists consider their patients wearing diapers as a failure on their part, and will do everything they can to avoid it, understandably so. The problem comes when some of them get an attitude about it. It's like it's something completely unacceptable, and they sometimes need to be brought back to reality with a line like "Yes, I am STILL wearing diapers, because I don't think wetting your pants in public is a good look."
 

Slomo

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I am guessing the general census is that diapers would be my best treatment option? If my doctor recommends medications should I insist on continuing diapers as my management method?

I am worried about potential side effects. Diapers really don’t have one I guess.

What about the surgeries, that report said that 80% of people had better results.

Thanks guys and gals for helping me!
Personally I would suggest trying at least trying the medications. More to rule them out than hoping they will work.

I personally refused many of the meds, but since my urologists had no idea what was wrong they always kept wanting to go back to "what if" for those meds. And that kept them from moving on to other treatement options- for nearly two decades.

In the end I just figured it would be faster and easier to jump through the hoops and take the darn pills. And sure enough, after just a few months I was able to imperically rule that med out. Then another, and another, until all were ruled out.

Finally came the useless botox and interstim, which again I knew wouldn't work as was able to rule out. It took a few years to get to the surgery I though I needed, but I was righ. A few years of hoops was much faster and easier than the two decades my urologists had wasted before that.
 

Dinotopian2002

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
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153
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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
iam32bit, I was in your shoes about seven years ago. At the time I was wearing Goodnites in the day, but they leaked too much, then I switched to Tena Pull-ups.
I then reached the age of 22 with the sobering realization that my bladder was not responding well to medication and I was going to need to wear diapers 24/7 to stay dry. To make things worse my urologist was uncertain what to do and suggested that I start having Botox injections on my bladder. I refused, as my control issues are neurological and I had tests which showed that my bladder muscles worked fine. As such, I didn't want to have surgery which could have made my problems worse.

In the end I stopped taking all but one of my medications (Mirabegron) which was partly helpful as it reduced the number of accidents I had and I started wearing diapers 24/7. It wasn't an easy choice and it took me about three years before I was comfortable with wearing them, but I've no regrets. Like you, I was nervous about people seeing my diaper, but now, I don't mind. There are a number of bodystockings or onesies which can help conceal your diapers, even under skirts, but you may find that with practice, you may not need them. While I don't advertise my diapers in public, I don't really mind if my diaper shows a bit. It's much less embarrassing than having an accident and wetting myself in public. Now I only wear concealers when I'm at the gym or when it's cold and I wear them like a vest or undershirt.

I find that most people have been understanding about my diapers, especially when I explain (briefly) that they're for medical reasons. It's a hard thing to admit, but the more open and relaxed you are about this, the easier it gets.

As for your childhood fears of diaper punishment, what you're facing is a slightly more extreme form of the stigma that we're all conditioned to believe from an early age that diapers are bad for us, and only babies wear them. A more practical way to see diapers is either as a band-aid for your bladder or as a way to manage a health condition which is non life-threatening and surprisingly common. Wearing diapers to help your bladder is the same way that some people wear glasses to help with their eyesight.

From a practical point of view, learn how to change by yourself while standing up, either vertically or by leaning against a wall. With practice, not only will this become faster than lying down each time, it's also more hygienic when you need to change in public places. And if you can do it yourself it means that you're in control of managing your condition.

I hope this info helps you - very happy to help you out with any other advice you might need.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
 

RedStripeLvr

Est. Contributor
Messages
91
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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I am guessing the general census is that diapers would be my best treatment option? If my doctor recommends medications should I insist on continuing diapers as my management method?

I am worried about potential side effects. Diapers really don’t have one I guess.

What about the surgeries, that report said that 80% of people had better results.

Thanks guys and gals for helping me!
I would agree that diapers are the best option in the short term, and possibly in the long term as well. I say "possibly" because you and your urologist may discover a different treatment option that will work for you or that you will want to try. As with any medication or treatment, I would encourage you to do your homework and research the possible side effects. In my case, I have stopped all medications for IC, as the side effects weren't worth it, and they either didn't work or only made a marginal difference. I had surgery to allow my bladder to empty more fully, with the hope that it would reduce the likelihood of bladder infections while also improving my IC symptoms. While it does, indeed, empty out now, I have had almost no control since the surgery. At best, I can hold it a few seconds, so I am still diapered 24/7.

I hope that you and your doctor find a treatment option that works for you, but I would encourage you to take the plunge and wear diapers at least until you find a "cure." As many others have said, people just don't notice and if they do, they don't care. The people who know about my situation have all been very empathetic and understanding (my best friend got a little somber when I told him - we are the same age and it made him realize that he may have to deal with the same issues at some point...LOL). I, too worried at first that someone would notice and was very self conscious about it, but I realized very quickly that, not only does no one notice that I am wearing, but also that diapers allowed me to have an active life without the fear of having an accident in public. Consider how much your frequent trips to the restroom are affecting your life and what you are missing. Diapers will help you get your life back. As someone else said, they will allow you to manage your condition, instead of it managing you. Good luck in whatever you choose, and remember we are here to help!
 

Spaz

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1,266
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Diaper Lover, Little, Incontinent
I think a lot of people with IC go through the same stuff. I've had OAB and IBS for as long as I can remember, but I used to be able to make it to the bathroom most of the time. I've also worn diapers off and on my whole life and 24/7 for a little over 14 years. About six months ago a severe UTI sent me to a new urologist who went through another round of urodynamics and cystoscope. The results were sobering as my bladder emptied almost immediately without warning.

Some years ago I decided to stop the drugs the doctors kept prescribing me because of the bad side effects and negligible improvement. My current urologist recently told me that for severe and chronic OAB like mine, all they have are options to manage the symptoms, not cure it. In my mind, diapers are the most benign way to do this. Sure they are expensive and can sometimes be a pain to plan around, but I could not possibly live the life I live without them. That being said, I completely understand why someone who didn't grow up wearing diapers would want to avoid them. However, you have to ask yourself, at what cost? I've heavily researched the alternatives and I personally don't want to add potentially worse issues to my problem.
 

dr480

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Hi,

I think you should talk openly to your doctor. And try to establish avantages and side effects of each solutions.

I have uretrea issues that leads to OAB and other side effects. At first je suggested surgerie. But before going further with this solution we had a special appoitment to talk about this surgerie. And he couldn't choose for me. However the surgerie would have been complicated with low benefits. So I decided not to proceed.
At least we took time to think before taking the decision.
 

iam32bit

Est. Contributor
Messages
69
Role
Incontinent
I think a lot of people with IC go through the same stuff. I've had OAB and IBS for as long as I can remember, but I used to be able to make it to the bathroom most of the time. I've also worn diapers off and on my whole life and 24/7 for a little over 14 years. About six months ago a severe UTI sent me to a new urologist who went through another round of urodynamics and cystoscope. The results were sobering as my bladder emptied almost immediately without warning.

Some years ago I decided to stop the drugs the doctors kept prescribing me because of the bad side effects and negligible improvement. My current urologist recently told me that for severe and chronic OAB like mine, all they have are options to manage the symptoms, not cure it. In my mind, diapers are the most benign way to do this. Sure they are expensive and can sometimes be a pain to plan around, but I could not possibly live the life I live without them. That being said, I completely understand why someone who didn't grow up wearing diapers would want to avoid them. However, you have to ask yourself, at what cost? I've heavily researched the alternatives and I personally don't want to add potentially worse issues to my problem.
My dilemma stems from the fact that I have not had an accident. When my urge hits, I do my absolute best to hold it and get to a restroom as soon as possible. I have been fortunate to not pee myself. However when I wear a diaper, the relief of not having to rush to the restroom nor having to drop everything I am doing is amazing. On my worst days, without a diaper I feel imprisoned. With a diaper I am able to focus on my day to day tasks and not stress out about my bladder. I also reduce my total trips from an average of 10 to 15 without a diaper to 3 to 4 with a diaper.

I am going to see my primary care doctor this Thursday. She already had run a test on my urine and was able to conclude that I do not have a UTI or bacterial infection. I do not have any STIs either. Also my blood test came back normal for diabetes. I am not sure what other tests they are going to do. However I do know that I am unsure of medications / surgeries.

Last week I tried to wear 24/7 and ran into a few issues. One was how to bring a spare change with me to work. I have a purse but it is not large enough to fit a NorthShore Supreme. The other was still feeling odd about being in a diaper. When I am home I feel mostly normal, but when out and about, I am paranoid that someone is going to notice or give me a hard time about it.

I continue to try to go a day or two without a diaper. I end up stressing myself out because the issue switches from "Will people notice I am wearing a diaper, or am I doing something wrong by wearing a diaper" to "Holy S!!! I have to pee, where is the bathroom" I feel like I am never going to accept my issue. I still don't know if I need to wear diapers or not. Sure the benefits outweigh the negatives, but I will always prefer to not have to wear them.

I plan on discussing this with my doctor, she may tell me that diapers are pointless. I honestly don't know what to expect.

As always, I appreciate all the input you all provide.

Thanks,
 

Slomo

Est. Contributor
Messages
7,294
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
My dilemma stems from the fact that I have not had an accident. When my urge hits, I do my absolute best to hold it and get to a restroom as soon as possible. I have been fortunate to not pee myself. However when I wear a diaper, the relief of not having to rush to the restroom nor having to drop everything I am doing is amazing. On my worst days, without a diaper I feel imprisoned. With a diaper I am able to focus on my day to day tasks and not stress out about my bladder. I also reduce my total trips from an average of 10 to 15 without a diaper to 3 to 4 with a diaper.

I am going to see my primary care doctor this Thursday. She already had run a test on my urine and was able to conclude that I do not have a UTI or bacterial infection. I do not have any STIs either. Also my blood test came back normal for diabetes. I am not sure what other tests they are going to do. However I do know that I am unsure of medications / surgeries.

Last week I tried to wear 24/7 and ran into a few issues. One was how to bring a spare change with me to work. I have a purse but it is not large enough to fit a NorthShore Supreme. The other was still feeling odd about being in a diaper. When I am home I feel mostly normal, but when out and about, I am paranoid that someone is going to notice or give me a hard time about it.

I continue to try to go a day or two without a diaper. I end up stressing myself out because the issue switches from "Will people notice I am wearing a diaper, or am I doing something wrong by wearing a diaper" to "Holy S!!! I have to pee, where is the bathroom" I feel like I am never going to accept my issue. I still don't know if I need to wear diapers or not. Sure the benefits outweigh the negatives, but I will always prefer to not have to wear them.

I plan on discussing this with my doctor, she may tell me that diapers are pointless. I honestly don't know what to expect.

As always, I appreciate all the input you all provide.

Thanks,
So ho close or often have you come to actual wet pants when not wearing a diaper? You worry about whether or not someone might notice you wearing a diaper, but have you not once worried about someone noticing your wet pants? Which one is worse?
 

Spaz

Est. Contributor
Messages
1,266
Role
Diaper Lover, Little, Incontinent
My dilemma stems from the fact that I have not had an accident. When my urge hits, I do my absolute best to hold it and get to a restroom as soon as possible. I have been fortunate to not pee myself. However when I wear a diaper, the relief of not having to rush to the restroom nor having to drop everything I am doing is amazing. On my worst days, without a diaper I feel imprisoned. With a diaper I am able to focus on my day to day tasks and not stress out about my bladder. I also reduce my total trips from an average of 10 to 15 without a diaper to 3 to 4 with a diaper.

I am going to see my primary care doctor this Thursday. She already had run a test on my urine and was able to conclude that I do not have a UTI or bacterial infection. I do not have any STIs either. Also my blood test came back normal for diabetes. I am not sure what other tests they are going to do. However I do know that I am unsure of medications / surgeries.

Last week I tried to wear 24/7 and ran into a few issues. One was how to bring a spare change with me to work. I have a purse but it is not large enough to fit a NorthShore Supreme. The other was still feeling odd about being in a diaper. When I am home I feel mostly normal, but when out and about, I am paranoid that someone is going to notice or give me a hard time about it.

I continue to try to go a day or two without a diaper. I end up stressing myself out because the issue switches from "Will people notice I am wearing a diaper, or am I doing something wrong by wearing a diaper" to "Holy S!!! I have to pee, where is the bathroom" I feel like I am never going to accept my issue. I still don't know if I need to wear diapers or not. Sure the benefits outweigh the negatives, but I will always prefer to not have to wear them.

I plan on discussing this with my doctor, she may tell me that diapers are pointless. I honestly don't know what to expect.

As always, I appreciate all the input you all provide. Thanks.
I understand exactly what you are talking about. Urge incontinence is somewhat like purgatory. You are stuck between complete continence and complete incontinence. This was my childhood. I was where you are about 30 years ago (I'm 50 now so I would have been around 20). I used to wear only at night and on car rides or trips over an hour because if I was awake and there was a bathroom nearby I could usually make it. I didn't start wearing 24/7 until I began regularly wetting my pants during the day, which as Slomo mentioned is far worse than wearing a diaper.

Some suggestions. Try a high quality pull-up. Abena and Northshore make some pretty good ones. They aren't easy to change, especially out and about, but they are easy to use if you can make it to the bathroom at least some of the time. Change up your personal items. It goes with the territory that if you need to wear diapers, you need something to carry them in. I take a backpack with me everywhere I go and I think nothing of it. You might want to upgrade your purse to accommodate diapers and wipes. Now for self-image. One the most important things to realize is no one will care or notice whether you are diapered or not. Unless you are going out "on the town" and want people to look at your ass, most people wouldn't notice.

Lastly, it's best if you get to a point where you feel sexy in your diaper. Yep, that's right. I've been wearing diapers my entire life and when I dial in the right diaper and fit (which is currently a Northshore Supreme), I think I look good in it. Now that doesn't mean if someone saw me just wearing a diaper they wouldn't say, "ewww, he looks like a freak in a diaper." You have to not care what others might say. Plus, I've got zero plans to show anyone other than my wife my diapered bottom. My attitude is "I keep myself in really good shape, I'm clean shaven and I could model diapers." If your head is in that frame of mind and you feel good about your self-image, then it's easier to accept. You don't have to love diapers, you just need to get to the point when you can say "I look good in my diapers." This is, in my opinion, where diaper manufacturers should be going. Give us absorbency, fit and diapers that look good. I'm not talking about baby print diapers either. That's a different thing. Just diapers with solid colors and some with underwear patterns or prints.
 

Padded53

Est. Contributor
Messages
309
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Incontinent
iam32bit, You might consider adding a Poise pad (without removing the adhesive strip cover) to your Northshore Supreme diaper. That way after a wetting or two you can simply remove the wet pad and add a new one. This might work well for you since you can easily get several pads into even a small purse that you could take into the restroom with you affording you several changes a day while still retaining your original diaper. A Northshore Supreme is one of the highest capacity diapers out there so with several pad-only changes I would think you could make it through the entire work day using this idea.
 

KenworthW900b

Est. Contributor
Messages
363
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Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I remember going through the ringer of doctors and urologists when i first started having to wear diapers all the time, i wanted nothing more than to not have to wear a diaper all the time. That obsession was however short lived and after several painful tests and several medications that not only didnt work reliably causing me to have to use a diaper anyway but they also caused side effects that i could not deal with i finally just got to the point where i realized that the diapers just were not that bad and i have worn them 24/7 since. If i had it to do over i would not have wasted my time, money or energy on doctors.
 

iam32bit

Est. Contributor
Messages
69
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Incontinent
I was able to see my doctor this week. She explained to me that there are two muscles that control urination. One is automatic, the other is one that we have control over. She said that the one I can't control is relaxing too early, this is why I keep getting the sudden urge to pee with pain when I hold it.

My doctor started me on Oxybutynin, I have been on it for a few days and I think it may be working. I still wake up to pee in the middle of the night but my need for the bathroom seems to be reduced. She also claimed my medication is causing my UI / OAB. Since there aren't any alternatives, she believes Oxybutynin will work for me. One odd thing that raised some alarms, my urine has abnormal traces of blood in it. I have been referred to a Urologist to figure out what is causing it and if it is serious or not.

Has anyone else had much luck with Oxybutynin?
 

RedStripeLvr

Est. Contributor
Messages
91
Role
Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I was able to see my doctor this week. She explained to me that there are two muscles that control urination. One is automatic, the other is one that we have control over. She said that the one I can't control is relaxing too early, this is why I keep getting the sudden urge to pee with pain when I hold it.

My doctor started me on Oxybutynin, I have been on it for a few days and I think it may be working. I still wake up to pee in the middle of the night but my need for the bathroom seems to be reduced. She also claimed my medication is causing my UI / OAB. Since there aren't any alternatives, she believes Oxybutynin will work for me. One odd thing that raised some alarms, my urine has abnormal traces of blood in it. I have been referred to a Urologist to figure out what is causing it and if it is serious or not.

Has anyone else had much luck with Oxybutynin?
I tried Oxybutynin, and while it did improve the situation somewhat by reducing bladder spasms, for me, it didn't improve it enough to offset the side effects, which for me included a constant headache. Also, the improvement wasn't enough to get me out of diapers, so I chose to quit taking it. As you may notice, I use the phrase "for me" as these are my results and yours may be different. Please keep us informed of how it is going as well as what the urologist says. I hope it works for you and that the traces of urine are easily resolved. Good luck!
 

LifeInPlastic

Est. Contributor
Messages
86
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Incontinent
For what´s it´s worth, here is my take on the matter.

I feel you. The whole embarrassment situation is something completely understandable. Espacially taking your traumatic backstory into account.
When I had to face the fact that incontinence will accompany me probably until the day I die(I was in my mid/late 20th then) I wished I could just stop existing.

But since I always had a grim resolve and practical take on life I finally managed to accept and even be thankful for diapers. Who knows, maybe you can get something positive out of it.

After I finally visited a doc and opened up to him in order to start some form treatment the ice was cracked. So I decided to make one more step and open up to my parents. It was gut-wrenching hard but ultimately very rewarding as they where as compassionate as you would hope of the very people that brought you into existence.
That calmed me a lot. I began to think about this fear and panic of wearing diapers(even if it would be, hopefully, not for ever - spoiler alert: that hope was shattered). Why is that so? I encountered so much more people sharing this fear. Incontinend or ABDL, it was the same fear. So I digged relentlessly into this matters and found a very convincing and relatable, logical explanation from a psychologist for the general fear/disdain for diapers. It was a revelation unfolding before my eyes.

We have all been unintentionally been brainwashed by our parents(and they have been by their parents and so on).

Like I said - unintentionally. The motivation was a good one. It´s one of the stories from the box "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
More directly or not the overwhelming number of us was potty-trained with a metaphorical gun to our head. "Big boys/girls don´t use diapers."
While it is logical and highly beneficial to learn the control of bladder and bowel, the path of tying it to adulthood and starting becoming a respected person of human society have horribly backfired.
Because the conclusion is: "If I don´t learn to use a toilett I´m worthless." That is a harsh way to tell it, but it ultimately comes down to it. You never articulate and even realize it fully as an infant - but it happens in your subconsciousness. You want to please your parents, you want to be like them. It is only natural - but the way it is communicated has let to a world where diapers are frowned upon.
That is, if we are aware of it or not, why we see the need of diapers as a social failrue. That is the one and only true source of the embarrassment that comes with wearing diapers as an adult. A voice in your head says: "You failed!"
That voice is almost as old as you. It helped you on your road to grow out of diapers but now it pulls you down. You learned a wrong take on incontinence from the beginning of your aware life.

"The most dangerous enemy is the one you do not see because you don´t know/see him."
"You are your worst enemy"

As I realized all this, I was able to identify and work against it. Revert the mental conditioning that caused this confusion. My view became clear and rational again.
Diapers are not my enemy, nothing to hate on. They A L L O W me to take part in social life, NOT prevent it. As I can walk outside and do what I´ve done before without the fear of messing my clothes and sorroundings. Diapers make this possible. Otherwise I would succumb in my home. They are a blessing, a redemption - nothing less.

It is a long way to embrace this truth. A way you can only walk by yourself. But it will make you whole again in this matter. You can be at peace with it.

True, some treatments and/or medicine can give you back you continence. And it is worth the hassle of grinding through doctors and hospitals. But what happens if not or you still need a diaper because it can´t be perfect again? What if there are side-effects much worse or dangerous than a soiled diaper?

Sure, there are people who can´t deal with it. But noone forces you to tell anyone. I go to work and noone knows about my problem. There is no need for them. But if the situation would arise, so what? I tell them the whole, sad story.
As I climbed my way back to "normal" and opened up to my friends I only made positive experiences. And if someone makes fun of you or anything like that - you know their true colors and can dispose of them like a full diaper. I can act as a filter to get rid of scum-people in your life. Not to mention that is possible to apply legal treatment to folks who make fun of impaired people - especially at work.

Be confident of yourself, a diaper do not make you less!
Think about what I wrote. It might take some time for it to fully sink in. As others suggested, it might be a good idea to talk about the issue with a professional to overcome this.
If the side effects outweight the gain - diapers might be the solution.

Cheers
 

joemama

Est. Contributor
Messages
52
Role
Incontinent
That was quite possibly the best post on this forum ever. Congrats and well said. You are not alone, but much more able to put it in words.
 

LifeInPlastic

Est. Contributor
Messages
86
Role
Incontinent
That was quite possibly the best post on this forum ever. Congrats and well said. You are not alone, but much more able to put it in words.
Thank you. You almost make me blush. :sweatdrop:
I just wish I still had all these bookmarks of the sites where I found the stuff. But they were lost with a harddrive crash 2 years ago. This kinda bugs me. :sad: There was so much more in depth information than the short summary I posted here...
 
U

ukeuabuniverse

Guest
Wearing diapers has nothing to do with the age. In fact, if someone is affected by incontinence problem, this is the ideal way to deal with it. And, if you think, this issue only affects children at younger age- then, think again! As, there are many reasons that adults wear diapers, one must not feel shy to opt for it.When urine is absorbed by any incontinence brief, the surface can become a breeding ground for bacteria and ammonia. Continued bacteria growth can result in urinary tract infections that can lead to further medical issues.
 

iam32bit

Est. Contributor
Messages
69
Role
Incontinent
For what´s it´s worth, here is my take on the matter.

I feel you. The whole embarrassment situation is something completely understandable. Espacially taking your traumatic backstory into account.
When I had to face the fact that incontinence will accompany me probably until the day I die(I was in my mid/late 20th then) I wished I could just stop existing.

But since I always had a grim resolve and practical take on life I finally managed to accept and even be thankful for diapers. Who knows, maybe you can get something positive out of it.

After I finally visited a doc and opened up to him in order to start some form treatment the ice was cracked. So I decided to make one more step and open up to my parents. It was gut-wrenching hard but ultimately very rewarding as they where as compassionate as you would hope of the very people that brought you into existence.
That calmed me a lot. I began to think about this fear and panic of wearing diapers(even if it would be, hopefully, not for ever - spoiler alert: that hope was shattered). Why is that so? I encountered so much more people sharing this fear. Incontinend or ABDL, it was the same fear. So I digged relentlessly into this matters and found a very convincing and relatable, logical explanation from a psychologist for the general fear/disdain for diapers. It was a revelation unfolding before my eyes.

We have all been unintentionally been brainwashed by our parents(and they have been by their parents and so on).

Like I said - unintentionally. The motivation was a good one. It´s one of the stories from the box "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
More directly or not the overwhelming number of us was potty-trained with a metaphorical gun to our head. "Big boys/girls don´t use diapers."
While it is logical and highly beneficial to learn the control of bladder and bowel, the path of tying it to adulthood and starting becoming a respected person of human society have horribly backfired.
Because the conclusion is: "If I don´t learn to use a toilett I´m worthless." That is a harsh way to tell it, but it ultimately comes down to it. You never articulate and even realize it fully as an infant - but it happens in your subconsciousness. You want to please your parents, you want to be like them. It is only natural - but the way it is communicated has let to a world where diapers are frowned upon.
That is, if we are aware of it or not, why we see the need of diapers as a social failrue. That is the one and only true source of the embarrassment that comes with wearing diapers as an adult. A voice in your head says: "You failed!"
That voice is almost as old as you. It helped you on your road to grow out of diapers but now it pulls you down. You learned a wrong take on incontinence from the beginning of your aware life.

"The most dangerous enemy is the one you do not see because you don´t know/see him."
"You are your worst enemy"

As I realized all this, I was able to identify and work against it. Revert the mental conditioning that caused this confusion. My view became clear and rational again.
Diapers are not my enemy, nothing to hate on. They A L L O W me to take part in social life, NOT prevent it. As I can walk outside and do what I´ve done before without the fear of messing my clothes and sorroundings. Diapers make this possible. Otherwise I would succumb in my home. They are a blessing, a redemption - nothing less.

It is a long way to embrace this truth. A way you can only walk by yourself. But it will make you whole again in this matter. You can be at peace with it.

True, some treatments and/or medicine can give you back you continence. And it is worth the hassle of grinding through doctors and hospitals. But what happens if not or you still need a diaper because it can´t be perfect again? What if there are side-effects much worse or dangerous than a soiled diaper?

Sure, there are people who can´t deal with it. But noone forces you to tell anyone. I go to work and noone knows about my problem. There is no need for them. But if the situation would arise, so what? I tell them the whole, sad story.
As I climbed my way back to "normal" and opened up to my friends I only made positive experiences. And if someone makes fun of you or anything like that - you know their true colors and can dispose of them like a full diaper. I can act as a filter to get rid of scum-people in your life. Not to mention that is possible to apply legal treatment to folks who make fun of impaired people - especially at work.

Be confident of yourself, a diaper do not make you less!
Think about what I wrote. It might take some time for it to fully sink in. As others suggested, it might be a good idea to talk about the issue with a professional to overcome this.
If the side effects outweight the gain - diapers might be the solution.

Cheers
Update:
Starting tomorrow I am no longer taking Oxybutynin. Since starting it, my depression and other emotional issues spiked. I talked to my Dr and She told me to cease it. I have another followup appointment later this week to see what other options we have.

Oxybutynin didn’t really help all that much. I still have to wake up multiple times a night. I still have to rush to the bathroom or deal with pain trying to hold it.

I wish I could accept diapers in my life, but I don’t think I will ever get to that point. I was very hopeful that Oxybutynin would eliminate my need for them.
 

Missy1

Est. Contributor
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362
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Adult Baby, Sissy, Little, Incontinent
Sorry for the backlash with the meds hon . im afraid that you MIGHT just have to try to find a way to accept it dear
 

iam32bit

Est. Contributor
Messages
69
Role
Incontinent
Had a bunch of tests done, Kidneys are good, don't have diabetes, sodium levels are good, liver is good. Nothing came up bad in blood tests. I have microscopic hematuria and have to go to the Urologist. I asked to try some other medication since the Oxybutnin was causing suicidal thoughts. I am much better mood wise since ceasing them. My first Urologist is mid June, doctor won't let me trial anything else until I go to my appointment. I asked her what should I do in the meantime. She said Scheduled Voiding and Diapers if I need them.

I am really feeling trapped. I just want to have a normal bladder and not have to think about it all damn day. I have to order more diapers and feel so defeated.

Sorry if my writing is so random, I have been sick the past few days and haven't been sleeping well.
 
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