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Friend doesn't want me wearing round their house

babydoug

Est. Contributor
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35
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Adult Baby
So a few weeks ago I told a small group of 3 friends about my abdl side and the things that go with it. They came out as being supportive of me which was great. However one my friends did ask many more questions than the other two did, one being about wearing diapers and how he would be uncomfortable with me using them whilst in his house. I guess he didn't like the idea and then I'd be sat in it for ages. I did feel quite annoyed at the time and haven't approached the subject with him since but I feel like talking to him more. Though I don't know the right place to start.
 

GO3SBOTHWAY5

Est. Contributor
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658
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Diaper Lover
Everyone has a right to their own stance on (all) this. Sounds to me like he's worried (like you guessed) that you will be in his house sitting in crap! I do hope you wouldn't want to do that, unless you're bowel incontinent messing in many areas outside your house is pushing (yeah yeah LoL etc.) your Alternative Lifestyle on someone else ...and that is not okay. I'd put the mind of this friend at rest over that.
Good luck.
_
GISW
 

babydoug

Est. Contributor
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35
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Adult Baby
Everyone has a right to their own stance on (all) this. Sounds to me like he's worried (like you guessed) that you will be in his house sitting in crap! I do hope you wouldn't want to do that, unless you're bowel incontinent messing in many areas outside your house is pushing (yeah yeah LoL etc.) your Alternative Lifestyle on someone else ...and that is not okay. I'd put the mind of this friend at rest over that.
Good luck.
_
GISW
Far from that at all and I'd never be one to push my own things on to other people at all. Thats it I just want to figure out the best way to put his mind at ease
 

GO3SBOTHWAY5

Est. Contributor
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658
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Diaper Lover
Far from that at all and I'd never be one to push my own things on to other people at all. Thats it I just want to figure out the best way to put his mind at ease
I'd also go with "Hey, at least I don't want to be a Naturist!"
No offence to anyone on here who also practices that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

BobbiSueEllen

A sweet AB toddler girl in Pampers
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Adult Baby, Sissy, Little
There are a few things your friend may be concerned about: they might not want you changing your diaper in their home (especially in this COVID hubris) and maybe disposing it in their trash...or accidentally leaking & wetting their furniture...or if AB/DL-unaware company suddenly arrives...or the aroma of a wet diaper...their knowledge of you in a diaper at the moment...or the crinkle. In time, the time to talk about those things will arise but it's best if you accommodate the friend's wishes for now. Not much else one can do. :confused:
 

Peesalot

Est. Contributor
Messages
264
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Diaper Lover, Other
My first question is how would your friend know you were wearing a diaper if you don't tell him? So long as you don't mess in it so there is a bad odor or pee so much in it that it leaks, a person likely wouldn't know you were wearing. If you normally wear extremely thick diapers so they are obvious under your clothing, you can choose to wear a less bulky diaper when at this person's home. You mention he said he'd be "uncomfortable with me using them whilst in his house." To me, that is different than wearing them in his home. Using them would indicate peeing or pooping in them. While you might still wear them at his house, honor his request and use the bathroom facilities when necessary.

Bottom line is I don't think you need to have a conversation with him about it. Wear a clean diaper when you will be at his house and practice being bigbabyboydoug while there. As soon as you leave, embrace babydoug again and let the flood waters flow at your heart's content. (y)
 

littledreamers333

Est. Contributor
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805
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little, Other
So a few weeks ago I told a small group of 3 friends about my abdl side and the things that go with it. They came out as being supportive of me which was great. However one my friends did ask many more questions than the other two did, one being about wearing diapers and how he would be uncomfortable with me using them whilst in his house. I guess he didn't like the idea and then I'd be sat in it for ages. I did feel quite annoyed at the time and haven't approached the subject with him since but I feel like talking to him more. Though I don't know the right place to start.
sit him down and explaine to him the best you can
 

MandyBear

Est. Contributor
Messages
881
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Little, Incontinent, Carer
one my friends did ask many more questions, one being about wearing diapers and how he would be uncomfortable with me using them whilst in his house.
There seems to be some debate on what "using them whilst in his house" means.
He does not want you wearing them at his house or using them while at his house?

I do not see a need for any further talks with him about this. You told him, he is supportive and voiced his concerns about you indulging your kink in his private space (his house)
Honestly, either way (as you do not need them) you should respect his wishes and not wear them when at his house (even if your plan is/was to only wear and not use them).

I did feel quite annoyed at the time and haven't approached the subject with him since but I feel like talking to him more.
THIS HERE ⬆ Being annoyed your friend requested you keep your Kink out of his personal space is the definition of Entitlement.

At the very least this is a (non sexual) KINK & on the other end is a (sexual) Fetish.
Either way, it's something you do not need to indulge in when asked not to. Period. End of story.
 
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BobbiSueEllen

A sweet AB toddler girl in Pampers
Est. Contributor
Messages
2,588
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Adult Baby, Sissy, Little
A friend asked for you to not do it in his home. You may not like it but you have to respect that and if you can't respect your friend, you won't respect yourself. You're already pushing it by entertaining "what-ifs"...respect your friend's wish. He respected your thing as part of you, something none of us see much in our own friends...your friend deserves you to respect him. Just do it.
 

JOCKMAN

Est. Contributor
Messages
753
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Diaper Lover
Ask him privately if he could talk with you more about the "topic" you brought up prior and you understand his discomfort about it. If yes, then you can hash out a few details about his discomfort. Maybe it is others that he knows finding out about your abdl side and him being your friend also would be embarrassing?

From what little details we know this discussion could take many tangents. First target is do you still want him as friend or only if he accepts you wanting to wear clothing that is AB? You are probably not around him 24/7 (like a housemate) so you should be able to reign in your AB side while with him to keep his friendship. Doing so now may give him the time he needs to accept more of you and your ABDL side later.
 

blaincorrous

Est. Contributor
Messages
61
Role
Diaper Lover
Let’s cut to the chase. You’re not IC. Your wearing is not necessary.

I have one non-spouse friend that knows. I wore at his house once. No one noticed including him, but it wasn’t like a party. But that friend did not hop up immediately and say he didn’t want me wearing at his place when I told him about my thing. Your friend did at the mere thought.

You really should respect his wishes. If you want to put his mind at ease, respect his wishes.

Now, if you can’t stand that he doesn’t accept this to THAT degree, that’s a separate issue. Your issue. Check your priorities. Friends or diapers. And you’re not picking one or the other. He’s not telling you not to wear at all. He’s giving you a very narrow strip that defines HIS boundaries.

Some people demand that everyone accept every single thing and boundaries be damned. Do t be one of those cringe-cases. If you accept that other people have boundaries, they are going to be more accepting of you. But accept that may never give you all the acceptance you desire. Be thankful that you friends that aren’t cutting you out of their lives when you’ve exposed your most vulnerable side.
 
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Noodle

Est. Contributor
Messages
629
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Diaper Lover
So a few weeks ago I told a small group of 3 friends about my abdl side and the things that go with it. They came out as being supportive of me which was great. However one my friends did ask many more questions than the other two did, one being about wearing diapers and how he would be uncomfortable with me using them whilst in his house. I guess he didn't like the idea and then I'd be sat in it for ages. I did feel quite annoyed at the time and haven't approached the subject with him since but I feel like talking to him more. Though I don't know the right place to start.
Explain all you want if you feel you must but the simple fact of the matter here is they don't want you wearing in their home, THEIR being the biggest point there. Simply put if they don't want you doing something in their own home then you must deal with it as it is not your property.
 

kraken98

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Other
Its his house so its his rules, you are not the one paying for it. If I told you to not bring guns to my house then don't bring guns to my house or I will tell you to get out lol
 

irnub

Est. Contributor
Messages
1,418
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Diaper Lover, Diaperfur
What part of "not in my house" did you not understand?
There's absolutely nothing else of the matter to talk about.
Knowing the reasons why the friend doesn't want them worn in his house could be helpful for the purpose of anticipating any other issues. We didn't hear the exact words or the context of the conversation, so maybe the conversation was misheard or misunderstood. Maybe the friend was operating under some kind of misconception (e.g. that OP messes his diapers). Maybe the friend had some childhood trauma involving diapers and doesn't want to be reminded of them. Maybe the friend is really offended/weirded out by the idea but is too good of a friend to go right out and say it.

I had a friend in the furry fandom who was a little bit like that at first. When he found out that a meetup we were going to go to was arranged by babyfurs and about 90% of the attendants were babyfurs he was all ready to back out even though he knew about me and was ostensibly fine with it. Further discussion revealed that he was worried about seeing/hearing/smelling diapers in a public setting, at which point we discovered that no, he hadn't been aware that I was padded more often than not whenever we hung out. That was enough to get him to go along with the trip and we had a good time despite the presence of multiple weirdos who may or may not have been wearing diapers under their street clothes.
 

Peesalot

Est. Contributor
Messages
264
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Diaper Lover, Other
Because of the difference of opinions as to whether or not wearing diapers is the same as using them, you probably should ask if he'd be okay with you wearing so long as you didn't use them for their intended purpose. I used to wear Jockeys. I never used them. But, why not get his definition and then honor it if he says wearing and using are the same in his book.
 
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