For specifically IC people, have a partner ever changed your diaper?

greatlake5

Profoundly incontinent since the beginning.
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I'm IC, not abdl. My question is does your partner ever changed your diaper?

I have a girlfriend that knows I'm IC. We've been together for a short time. I've known her for almost 6 years before we became gf/bf.. We cycled and played tennis along with hikes. We haven't camped yet but we will this spring. She comes here and sleeps with me almost every weekend. For some reason she isn't bothered by me being IC.

In the beginning when we slept together I worried about my BM accidents while sleeping. Surprisingly she's okay with it. Probably because I use internal deodorant. She said she could smell something but not sure what it is. In the morning she sometimes teases me about "are you wearing a dirty diaper?" I just try to hit the bathroom first before she can say anything. But sometimes she touches my bottom and asks if you need a change. Funny and weird but also embarrassing. I don't think I'd ever let her change my morning diaper. Probably not letting her change a wet diaper either.

Do you let your partner change your diaper? I can't imagine her changing my diaper. Ever. When I was a kid the Galway woman (my mom) changed my diapers up until I was around 9. I had plenty of teachers and aides along with babysitters, and they did change me. My mom was very attentive and I liked that. At least until I became a bit more independent. But having a girlfriend change me just feels too weird.

I know that some IC/abdl people talk about how their partners changed them. But I'm asking specifically IC people. Do you let them? I can't imagine you let them do that. For me I think it's just too personal.
 
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No, no, no, nope. No way.

I keep my "problem" minimal and would never expect nor ask her for something like that. Things might be different if I were to have a stroke or become incapacitated in some major way. But I think if that were the case, I would be shipped off to institutional care. Not everyone is cut out to be a nurse.
 
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My wife changed me the year I was quadriplegic, because there was no choice. Meanwhile, I had become a whale because of all the steroids, so it was difficult for her to handle me, so the diaper was never put on well. I put a stop to being changed by my wife or hospital staff as soon as I could handle it myself. Took 17 years to lose the weight.
 
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I would let my wife change my diaper all the time if she wanted to and had the time. But, no, normally, I change myself. She has changed me in the past after a surgery or an injury to my arms/hands.
 
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My wife changed enough diapers with our twins... so no I wouldn't put that on her if I could avoid it. That said, as with @Eclectic I did have her help when I lost effective use of my right arm for a while but I did most of the work and she just helped put tapes on while I held the diaper in place.

It's extremely rare for me to have a dirty diaper... If I did and had both of my arms disabled, I think I'd call a professional carer rather then ask my wife to deal with that.

That's my situation... if your gf believes that it would help build intimacy and be a positive thing for both of you, I don't see the harm. To each his/her own. However, from your reaction... I think it's fair to tell her that this is still difficult for you to share with someone else and you'd rather keep it to yourself.
 
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I would never ask my wife to change me unless there were no way to do it myself. I'm certain that she wouldn't hesitate to help me in any way I needed her to, but for me it just seems too personal to ask her to do that.
 
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My girlfriend has helped me with changes when I’ve been sick and a few awkward backseat car changes, but I usually manage myself. Changing is something I prefer to keep private.
 
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I am incontinent and had issues for a long time and simply my answer for years was not a chance even in the hospital I would do everything I could to deal with it myself. But eventually I had a hospital stay where I was unable to care for myself...it was not as demeaning or awful as it was in my mind. When I came home my wife took care of me for a while until I had recovered.
After that I'm a lot less guarded and have had several times where I have been taken care of it and I guess I'm more comfortable with it now and on occasion it's actually nice to let my wife change me and she has said it's nice to see me less protective over it and she felt like a wall was broken down between us. But I eventually reverted to my solo approach and honestly I think it created some issues as she felt like I was shutting her out and we started having more relationship issues. She says I'm too private and don't let her in and don't talk about my feelings and emotional state ...like what kind of crap is that.
Simply put I can't give advise as I seem to make all the wrong moves myself. But truth be told it was nice to have someone care for me and it wasn't all bad but I seem to have screwed it up. And now I actually miss it ....in some ways.
 
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I also see no reason why my wife should change my diaper as long as I can manage myself. I can be absolutely sure she would do it for me if I am - for what reason ever - not able to do myself. She offered her help when at the beginning of my IC I tried out tabbed diapers for the night for the very first time, but not only her but also myself had a lot experience many years back with the diapers of our three children, so it was no rocket science for me to find out how to reach a proper fit for my first real diaper on myself.
 
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My wife has never changed me per se but she has helped to tape me up a bit snugger than I can manage on my own a few times. That's been pretty rare though. I usually have them covered up around her
 
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I would never ask my wife to change me unless there were no way to do it myself. I'm certain that she wouldn't hesitate to help me in any way I needed her to, but for me it just seems too personal to ask her to do that.
This.
 
I eventually reverted to my solo approach and honestly I think it created some issues as she felt like I was shutting her out and we started having more relationship issues. She says I'm too private and don't let her in and don't talk about my feelings and emotional state ...like what kind of crap is that.
You answered your own question. It was never about your wife wanting to change your diaper. It's about you not sharing your feelings and emotional state. She's trying to find ways to get close to you where you are more vulnerable with her..
 
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When a couple get physically intimate, they have no issue with undressing each other, but afterwards they never dress each other. There's nothing wrong with dressing each other, but people don't typically see it as being intimate, or necessary, or showing acceptance. I just found it a pain to be changed and dressed by others, including my wife.
 
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When a couple get physically intimate, they have no issue with undressing each other, but afterwards they never dress each other. There's nothing wrong with dressing each other, but people don't typically see it as being intimate, or necessary, or showing acceptance. I just found it a pain to be changed and dressed by others, including my wife.
Well, it depends on the situation. A few years ago my wife had a hip replacement, and shortly after surgery it was very difficult (almost impossible) for her to bent down to put on/off her shoes, socks or pants. So it was purely natural for me to give her all assistance and do it for her as long as needed (and necessary) and she appreciated it. She would without questioning do me the same favor concerning diaper change if I would need any help (which I don't). And I would prefer very much if my wife would help me out than anyone else, and I can be absolutely sure she will do it lovingly and not only out of duty - the same as I do for her if she needs me!
 
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Well, it depends on the situation. A few years ago my wife had a hip replacement, and shortly after surgery it was very difficult (almost impossible) for her to bent down to put on/off her shoes, socks or pants. So it was purely natural for me to give her all assistance and do it for her as long as needed (and necessary) and she appreciated it. She would without questioning do me the same favor concerning diaper change if I would need any help (which I don't). And I would prefer very much if my wife would help me out than anyone else, and I can be absolutely sure she will do it lovingly and not only out of duty - the same as I do for her if she needs me!
You helped because she needed assistance. Absolutely the right and loving thing to do.
 
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I once cut my finger deep on my right hand. Couldn't use my hand practically at all for a few days. (Yeah, pretty nasty, deep cut...) That time my wife changed my diapers. Honestly, it was quite a humiliating experience for me.
 
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My wife diapers and changes me every day and night. She doesn't think much about it and it is a big help for me. She has been diapering and changing me for over 30 years. It doesn't matter what stage my diaper is in. Most mornings she has to change my disposable diaper in the office around 9-10 am. I take water spillage tablets in the morning, so the water works flows heavily early in the day.
 
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I have always managed changes on my own. Once I was very sick and had a hospital stay.
When I had to ask the nurse for dry diapers, she asked if I needed her to change me, but I told her no, I can manage myself.
When I got home I was still mostly lying in bed and my wife asked if I needed help to change, but it felt awkward so I told her no.

A part of me wanted to be changed, but I was too insecure about it and how this would effect our relationship, so I have always kept a very low profile.

Now I have started wondering that me being so secretive about it, have done more bad than good to the relationship.
 
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I have always managed changes on my own. Once I was very sick and had a hospital stay.
When I had to ask the nurse for dry diapers, she asked if I needed her to change me, but I told her no, I can manage myself.
When I got home I was still mostly lying in bed and my wife asked if I needed help to change, but it felt awkward so I told her no.

A part of me wanted to be changed, but I was too insecure about it and how this would effect our relationship, so I have always kept a very low profile.

Now I have started wondering that me being so secretive about it, have done more bad than good to the relationship.
When your incontinent, our wife's/spouses/SO that truly love us want to help. Don't let them stop from helping you. They are doing what comes natural to them and diapers are not that big of a deal for a woman. They have grown up all their lives knowing that diaper changing is just something they will have to do. It is really no big deal and even for a guy changing a woman's diaper that is incontinent has to look at it the same way. It would be just as important that we reciprocate with the task at hand.
 
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I'm IC, not abdl. My question is does your partner ever changed your diaper?

I have a girlfriend that knows I'm IC. We've been together for a short time. I've known her for almost 6 years before we became gf/bf.. We cycled and played tennis along with hikes. We haven't camped yet but we will this spring. She comes here and sleeps with me almost every weekend. For some reason she isn't bothered by me being IC.

In the beginning when we slept together I worried about my BM accidents while sleeping. Surprisingly she's okay with it. Probably because I use internal deodorant. She said she could smell something but not sure what it is. In the morning she sometimes teases me about "are you wearing a dirty diaper?" I just try to hit the bathroom first before she can say anything. But sometimes she touches my bottom and asks if you need a change. Funny and weird but also embarrassing. I don't think I'd ever let her change my morning diaper. Probably not letting her change a wet diaper either.

Do you let your partner change your diaper? I can't imagine her changing my diaper. Ever. When I was a kid the Galway woman (my mom) changed my diapers up until I was around 9. I had plenty of teachers and aides along with babysitters, and they did change me. My mom was very attentive and I liked that. At least until I became a bit more independent. But having a girlfriend change me just feels too weird.

I know that some IC/abdl people talk about how their partners changed them. But I'm asking specifically IC people. Do you let them? I can't imagine you let them do that. For me I think it's just too personal.
Hello! I think the only time my significant other had to change me, is when I was completely incapacitated (severe migraine, severe flu, and COVID) but other than that, absolutely not. I do not even recall my s/o changing me. I am only U-IN with occasional B-IN not AB/DL. That's true love though.
 
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