First time you questioned your gender?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Solve the bathroom issues with unisex bathrooms.
 
It's not about the bathrooms it about who we are as people being slowly stripped away. It's about the lawmakers basically saying that we don't exist and imposin fines and penalties on us for trying to just live our lives.

It's about people on the fringe being told time and time again, you don't matter, you dot exist, you are wron for being you and the best we have ever gotten is "were finally not going to kill you for existing but forget having legal rights and protections." it's apathy on a congressional level that is costin us our lives, our jobs, our children and our freedoms and the bathroom thing is just another kick in the teeth.

It's legal to fire a transgendered person in most states. When someone who is transitioning goes to the doctor they actually fear whether or not they will get the same treatment as everyone else and in reality there have been sooooooo many cases of transform being left and ignored in waiting rooms and the ER for ungodly amounts of time because no one wanted to Touch them. In one case a woman (male to female) was left to bleed to death in the ER of a hospital after being stabbed during a mugging and the hospital refuse to comment, the attending doctor claimed ignorance of her condition when that is not ignorance that is flat out negligence.

Many gay youth are kicked out of school and our of there homes, they face threat of death or corrective rape on a daily basis and when we go to the police we are brushed under the rug, ignored or they will go out of there way to deny it was a hate crime.

Children of transgendered parents face bullying, death threats or Ben being tossed from school. There is a huge debate right now about whether or not a gay couple should be allowed to adopt which is completely insane considering the would raise a child for a better reason than the condom broke.

When I had my first girlfriend we had to meet under bridges and at night because a group of kids decided they would try to "rape her straight" thank god she didn't get hurt but after that we could no longer be seen together.

It's not about the bathroom, the bathroom is just the newest way for lawmakers to tell us that we aren't real and we don't matter when Yes we are and yes we do and we hate living in a world where LGBT kids are takig there own lives on epidemic levels and all that congress can think to do is promote hate rather than a world where these kids can feel like they have a life to look forward to.
 
AshleyAshes said:
This right here is where CrinklesTheBunny said 'This thread is on a topic that I don't understand and have no vested interest in. I'm now going to make this thread all about my opinions and ideas.'
Click to expand...
And this right here is where AshleyAshes said, "I'm going to bring this older post up so that I can discredit anything positive CrinklesTheBunny may have to say."

I'm trying very hard to be positive here. I have stated in this thread several times that I want people to be happy with who they are. And I truly mean that. As I have stated before, I don't concentrate on labels. I concentrate on the sincerity, heart, and character of a person.

I hate the fact that people who are different for any reason have to fight so hard just to be accepted and get the opportunity to do things everyone else does. I'm visually impaired myself, and I know all about that kind of struggle. Any judgments I may seem to have made before this post, I apologize. Judging people is wrong. Loving people is right. Sometimes the way I phrase things can come out wrong, but understand I never mean any harm to anyone.
 
CrinklesTheBunny said:
I know all about that kind of struggle. Any judgments I may seem to have made before this post, I apologize. Judging people is wrong. Loving people is right. Sometimes the way I phrase things can come out wrong, but understand I never mean any harm to anyone.
Click to expand...

You seriously didn't just go there. No way you just went there. Comparing your issues to ours is NOT COOL dude. And if you were sorry for what you said you would have stopped when gigglemuffinz first clearly showed signs of being upset with what you had said, not continued to prattle on about why your way is the only way and nothing else is valid/sane and continuing to hijack her thread. After Geno and other people told you that you were saying things that harm other people you continued. I don't believe that you're sorry for a second and are just saying that to avoid further repercussions as many people I've known personally in the past often try and do like it makes everything alright...until they've overused their sorries.

I've watched this thread each time it updated and I wholeheartedly disagree with every negative stance you've made in it, as a transgirl I'm disgusted and angry, and as a human - well, I'll have another period where I don't have faith in most people. Can you please point out where in your many posts in this thread what you feel were positive comments? Because I can't find any.


Now, back to the actual topic, the first time I questioned my gender is pretty trans-stereotypical but I out of curiosity one day snuck some of my mothers clothes (single parent and no siblings so... :S) and found they made me happy when I looked in the mirror. Being the tech-savvy teenager (this was when I was going on 13) I tried to find out information as to why they made me feel this way and eventually connected with a few fellow older teenage transgirls who confirmed what I probably knew subconsciously at the time.

I did the whole couple years of dressing in private, tried to get involved in the advocacy community (things were so much more non-existent in 2002 I'll tell you) and due to...unsavory things going on at the same time in my life it got played down as 'just being a phase' and got buried for many years (always lingering though) which of course caused severe depression and weight gain so by the time I was able to approach the subject again things were just too bad to around the time I moved out on my own.

Then after a 'wakeup call' and the start of my chronic health problems (still going on, yay) I opened the door and immersed myself back in and got on the slow path to getting onto hormones and have been on them for approaching a year next week and while things are far from optimal due to my other issues it definitely was the right choice.
 
TheGirlNamedSara said:
You seriously didn't just go there. No way you just went there. Comparing your issues to ours is NOT COOL dude. And if you were sorry for what you said you would have stopped when gigglemuffinz first clearly showed signs of being upset with what you had said, not continued to prattle on about why your way is the only way and nothing else is valid/sane and continuing to hijack her thread. After Geno and other people told you that you were saying things that harm other people you continued. I don't believe that you're sorry for a second and are just saying that to avoid further repercussions as many people I've known personally in the past often try and do like it makes everything alright...until they've overused their sorries.

I've watched this thread each time it updated and I wholeheartedly disagree with every negative stance you've made in it, as a transgirl I'm disgusted and angry, and as a human - well, I'll have another period where I don't have faith in most people. Can you please point out where in your many posts in this thread what you feel were positive comments? Because I can't find any.


Now, back to the actual topic, the first time I questioned my gender is pretty trans-stereotypical but I out of curiosity one day snuck some of my mothers clothes (single parent and no siblings so... :S) and found they made me happy when I looked in the mirror. Being the tech-savvy teenager (this was when I was going on 13) I tried to find out information as to why they made me feel this way and eventually connected with a few fellow older teenage transgirls who confirmed what I probably knew subconsciously at the time.

I did the whole couple years of dressing in private, tried to get involved in the advocacy community (things were so much more non-existent in 2002 I'll tell you) and due to...unsavory things going on at the same time in my life it got played down as 'just being a phase' and got buried for many years (always lingering though) which of course caused severe depression and weight gain so by the time I was able to approach the subject again things were just too bad to around the time I moved out on my own.

Then after a 'wakeup call' and the start of my chronic health problems (still going on, yay) I opened the door and immersed myself back in and got on the slow path to getting onto hormones and have been on them for approaching a year next week and while things are far from optimal due to my other issues it definitely was the right choice.
Click to expand...
See this is what I mean. I try to say something positive and all you see is negative TheGirlNamedSara. I'm not trying to compare my issues with yours. I have struggled myself in life. I'm just saying I understand people having to struggle period. Why are so quick to get mad? Seems to me you're trying awfully hard to prove everything I say as a personal attack on LGBT people. When I was talking about struggles, the only common ground I was referring to is being accepted. Did you even see the part in my post where I said that I hate the fact the people that are different from others have to struggle with being in accepted? As a person who h as struggled with being accepted my entire life, that's the part that I sympathize with. Everyone should be treated equally. ........no matter what. You don't have to believe me or even take my apology sincerely. Your opinion is your opinion and you're welcome to voice it.

I know a little more about the struggles that LGBT than you think. I have some friends, very close friends that are involved in the LGBT community, and we talk all the time about things just like what is being posted here. I'm not against anyone here. I'm not the enemy, as it were. Everyday I'm striving to understand and love people more and more. I'm not trying to poke fun, antagonize, or upset anyone. I'm just saying I accept people for who they are. That's all anyone wants out if life, is to be accepted for who they are without fear of being judged, persecuted, or treated differently.

And I am all for equality of everyone.
TheGirlNamedSara said:
You seriously didn't just go there. No way you just went there. Comparing your issues to ours is NOT COOL dude. And if you were sorry for what you said you would have stopped when gigglemuffinz first clearly showed signs of being upset with what you had said, not continued to prattle on about why your way is the only way and nothing else is valid/sane and continuing to hijack her thread. After Geno and other people told you that you were saying things that harm other people you continued. I don't believe that you're sorry for a second and are just saying that to avoid further repercussions as many people I've known personally in the past often try and do like it makes everything alright...until they've overused their sorries.

I've watched this thread each time it updated and I wholeheartedly disagree with every negative stance you've made in it, as a transgirl I'm disgusted and angry, and as a human - well, I'll have another period where I don't have faith in most people. Can you please point out where in your many posts in this thread what you feel were positive comments? Because I can't find any.


Now, back to the actual topic, the first time I questioned my gender is pretty trans-stereotypical but I out of curiosity one day snuck some of my mothers clothes (single parent and no siblings so... :S) and found they made me happy when I looked in the mirror. Being the tech-savvy teenager (this was when I was going on 13) I tried to find out information as to why they made me feel this way and eventually connected with a few fellow older teenage transgirls who confirmed what I probably knew subconsciously at the time.

I did the whole couple years of dressing in private, tried to get involved in the advocacy community (things were so much more non-existent in 2002 I'll tell you) and due to...unsavory things going on at the same time in my life it got played down as 'just being a phase' and got buried for many years (always lingering though) which of course caused severe depression and weight gain so by the time I was able to approach the subject again things were just too bad to around the time I moved out on my own.

Then after a 'wakeup call' and the start of my chronic health problems (still going on, yay) I opened the door and immersed myself back in and got on the slow path to getting onto hormones and have been on them for approaching a year next week and while things are far from optimal due to my other issues it definitely was the right choice.
Click to expand...
 
The first time for me, was after meeting with a Mistress, that totally feminized me and turned me into a sissy and gave me her strap-on, since then, I have bought so many girly clothes, mostly pink, silicone breast forms, wig, toys and makeup and love wetting my panties, so naturally now love diapers as well. This sissy loves to play dress-up and then take pics of herself and find places to show them off online. I don't even think about sex as man on women anymore, I am a total sissy submissive bottom from now on
 
I've always said this stuff (diapers, gender, orientation, etc) chooses us, rather than the other way around.

We are what we have become, no matter the cause.
 
I never really stopped questioning my gender. Since I was a kid, I always have urges to be a boy and a girl. Now, I'm still really confused of what I should identify myself as
 
I'm not trans, but I did go through a period of gender questioning. At about age ten, I started becoming fascinated with girls clothing, particularly dresses and underwear. I sort of...borrowed from my mom for a while, until getting caught. But while wearing, I sometimes imagined myself as a girl. I even had a really vivid dream in which I was a girl, and felt sad when it was over.

In university, with these interests repressed pretty hard, I became aware of what being transgender meant. I spent a long time wondering if the label applied to me. In the end, I realized that I'm generally happy as a man, and don't want to live as a woman permanently. But sometimes I still like to dress up and rolrplay as female (as an adult, and I'm always a girl when regressing). I wouldn't call myself trans, but I do have similar interests. Possibly some sort of genderqueer. But whatever I am, I'm happy and feel like I've balanced all my various quirks. And I love hearing about the journies others are on, too!

Lastly, this is a great thread to see on my return to the boards. It's got some wonderful stories and lots of education!
 
I just got caught up on the last couple of weeks of this thread.

As a little kid I sometimes wanted to wear girls clothes, which I don't think is all that unusual. I got caught a few times, and got in trouble of course. Through my life I have consistently been uncomfortable with conventional masculinity, and felt repressed by it at times. Personally, I consider myself to be somewhere between the conventional ideas of male and female. Unfortunately for me, I'm 6'6" and have a very deep voice. For most of the general public, it is unlikely that I will be perceived as anything other than male, which is fine. At this point, I am mostly interested in pushing societal boundaries of what is allowed within male gender roles.


CrinklesTheBunny said:
Solve the bathroom issues with unisex bathrooms.
Click to expand...
CrinklesTheBunny,
I genuinely appreciate your call to love and respect all people, and to form opinions of them based solely on character while ignoring everything else. I think that is a great way to operate as an individual! However, it is nowhere near how society operates currently. For society to accomplish that, it would essentially need to get rid of all meaningful requirements and restrictions which are based on a person's gender or any other characteristic. Unfortunately traditional ideas of gender are so deeply ingrained within society, and even within languages, that I think it is highly unlikely that those kinds of changes would occur within our lifetime.

The way society is structured currently causes a lot of injustice and suffering for people who don't fit neatly into conservative ideals of male or female. That is what we are fighting to change. Yes, labels are complicated and sometimes confusing, and yes they are just labels. A label does not define a person. However, they are sometimes very useful in helping to increase public understanding, allowing for meaningful discussion at a societal level, and working to make changes in the structure of society.

I quoted your suggestion of unisex bathrooms, because I think its a good example of one of the ways in which society is currently structured exclusively around traditional ideals of male and female. It illustrates just how much change would have to happen for people's gender to be irrelevant. In the meantime the fight needs to continue for people of all genders to have equal rights within the current structure of society. Labels are sometimes a useful tool in that fight.

I've probably contributed to derailing this thread even further, so if anyone wants to continue discussing in this direction, please PM me and we can start a new thread if there is interest.

Sincerely, Bean
 
Sometimes I wish I had the answer to social injustice. I wish it was an easy fix and everything and everyone one live peacefully. But the unfortunate thing is people can be buttholes, bigots, racists, and sexists. And until people stop acting like that, there will always be a fight for equal freedom for everyone.
 
Gender questioning? Why would any of us do that? Seriously, I'm glad to see more and more people willing to either question the status quo or embrace something different entirely.

I'm firmly male, though I've had my times of questioning where and what I wanted to be in life. My mother dominated our household, and when you couple that with a lot of her attitudes, it's not surprising that I found myself in my sister's old things until I finally had some semblance of daytime control just before starting kindergarten. When I hit puberty I got curious about things and asked my mom what it was like to be a girl. I wound up getting dressed head to toe that night and when I said I liked it and would dress up again if I could, mom took me out to buy me my own things.

Gave me plenty of time to dress and explore what it was like, and gave me the understanding that genitalia do not define who we are.
 
AnalogRTO said:
Gender questioning? Why would any of us do that? Seriously, I'm glad to see more and more people willing to either question the status quo or embrace something different entirely.

I'm firmly male, though I've had my times of questioning where and what I wanted to be in life. My mother dominated our household, and when you couple that with a lot of her attitudes, it's not surprising that I found myself in my sister's old things until I finally had some semblance of daytime control just before starting kindergarten. When I hit puberty I got curious about things and asked my mom what it was like to be a girl. I wound up getting dressed head to toe that night and when I said I liked it and would dress up again if I could, mom took me out to buy me my own things.

Gave me plenty of time to dress and explore what it was like, and gave me the understanding that genitalia do not define who we are.
Click to expand...
Exactly AnalogRTO. No one should be defined by their genitals. They should be defined by their personality and character.
 
You can be cis and still struggle with and question your gender. The two ideas are not mutually exclusive. While it is true that most people who go through a period of questioning end up determining that they are not cis, that does not make the lived experiences of cis people who at any time questioned their gender any less valid. While they cannot speak to what being trans means, they can speak to their own experiences. We should welcome all voices into the conversation, not exclude people because they are different than we are. Cis people have a gender too. Just because their gender matches their birth assignment doesn't make their experience with gender any less important.
 
Amcon said:
You can be cis and still struggle with and question your gender. The two ideas are not mutually exclusive. While it is true that most people who go through a period of questioning end up determining that they are not cis, that does not make the lived experiences of cis people who at any time questioned their gender any less valid. While they cannot speak to what being trans means, they can speak to their own experiences. We should welcome all voices into the conversation, not exclude people because they are different than we are. Cis people have a gender too. Just because their gender matches their birth assignment doesn't make their experience with gender any less important.
Click to expand...

That is true, in so many ways. Personally I feel I have questioned my gender at times, although that doesn't make me not a man, I just like girlish clothes and diapers, and acting like a little, sometimes. :blushie:
 
The first time I questioned my gender was around the time I got into high school. Here, I actually met and became friends with people that were transgender/gender fluid, and I started seriously considering switching genders; something in my mind that is still up for internal discussion.

In specifics, I met(more observed; I developed a crush on him/her) a gender fluid upperclassman in my Freshman year of high school. There, I started to consider whether I should identify as neither genders, b both genders, or change gender entirely. Currently, I haven't done much to my gender identification (still a guy in public...) but the whole experience really changed the way I think about myself.
 
First year of college. Was by far one of the hardest schools I've ever went to and while dealing with advanced level courses, I also was starting to notice how my identity wasn't matching up with my lifestyle. Some of my most isolating days were to come from that first year. If it wasn't for the fact I found solace years later within my fluidity, who knows what I would have become.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top