Nice post Lobie, but if only it was something that could actually be understood in a scientific manner. After many decades of studying this, after posting my own theories and understanding, and continually reading and trying to learn what the psychiatric and scientific world sees this as... I am convinced there does not exist a real and complete description of what being ABDL is. It is like trying to describe the Grand Canyon to someone who has never seen it. You can say it is a deep and beautiful canyon with lots of colors and rock formations and the like, but you will never fully describe or understand it unless you have experienced it yourself. And then, even then, it will be impossible to provide the correct words that will capture what it is as it changes from season to season and from visitor to visitor.Lobie said:The definition of fetish will depend on who you ask; for most people, however, a fetish is anything that causes sexual arousal. This could be any object, act, or situation that is not considered a normal sexual situation; whether it be a fantasy or a real scenario. Sometimes people may find that the fetish is required for sexual satisfaction.
Well said, I believe they make fun of what they're afraid of- ignorance can be bliss.Evahasgone2 said:It's like all the raves for shows like Jerry Springer or Maury Povich.. Those shows just make fun of serious subjects.
CriseCrise said:Something missing in all this truly good info as with most med theories is the existence of the Soul. We- I believe are much more than computers to be imprinted/programmed to react to Stemmles.
thank You>DylanLewis said:Crise
Hear. Hear. You may be interested in Donald W. Winnicott's concept of The True Self (and its converse the False Self). The True Self is as close as I have seen a secular psychiatrist and psychoanalyst come to recognizing the soul and incorporating that in their concept of psychological health. Winnicott (b.1986 d.1971) has been described as the greatest British psychoanalyst who ever lived. He is outstanding for his insight, humanity, and humility. During the WW2 London Blitz he drove through the bombed streets to the BBC to deliver his inspirational and conversational radio lectures on child development for parents struggling to care for their children in the midst of the war - a testament to humanity and hope in a world gone mad. He had a realistic yet optimistic view of the human condition. He wasn't just a brilliant theorist but a gifted clinician who brought healing to troubled children and tormented adults. Winnicott believed that psychological health was more than just the absence of pathology or illness. Winnicott believed that the True Self is what makes us uniquely and authentically ourselves. It is there in the spontaneous 'aha' moments as we discover life and ourselves, and the source of our creativity. It is authentic but not selfish.
DylanLewis said:Therapist’s Jasmin Lee Cori’s book ‘The Emotionally Absent Mother: How to Recognize and Heal the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect’ is a good self help resource for healing an insecure attachment.
CriseCrise said:Sometimes it is just who we are, acceptance not healing is wats needed.
I Agee nothing wrong with having a fetish. Others may have a critical view of your fetish, mine started at 13 when mom mistakenly put a pair of sasses panties in my drawer, and I fell asleep in them. Next morning when mom woke me for school. Mom was shocked, when dad found out he immediately call the Head Shrinker. Just to be told that it was normal for young boys to be carious about the differences of boys and girls. I found that panties were comfier than my tightly whites. Put my love for Panties on hold for 40+ years. Now I can't get enough and after 47 pairs in a month. I still want more.Crise said:Sometimes it is just who we are, acceptance not healing is wats needed.
Lobie said:Behaviourism beings fetishism back to classical conditioning, and has provided new specialized theories. The common idea among all such theories is that sexual arousal and the fetish object are presented simultaneously causing them to be connected. This is similar to Alfred Binet's earlier theory of associations but leaves out the judgment of pathogenicity.
Lobie said:The lovemap begins forming around the age of 2, and may finish at about the age of 8, though these aren't hard definitive numbers and there may be some differences from person to person. A paraphilic lovemap is a lovemap that has lust attached to fetishistic desires or behaviours.
The lovemap can develop paraphilically due to childhood abuse that is overtly sexual, such as incestuous acts against the child, sadomasochistic behavior, or pedophilia. A lovemap that develops this way is often called a "vandalized lovemap" which could result in serious or dangerous paraphilias
Or ABDL people can end up interacting with kids at their own emotional, mental level and be able to understand and play even better than “normal” people. Lots of ABDL have great imaginations and can let loose and actually play with the kids in their games instead of the half asked amount most parents do ……Clothdiaperman said:I do not identify with ADBL. I could see ADBL as a problem not a solution. What if the ADBL tendencies make some act out in a negative way towards a child? How are they dealt with? Are mental health care leaves a lot to be desired now in the current time. I do not feel the need to dress, or decorate my living space or act in mannerisms of a child. I do feel that being in cloth diapers and plastic pants gave me an object attachment and a since of comfort peace, and arousal that never went away. I had thoughts of wanting to be in cloth diapers and plastic pants into my adulthood and did not undusted these desires. I identify with the concept of cloth diaper lover. I feel the desire to wear cloth diapers and plastic pants 24/7 because of the way they make me feel and the sexual gratification that they also provide. I limit my wearing to around the house in private and every night at bed time. I have gone without wear diapers at night when around family or when there is circumstance where my habit would cause questions or problems. I do not like times when I can not wear diapers and plastic pants. I am uncomfortable when can not be in in cloth diapers and plastic pants. I wish there was more research to the how, what and why of diaper lovers or diaper fetish,
TeddyBearCowboy said:Nice post Lobie, but if only it was something that could actually be understood in a scientific manner. After many decades of studying this, after posting my own theories and understanding, and continually reading and trying to learn what the psychiatric and scientific world sees this as... I am convinced there does not exist a real and complete description of what being ABDL is. It is like trying to describe the Grand Canyon to someone who has never seen it. You can say it is a deep and beautiful canyon with lots of colors and rock formations and the like, but you will never fully describe or understand it unless you have experienced it yourself. And then, even then, it will be impossible to provide the correct words that will capture what it is as it changes from season to season and from visitor to visitor.
You gave a good overall description, and I appreciate your sharing, but again, I am convinced that there does not exist a sound understanding of the facets of what this really is and what it is all about.
Its a process of learning and for each of us it is slightly or greatly different. For me, it is not a fetish or paraphilia as what it used to be understood as. As I read more about what this means and the sexual nature of fetishes or paraphilia, I throw this out as trash. As there may be a sexual component, but it often may not. So clumping it as something that IS, is not fully correct. Like clumping in one who likes shoes as having a fetish, but in reality, they just like shoes and don't have sexual feelings towards it. Are there shoe fetishists, well yeah, but that doesn't make everyone who is into shoes a fetishist.
It is in a category that is really, or in my opinion, really should be its own category. We who are ABDL just are. We exist, we have the desire to wear diapers and regress at times (or not) or we might just like feeling babyish, or just the feeling of wearing a diaper. That is a broad spectrum and only hits upon a small part of the full diversity of what ABDL or DL folks may feel. To some is it a fetish, I know it is. But again, that doesn't explain or say that it is a fetish for others.
Hence, it just is. Better to accept yourself and your feelings for who you are and what it means to you, than try to clump everyone in a box where you don't really fit.
Is it a bad thing to try to understand it and consider what psychologists and other "professionals" may have concluded? Well no, but the fact is that they haven't yet gotten it perfect, so I would caution folks to take these studies with a grain of salt. They have some good points and rationale, but they haven't gotten it right yet. Nor I highly doubt they ever fully will.