Feeling Lost and Unmotivated

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Est. Contributor
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
All my life I feel as if everything I've done is a battle. It just seems to get worse. I just don't have it in myself anymore. I've often thought that life is pointless. I've never enjoyed my life. It seems like I would like to do something, get ready to do it, and just completely lose all interest. I find myself ignoring friends and family. I'm ashamed of the way I look, ashamed of my less than average manhood. I've never been in a relationship. I've had a few people here and there but I just run them off by ignoring them. I feel as if I'm just dragging people down with me. I think I've gotten to a point where I just enjoy nothing and isolate myself. I don't know how to crawl out of this endless pit.

I'm thinking of suicide multiple times a day. I don't even cry anymore as the thought of death seems like a release from being in my own mind and actually brings happy feelings.

I've tried improving my life. It still doesn't help the feeling. I don't take drugs or anything, I don't drink. I have a head on my shoulders. I just don't know how to be happy or content.

Everything is just starting to get overwhelming for me. I cry because I feel like I'm stuck in a situation where perhaps my passing would have bad effects. I wouldn't want to harm someone in the process.

Then it becomes a blame game in my head and I start feeling negatively about the people I care about. I feel that is their fault why I'm still here.

I'm just so sick and tired of living and don't feel like doing anything anymore.


Est. Contributor
Have you thought maybe being personally miserable is not your destiny?

Maybe finding a Therapist or anti depressant medication could substantially improve your day to day life. Being stuck in a bad situation and not doing anything about it is classic depression, you don't have the energy or ability to make a change for whatever reason,is the time to make a small change like seeing a therapist twice a month , it's someone impartial to run things by ,who you can say anything to and it goes nowhere, you can just go and safely dump whatever is on your mind, and generally a therapist can tell you Wether it's time to see a doc for medication treatment.

Thinking of suicide on a regular basis is definitely a slippery slope to go down .

Don't ride this thing down , seek help with it , it's out there you just have to ask.

You have to invest some time into finding a compatable therapist, not every patient and every therapist will work well together so finding the right one may take more than one try, That's why your first appointment is to feel out Wether you can deal with this person and Wether they feel safe.

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Est. Contributor
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
I've done several things to deal with depression. When my wife's health was crashing, I decided to write a novel, which I did. I've also gotten a couple of adult coloring books which can be relaxing. I'm a musician so I've begun to practice piano a lot more and build up a repertoire I can play.

I hope you can find something that would give you some pleasure and that would be relaxing. Depression can be very debilitating and it sounds like you are at a place where you need some help. It may be up to you to initiate this and that can be difficult because of what depression does. If so, maybe you need to talk to a loved one, like a parent.


Adult Baby, Babyfur
"I've tried improving my life. It still doesn't help the feeling. I don't take drugs or anything, I don't drink. I have a head on my shoulders. I just don't know how to be happy or content"

You might need "drugs".

Not the "street" type though.

I had a great life but my brain wasn't on the same wave link.

For myself, I needed meds to see that my views of myself were not real.

I became stronger by admitting I needed help.

With my own experience with suicide, including involuntary hospitalization, is that I only wanted the pain to end and things to be different.

I didn't really want to die.

Just could not deal with the pain.

Dealing with the pain, for myself, was the ultimate answer.

Reach out to others as you are doing here.

Also reach inside yourself.

Be gentle with yourself as if you were the child many of are in the core of ourselves .
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