Feeling down

[Resnov1913]

I been dealing with incontience for a few years. Mostly just dribbles but of late been a lot worse. I have seen a Dr who ran every test possible.

Urge, frequency, leakage including at night. Whenthe nurse catherized me as part as one of the tests she pulled almost 400cc after I went to the bathroom. She even made the comment I may want to consider discussing catheters with the urologist after she completed the test. The urologist (non va) does not seem to be concerned with the fact I am retaining urinenand leaking.

The VA sent me a case of tranquilty atn which my wife kinda laughed about. I go through several pads and still smell like urine when i come home and at a pair of sleep pants during the night wash the sheets frequently.

My wife is against the diapers as they crinkle and she thinks work may discriminate against me for it. And says the sound would bother her at night.

I am tired of wetting my clothes and bedding and have taken to wearing a diaper at night for past two nights and starting to during the day.

How do people cope and how do you tell your spouse you are tired of making a mess and you basically hive up and just want to use the diapers to cope? I have a apt for second opinion however nothing abnormal was found to cause the issues. Honestly

 

[Petya217]

Hi Resnov.

I van relate to your issue, the reason for my incontinence is also unknown. It is very frustrating to not know what's the reason. I've been wearing diapers 24/7 since Feb. It's kind of nerve-wracking at first, but way better then wetting your pants.

As for your colleagues, I believe they won't ever notice, if you are reasonably discreet. I'm wearing a quite thick, plastic back diaper to office every day and noone ever realised it.

With your wife, though, it is a different story. Mine was very supportive from the first minute and never ever criticised me for wearing diapers. I'd suggest to explain her how you feel and how you believe you would be more sled confident wearing diapers, how it would reduce stress as you won't have to fear of embarrassing accidents and how uncomfortable it is to wet wake up wet and cold in the bed. Also tell her, this is not a choice of your like, it is not a hobby for you, but a need, with medical reason. She should be there to support you and not to discourage and further embarrass you.

 

[neophyte]

Hello and welcome to ADISC.

You're both going through some changes and acceptance stages, allow her some time (days or weeks) to process, adjust and accept. It can all be overwhelming for her as well as for you.

You could lighten the mood and joke that you could get these cooler skull and bone ones (Rearz Rebel)




As for smell, what works for me is to drink less coffee and drink more water as it helps dilute the urine and not be so yellow; but would result in more wetting.

There's no shame in having to wear protection at night and your wife needs to understand that this is a medical condition out of your control, diapers have come a long way and are much more comfortable than hooking up tubes to your willy. Also, diapers are much more advanced than in the past as they soak up urine and almost make it disappear; they keep you dry.

 

[LittleMaddox]

Welcome to the forums.

Just an fyi, Tranquility really aren't a premium brand anymore. I'd recommend looking into Northshore's products or BetterDry, which have much higher capacity so you have to go through less and likely higher odour protection. You also could consider looking into getting a pair of PUL pants which will help eliminate odour and noise. Premium brands will also lock in the urine better which might help reduce odour and also staying properly hydrated and eliminating beverages such as coffee should help too

 

[Resnov1913]

Welcome to the forums.

Just an fyi, Tranquility really aren't a premium brand anymore. I'd recommend looking into Northshore's products or BetterDry, which have much higher capacity so you have to go through less and likely higher odour protection. You also could consider looking into getting a pair of PUL pants which will help eliminate odour and noise. Premium brands will also lock in the urine better which might help reduce odour and also staying properly hydrated and eliminating beverages such as coffee should help too

Oh i know but i get at no cost from the VA. And the other ones were the "cloth like" which do not work for me.

 

[Resnov1913]

If the VA would cover the other two be great.

 

[LittleMaddox]

Oh i know but i get at no cost from the VA. And the other ones were the "cloth like" which do not work for me.

If they won't cover a higher quality product I'd highly recommend a pair of PUL pants then to help provide some extra protection and reduce noise and odour. They're about $20-30 ea.

 

[Resnov1913]

Hello and welcome to ADISC.

You're both going through some changes and acceptance stages, allow her some time (days or weeks) to process, adjust and accept. It can all be overwhelming for her as well as for you.

You could lighten the mood and joke that you could get these cooler skull and bone ones (Rearz Rebel)

View attachment 34728


As for smell, what works for me is to drink less coffee and drink more water as it helps dilute the urine and not be so yellow; but would result in more wetting.

There's no shame in having to wear protection at night and your wife needs to understand that this is a medical condition out of your control, diapers have come a long way and are much more comfortable than hooking up tubes to your willy. Also, diapers are much more advanced than in the past as they soak up urine and almost make it disappear; they keep you dry.

I love the skull print btw

 

[jdinvirginia]

Welcome Resnov, I realize that everything is new to you and can be overwhelming.
Regardless of which diaper you wear, consider adding a booster pad to get more absorption.
Definitely wear some sort of diaper cover, commonly called "plastic pants" to catch any leaks from the diaper. This is especially important at work. As Topex recommended, use a pair of PUL pants as they are breathable and quiet. I like the ones from the Gary brand. If you hand wash and air dry them they will last a very long time.
You can wear a pair of cotton underpants over the plastic pants, or between the plastic pants and the diaper. This provides some extra absorption in the event the diaper leaks). Note that this also helps to silence any sound from the diapers.
There is an old adage with a lot of wisdom that goes "It is better to bulge than to leak."
I am double incontinent (both bladder and bowel) and wear 24/7. I have walked in your shoes.
Feel free to PM me with any questions or just to vent.

--John

 

[diaperfooties]

Hello and welcome to ADISC.

You're both going through some changes and acceptance stages, allow her some time (days or weeks) to process, adjust and accept. It can all be overwhelming for her as well as for you.

You could lighten the mood and joke that you could get these cooler skull and bone ones (Rearz Rebel)

View attachment 34728


As for smell, what works for me is to drink less coffee and drink more water as it helps dilute the urine and not be so yellow; but would result in more wetting.

There's no shame in having to wear protection at night and your wife needs to understand that this is a medical condition out of your control, diapers have come a long way and are much more comfortable than hooking up tubes to your willy. Also, diapers are much more advanced than in the past as they soak up urine and almost make it disappear; they keep you dry.

Haha I showed a picture to my none abdl friend of the different diapers I had. Her favorite one was the skull and bones one.

 

[diaperfooties]

Hi Resnov.

I van relate to your issue, the reason for my incontinence is also unknown. It is very frustrating to not know what's the reason. I've been wearing diapers 24/7 since Feb. It's kind of nerve-wracking at first, but way better then wetting your pants.

As for your colleagues, I believe they won't ever notice, if you are reasonably discreet. I'm wearing a quite thick, plastic back diaper to office every day and noone ever realised it.

With your wife, though, it is a different story. Mine was very supportive from the first minute and never ever criticised me for wearing diapers. I'd suggest to explain her how you feel and how you believe you would be more sled confident wearing diapers, how it would reduce stress as you won't have to fear of embarrassing accidents and how uncomfortable it is to wet wake up wet and cold in the bed. Also tell her, this is not a choice of your like, it is not a hobby for you, but a need, with medical reason. She should be there to support you and not to discourage and further embarrass you.

I would also explain to your wife that it is just like any other medical condition. If you broke your arm you would need a cast how are diapers any different from any other medical device? You cannot help what you need and that is the bottom line.

I am not incontinent but I have worn many types of diapers everywhere and no one has ever said a word about it. Diapers are much much harder to notice than you would think.

 

[Resnov1913]

I swear I hear crinkling everytime I move or sit.

 

[diaperfooties]

I swear I hear crinkling everytime I move or sit.

You may hear it but other do not or they think it is something else like candy wrapper or something.

 

[Wetshisbed]

I swear I hear crinkling everytime I move or sit.

No one will notice I promise you and if they do they won't care. I have been wearing nappies for over 7 years now and it gets just 2nd nature eventually

 

[Rob110]

We hear the sounds our diapers make due to the fact we are listening for it at first as we are self conscious about people noticing our diapers as time passes that fear disappears as we realize no one notices our diapers or any crinkle sound.
Wear a onesie to help hide the diaper and to keep it inplace it will also help cut down any crinkle sounds.

as for your wife she will come around after all its a medical need not a I want to be in diapers desire none of us wanted to be back in diapers as an adult but out of all that can go wrong medically with out body's I am happy all I need is a diaper do deal with it and my bladder issue is not life threatening just annoying.

There are millions of us out there that need to wear diapers 24/7 its a more common place issue than you think

 

[alwayz]

I wear cloth diapers with a booster and PUL pants. this combination works well for me. I wear jeans over my diaper and PUL pants and there is no appreciable noise.

 

[ic4life]

I been dealing with incontience for a few years. Mostly just dribbles but of late been a lot worse. I have seen a Dr who ran every test possible.

Urge, frequency, leakage including at night. Whenthe nurse catherized me as part as one of the tests she pulled almost 400cc after I went to the bathroom. She even made the comment I may want to consider discussing catheters with the urologist after she completed the test. The urologist (non va) does not seem to be concerned with the fact I am retaining urinenand leaking.

The VA sent me a case of tranquilty atn which my wife kinda laughed about. I go through several pads and still smell like urine when i come home and at a pair of sleep pants during the night wash the sheets frequently.

My wife is against the diapers as they crinkle and she thinks work may discriminate against me for it. And says the sound would bother her at night.

I am tired of wetting my clothes and bedding and have taken to wearing a diaper at night for past two nights and starting to during the day.

How do people cope and how do you tell your spouse you are tired of making a mess and you basically hive up and just want to use the diapers to cope? I have a apt for second opinion however nothing abnormal was found to cause the issues. Honestly

You can wear breathable diapers. There is brand made in Italy called EGOSAN. It is the most absorbent diaper that does not crinkle. I have a neurogenic bladder. You probably suffer from bladder retention. Using catheters help drain your bladder. Discuss your options with your Urologist. There are other brands online from Northshorecare. Good luck

 

[AEWfanOnWheelsInDiapers]

First thing I would say thanks for your service. I would think that your wife would like to have u In diapers as it keeps her dry. O well. I wish you all the best

 

[TexasToast11]

they crinkle

I've been in diapers for 37 yrs, my wife doesn't care as long as she is the one that gets to change me. God wanted me in Diapers for a reason, don't know why but I've accepted it. Now for premium diapers during the day I wear Molicare Super Plus Briefs they can take a hefty payload with no problem and at night I wear 12hr Mega Max by North Shore Care. You wanna talk about an amazing diaper and none of my diapers like a "Potato Chip Bag"

 

[ic4life]

How

I've been in diapers for 37 yrs, my wife doesn't care as long as she is the one that gets to change me. God wanted me in Diapers for a reason, don't know why but I've accepted it. Now for premium diapers during the day I wear Molicare Super Plus Briefs they can take a hefty payload with no problem and at night I wear 12hr Mega Max by North Shore Care. You wanna talk about an amazing diaper and none of my diapers like a "Potato Chip Bag"

How did you become diaper dependent? Mega Max is the best diaper.