Feeling ashamed :/

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chocosaurusrex

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  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
Hey guys,

I've been wearing diapers for a few months now and I do enjoy it as much as I always thought I would. I now wear as much as I can in my free time and it helps ease my mind. Ever since I was little I've been fascinated by diapers, onesies, pacifiers, etc. and always felt drawn to them. Always in the back of my mind. Now that I've been wearing and realized how relaxing and amazing being little is I accept it as a part of myself that won't simply go away. Sometimes I wish I could forget about it and never think about them again but it's seemingly impossible. I often feel ashamed of myself for having deep interest in such a strange facet of life, but it does clear my mind and help with stress and constant anxiety. I've been feeling so conflicted about having this little side and don't know how to really feel. I try to embrace it as much as I can, and see so many other people who are like me. It is harmless enough but for sure a strange thing to take part in and I understand that. I always have anxiety about being found out or not accepted, but don't mind keeping it a secret to myself. I do have constant worry that someone will find my diaper stash or my paci and onesie, and carry a lot of this weight with me daily.

Have any of you felt the same way? What did you do to get through it or are you going through it as well? I just need a little piece of mind or some helpful words to find my way. Sorry for the lengthy post, just figured that this was the place to put my thoughts and maybe get some clarity.

Thanks babies,
-choco
 
From what you're saying here, it sounds like you've accepted it as a thing for you and that's no small matter. Getting to be happy with it can be a whole other kettle of fish. Most of us need or at least want to be discreet. Don't confuse the advantages of discretion and privacy with the shame that can be connected to secrecy. There's nothing wrong with you but it is a strange desire in the context of adult society. It can be wonderfully strange under the right circumstancs. Try to maximize those elements in your life so that you can get the good out of it.

In twenty years, I doubt you'll be looking back at yourself wishing you had been less accepting of those things that bring you joy.
 
chocosaurusrex said:
Hey guys,

I've been wearing diapers for a few months now and I do enjoy it as much as I always thought I would. I now wear as much as I can in my free time and it helps ease my mind. Ever since I was little I've been fascinated by diapers, onesies, pacifiers, etc. and always felt drawn to them. Always in the back of my mind. Now that I've been wearing and realized how relaxing and amazing being little is I accept it as a part of myself that won't simply go away. Sometimes I wish I could forget about it and never think about them again but it's seemingly impossible. I often feel ashamed of myself for having deep interest in such a strange facet of life, but it does clear my mind and help with stress and constant anxiety. I've been feeling so conflicted about having this little side and don't know how to really feel. I try to embrace it as much as I can, and see so many other people who are like me. It is harmless enough but for sure a strange thing to take part in and I understand that. I always have anxiety about being found out or not accepted, but don't mind keeping it a secret to myself. I do have constant worry that someone will find my diaper stash or my paci and onesie, and carry a lot of this weight with me daily.

Have any of you felt the same way? What did you do to get through it or are you going through it as well? I just need a little piece of mind or some helpful words to find my way. Sorry for the lengthy post, just figured that this was the place to put my thoughts and maybe get some clarity.

Thanks babies,
-choco
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Hi Choco

First thing you are not alone Little one.

I really wish Society accepted as for who we are. And maybe in time it will be more accepted that some people in Society don't really grow up.

Biy the sound of what you have written. You are going through the OMG what am I doing.. I would encourage you not to through everything away. Especially if you have a favourite stuffie.

You are a Little one and most of us struggle with anxiety.

Just be nice to your self, make sour you spend time in little space as it will help when you have to adult up.

I don’t know your living situation and how much of a risk it is to have your ABDL stuff about. But if it is posable for you not to have to hide everything away it will help. But only if the people you live with are going to be cool with it.

Hope this will help

Siysiy

 
First off, Trevor, as always, nails the importance of not feeling guilty while still understanding the benefits of being private and discrete. They are, indeed, separate.

As far as anxiety about being discovered goes, I think I can help with that. First off, it's important to be clean, hygienic, and reasonably discreet. The one way that you could cause yourself trouble is leaving diapers lying around the house or really being offensive to others, that would not be cool. But, as long as you put your stuff away and keep yourself and your place clean, you really don't need to be anxious. Guests are not in the business of snooping through your drawers and closets. If they did such a thing, it would be incredibly rude of them and quite unlikely that anything found would ever be shared around (because it would mean their own reputation would be ruined too).

Second, although we as ABDLs are very conscious of everything about diapers, the muggles of the world are not. At all. I've got a couple friends I've told about my interest in diapers and have had occasion to actually ask them if they could tell what type of underwear I had on after we'd been hanging out for a while. Nobody has ever been like "Oh yeah, I could tell you had a diaper on." Quite the opposite in fact, it's come as a surprise every time it's ever come up. So you really don't need to be anxious about people detecting you.

Lastly, if you do have regular guests and you are worried about things being found at your place, might I suggest the purchase of a lockable chest or box? You can put that in the closet, lock it and keep the key elsewhere or on your person, and that completely removes any chance of your things being discovered.
 
Hello Choco
I would not write it any better. You pretty much pinpointed everything I'm going through right now. I live with my parents and they are not so acceptable so I've got to keep it as secret.
I also like to be little. You are not alone. Many people like to be nurtured even outside of ABDL topic. I think the anxiety we experience has the root in the society's perception of perfect man/woman. And the fact that this is catecorized as fetish which Taboo..
ArchieRoni mentioned lockable chest. I have one and it's a brilliant idea. Highly recommend, don't hesitate..
-Jacob
 
Hi :)
I feel you, as many other people here do. We grew up being praised for acting maturely and feeling ashamed when doing something childish or babyish. It's something so strongly integrated into our personalities it's very hard to overcome it. But there is, in fact, absolutely no harm in wearing diapers.
We in the ABDL society are not the only ones doing something we desire that society judges us for. And in the sake of not just us growing personally but also the whole society being more accepting we must embrace our strange sides.
So much for the big talk. I know very well the feeling of shame - actually the last time i wore diaper I felt rather worse then good about it, just bc of this shame. It will take a while to stop looking at yourself through the eyes of society norms, but that should not stop you from doing this harmless thing that you love. :) Don't you ever stop doing something just bc society would not accept it - it's your life and you live it as you decide!
 
Hey, already plenty of good advice here. But truthfully, from what you've written, you actually have it well under control. With time you will become more comfortable, and as others have said, care with your activities will preserve your privacy. Having a lockable space really does alleviate so much of the anxiety of discovery. You really are just fine, just keep loving and accepting the special circumstances that make you the unique person you are.
 
Thanks for the helpful words guys. I'm naturally a nervous/anxious person and find it hard to keep confidence and piece of mind. I have a lockbox where I keep my stuff but still find myself being nervous at times. I hope some day I can fully accept my little side and not be shameful of a good thing, however different or strange it may seem. Maybe that last sentence is more motivation to be happy with this part of myself.
 
chocosaurusrex said:
Thanks for the helpful words guys. I'm naturally a nervous/anxious person and find it hard to keep confidence and piece of mind. I have a lockbox where I keep my stuff but still find myself being nervous at times. I hope some day I can fully accept my little side and not be shameful of a good thing, however different or strange it may seem. Maybe that last sentence is more motivation to be happy with this part of myself.
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Chocosaurusrex,

I do hope that the day that you are referring to comes soon for you as well.

I know what you are going through my friend, as do most of us here on ADISC. The interest of wearing diapers is something that because it is not perceived in society as normal can often cause issues of lack of acceptance by ourselves and feeling "less" than others because of it.

But having come from this same feeling that you are going through and then experiencing a few more years ahead of you, I can honestly say that this desire of wanting to wear diapers is nothing to be ashamed of. EVER! I truly believe that having this desire actually makes you a better person overall. I truly believe that. It is something that sets you apart from just being "the norm" and actually makes you a better person because of it.

What makes a certain coin more valuable than another (not considering its value in the gold or other metal, or its stated value as stamped on the coin)? Well, its rarity often is what causes it to be worth much more than other coins that are common and easily found. The same is true with cars, boats, or most any items.

My suggestion here is that your interest in wearing diapers is something that sets you apart from the norm and is something to be valued and desired, rather than ashamed.

I recently placed my own post here on ADISC about self esteem issues with being ABDL. This seems to relate very closely with what your comments are and I would encourage you to view the many responses that others have made to this. Perhaps it may be of some additional help.

Choco, I wish you the best of luck in your journey as you learn about who you are and come to understand yourself. I myself am still in this journey as well, but I know that who I am is somebody special, and my ABDLism is something that makes me special and I am happy that I am who I am. This took a long time to understand, but know that I do, I truly "got it".

My goal now is to help others to see this as well. To understand they are not alone and understand how special and truly awesome that they are.

My wish for you is to experience this understanding and that you may accept your little self and admire who you are. As you are truly amazing!!!

:detective3

Teddy Bear Cowboy
 
TeddyBearCowboy said:
Chocosaurusrex,

What makes a certain coin more valuable than another (not considering its value in the gold or other metal, or its stated value as stamped on the coin)? Well, its rarity often is what causes it to be worth much more than other coins that are common and easily found. The same is true with cars, boats, or most any items.

My suggestion here is that your interest in wearing diapers is something that sets you apart from the norm and is something to be valued and desired, rather than ashamed.



Teddy Bear Cowboy
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Wow, I always just wanted to get to a place where I can wear a diaper and feel ok with it. I never thought about actually being proud of it. Thank you for this awesome comment. I think it's people who are as supportive as you that make us want to join a community. :)
 
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