Fed up with the AB/DL Community?

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Darkfinn

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Just wondering if I am alone in this... or if others feel the way I do.

I'm fed up with the AB/DL community as a whole.

I'm sick of the same crappy repetitive topics that every single AB/DL board seems to have. "I'm too afraid to get diapers." "What's the best way to poop?" "How many diapers do you use per day?" "I want mommy to change my filthy nappies." "What do you think about this diaper." Blah blah blah.

I'm tired of all the perverts, sickos, trolls and otherwise lame individuals that clog up the boards with their ridiculous topics, surveys, and fantasy stories they claim to be true. All the people who just post garbage, individuals who use baby talk on forums and can't post an intelligent sentence.

What irritates me most is the random "new" people that show up on every AB/DL site saying the same things and asking the same questions. "Hi! I like diperz." really... no way, I had no idea. "Will pampers size 7 fit me?" Here's an idea, check the other 50 threads on the same topic.

I find it insulting and disgusting when people ask me or my fiancee what diapers we're wearing and if we're wet or "poppy" or not. We would rather not be a part of fulfilling your fantasy, thanks.

I don't want to hear any more about your "aspergers" or how badly your life sucks. How you are in your 20's, still living at home with mommy and daddy, unemployed, and can't have a life of your own because of their rules.

Am I the only one who thinks all of these folks need to shut up, grow up, act their age, quit whining, get a job, get a place of their own, and generally become a productive member of society?

Maybe my ideals and expectations of people are a bit old-fashioned... but surely I'm not the only one who thinks this way.
 

Nicky

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Just wondering if I am alone in this... or if others feel the way I do.

I'm fed up with the AB/DL community as a whole.

I'm sick of the same crappy repetitive topics that every single AB/DL board seems to have. "I'm too afraid to get diapers." "What's the best way to poop?" "How many diapers do you use per day?" "I want mommy to change my filthy nappies." "What do you think about this diaper." Blah blah blah.

I'm tired of all the perverts, sickos, trolls and otherwise lame individuals that clog up the boards with their ridiculous topics, surveys, and fantasy stories they claim to be true. All the people who just post garbage, individuals who use baby talk on forums and can't post an intelligent sentence.

What irritates me most is the random "new" people that show up on every AB/DL site saying the same things and asking the same questions. "Hi! I like diperz." really... no way, I had no idea. "Will pampers size 7 fit me?" Here's an idea, check the other 50 threads on the same topic.

I find it insulting and disgusting when people ask me or my fiancee what diapers we're wearing and if we're wet or "poppy" or not. We would rather not be a part of fulfilling your fantasy, thanks.

I don't want to hear any more about your "aspergers" or how badly your life sucks. How you are in your 20's, still living at home with mommy and daddy, unemployed, and can't have a life of your own because of their rules.

Am I the only one who thinks all of these folks need to shut up, grow up, act their age, quit whining, get a job, get a place of their own, and generally become a productive member of society?

Maybe my ideals and expectations of people are a bit old-fashioned... but surely I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

(Quoted For Truth) :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
 

Hex

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[font="Calibri,Arial"]If you are not happy, then leave. No one is forcing you to stay.

Personally, the thread titles are enough to give an indication of their topic. If it looks likely to annoy you, don't read it.[/font]
 

IttyBit

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I agree with you to a point.
We seem to see alot of new threads saying stuff like that. But the thing is, what could we talk about? Theres nothing much to talk about in infantilism other than buying things, diapers coming out, and stories.
 

Fire2box

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I don't want to hear any more about your "aspergers" or how badly your life sucks. How you are in your 20's, still living at home with mommy and daddy, unemployed, and can't have a life of your own because of their rules.

That's all one of my biggest problems and concerns with Adisc. I think we need to stop with pity party topics.
 

Darkfinn

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Just to clarify... this is not an ADISC specific rant. It applies equally to all the other big AB/DL sites. DD, DSpace, etc. They're all chock full of this crap.
 

Hex

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Just to clarify... this is not an ADISC specific rant. It applies equally to all the other big AB/DL sites. DD, DSpace, etc. They're all chock full of this crap.

[font="Calibri,Arial"]My point still applies. If your not happy with a community, why stay? If you feel they are all bad, make your own and ban those topics.

This is an ab/dl site, as are the others you mentioned. Diapers therefore will be discussed. Diapers are not a broad subject, so the same topics will come up. Short of stickying one of each thread, if it's not on the first page of thread listings, it won't be seen, and duplicates will be made. Of course, if you hate seeing these topics, stickying is a cure worse than the symptoms.

Newbies by definition have not seen all the rants, seen the same threads, and don't know better. They won't see this thread, after a few weeks. So all it's achieved is some drama.

I know for me, adisc is the main forum I go on, but I am well aware that for some others, the only reason they go on ab/dl sites to talk about... ab/dl.

One suggestion (specifically for adisc) to cut down on duplicates is to have a list of threads like those shown for the "Check if already posted" automatically shown after you finish typing the title. Anyone who has used Stackoverflow knows what I'm talking about. For the rest, Ill add a screenshot next time I'm on a PC.

EDIT: Screenshots.

Before
screenshot1pqu.png

After
screenshot2t.png
[/font]
 
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E

Elli

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In the most part, I agree. But I'm not sure anything can really be achieved by discussing it, other than with the practical, specific suggestions such as those made by Dreamaker.

I fear this will be a long thread of side taking and people taking offence if they happen to fit into one of the catagories of people mentioned in the original post. *Yawn*

It would be great if everything that annoyed us ceased to happen, but that's idealistic and not likely. What is likely is a long discussion that achieves very little, because people like me, without any practical suggestions to offer, will join in.
 

Rational

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Looks like Darkfinn needs to take a break! ANd the fourms are just a rehash of the same stuff you should know that by now. You've been here for a while! Well I see a recurring habbit. If the newer members are posting threads and doing things that you deem unacceptible you can go out of your way and send them a PM on how to do stuff right. Since their new, they don't know about this site.

If someone asks you about your personal life story. Don't get all worked up pantys in a knot just tell them that you just can't do that to a person. Nudge them in a right direction. I find my self sending PMs out to new members that aren't doing something correctly. I respect them all the same and consitor there feelings and prefrences. I think you should have more resepect and understanding for new members. Instead of just petting the cat backwards and starting a useless uproar like you did countless times in the past.
 
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starshine

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I'd say it's probably best just to quit hanging around abdl sites so much, or take a break all together.
 

Takashi

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I will agree that i'm tired of the same Dekker type threads.
 

Sila

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I said this myself 3 years ago when I first found the infantilist community. Albeit my complaints were more along the line of "everyone I find complains that you aren't an infantilist if you dont care for the items" when countless times I would prove them wrong.

I do have to say this though. If you are unhappy about it, do something to make a change or ignore it. Most of the time you will see newbie posting those kinds of threads. They are NEWBIES for a reason! They dont know how the community works, how often a thread has been made, if it's OKAY to make such a thread, or if we even talk about anything else! They're NEWBIES. They're just getting their first glimpse of a whole new lifestyle, there's a ton of questions going on through their mind. Be nice instead of complaining! Answer their question and let them KINDLY know these kinds of questions are oftenly asked, and you can easily find them if you do a search. SHOW them how to do it, nicely, and then PM a mod asking for the thread to be closed /after/ you answer their question.

Really I dont see that many repeat threads in places other than the diaper forum- but what can you expect? they are DIAPERS. What more can we talk about them? They're a piece of polyacralyte and plastic stuck between our legs that soak up our pee and hold our poop. There are different kinds, there are baby kinds there are adult kinds. There, I've basically summed up everything about diapers in a sentence. Does that mean that everyone who reads this won't make a thread about diapers in the near future? No it doesn't.

Instead of adding to the poor quality threads, then why don't you try making some high quality discussion threads RELATING to the nature of this forum? :) Just a thought.
 

Charlie

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I don't bother with AB/DL websites, except this one obviously.
Mostly for the reasons you give.

Although with that said, I don't see these problems as a AB thing. Newbies asking silly questions, trolls posting, people who can't type or have terrible grammar, people posting absolute crap and the like is common everywhere.
Name a subject, and you'll find a forum with these problems.

The AB community probably just lacks enough sites that deal with these issue well.
 

LunaCat

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I agree with those suggesting you take a break. If you are not enjoying yourself doing something, there is no reason in this case to continue doing it.

As you said, this is not targeted at this site in particular, but I would go a step further and say that it should not be targeted at ab/dl sites in general either.

Other than area specific topics themselves, the problem you are describing is the exact same on every public board dedicated to any topic. You have "old user syndrome". It is almost inevitable to get this from time to time, and the only solution is to leave temporarily or permanently or create a private board (which loses much of its... charm... if you will). Or simply deal with it.

I say this as someone that regularly posts on many forms, lurks on many more, and has moderated for multiple years a forum much, much larger than this one.

As far as "perverts" go, you are on a board that deals with in part with a fetish, so you are bound to run into such people.

Myself, I do not understand the point in these kinds of posts... well, I do indirectly... I simply do not have the need to hear people say "me too" about it like it seems so many others do. I guess whatever floats your boat and all that jazz.

Still, again, there is no good reason to keep reading and posting on a board like this if you do not enjoy it. It would be a shame to waste ones time that way.
 

Calico

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I think you are being narrow. If you are tired of seeing all this, just leave the community. I have a couple aspie friends who won't even go in the autism community because of "too many whiners" and "bitching and moaning about their condition and not doing anything about it." I can't stand those people either so I just ignore them. But luckily they are in the minority I see. The rest just try to find solutions to their problems or talk about their experiance in life and I see people giving others advice like when people say "lets be friends" they mean they don't want to see you anymore or have anything to do with you. I also can't stand people bitching about their problems when there is a solution to it and they refuse to follow it or work on it. Also it's so hard to grow up if you have parents treating you like a child and not letting you grow up and they won't help you with anything like take you to go get your driver's lisence or help you go get a job, it's hard for everyone to move forward in life without help from their parents. Can a normal person go to college in another state if they have no way of getting there and their parents won't take them there or help them get there? Can a normal person go get a driver's lisence if their parents don't take them to the DMV or won't let them drive their car so they refuse to let them get their lisence? Can a normal person go get a job if they have no car and their parents won't take them to work or let them get their lisence? Not all places have public transportation so how can the kids go get a lisence or a job if their parents don't help them move forward in life?
Some parents out there are so ridiculously over protective over their autistic kids they don't let them grow up and they treat them like children I want to bop them on the head for it. Their kids never learn to grow up because of it or learn from their mistakes because their parents are so over protective of them and they won't let them go out alone or get a job, etc. because they think they can't do it. Then after a while I think the aspies start believing it because they had been told over and over they can't live a normal life, can't work or drive, etc. so they stop trying themselves and start living behind the label as well and being a victim of it and maybe act more AS.

How can you even tell if someone's story is fake? Sure if they said they just tried on their first diaper and liked it and they had been into them since they were seven, then two weeks later they claim to have a medical condition and have been in them their whole life, then that's when you can tell they aren't truthful.

Also some people still live at home because they can't afford to live on their own and it's expensive. It can take a few years to get section 8 so the person has to wait until they get it to move out and get a place of their own. Some people save up to move out because there are those application fees and the deposit fees and it can also be because they are waiting till they are making enough with their job to move out to afford a place of their own or they are saving up for a house. Some still live at home as they are going to school and they work to make money to pay for college and their parents don't charge them rent unless they are in school. So don't judge anyone for still living at home in their twenties. You don't know their life situation.

Some people have a real difficulty time getting a job, with the poor economy it's tough for lot of people, and when you have a disability, you get judged and I hear fat people get judged too so they don't hire them. I don't really have a job right now because things are so slow at work and I am hardly having any hours to work. I am trying to get another job but so many places always want experiance and it just makes it hard for me to get a job. I only have experiance in housekeeping and janitorial so it makes it more likely I will get a job in that area. Just because someone is sitting at home not working doesn't mean they are lazy and don't want one. Just because someone is living on Social Security and still living at home doesn't mean they are lazy and they are abusing the system because you don't know how they are affected by their condition or what their life style is. They could have epilepsy and that keeps you from having a job or they could have some other illness and it keeps them from working. My in laws can't work anymore because the doctor declared them disabled and told them they can't have a job but yet they can use a computer and my mother in law can drive and they can watch her grand kids. I know people in wheelchairs can have jobs but it depends on the person and if they can find one in their area where they don't have to use their legs. I wouldn't judge anyone for living on SSI and living at home and not working because I don't know their situation and how their condition effects them on the job and maybe there are no job coaches in their area to work with them on the job.

Oh yeah did you know some people have had to move back home after they lost their jobs because they couldn't afford their house anymore?

If you don't want people asking about your diapers, just tell them.
 

analogmedium

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This is why I go to FTT, diapers are seldom talked about at all, sans for art and stories.
Everything else is just a normal forum.
 
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