If it wasn't for the fact that I like to wear diapers, my incontinence would be absolutely unbearable. As it is, I still hate having to clean up the messy ones, and it's hard not to be noticed with one in a crowded place. You gotta be quick and get out of there fast before somebody figures out it's you that stinks. If you're lucky, there will be a little kid around that will get the blame! I know that's mean, but who would suspect an adult, right? LOL
Honestly though, I've had to deal with this long enough that it doesn't bother me too much if somebody notices, because what can I do about it, except become a hermit? It's a medical problem, and if anyone asks, I tell them exactly that. That's how a few of my newer friends found out about it. They encouraged me to go with them and I had an accident while out driving around in the desert with them, looking for this wash that had some old cars dumped in it. {I do get out some} We were in separate vehicles of course, but I still had to explain why I needed to go down the trail a ways by myself so somebody didn't come walking up on me in the middle of changing my messy diaper. Nobody seemed to mind, in fact, I got a lot of support from them, and even had offers to help me around the house if there was something I couldn't do myself, which I thought was extremely nice of them. These are members of the local car club, ones that my family went on the trip down part of old route 66 with earlier this year.
I know how you feel. It's good you have some support though. Anyone I know if it gets brought up just says they don't care and it gets awkward, or say nothing and tries to change the subject...That's if it's a positive reaction mind you.
BTW, I really am curious how you explain that to them - like how do you bring it up? For me, I don't have a lot of confidence to start with and that just is so hard to explain to people....yet I always feel compelled to do so, so I won't be questioned later in a worse situation.
Well, it was very embarrassing to me to have to mention it, but I kinda didn't really have a choice in the matter. We were walking along this trail beside the wash that had the old cars in it, looking for a way down into it that didn't require ropes and a winch. As we were walking back to our trucks, I had a messy accident. I slowed down and said something like, "Oh crap", and when one of the guys asked me what was wrong, I just explained that ever since my last back surgery, there have been some complications, one of which was the need to wear protection because of the loss of control. They both understood, and said that it's no problem, and I asked that they keep this to themselves because I didn't want everyone knowing about it. That was acceptable to them, and then one of them, Ken, said that he knows how I feel, his dad is getting really old and has to wear protection now too. The fact that all of these guys are regular church members also helped, in that they weren't your typical, hard ass, macho morons, that would make fun of their own mother if they had the chance. I felt like I could trust them.
So when we got back to our vehicles, I excused myself after explaining to my son so he'd stay with the rest of the people there, and I drove down the trail about a 1/4 mile and changed on the far side of my truck so I wouldn't be seen.
Since then, their wives and girl friends have found out, either by them or by my wife telling them about it, and I don't mind about that. They were talking about health problems, and my wife is very careful how she brings it up, and who she tells.
So all in all, I guess I'm pretty lucky that I've got a group of friends that understand and accept me like I am, diapers and all.
I'm happy for you. :smile1: It worked out in the end...And I really know what you mean by those "macho morons" you were talking about...
:sad: ...But ya I guess my family is the hardest to explain this to. Like I can lose a friend if it doesn't work out....but not family. We're stuck with them.
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But seriously...every single thing is going to make this sooo awkward. My sister's trying to "cover for me" by telling everyone I'm staying at her house for christmas and that I "have no intention of going" to see everyone else....She's making it really harsh to try to protect me. But I really do want to see them, and I'm tired of this ruling my life. :sad:
They'll want to know why :sad:...or they wouldn't probably believe me. As I said, I'm worried most about the ones that know I'm an AB, because without a full explanation they will push for it, and if I don't give it, they'll just say it's because of my AB thing.were you, and I wanted to see my family for the holidays, I would just go on and go. When you get there, maybe you can take one of your parents aside, whomever it's easiest for you to talk to, and just explain what has happened to you, without going into all the gory details, like the parts about how you may have caused this yourself. That's just not something that they would need to know, and it would only upset them anyhow, right?
...I accept it, but I still don't want to deal with it.Well, there probably isn't much that can be done to stop this from ruling your life as you say, if your doctor didn't have any solutions for you. You are going to just have to accept that and move on, make the best of a bad situation, if you know what I mean.