Emotional kicks from medical needs?

[Elli]

There's something I've been wondering. Maybe people might like to comment and shed some light on this...

Do people who get an emotional kick from wearing a nappy/diaper also feel quite good about needing a dressing or bandage over a wound or injury when they accidently get hurt from time to time, as naturally happens? (I am speaking of minor injuries by the way, not anything disabling or very serious).

Let me explain...

I am NOT suggesting that people who like to wear nappies also like to get hurt. NO. I expect there are people on this forum who self-injure and there may be some people would don't mind or even relish pain. But that's NOT what I'm talking about here.

I'm wondering whether there is some sort of similarity between how it feels to tend to a wound and how it feels to tend to changing your own nappy. Both involve tangibly tending to a physical need. I suppose I could take it further and suggest a few other similarities, for example, sometimes an injury leaks blood and needs something absorbant applied, or something wrapped quite tightly around it, features that are parallel to diapers? But it's more than the physical...

As a child, I remember lapping up every moment of having to wear a sling for a broken arm. Yes, I enjoyed the special attention it sometimes gave me, but more than that, it was the sense of having to wear something out of necessity for a limited time, for a genuine (medical) reason, that I enjoyed. The feeling it brought was very similar to the way wearing a nappy can make me feel.

Perhaps, for some, the secret relishing of tending to a wound or mild medical need can be an early sign of, or a small step towards, liking a diaper?

I'm sure some people will think this is a stange suggestion. But perhaps some people might know what I mean? Can you help me explain it? Or offer some insight?

 

[Siege89]

I understand what your trying to say. I dont reember much as a child having to many broken bones or anything. but Who knows for sure. We are all so diff.

 

[Mesmerale]

The only sort of thing that I can think of is when I tripped at work and beat the hell out of my legs.

One of the other employees insisted on taking me to the back and putting bandages on the scrapes, rather than letting me do it myself (Let me say right now that it doesn't mean anything. She's a fairly carefree person and enjoys uncommon situations like that. She would have reacted that way with any person that she's friends with).

While she was doing that, I got a huge emotional kick out of the fact that she was taking care of me in such a way. I was able to overlay fake emotions (Love, Affection, Tenderness) onto her actions, and it made me feel extremely good.

But did the act of having a bandage put on me, pressing against my skin and sealing an opening, make me feel good? No. It was the (imagined) affection that I associated with my friend bandaging my legs.

 

[Pojo]

I think I get what you are saying. For me, I have a cast/brace fetish along with a diaper fetish, so I enjoy wearing braces. I have only had to wear a brace once, and I did enjoy it. I do like the extra attention, but at the same time I hate it, because I like doing things myself, rather than having people attend to my every need.

 

[ZombifiedKitty]

After a pellet gun in my closet going off in my leg last year. NO. Its not the same and just doesn't do it for me. Changing the dressings and washing with saline all the time isn't anywhere near like changing a diaper to me. Limping around for a couple months wasn't fun either, same goes for a severely sprained ankle (didn't land a 6ft jump). Heck I don't mind wearing diapers around people but the embarassment of having my closet shoot me was just too much.

 

[avery]

i remember when i was younger i was afraid to tell my parents when i was sick or injured because i liked the attention it got me so much, and i was worried they'd be able to tell. when i tried to tell them i was feeling sick i couldn't get the words out -- i couldn't figure out how to make my voice sound normal. it always sounded ostentatiously pathetic to me, and i didn't want it to seem like i was pleading for attention. then they'd get all concerned and feel my forehead and all that, and i'd be so embarrassed i just wanted to cover my face and hide.

i wonder if that's related to the fact that i like diapers. i've always had this secret desire to be held and cared for, but for some reason i've always been terribly terribly ashamed of it.

 

[Elli]

Thanks for your responses, it's interesting to find out people's different perspectives. I can relate to some of what you say. Avery, you reminded me...As a young child, I once had my Mum guessing for days what my 'secret' was because I was too embarrassed to say my tummy hurt!

I've been thinking about it all and I guess I've tried to form some theory, or a summary - if that's possible. But I'm not there yet, so say what you think. Ok...here's my thoughts:

There seems to be a kind of shame at needing assistence and an urge to be independent but also a conflicting enjoyment of the nurturing recieved. So maybe a desire for special attention and care, but at the same time, being ashamed of that conflicting urge. This seems to be applicable to both diapers and medical-type care.

There may be some sort of satisfaction in being seen to have a need but dealing with it so independantly that no one ever really knows about the condition, other than an odd glimpse or hint here and there. Perhaps that's why some of us, even though we know our nappy-wearing is a private thing and we want it to remain so, still can't help but feel a buzz when our nappy accidently sticks out as we bend down in the supermarket.

Am I summing this up well or have I got it wrong?

Maybe this is taking things too deep and I don't want to go all psychological just for the sake of it, but I've studied some psychology theory (Fowler and Westerhoff) that suggests that within the toddler years there is a tension between autonomy (new-found independence) and shame (messing up - pun part intended, and needing care). When a healthy balance is found between autonomy and shame, the stage has been resolved. This all seems pretty logical to me. It makes me wonder whether my desires (and other peoples) might come from this sort of 'autonomy vs shame' conflict, which also manifests itself in medical-type needs as well as diapers.

What do you think? Both about this and the original thread-starting post?

 

[LaramFox]

i wonder if that's related to the fact that i like diapers. i've always had this secret desire to be held and cared for, but for some reason i've always been terribly terribly ashamed of it.

Heh, Me Too.

 

[Rosy]

I think this thread raises some interesting points. I had not thought of the connection between medical care and our fetishes. I think there is a connection between the need to be cared for and the excuse medical care gives you to be cared for.

I have self-harmed for many years, and have previously written that part of the reason I self-harm is to give myself an excuse to comfort myself: to soothe wounds and bruises by rubbing cream into them, by covering them in soft bandages. I know you were not connecting self-harm with this fetish in this thread, but I wanted to bring this up, because I think part of my urge for self-harm stems from the same place that longs for nappies, soothers and bottles. Wounds give me an excuse for comfort and being babied. And comfort and being babied are a huge part of this fetish for me. I can really see how wounds, whether deliberate or not, and their care, could feel similar to people to nappies or other parts of this fetish.

 

[Lazy]

I was really accident prone as a young boy, always getting scrapes, scuffs, scratches, bruises, etc.

Then again I was really active and adventurous so I guess it came with the territory.

 

[curiousitykitten]

I think I get what you are saying. For me, I have a cast/brace fetish along with a diaper fetish, so I enjoy wearing braces. I have only had to wear a brace once, and I did enjoy it. I do like the extra attention, but at the same time I hate it, because I like doing things myself, rather than having people attend to my every need.

i recall a convo we had >.>
lol

 

[Elli]

I have self-harmed for many years, and have previously written that part of the reason I self-harm is to give myself an excuse to comfort myself: to soothe wounds and bruises by rubbing cream into them, by covering them in soft bandages. I know you were not connecting self-harm with this fetish in this thread, but I wanted to bring this up, because I think part of my urge for self-harm stems from the same place that longs for nappies, soothers and bottles. Wounds give me an excuse for comfort and being babied. And comfort and being babied are a huge part of this fetish for me. I can really see how wounds, whether deliberate or not, and their care, could feel similar to people to nappies or other parts of this fetish.

Rosy - I find your post interesting, thanks for sharing. I too have self-harmed for years, although I have managed to taper it off so now it's something I only do occasionally. I guess I started the thread without initially connecting self-harm because I wanted people to look directly and deeply at the 'why' behind any connection without getting side-tracked other complex issues. But you are not at all on a side-track, you are using your experience of self-harm to discuss the core point of the thread subject. :smile:

I think, that on occasion, I have substituted self-harm for nappy-wearing, as a less damaging or upsetting alternative. Now that's not to say that nappy-wearing is equivalent to self-harm. (LOL - unless you have a seriously bad case of chafing! ) But rather that something about nappy-wearing provides something that self-harm also provides. What that thing is, I'm not yet sure and as with many things, it could be different for different people. Ok, it's time to get serious and make a list...hold on to your hats...

Obviously, while discussing this, I am NOT suggesting that all DL or *B people have emotional/psychological issues or that they self-harm.

Possible emotional or psychological parallels:

1. Comfort. Tending to a wound or injury gives feelings of being babied and cared for. Providing ourselves with a diaper gives same or similar feelings.

2. Similar to point 1, diapers allow us a tangible outer means of dealing with an inward turmoil. (as does self-harm)

3. Both alter our daily experience. A mundane, depressing day can be given a twist by wearing our injuries or our nappies around with us.

4. Both carry debate re. exposure. Some people secretly want others to notice an injury, bandage etc. Some people secretly want others to notice their diaper. Although, I would imagine the reasons behind these different sorts of exposure might be different. Unless...

5. ...perhaps there is a satisfaction in allowing people to catch a glimpse of how independently the condition/injury is dealt with. Maybe a connection to the wish for care but a simultaneous detesting of the shame that being cared for can bring.

Hmm...thats the best I can do for now.

 

[Rosy]

Possible emotional or psychological parallels:

1. Comfort. Tending to a wound or injury gives feelings of being babied and cared for. Providing ourselves with a diaper gives same or similar feelings.

2. Similar to point 1, diapers allow us a tangible outer means of dealing with an inward turmoil. (as does self-harm)

3. Both alter our daily experience. A mundane, depressing day can be given a twist by wearing our injuries or our nappies around with us.

4. Both carry debate re. exposure. Some people secretly want others to notice an injury, bandage etc. Some people secretly want others to notice their diaper. Although, I would imagine the reasons behind these different sorts of exposure might be different. Unless...

5. ...perhaps there is a satisfaction in allowing people to catch a glimpse of how independently the condition/injury is dealt with. Maybe a connection to the wish for care but a simultaneous detesting of the shame that being cared for can bring.

I like your list a lot, and I love that you decided to make a list! I think a lot of your reasons are interesting and I definitely see the parallels. Obviously these aren't going to all apply to any one person (or probably they are not) but they definitely provide very interesting guidelines to the connexion between self-harm and wearing nappies. (As an aside, I've seen a lot of talk about the connexion between watersports and self-harm in the past, something that possibly also ties in with Nr. 4 and 5 on your list, though is obviously a very different fetish.) I think there are definitely different places from which these two desires could stem: the desire for comfort, the desire to change (spice up?) the mundanity and glumness of day to day life, the wish for some kind of exposure, coupled with shame. Both self harm and infantalism are a way of wearing your heart or your feelings on your sleeve--but for the most part, secretly.

 

[Elli]

I was reading in another thread that water sports can be a type of fetish and it reminded me of what was mentioned here, (in the above post by Rosy) where it was suggested that there might be a connection between water sports and self-harm. So, naturally this awakened my curiousity and made me wonder if all three of these things (nappies, self-harm/medical needs and water sports) are tangibly linked.

On the surface, water sports and medical needs seem unrelated, and perhaps they are. But in my personal experience I have found the wearing of a buoyancy jacket to be sort of almost on a par with nappy wearing. I say 'sort of' because there are massive differences too. But I mean the wearing of a piece of kit that is necessary to protect you or maybe even show your vulnerability despite your independent persona. That's the similarity, I think. There might also be something in strapping the jacket on snugly and being somewhat dependent on it. I should mention that nappy-wearing is predominantly non-sexual to me, but rather a deep, psychological and emotional sort of thing which just brushes past sexuality.

I own a buoyancy jacket and use it when I occasionally do kayaking and raft-building (not often). Unlike nappies, or medical things (casts, bandages etc) you obviously can't get away with walking down the street wearing it! But, there is definitely some over-lap for me. I still think nappies provide a deeper and broader comfort and sense of emotional fulfillment than the other things mentioned, but I find it interesting to see the similarities and work out whether the over-lap means anything.

Can anyone offer more insight into whether water-sports fetish(?) is linkable to self-harm, medical needs and nappies?

 

[dogboy]

I too didn't think there was a connection until you made your point, and yes, I see. I don't think self hurting parallels to diapers or wanting to be babied for me, but I can see the connection. When I was 14, I walked out in front of a car and had both bones in my lower leg broken. I was miserable, and would have done anything to have avoided that.

When I have hurt myself, it has almost always been because I was angry or frustrated, maybe depressed as well. I don't think there is much of a connection to being babied for me.

 

[Rheeer]

Whenever I hurt myself, I take that as my cue to act like a complete baby...both because pain makes me regress, and...well, I have an excuse. lol

As for whether they're somehow interrelated, I think in my case they could be. I went through two operations as a child, and that was some of the most careful mothering I ever got. It was cool for that much, even if I was in pain.

But regressing when I hurt myself is natural; it's nothing I consciously relate. So I'm up in the air on this one, but open to either possibility.

 

[avery]

I was reading in another thread that water sports can be a type of fetish and it reminded me of what was mentioned here, (in the above post by Rosy) where it was suggested that there might be a connection between water sports and self-harm. So, naturally this awakened my curiousity and made me wonder if all three of these things (nappies, self-harm/medical needs and water sports) are tangibly linked.

On the surface, water sports and medical needs seem unrelated, and perhaps they are. But in my personal experience I have found the wearing of a buoyancy jacket to be sort of almost on a par with nappy wearing. I say 'sort of' because there are massive differences too. But I mean the wearing of a piece of kit that is necessary to protect you or maybe even show your vulnerability despite your independent persona. That's the similarity, I think. There might also be something in strapping the jacket on snugly and being somewhat dependent on it. I should mention that nappy-wearing is predominantly non-sexual to me, but rather a deep, psychological and emotional sort of thing which just brushes past sexuality.

I own a buoyancy jacket and use it when I occasionally do kayaking and raft-building (not often). Unlike nappies, or medical things (casts, bandages etc) you obviously can't get away with walking down the street wearing it! But, there is definitely some over-lap for me. I still think nappies provide a deeper and broader comfort and sense of emotional fulfillment than the other things mentioned, but I find it interesting to see the similarities and work out whether the over-lap means anything.

Can anyone offer more insight into whether water-sports fetish(?) is linkable to self-harm, medical needs and nappies?

:laugh: the term "water-sports" refers to sex play involving pee, not to kayaking, surfing, or swimming. so of COURSE it's related to diaper-wearing.

that said, i can totally understand how someone could develope a life-jacket fetish. being dependent on some physical object is kind of hot. when i was younger i was really captivated with the idea needing glasses to see properly, and i could have easily developed and eyeglasses fetish.

you have to admit, it was a pretty funny misinterpretation, though. :biggrin:

 

[recovery]

Elli, I feel somewhat similar. I've never been able to put my finger on it. and it is an odd thing to explain. But I have said it before, I enjoy going to the doctors and Hospitals when need be. Be it a simple Talk to your GP about the pain in your foot, or having your regular check of body temperature and pulse by a nurse while I am sat up in the bed. It's not just attention to your personally as a person, but attention to your body that others and myself give.

Maybe it's when you're in a state of needy-ness you have a problem, you go for help where some one cares for you. Just like a kid when we needing anything we went to our parents. But on this scale, maybe the needyness for medical science?

As far as Diapers are concerned? I guess your Anaolgy is the best I could say. It's taking care of your needyness of not needing to be near a toilet all the time. Making your life a little more conftable?

 

[Elli]

:laugh: the term "water-sports" refers to sex play involving pee, not to kayaking, surfing, or swimming. so of COURSE it's related to diaper-wearing. You have to admit, it was a pretty funny misinterpretation, though. :biggrin:

:laugh: Oops!! Thanks for telling me, I'd have looked like an even worse idiot otherwise! *Laughs all over again* Aww, man, I am so damn literal and naive sometimes. I had no idea.

But yeah, major misinterpretation aside, being dependen on an object or the care of others, and even being seen to be, must have some cross-over with diaper-fetish.

Thanks for chatting about this subject, I know that's what you do on a forum, obviously, but it's made things make more sense for me.

 

[NoahKokoro]

I'm sure the similarity between water sports (actual sports), medical needs, and diapers is, like others have said, is the feeling of dependence. I'll admit that if I'm at the doctor's office for a check-up I do enjoy the attention, but if I'm there because I'm hurt, I'm too nervous about getting a shoot and/or the pain to enjoy the attention.

As for the other watersports, it might just be a feeling of regression to wet one's pants like one did as a kid. One possible reason for this is that it's a sense of humiliation and subconsciously they want someone to comfort them, like a parent or caretaker might. That subconscious impulse could be linked to self-harm/medical needs and diapers, maybe not just because of wanting to seem indepenent by taking care of it, but just wanting to be fussed over.